THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


;>  «^  -f-0JVU «  Of 

INCIDENTS 


LIFE  OF  A  SLAVE  GIRL. 


WRITTEN    BY    HERSELF.  : 


"Northerners  know  nothing  at  all  about  Slavery.  They  think  it  is  perpetual 
bondage  only.  They  have  no  conception  of  the  depth  of  degradation  involved 
in  that  word,  SLAVERY  ;  if  they  had,  they  would  never  cease  their  efforts  until 

BO  horrible  a  system  was  overthrown." 

A  WOMAN  or  NORTH  CAROLINA. 

"Rise  up,  ye  women  that  are  at  ease!    Hear  my  voice,  ye  careless  daughters! 

Give  ear  unto  my  speech." 

ISAIAH  xzxii.  9. 


EDITED    BY    L.   MARIA    CHILD. 


BOSTON: 
PUBLISHED    FOR    THE    AUTHOR. 

1861. 


Entered,  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1860,  by 

L.   MAKIA   CHILD, 
In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  District  of  Massaclmawtto. 


STEREOTYPED     AT     THE 
BOSTON     «*  JtLEOTYFE     FOUNDRY. 


fctacR 
Anna* 


E 


PREFACE  BY  THE  AUTHOR. 


READER,  be  assured  this  narrative  is  no  fiction.  I 
am  aware  that  some  of  my  adventures  may  seem  in 
credible;  but  they  are,  nevertheless,  strictly  true.  I 
have  not  exaggerated  the  wrongs  inflicted  by  Sla 
very  ;  on  the  contrary,  my  descriptions  fall  far  short 
of  the  facts.  I  have  concealed  the  names  of  places, 
and  given  persons  fictitious  names.  I  had  no  motive 
for  secrecy  on  my  own  account,  but  I  deemed  it  kind 
and  considerate  towards  others  to  pursue  this  course. 

I  wish  I  were  more  competent  to  the  task  I  have 
undertaken.  But  I  trust  my  readers  will  excuse  de 
ficiencies  in  consideration  of  circumstances.  I  was 
born  and  reared  in  Slavery ;  and  I  remained  in  a 
Slave  State  twenty-seven  years.  Since  I  have  been 
at  the  North,  it  has  been  necessary  for  me  to  work 
diligently  for  my  own  support,  and  the  education  of 
my  children.  This  has  not  left  me  much  leisure  to 
make  up  for  the  loss  of  early  opportunities  to  im 
prove  myself;  and  it  has  compelled  me  to  write  these 
pages  at  irregular  intervals,  whenever  I  could  snatch 
an  hour  from  household  duties. 

1*  (5) 


6  Preface  by  the  Author. 

When  I  first  arrived  in  Philadelphia,  Bishop  Paine 
advised  me  to  publish  a  sketch  of  my  life,  but  I 
told  him  I  was  altogether  incompetent  to  such  an 
undertaking.  Though  I  have  improved  my  mind 
somewhat  since  that  time,  I  still  remain  of  the  same 
opinion;  but  I  trust  my  motives  will  excuse  what 
might  otherwise  seem  presumptuous.  I  have  not 
written  my  experiences  in  order  to  attract  attention 
to  myself;  on  the  contrary,  it  would  have  been  more 
pleasant  to  me  to  have  been  silent  about  my  own 
history.  Neither  do  I  care  to  excite  sympathy  for  my 
own  sufferings.  But  I  do  earnestly  desire  to  arouse 
the  women  of  the  North  to  a  realizing  sense  of  the 
condition  of  two  millions  of  women  at  the  South, 
still  in  bondage,  suffering  what  I  suffered,  and  most 
of  them  far  worse.  I  want  to  add  my  testimony  to 
that  of  abler  pens  to  convince  the  people  of  the  Free 
States  what  Slavery  really  is.  Only  by  experience 
can  any  one  realize  how  deep,  and  dark,  and  foul  is 
that  pit  of  abominations.  May  the  blessing  of  God 
rest  on  this  imperfect  effort  in  behalf  of  my  perse 
cuted  people ! 

LINDA  BBENT. 


INTRODUCTION  BY  THE  EDITOR. 


THE  author  of  the  following  autobiography  is  per 
sonally  known  to  me,  and  her  conversation  and  man 
ners  inspire  me  with  confidence.  During  the  last 
seventeen  years,  she  has  lived  the  greater  part  of 
the*  time  with  a  distinguished  family  in  New  York, 
and  has  so  deported  herself  as  to  be  highly  esteemed 
by  them.  This  fact  is  sufficient,  without  further  cre 
dentials  of  her  character.  I  believe  those  who  know 
her  will  not  be  disposed  to  doubt  her  veracity, 
though  some  incidents  in  her  stoiy  are  more  ro 
mantic  than  fiction. 

At  her  request,  I  have  revised  her  manu'script;  but 
such  changes  as  I  have  made  have  been  mainly  for 
purposes  of  condensation  and  orderly  arrangement.  I 
have  not  added  any  thing  to  the  incidents,  or  changed 
the  import  of  her  very  pertinent  remarks.  With 
trifling  exceptions,  both  the  ideas  and  the  language 
are  her  own.  I  pruned  excrescences  a  little,  but 
otherwise  I  had  no  reason  for  changing  her  lively 
and  dramatic  way  of  telling  her  own  story.  The 
names  of  both  persons  and  places  are  known  to  me; 
but  for  good  reasons  I  suppress  them. 

It  will  naturally  excite  surprise  that  a  woman  reared 
in  Slavery  should  be  a'ble  to  write  so  well.  But  cir- 

(7) 


8  Introduction  by  the  Editor. 

cumstances  will  explain  this.  In  the  first  place,  na 
ture  endowed  her  with  quick  perceptions.  Secondly, 
the  mistress,  with  whom  she  lived  till  she  was  twelve 
years  old,  was  a  kind,  considerate  friend,  who  taught 
her  to  read  and  spell.  Thirdly,  she  was  placed  in  fa 
vorable  circumstances  after  she  came  to  the  North ; 
having  frequent  intercourse  with  intelligent  persons, 
who  felt  a  friendly  interest  in  her  welfare,  and  were 
disposed  to  give  her  opportunities  for  self-improvement. 
I  am  well  aware  that  many  will  accuse  me  of  in 
decorum  for  presenting  these  pages  to  the  public;  for 
the  experiences  of  this  intelligent  and  much-injured 
woman  belong  to  a  class  which  some  call  delicate 
subjects,  and  others  indelicate.  This  peculiar  phase  of 
Slavery  has  generally  been  kept  veiled;  but  the  pub 
lic  ought  to  be  made  acquainted  with  its  monstrous 
features,  and  I  willingly  take  the  responsibility  of  pre 
senting  them  with  the  veil  withdrawn.  I  do  this  for 
the  sake  of  my  sisters  in  bondage,  who  are  suffering 
wrongs  so  foul,  that  our  ears  are  too  delicate  to  listen 
to  them.  I  do  it  with  the  hope  of  arousing  con 
scientious  and  reflecting  women  at  the  North  to  a 
sense  of  their  duty  in  the  exertion  of  moral  influ 
ence  on  the  question  of  Slavery,  on  all  possible  occa 
sions.  I  do  it  with  the  hope  that  every  man  who 
reads  this  narrative  will  swear  solemnly  before  God 
that,  so  far  as  he  has  power  to  prevent  it,  no  fugi 
tive  from  Slavery  shall  ever  be  sent  back  to  suffer  in 
that  loathsome  den  of  corruption  and  cruelty. 

L.  MARIA  CHILD. 


CONTENTS. 


FAG, 

CHILDHOOD 11 

I. 

THE  NEW  MASTER  AND  MISTRESS 17 

THE  SLATES'  NEW  YEAR'S  DAY 25 

THE  SLAVE  WHO  DARED  TO  FEEL  LIKE  A  MAN 28 

THE  TRIALS  OF  GIRLHOOD 44 

THE  JEALOUS  MISTRESS 49 

THE  LOVER 68 

WHAT  SLAVES  ARE  TAUGHT  TO  THINK  OF  THE  NORTH.      .     .  67 

SKETCHES  OF  NEIGHBORING  SLAVEHOLDERS 71 

A  PERILOUS  PASSAGE  IN  THE  SLAVE  GIRL'S  LIFE 82 

THE  NEW  TIE  TO  LIFE 90 

FEAR  OF  INSURRECTION 97 

THE  CHURCH  AND  SLAVERY 105 

ANOTHER  LINK  TO  LIFE 117 

CONTINUED  PERSECUTIONS 122 

SCENES  AT  THE  PLANTATION 131 

THE  FLIGHT 145 

MONTHS  OF  PERIL 150 

THE  CHILDREN  SOLD /160 

NEW  PERILS 167 

THE  LOOPHOIE  OF  RETREAT 173 

(9) 


io  Contents. 

CHRISTMAS  FESTIVITIES 179 

STILL  in  PBISON 183 

THE  CANDIDATE  FOB  CONGKESS 189 

COMPETITION  IN  CUNNING 193 

IMPORTANT  ERA  IN  MY  BROTHER'S  LIFE 'T§01 


NEW  DESTINATION  FOR  THE  CHILDREN (207 

AUNT  NANCY 217 

PREPARATIONS  FOR  ESCAPE 224 

NORTHWARD  BOUND 237 

INCIDENTS  IN  PHILADELPHIA 242 

THE  MEETING  OF  MOTHER  AND  DAUGHTER .  249 

A  HOME  FOUND 254 

THE  OLD  ENEMY  AGAIN 258 

PREJUDICE  AGAINST  COLOR 264 

THE  HAIR-BREADTH  ESCAPE.     . 268 

A  VISIT  TO  ENGLAND 275 

RENEWED  INVITATION  TO  GO  SOUTH. 279 

THE  CONFESSION 282 

THE  FUGITIVE  SLAVE  LAW 285 

FREE  AT  LAST 293 


APPENDIX 304 


INCIDENTS 

IN    THE 

LIFE   OF  A   SLAVE  GIRL, 

SEVEN  YEARS  CONCEALED. 


I. 

CHILDHOOD. 

I  WAS  born  a  slave ;  but  I  never  knew  it  till  six 
years  of  happy  childhood  had  passed  away.  My  father 
was  a  carpenter,  and  considered  so  intelligent  and 
skilful  in  his  trade,  that,  when  buildings  out  of  the 
common  line  were  to  be  erected,  he  was  sent  for  from 
long  distances,  to  be  head  workman.  On  condition 
of  paying  his  mistress  two  hundred  dollars  a  year,  and 
supporting  himself,  he  was  allowed  to  work  at  his 
trade,  and  manage  his  own  affairs.  His  strongest 
wish  was  to  purchase  his  children ;  but,  though  he 
several  times  offered  his  hard  earnings  for  that  pur 
pose,  he  never  succeeded.  In  complexion  my  parents 
were  a  light  shade  of  brownish  yellow,  and  were 
termed  mulattoes.  They  lived  together  in  a  comfort 
able  home  ;  and,  though  we  were  all  slaves,  I  was  so 
fondly  shielded  that  I  never  dreamed  I  was  a  piece 


12        Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

of  merchandise,  trusted  to  them  for  safe  keeping,  and 
liable  to  be  demanded  of  them  at  any  moment.  I  had 
one  brother,  William,  who  was  two  years  younger 
than  myself — a  bright,  affectionate  child.  I  had  also 
a  great  treasure  in  my  maternal  grandmother,  who 
was  a  remarkable  woman  in  many  respects.  She  was 
the  daughter  of  a  planter  in  South  Carolina,  who,  at 
his  death,  left  her  mother  and  his  three  children  free, 
with  money  to  go  to  St.  Augustine,  where  they  had 
relatives.  It  was  during  the  Revolutionary  War ;  and 
they  were  captured  on  their  passage,  carried  back,  and 
sold  to  different  purchasers.  Such  was  the  story  my 
grandmother  used  to  tell  me  ;  but  I  do  not  remember 
all  the  particulars.  She  was  a  little  girl  when  she  was 
captured  and  sold  to  the  keeper  of  a  large  hotel.  I 
have  often  heard  her  tell  how  hard  she  fared  during 
childhood.  But  as  she  grew  older  she  evinced  so 
much  intelligence,  and  was  so  faithful,  that  her  master 
and  mistress  could  not  help  seeing  it  was  for  their 
interest  to  take  care  of  such  a  valuable  piece  of  prop 
erty.  She  became  an  indispensable  personage  in  the 
household,  officiating  in  all  capacities,  from  cook  and 
wet  nurse  to  seamstress.  She  was  much  praised  for 
her  cooking ;  and  her  nice  crackers  became  so  famous 
in  the  neighborhood  that  many  people  were  desirous 
of  obtaining  them.  In  consequence  of  numerous  re 
quests  of  this  kind,  she  asked  permission  of  her  mis 
tress  to  bake  crackers  at  night,  after  all  the  household 
work  was  done  ;  and  she  obtained  leave  to  do  it,  pro 
vided  she  would  clothe  herself  and  her  children  from 
the  profits.  Upon  these  terms,  after  working  hard  all 
day  for  her  mistress,  she  began  her  midnight  bakings, 


Childhood.  13 

assisted  by  her  two  oldest  children.  The  business 
proved  profitable  ;  and  each  year  she  laid  by  a  little, 
which  was  saved  for  a  fund  to  purchase  her  children. 
Her  master  died,  and  the  property  was  divided  among 
his  heirs.  The  widow  had  her  dower  in  the  hotel, 
which  she  continued  to  keep  open.  My  grandmother 
remained  in  her  service  as  a  slave  ;  but  her  children 
were  divided  among  her  master's  children.  As  she 
had  five,  Benjamin,  the  youngest  one,  was  sold,  in 
order  that  each  heir  might  have  an  equal  portion  of 
dollars  and  cents.  There  was  so  little  difference  in 
our  ages  that  he  seemed  more  like  my  brother  than 
my  uncle.  He  was  a  bright,  handsome  lad,  nearly 
white  ;  for  he  inherited  the  complexion  my  grand 
mother  had  derived  from  Anglo-Saxon  ancestors^ 
Though  only  ten  years  old,  seven  hundred  and  twenty 
dollars  were  paid  for  him.  His  sale  was  a  terrible 
blow  to  my  grandmother ;  but  she  was  naturally  hope 
ful,  and  she  went  to  work  with  renewed  energy,  trust 
ing  in  time  to  be  able  to  purchase  some  of  her  children. 
She  had  laid  up  three  hundred  dollars,  which  her 
mistress  one  day  begged  as  a  loan,  promising  to  pay 
her  soon.  The  reader  probably  knows  that  no  promise 
or  writing  given  to  a  slave  is  legally  binding ;  for, 
according  to  Southern  laws,  a  slave,  being  property, 
can  hold  no  property.  When  my  grandmother  lent 
her  hard  earnings  to  her  mistress,  she  trusted  solely 
to  her  honor.  The  honor  of  a  slaveholder  to  a  slave  ! 
To  this  good  grandmother  I  was  indebted  for  many 
comforts.  My  brother  "Willie  and  I  often  received 
portions  of  the  crackers,  cakes,  and  preserves,  she 
made  to  sell ;  and  after  we  ceased  to  be  children  wo 

2 


14       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

p 

were  indebted  to  her  for  many  more  important  ser 
vices. 

Such  were  the  unusually  fortunate  circumstances 
of  my  early  childhood.  When  I  was  six  years  old,  my 
mother  diect;  and  then,  for  the  first  time,  I  learned, 
by  the  talk  around  me,  that  I  was  a  slave.  My  mother's 
mistress  was  the  daughter  of  my  grandmother's  mis 
tress.  She  was  the  foster  sister  of  my  mother ;  they 
were  both  nourished  at  my  grandmother's  breast.  In 
fact,  my  mother  had  been  weaned  at  three  months 
old,  that  the  babe  of  the  mistress  might  obtain  suffi 
cient  food.  They  played  together  as  children  ;  and, 
when  they  became  women,  my  mother  was  a  most 
faithful  servant  to  her  whiter  foster  sister.  On  her 
death-bed  her  mistress  promised  that  her  children 
should  never  suffer  for  any  thing ;  and  during  her 
lifetime  she  kept  her  word.  They  all  spoke  kindly 
of  my  dead  mother,  who  had  been  a  slave  merely  in 
name,  but  in  nature  was  noble  and  womanly.  I 
grieved  for  her,  and  my  young  mind  was  troubled 
with  the  thought  who  would  now  take  care  of  me  and 
my  little  brother.  I  was  told  that  my  home  was  now 
to  be  with  her  mistress  ;  and  I  found  it  a  happy  one. 
No  toilsome  or  disagreeable  duties  were  imposed  upon 
me.  My  mistress  was  so  kind  to  me  that  I  was  always 
glad  to  do  her  bidding,  and  proud  to  labor  for  her  as 
much  as  my  young  years  would  permit.  I  would  sit 
by  her  side  for  hours,  sewing  diligently,  with  a  heart 
as  free  from  care  as  that  of  any  free-born  white  child. 
When  she  thought  I  was  tired,  she  would  send  me  out 
to  run  and  jump ;  and  away  I  bounded,  to  gather 
berries  or  flowers  to  decorate  her  room.  Those  were 


Childhood.  15 

happy  days  —  too  happy  to  last.  The  slave  child  had 
no  thought  for  the  morrow ;  but  there  came  that  blight, 
which  too  surely  waits  on  every  human  being  born  to 
be  a  chattel. 

When  I  was  nearly  twelve  years  old,  mj£  kind  mis 
tress  sickened  and  died.  As  I  saw  the  cheek  grow 
paler,  and  the  eye  more  glassy,  how  earnestly  I  prayed 
in  my  heart  that  she  might  live  !  I  loved  her ;  for  she 
had  been  almost  like  a  mother  to  me.  My  prayers 
were  not  answered.  She  died,  and  they  buried  her 
in  the  little  churchyard,  where,  day  after  day,  my  tears 
fell  upon  her  grave. 

I  was  sent  to  spend  a  week  with  my  grandmother. 
I  was  now  old  enough  to  begin  to  think  of  the  future ; 
and  again  and  again  I  asked  myself  what  they  would 
do  with  me.  I  felt  sure  I  should  never  find  another 
mistress  so  kind  as  the  one  who  was  gone.  She  had 
promised  my  dying  mother  that  her  children  should 
never  suffer  for  any  thing ;  and  when  I  remembered 
that,  and  recalled  her  many  proofs  of  attachment  to 
me,  I  could  not  help  having  some  hopes  that  she  had 
left  me  free.  My  friends  were  almost  certain  it  would 
be  so.  They  thought  she  would  be  sure  to  do  it,  on 
account  of  my  mother's  love  and  faithful  service. 
But,  alas  !  we  all  know  that  the  memory  of  a  faithful 
slave  does  not  avail  much  to  save  her  children  from 
the  auction  block. 

After  a  brief  period  of  suspense,  the  will  of  my 
mistress  was  read,  and  we  learned  that  she  had  be 
queathed  me  to  her  sister's  daughter,  a  child  of  five 
years  old.  So  vanished  our  hopes.  My  mistress  had 
taught  me  the  precepts  of  God's  Word  :  "  Thou  shalt 


16        Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

love  thy  neighbor  as  thyself."  "  Whatsoever  ye  would 
that  men  should  do  unto  you,  do  ye  even  so  unto 
them."  But  I  was  her  slave,  and  I  suppose  she  did 
not  recognize  me  as  her  neighbor.  I  would  give  much 
to  blot,  out*,  from  my  memory  that  one  great  wrong. 
As  a  child,  I  loved  my  mistress  ;  and,  looking  back  on 
the  happy  days  I  spent  with  her,  I  try  to  think  with 
less  bitterness  of  this  act  of  injustice.  While  I  was 
with  her,  she  taught  mo  to  read  and  spell ;  and  for 
this  privilege,  which  so  rarely  falls  to  the  lot  of  a 
slave,  I  bless  her  memory. 

She  possessed  but  few  slaves ;  and  at  her  death 
those  were  all  distributed  among  her  relatives.  Five 
of  them  were  my  grandmother's  children,  and  had 
shared  the  same  milk  that  nourished  her  mdther's 
children.  Notwithstanding  my  grandmother's  long 
and  faithful  service  to  her  owners,  not  one  of  her  chil 
dren  escaped  the  auction  block.  These  God-breathing 
machines  are  no  more,  in  the  sight  of  their  masters, 
than  the  cotton  they  plant,  or  the  horses  they  tend. 


The  New  Mafter  and  Miftress.  17 


.-  I 

THE  NEW  MASTER  AND  MISTRESS. 

DR.  FLINT,  a  physician  in  the  neighborhood,  had 
married  the  sister  of  my  mistress,  and  I  was  now  the 
property  of  their  little  daughter.  It  was  not  without 
murmuring  that  I  prepared  for  my  new  home ;  and 
what  added  to  my  unhappiness,  was  the  fact  that  my 
brother  William  was  purchased  by  the  same  family. 
My  father,  by  his  nature,  as  well  as  by  the  habit  of 
transacting  business  as  a  skilful  mechanic,  had  more 
of  the  feelings  of  a  freeman  than  is  common  among 
slaves.  My  brother  was  a  spirited  boy ;  and  being 
brought  up  under  such  influences,  he  early  detested 
the  name  of  master  and  mistress.  One  day,  when  his 
father  and  his  mistress  both  happened  to  call  him  at 
the  same  time,  he  hesitated  between  the  two;  being 
perplexed  to  know  which  had  the  strongest  claim  upon 
his  obedience.  He  finally  concluded  to  go  to  his  mis 
tress.  When  my  father  reproved  him  for  it,  he  said, 
"  Yoxi  both  called  me,  and  I  didn't  know  which  I 
ought  to  go  to  first." 

"  You  are  my  child,"  replied  our  father,  "  and  when 
I  call  you,  you  sbould  come  immediately,  if  you  have 
to  pass  through  fire  and  water." 

Poor  Willie!  He  was  now  to  learn  his  first  lesson 
of  obedience  to  a  master.  Grandmother  tried  to  cheer 
us  with  hopeful  words,  and  they  found  an  echo  in  the 
credulous  hearts  of  youth. 

When  we  entered  our  new  home  we  encountered 


l8      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

cold  looks,  cold  words,  and  cold  treatment.  We  were 
glad  when  the  night  came.  On  my  narrow  bed  I 
moaned  and  wept,  I  felt  so  desolate  and  alone. 

I  had  been  there  nearly  a  year,  when  a  dear  little 
friend  of  mine  was  buried.  I  heard  her  mother  sob, 
as  the  clods  fell  on  the  coffin  of  her  only  child,  and  I 
turned  away  from  the  grave,  feeling  thankful  that  I 
still  had  something  left  to  love.  I  met  my  grand 
mother,  who  said,  "  Come  with  me,  Linda;  "  and  from 
her  tone  I  knew  that  something  sad  had  happened. 
She  led  me  apart  from  the  people,  and  then  said,  "  My 
child,  your  father  is  dead."  Dead !  How  could  I 
believe  it?  He  had  died  so  suddenly  I  had  not 
even  heard  that  he  was  sick.  I  went  home  with  my 
grandmother.  My  heart  rebelled  against  God,  who 
had  taken  from  me  mother,  father,  mistress,  and 
friend.  The  good  grandmother  tried  to  comfort  me. 
""Who  knows  the  ways  of  God?"  said  she.  "Perhaps 
they  have  been  kindly  taken  from  the  evil  days  to 
come."  Years  afterwards  I  often  thought  of  this. 
She  promised  to  be  a  mother  to  her  grandchildren,  so 
far  as  she  might  be  permitted  to  do  so ;  and  strength 
ened  by  her  love,  I  returned  to  my  master's.  I  thought 
I  should  be  allowed  to  go  to  my  father's  house  the  next 
morning ;  but  I  was  ordered  to  go  for  flowers,  that  my 
mistress's  house  might  be  decorated  for  an  evening 
party.  I  spent  the  day  gathering  flowers  and  weaving 
them  into  festoons,  while  the  dead  body  of  my  father 
was  lying  within  a  mile  of  me.  What  cared  my 
owners  for  that  ?  he  was  merely  a  piece  of  property. 
Moreover,  they  thought  he  had  spoiled  his  children,  by 
teaching  them  to  feel  that  they  were  human  beings. 


The  New  Mafter  and  Miftress.  19 

This  was  blasphemous  doctrine  for  a  slave  to  teach ; 
presumptuous  in  him,  and  dangerous  to  the  masters. 

The  next  day  I  followed  his  remains  to  a  humble 
grave  beside  that  of  my  dear  mother.  There  were 
those  who  knew  my  father's  worth,  and  respected  his 
memory. 

My  home  now  seemed  more  dreary  than  ever.  The 
laugh  of  the  little  slave-children  sounded  harsh  and 
cruel.  It  was  selfish  to  feel  so  about  the  joy  of  others. 
My  brother  moved  about  with  a  very  grave  face.  I 
tried  to  comfort  him,  by  saying,  "  Take  courage, 
Willie ;  brighter  days  will  come  by  and  by." 

"  You  don't  know  any  thing  about  it,  Linda,"  he  re 
plied.  "  We  shall  have  to  stay  here  all  our  days ;  we 
shall  never  be  free." 

I  argued  that  we  were  growing  older  and  stronger, 
and  that  perhaps  we  might,  before  long,  be  allowed  to 
hire  our  own  time,  and  then  we  could  earn  money  to 
buy  our  freedom.  William  declared  this  was  much 
easier  to  say  than  to  do ;  moreover,  he  did  not  intend 
to  buy  his  freedom.  We  held  daily  controversies  upon 
this  subject. 

Little  attention  was  paid  to  the  slaves'  meals  in  Dr. 
Flint's  house.  If  they  could  catch  a  bit  of  food  while 
it  was  going,  well  and  good.  I  gave  myself  no  trouble 
on  that  score,  for  on  my  various  errands  I  passed  my 
grandmother's  house,  where  there  was  always  some 
thing  to  spare  for  me.  I  was  frequently  threatened 
with  punishment  if  I  stopped  there ;  and  my  grand 
mother,  to  avoid  detaining  me,  often  stood  at  the  gate 
with  something  for  my  breakfast  or  dinner.  I  was  in 
debted  to  her  for  all  my  comforts,  spiritual  or  temporal. 


20       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

It  was  her  labor  that  supplied  my  scanty  wardrobe.  I 
have  a  vivid  recollection  of  the  linsey-woolsey  dress 
given  me  every  winter  by  Mrs.  Flint.  How  I  hated  it! 
It  was  one  of  the  badges  of  slavery. 

While  niy  grandmother  was  thus  helping  to  support 
me  from  her  hard  earnings,  the  three  hundred  dollars 
she  had  lent  her  mistress  were  never  repaid.  When 
her  mistress  died,  her  son-in-law,  Dr.  Flint,  was  ap 
pointed  executor.  When  grandmother  applied  to  him 
for  payment,  he  said  the  estate  was  insolvent,  and  the 
law  prohibited  payment.  It  did  not,  however,  prohibit 
him  from  retaining  the  silver  candelabra,  which  had 
been  purchased  with  that  money.  I  presume  they 
will  be  handed  down  in  the  family,  from  generation 
to  generation. 

My  grandmother's  mistress  had  always  promised  her 
that,  at  her  death,  she  should  be  free ;  and  it  was  said 
that  in  her  will  she  made  good  the  promise.  But 
when  the  estate  was  settled,  Dr.  Flint  told  the  faithful 
old  servant  that,  under  existing  circumstances,  it  was 
necessary  she  should  be  sold. 

On  the  appointed  day,  the  customary  advertisement 
was  posted  up,  proclaiming  that  there  would  be  a 
"  public  sale  of  negroes,  horses,  &c."  Dr.  Flint  called 
to  tell  my  grandmother  that  he  was  unwilling  to 
wound  her  feelings  by  putting  her  up  at  auction,  and 
that  he  would  prefer  to  dispose  of  her  at  private  sale. 
My  grandmother  saw  through  his  hypocrisy ;  she  un 
derstood  very  well  that  he  was  ashamed  of  the  job. 
She  was  a  very  spirited  woman,  and  if  he  was  base 
enough  to  sell  her,  when  her  mistress  intended  she 
should  be  free,  she  was  determined  the  public  should 


The  New  Mafter  arid  Miftress.  21 

know  it.  She  had  for  a  long  time  supplied  many  fam 
ilies  with  crackers  and  preserves;  consequently,  "Aunt 
Marthy,"  as  she  was  called,  was  generally  known,  and 
every  body  who  knew  her  respected  her  intelligence 
and  good  character.  Her  long  and  faithful  service  in 
the  family  was  also  well  known,  and  the  intention  of 
her  mistress  to  leave  her  free.  When  the  day  of  sale 
came,  she  took  her  place  among  the  chattels,  and  at 
the  first  call  she  sprang  upon  the  auction-block.  Many 
voices  called  out,  "  Shame  !  Shame !  Who  is  going  to 
sell  you,  aunt  Marthy  ?  Don't  stand  there !  That  is  no 
place  for  T/OM."  Without  saying  a  word,  she  quietly 
awaited  her  fate.  No  one  bid  for  her.  At  last,  a  feeble 
voice  said,  "  Fifty  dollars."  It  came  from  a  maiden 
lady,  seventy  years  old,  the  sister  of  my  grandmother's 
deceased  mistress.  She  had  lived  forty  years  under 
the  same  roof  with  my  grandmother ;  she  knew  how 
faithfully  she  had  served  her  owners,  and  how  cruelly 
she  had  been  defrauded  of  her  rights ;  and  she  resolved 
to  protect  her.  The  auctioneer  waited  for  a  higher 
bid  ;  but  her  wishes  were  respected ;  no  one  bid  above 
her.  She  could  neither  read  nor  write ;  and  when  the 
bill  of  sale  was  made  out,  she  signed  it  with  a  cross. 
But  what  consequence  was  that,  when  she  had  a  big 
heart  overflowing  with  human  kindness  ?  She  gave  the 
old  servant  her  freedom. 

At  that  time,  my  grandmother  was  just  fifty  years 
old.  Laborious  years  had  passed  since  then ;  and  now 
my  brother  and  I  were  slaves  to  the  man  who  had 
defrauded  her  of  her  money,  and  tried  to  defraud 
her  of  her  freedom.  One  of  my  mother's  sisters, 
called  Aunt  Nancy,  was  also  a  slave  in  his  family. 
She  was  a  kind,  good  aunt  to  me ;  and  supplied  the 


22        Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

place  of  both  housekeeper  and  waiting  maid  to  her 
mistress.  She  was,  in  fact,  at  the  beginning  and  end 
of  every  thing. 

Mrs.  Flint,  like  many  southern  women,  was  totally 
deficient  in  energy.  She  had  not  strength  to  super 
intend  her  household  affairs ;  but  her  nerves  were  so 
strong,  that  she  could  sit  in  her  easy  chair  and  see  a 
woman  whipped,  till  the  blood  trickled  from  every 
stroke  of  the  lash.  She  was  a  member  of  the  church  ; 
but  partaking  of  the  Lord's  supper  did  not  seem 
to  put  her  in  a  Christian  frame  of  mind.  If  dinner 
was  not  served  at  the  exact  time  on  that  particular 
Sunday,  she  would  station  herself  in  the  kitchen,  and 
wait  till  it  was  dished,  and  then  spit  in  all  the  kettles 
and  pans  that  had  been  used  for  cooking.  She 
did  this  to  prevent  the  cook  and  her  children  from 
eking  out  their  meagre  fare  with  the  remains  of  the 
gravy  and  other  scrapings.  The  slaves  could  get 
nothing  to  eat  except  what  she  chose  to  give  them. 
Provisions  were  weighed  out  by  the  pound  and  ounce, 
three  times  a  day.  I  can  assure  you  she  gave  them 
no  chance  to  eat  wheat  bread  from  her  flour  barrel. 
She  knew  how  many  biscuits  a  quart  of  flour  would 
make,  and  exactly  what  size  they  ought  to  be. 

Dr.  Flint  was  an  epicure.  The  cook  never  sent  a 
dinner  to  his  table  without  fear  and  trembling  ;  for  if 
there  happened  to  be  a  dish  not  to  his  liking,  he  would 
either  order  her  to  be  whipped,  or  compel  her  to  eat 
every  mouthful  of  it  in  his  presence.  The  poor,  hun 
gry  creature  might  not  have  objected  to  eating  it ;  but 
she  did  object  to  having  her  master  cram  it  down  her 
throat  till  she  choked. 

They  had  a  pet  dog,  that  was  a  nuisance  in  the  house. 


The  New  Matter  and  Miftrefs.  23 

The  cook  was  ordered  to  make  some  Indian  nmsh  for 
him.  He  refused  to  eat,  and  when  his  head  was  held 
over  it,  the  froth  flowed  from  his  mouth  into  the  basin. 
He  died  a  few  minutes  after.  When  Dr.  Flint  came 
in,  he  said  the  mush  had  not  been  well  cooked,  and 
that  was  the  reason  the  animal  would  not  eat  it.  He 
sent  for  the  cook,  and  compelled  her  to  eat  it.  He 
thought  that  the  woman's  stomach  was  stronger  than 
the  dog's  ;  but  her  sufferings  afterwards  proved  that  he 
was  mistaken.  This  poor  woman  endured  many  cruel 
ties  from  her  master  and  mistress  ;  sometimes  she  was 
locked  up,  away  from  her  nursing  baby,  for  a  whole 
day  and  night.  j  ,.i>|-  -vj 

When  I  had  been  in  the  family  a  few  weeks,  one  of  the 
plantation  slaves  was  brought  to  town,  by  order  of  his 
master.  It  was  near  night  when  he  arrived,  and  Dr.  Flint 
ordered  him  to  be  taken  to  the  work  house,  and  tied  up 
to  the  joist,  so  that  his  feet  would  just  escape  the  ground. 
In  that  situation  he  was  to  wait  till  the  doctor  had  taken 
his  tea.  I  shall  never  forget  that  night.  Never  before, 
in  my  life,  had  I  heard  hundreds  of  blows  fall,  in  succes 
sion,  on  a  human  being.  His  piteous  groans,  and  his 
"0,  pray  don't,  massa,"  rang  in  my  ear  for  months 
afterwards.  There  were  many  conjectures  as  to  the 
cause  of  this  terrible  punishment.  Some  said  master 
accused  him  of  stealing  corn ;  others  said  the  slave  had 
quarrelled  with  his  wife,  in  presence  of  the  overseer,  and 
had  accused  his  master  of  being  the  father  of  her  child. 
They  were  both  black,  and  the  child  was  very  fair. 

I  went  into  the  work  house  next  morning,  and  saw 
the  cowhide  still  wet  with  blood,  and  the  boards  all 
covered  with  gore.  The  poor  man  lived,  and  con 
tinued  to  quarrel  with  his  wife.  A  few  months  after- 


24        Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Gir. 

wards  Dr.  Flint  handed  them  both  over  to  a  slave- 
trader.  The  guilty  man  put  their  value  into  his 
pocket,  and  had  the  satisfaction  of  knowing  that  they 
were  out  of  sight  and  hearing.  When  the  mother  was 
delivered  into  the  trader's  hands,  she  said,  "  You 
promised  to  treat  me  well."  To  which  he  replied, 
"  You  have  let  your  tongue  run  too  far ;  damn  you ! " 
She  had  forgotten  that  it  was  a  crime  for  a  slave  to 
tell  who  was  the  father  of  her  child. 

From  others  than  the  master  persecution  also  comes 
in  such  cases.  I  once  saw  a  young  slave  girl  dying 
soon  after  the  birth  of  a  child  nearly  white.  In  her 
agony  she  cried  out,  "  0  Lord,  come  and  take  me !  " 
Her  mistress  stood  by,  and  mocked  at  her  like  an 
incarnate  fiend.  "  You  suffer,  do  you  ?  "  she  ex 
claimed.  "  I  am  glad  of  it.  You  deserve  it  all,  and 
more  too." 

The  girl's  mother  said,  "  The  baby  is  dead,  thank 
God ;  and  I  hope  my  poor  child  will  soon  be  in 
heaven,  too." 

"  Heaven  !  "  retorted  the  mistress.  "  There  is  no 
such  place  for  the  like  of  her  and  her  bastard." 

The  poor  mother  turned  away,  sobbing.  Her  dying 
daughter  called  her,  feebly,  and  as  she  bent  over  her, 
I  heard  her  say, "  Don't  grieve  so,  mother ;  God  knows 
all  about  it ;  and  HE  will  have  mercy  upon  me." 

Her  sufferings,  afterwards,  became  so  intense,  that 
her  mistress  felt  unable  to  stay ;  but  when  she  left 
the  room,  the  scornful  smile  was  still  on  her  lips.  Seven 
children  called  her  mother.  The  poor  black  woman 
had  but  -the  one  child,  whose  eyes  she  saw  closing  in 
death,  while  she  thanked  God  for  taking  her  away 
from  the  greater  bitterness  of  life. 


D 


The  Slaves'  New  Year's  Day.  25 

III. 
THE  SLAVES'  NEW  YEAR'S  DAY. 

DR.  FLINT  owned  a  fine  residence  in  town,  several 
farms,  and  about  fifty  slaves,  besides  hiring. ja,  number 
by  the  year. 

Hiring-day  at  the  south  takes  place  on  the  1st  of 
January.  On  the  2d,  the  slaves  are  expected  to  go  to 
their  new  masters.  On  a  farm,  they  work  until  the 
corn  and  cotton  are  laid.  They  then  have  two  holi 
days.  Some  masters  give  them  a  good  dinner  under 
the  trees.  This  over,  they  work  until  Christmas 
eve.  If  no  heavy  charges  are^ncantime  brought 
against  them,  they  are  given  four  or  five  holidays, 
whichever  the  master  or  overseer  may  think  proper. 
Then  comes  New  Year's  eve ;  and  they  gather  together 
their  little  alls,  or  more  properly  speaking,  their  little 
nothings,  and  wait  anxiously  for  the  dawning  of  day. 
At  the  appointed  hour  the  grounds  are  thronged  with 
men,  women,  and  children,  waiting,  like  criminals,  to 
hear  their  doom  pronounced.  The  slave  is  sure  to 
know  who  is  the  most  humane,  or  cruel  master,  within 
forty  miles  of  him. 

It  is  easy  to  find  out,  on  that  day,  who  clothes  and 
feeds  his  slaves  well ;  for  he  is  surrounded  by  a  crowd, 
begging,  "  Please,  massa,  hire  me  this  year.  I  will 
work  very  hard,  massa." 

If  a  slave  is  unwilling  to  go  with  his  new  master, 
he  is  whipped,  or  locked  up  in  jail,  until  he  consents 
to  go,  and  promises  not  to  run  away  during  the  year. 

3 


26      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

Should  he  chance  to  change  his  mind,  thinking  it  jus 
tifiable  to  violate  an  extorted  promise,  woe  unto  him  if 
he  is  caught !  The  whip  is  used  till  the  blood  flows  at 
his  feet ;  and  his  stiffened  limbs  are  put  in  chains,  to 
be  dragged  in  the  field  for  days  and  days ! 

If  he  lives  until  the  next  year,  perhaps  the  same 
man  will  hire  him  again,  without  even  giving  him  an 
opportunity  of  going  to  the  hiring-ground.  After  those 
for  hire  are  disposed  of,  those  for  sale  are  called  up. 

O,  yoii  happy  free  women,  contrast  your  New 
Year's  day  with  that  of  the  poor  bond-woman  !  With 
you  it  is  a  pleasant  season,  and  the  light  of  the  day  is 
blessed.  Friendly  wishes  meet  you  every  where,  and 
gifts  are  showered  upon  you.  Even  hearts  that  have 
been,  estranged  from  you  soften  at  this  season,  and 
lips  that  have  been  silent  echo  back,  "  I  wish  you  a 
happy  New  Year."  Children  bring  their  little  offer 
ings,  and  raise  their  rosy  lips  for  a  caress.  They  are 
your  own,  and  no  hand  but  that  of  death  can  take 
them  from  you. 

But  to  the  slave  mother  New  Year's  day  comes 
laden  with  peculiar  sorrows.  She  sits  on  her  cold 
cabin  floor,  watching  the  children  who  may  all  be 
torn  from  her  the  next  morning ;  and  often  does  she 
wish  that  she  and  they  might  die  before  the  day  dawns. 
She  may  be  an  ignorant  creature,  degraded  by  the 
system  that  has  brutalized  her  from  childhood ;  but 
she  has  a  mother's  instincts,  and  is  capable  of  feeling 
a  mother's  agonies. 

On  one  of  these  sale  days,  I  saw  a  mother  lead  seven 
children  to  the  auction-block.  She  knew  that  some  of 
them  would  be  taken  from  her ;  but  they  took  all.  The 


The  Slaves'  New  Year's  Day.  27 

children  were  sold  to  a  slave-trader,  and  their  mother 
was  bought  by  a  man  in  her  own  town.  Before  night 
her  children  were  all  far  away.  She  begged  the  trader 
to  tell  her  where  he  intended  to  take  them  ;  this  he 
refused  to  do.  How  could  he,  when  he  knew  he  would 
sell  them,  one  by  one,  wherever  he  could  command  the 
highest  price  ?  I  met  that  mother  in  the  street,  and 
her  wild,  haggard  face  lives  to-day  in  iny  mind.  She 
wrung  her  hands  in  anguish,  and  exclaimed,  "  Gone ! 
All  gone!  Why  don't  God  kill  me?"  I  had  no 
words  wherewith  to  comfort  her.  Instances  of  this 
kind  are  of  daily,  yea,  of  hourly  occurrence. 

Slaveholders  have  a  method,  peculiar  to  their  insti 
tution,  of  getting  rid  of  old  slaves,  whose  lives  have 
been  worn  out  in  their  service.  I  knew  an  old  woman, 
who  for  seventy  years  faithfully  served  her  master. 
She  had  become  almost  helpless,  from  hard  labor  and 
disease.  Her  owners  moved  to  Alabama,  and  the  old 
black  woman  was  left  to  be  sold  to  any  body  who 
would  give  twenty  dollars  for  her. 


28      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


THE    SLAVE    WHO   DARED    TO   FEEL   LIKE 
A   MAN. 

Two  years  had  passed  since  I  entered  Dr.  Flint's 
family,  and  those  years  had  brought  much  of  the 
knowledge  that  comes  from  experience,  though  they 
had  afforded  little  opportunity  for  any  other  kinds  of 
knowledge. 

My  grandmother  had,  as  much  as  possible,  been  a 
mother  to  her  orphan  grandchildren.  By  perse 
verance  and  unwearied  industry,  she  was  now  mistress 
of  a  snug  little  home,  surrounded  with  the  necessaries 
of  .life.  She  would  have  been  happy  could  her  chil 
dren  have  shared  them  with  her.  There  remained  but 
three  children  and  two  grandchildren,  all  slaves. 
Most  earnestly  did  she  strive  to  make  us  feel  that  it 
was  the  will  of  God  :  that  He  had  seen  fit  to  place  us 
under  such  circumstances  ;  and  though  it  seemed  hard, 
we  ought  to  pray  for  contentment. 

It  was  a  beautiful  faith,  coming  from  a  mother  who 
could  not  call  her  children  her  own.  But  I,  and  Ben 
jamin,  her  youngest  boy,  condemned  it.  We  reasoned 
that  it  was  much  more  the  will  of  God  that  we  should 
be  situated  as  she  was.  We  longed  for  a  home  like 
hers.  There  we  always  found  sweet  balsam  for  our 
troubles.  She  was  so  loving,  so  sympathizing !  She 
always  met  us  with  a  smile,  and  listened  with  patience 
to  all  our  sorrows.  She  spoke  so  hopefully,  that  un- 


The  Slave  who  Dared  to  Feel  like  a  Man.  29 

consciously  the  clouds  gave  place  to  sunshine.  There 
was  a  grand  big  oven  there,  too,  that  baked  bread  and 
nice  things  for  the  town,  and  we  knew  there  was  al 
ways  a  choice  bit  in  store  for  us. 

But,  alas !  even  the  charms  of  the  old  oven  failed  to 

•< 

reconcile  us  to  our  hard  lot.  Benjamin  was  now  a 
tall,  handsome  lad,  strongly  and  gracefully  made,  and 
with  a  spirit  too  bold  and  daring  for  a  slave.  My 
brother  William,  now  twelve  years  old,  had  the  same 
aversion  to  the  word  master  that  he  had  when  he  was 
an  urchin  of  seven  years.  I  was  his  confidant.  He 
came  to  me  with  all  his  troubles.  I  remember  one 
instance  in  particular.  It  was  on  a  lovely  spring 
morning,  and  when  I  marked  the  sunlight  dancing 
here  and  there,  its  beauty  seemed  to  mock  my  sadness. 
For  my  master,  whose  restless,  craving,  vicious  nature 
roved  about  day  and  night,  seeking  whom  to  devour, 
had  just  left  me,  with  stinging,  scorching  words ; 
words  that  scathed  ear  and  brain  like  fire.  0,  how  I 
despised  him !  I  thought  how  glad  I  should  be,  if 
some  day  when  he  walked  the  earth,  it  would  open 
and  swallow  him  up,  and  disencumber  the  world  of  a 
plague. 

When  he  told  me  that  I  was  made  for  his  use,  made 
to  obey  his  command  in  every  thing ;  that  I  was  noth 
ing  but  a  slave,  whose  will  must  and  should  surrender 
to  his,  never  before  had  my  puny  arm  felt  half  so 
strong. 

So  deeply  was  I  absorbed  in  painful  reflections  after 
wards,  that  I  neither  saw  nor  heard  the  entrance  of 
any  one,  till  the  voice  of  William  sounded  close  beside 
me.  "  Linda,"  said  he,  "  what  makes  you  look  so  sad  ? 

3* 


30       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

I  love  you.  0,  Linda,  isn't  this  a  bad  world?  Every 
body  seenis  so  cross  and  unhappy.  I  wish  I  had  died 
when  poor  father  did." 

I  told  him  that  every  body  was  not  cross,  or  un 
happy  ;  that  those  who  had  pleasant  homes,  and  kind 
friends,  and  who  were  not  afraid  to  love  them,  were 
happy.  But  we,  who  were  slave-children,  without 
father  or  mother,  could  not  expect  to  be  happy.  We 
must  be  good ;  perhaps  that  would  bring  us  content 
ment. 

"  Yes,"  he  said,  "  I  try  to  be  good  ;  but  what's  the 
use  ?  They  are  all  the  time  troubling  me."  Then  he 
proceeded  to  relate  his  afternoon's  difficulty  with 
young  master  Nicholas.  It  seemed  that  the  brother 
of  master  Nicholas  had  pleased  himself  with  making 
up  stories  about  William.  Master  Nicholas  said  he 
should  be  flogged,  and  he  would  do  it.  Whereupon 
he  went  to  work ;  but  William  fought  bravely,  and  the 
young  master,  finding  he  was  getting  the  better  of  him, 
undertook  to  tie  his  hands  behind  him.  He  failed  in 
that  likewise.  By  dint  of  kicking  and  listing,  William 
came  out  of  the  skirmish  none  the  worse  for  a  few 
scratches. 

He  continued  to  discourse  on  his  young  master's 
meanness ;  how  he  whipped  the  little  boys,  but  was  a 
perfect  coward  when  a  tussle  ensued  between  him  and 
white  boys  of  his  own  size.  On  such  occasions  he 
always  took  to  his  legs.  William  had  other  charges  to 
make  against  him.  One  was  his  rubbing  up  pennies 
with  quicksilver,  and  passing  them  off  for  quarters  of  a 
dollar  on  an  old  man  who  kept  a  fruit  stall.  William 
was  often  sent  to  buy  fruit,  and  he  earnestly  inquired 


The  Slave  who  Dared  to  Feel  like  a  Man.   31 

of  me  what  ho  ought  to  do  under  such  circumstances. 
I  told  him  it  was  certainly  wrong  to  deceive  the  old 
man,  and  that  it  was  his  duty  to  tell  him  of  the  imposi 
tions  practised  by  his  young  master.  I  assured  him  tho 
old  man  would  not  be  slow  to  comprehend  the  whole, 
and  there  the  matter  would  end.  William  thought  it 
might  with  the  old  man,  but  not  with  him.  He  said 
he  did  not  mind  the  smart  of  the  whip,  but  he  did  not 
like  the  idea  of  being  whipped. 

While  I  advised  him  to  be  good  and  forgiving  I  was 
not  unconscious  of  the  beam  in  my  own  eye.  It  was 
the  very  knowledge  of  my  own  shortcomings  that 
urged  me  to  retain,  if  possible,  some  sparks  of  my 
brother's  God-given  nature.  I  had  not  lived  fourteen 
years  in  slavery  for  nothing.  I  had  felt,  seen,  and 
heard  enough,  to  read  the  characters,  and  question  the 
motives,  of  those  around  me.  The  war  of  my  life  had 
begun  ;  and  though  one  of  God's  most  powerless  crea 
tures,  I  resolved  never  to  be  conquered.  Alas,  for 


me 


If  there  was  one  pure,  sunny  spot  for  me,  I  believed 
it  to  be  in  Benjamin's  heart,  and  in  another's,  whom  I 
loved  with  all  the  ardor  of  a  girl's  first  love.  My 
owner  knew  of  it,  and  sought  in  every  way  to  render 
me  miserable.  He  did  not  resort  to  corporal  punish 
ment,  but  to  all  the  petty,  tyrannical  ways  that  human 
ingenuity  could  devise. 

I  remember  the  first  time  I  was  punished.  It  was 
in  the  month  of  February.  My  grandmother  had 
taken  my  old  shoes,  and  replaced  them  with  a  new 
pair.  I  needed  them ;  for  several  inches  of  snow  had 
fallen,  and  it  still  continued  to  fall.  When  I  walked 


32       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

through  Mrs.  Flint's  room,  their  creaking  grated 
harshly  on  her  refined  nerves.  She  called  me  to  her, 
and  asked  what  I  had  about  me  that  made  such  a 
horrid  noise.  I  told  her  it  was  my  new  shoes.  "  Take 
them  off,"  said  she  ;  "  and  if  you  put  them  on  again, 
I'll  throw  them  into  the  fire." 

I  took  them  off,  and  my  stockings  also.  She  then 
sent  me  a  long  distance,  on  an  errand.  As  I  went 
through  the  snow,  my  bare  feet  tingled.  That  night  I 
was  very  hoarse  ;  and  I  went  to  bed  thinking  the  next 
day  would  find  me  sick,  perhaps  dead.  What  was 
my  grief  on  waking  to  find  myself  quite  well ! 

I  had  imagined  if  I  died,  or  was  laid  up  for  some 
time,  that  my  mistress  would  feel  a  twinge  of  remorse 
that  she  had  so  hated  "  the  little  imp,"  as  she  styled 
me.  It  was  my  ignorance  of  that  mistress  that  gave 
rise  to  such  extravagant  imaginings. 

Dr.  Flint  occasionally  had  high  prices  offered  for 
me  ;  but  he  always  said, "  She  don't  belong  to  me.  She 
is  my  daughter's  property,  and  I  have  no  right  to  sell 
her."  Good,  honest  man  !  My  young  mistress  was 
still  a  child,  and  I  could  look  for  no  protection  from 
her.  I  loved  her,  and  she  returned  my  affection.  I 
once  heard  her  father  allude  to  her  attachment  to  me ; 
and  his  wife  promptly  replied  that  it  proceeded  from 
fear.  This  put  unpleasant  doubts  into  my  mind.  Did 
the  child  feign  what  she  did  not  feel  ?  or  was  her 
mother  jealous  of  the  mite  of  love  she  bestowed  on 
me  ?  I  concluded  it  must  be  the  latter.  I  said  to 
myself,  "  Surely,  little  children  are  true." 

One  afternoon  I  sat  at  my  sewing,  feeling  unusual 
depression  of  spirits.  My  mistress  had  been  accusing 


The  Slave  who  Dared  to  Feel  like  a  Man.  33 

me  of  an  offence,  of  which  I  assured  her  I  was  per 
fectly  innocent ;  but  I  saw,  by  the  contemptuous  curl 
of  her  lip,  that  she  believed  I  was  telling  a  lie. 

I  wondered  for  what  wise  purpose  God  was  leading 
me  through  such  thorny  paths,  and  whether  still 
darker  days  were  in  store  for  me.  As  I  sat  musing 
thus,  the  door  opened  softly,  and  William  came  in. 
"  Well,  brother,"  said  I,  "  what  is  the  matter  this 
time  ?  " 

"  0  Linda,  Ben  and  his  master  have  had  a  dread 
ful  time  !  "  said  he. 

My  first  thought  was  that  Benjamin  was  killed. 
"  Don't  be  frightened,  Linda,"  said  William  ;  "  I  will 
tell  you  all  about  it." 

It  appeared  that  Benjamin's  master  had  sent  for 
him,  and  he  did  not  immediately  obey  the  summons. 
When  he  did,  his  master  was  angry,  and  began  to 
whip  him.  He  resisted.  Master  and  slave  fought, 
and  finally  the  master  was  thrown.  Benjamin  had 
cause  to  tremble ;  for  he  had  thrown  to  the  ground  his 
master  —  one  of  the  richest  men  in  town.  I  anxiously 
awaited  the  result. 

That  night  I  stole  to  my  grandmother's  house,  and 
Benjamin  also  stole  thither  from  his  master's.  My 
grandmother  had  gone  to  spend  a  day  or  two  with  an 
old  friend  living  in  the  country. 

"  I  have  come,"  said  Benjamin,  "  to  tell  you  good 
by.  I  am  going  away." 

I  inquired  where. 

"  To  the  north,"  he  replied. 

I  looked  at  him  to  see  whether  he  was  in  earnest.  I 
saw  it  all  in  his  firm,  set  mouth.  I  implored  him  not 


34       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

to  go,  but  he  paid  no  heed  to  my  words.  He  said  he 
was  no  longer  a  boy,  and  every  day  made  his  yoke 
more  galling.  He  had  raised  his  hand  against  his 
master,  and  was  to  be  publicly  whipped  for  the  offence. 
I  reminded  him  of  the  poverty  and  hardships  he  must 
encounter  among  strangers.  I  told  him  he  might  be 
caught  and  brought  back;  and  that  was  terrible  to 
think  of. 

He  grew  vexed,  and  asked  if  poverty  and  hardships 
with  freedom,  were  not  preferable  to  our  treatment  in 
slavery.  "  Linda,"  he  continued,  "  we  are  dogs  here  ; 
foot-balls,  cattle,  every  thing  that's  mean.  No,  I  will 
not  stay.  Let  them  bring  me  back.  We  don't  die 
but  once." 

He  was  right ;  but  it  was  hard  to  give  him  up. 
"  Go,"  said  I,  "  and  break  your  mother's  heart." 

I  repented  of  my  words  ere  they  were  out. 

"  Linda,"  said  he,  speaking  as  I  had  not  heard  him 
speak  that  evening,  "  how  could  you  say  that  ?  Poor 
mother  !  be  kind  to  her,  Linda  ;  and  you,  too,  cousin 
Fanny." 

Cousin  Fanny  was  a  friend  who  had  lived  some 
years  with  us. 

Farewells  were  exchanged,  and  the  bright,  kind  boy, 
endeared  to  us  by  so  many  acts  of  love,  vanished  from 
our  sight. 

It  is  not  necessary  to  state  how  he  made  his  escape. 
Suffice  it  to  say,  he  was  on  his  way  to  New  York  when 
a  violent  storm  overtook  the  vessel.  The  captain  said 
he  must  put  into  the  nearest  port.  This  alarmed  Ben 
jamin,  who  was  aware  that  he  would  be  advertised  in 
every  port  near  his  own  town.  His  embarrassment  was 


The  Slave  who  Dared  to  Feel  like  a  Man.    35 

noticed  by  the  captain.  To  port  they  went.  There 
the  advertisement  met  the  captain's  eye.  Benjamin  so 
exactly  answered  its  description,  that  the  captain  laid 
hold  on  him,  and  bound  him  in  chains.  The  storm 
passed,  and  they  proceeded  to  New  York.  Before 
reaching  that  port  Benjamin  managed  to  get  off  his 
chains  and  throw  them  overboard.  He  escaped  from 
the  vessel,  but  was  pursued,  captured,  and  carried  back 
to  his  master. 

When  my  grandmother  returned  home  and  found 
her  youngest  child  had  fled,  great  was  her  sorrow; 
but,  with  characteristic  piety,  she  said,  "  God's  will  be 
done."  Each  morning,  she  inquired  if  any  news  had 
been  heard  from  her  boy.  Yes,  news  was  heard.  The 
master  was  rejoicing  over  a  letter,  announcing  the  cap 
ture  of  his  human  chattel. 

That  day  seems  but  as  yesterday,  so  well  do  I  re 
member  it.  I  saw  him  led  through  the  streets  in 
chains,  to  jail.  His  face  was  ghastly  pale,  yet  full  of 
determination.  He  had  begged  one  of  tho  sailors  to 
go  to  his  mother's  house  and  ask  her  not  to  meet  him. 
He  said  the  sight  of  her  distress  would  take  from  him 
all  self-control.  She  yearned  to  see  him,  and  she  went ; 
but  she  screened  herself  in  the  crowd,  that  it  might  be 
as  her  child  had  said. 

We  were  not  allowed  to  visit  him ;  but  "we  had 
known  the  jailer  for  years,  and  he  was  a  kind-hearted 
man.  At  midnight  he  opened  the  jail  door  for  my 
grandmother  and  myself  to  enter,  in  disguise.  When 
we  entered  the  cell  not  a  sound  broke  the  stillness. 
"  Benjamin,  Benjamin  !  "  whispered  my  grandmother. 
No  answer.  "  Benjamin!  "  she  again  faltered.  There 


36       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

was  a  jingle  of  chains.  The  moon  had  just  risen,  and 
cast  an  uncertain  light  through  the  bars  of  the  win 
dow.  We  knelt  down  and  took  Benjamin's  cold  hands 
in  ours.  We  did  not  speak.  Sobs  were  heard,  and 
Benjamin's  lips  were  unsealed;  for  his  mother  was 
weeping  on  his  neck.  How  vividly  does  memory 
bring  back  that  sad  night!  Mother  and  son  talked 
together.  He  asked  her  pardon  for  the  suffering  he  had 
caused  her.  She  said  she  had  nothing  to  forgive ;  she 
could  not  blame  his  desire  for  freedom.  He  told  her  that 
when  he  was  captured,  he  broke  away,  and  was  about 
casting  himself  into  the  river,  when  thoughts  of  her 
came  over  him,  and  he  desisted.  She  asked  if  he  did 
not  also  think  of  God.  I  fancied  I  saw  his  face  grow 
fierce  in  the  moonlight.  He  answered,  "  No,  I  did  not 
think  of  him.  When  a  man  is  hunted  like  a  wild 
beast  he  forgets  there  is  a  God,  a  heaven.  He  forgets 
every  thing  in  his  struggle  to  get  beyond  the  reach  of 
the  bloodhounds." 

"  Don't  talk  so,  Benjamin,"  said  she.  "  Put  your 
trust  in  God.  Be  humble,  my  child,  and  your  master 
will  forgive  you." 

"Forgive  me  for  what,  mother?  For  not  letting 
him  treat  me  Kke  a  dog  ?  No !  I  will  never  humble 
myself  to  him.  I  have  worked  for  him  for  nothing 
all  my  life,  and  I  am  repaid  with  stripes  and  imprison 
ment.  Here  I  will  stay  till  I  die,  or  till  he  sells  me." 

The  poor  mother  shuddered  at  his  words.  I  think 
he  felt  it;  for  when  he  next  spoke,  his  voice  was 
calmer.  "  Don't  fret  aboiit  me,  mother.  I  ain't  worth 
it,"  said  he.  "  I  wish  I  had  some  of  your  goodness. 
You  bear  every  thing  patiently,  just  as  though  you 
thought  it  was  all  right.  I  wish  I  could." 


The  Slave  who  Dared  to  Feel  like  a  Man.    37 

She  told  him  she  had  not  always  been  so ;  once,  she 
was  like  him  ;  but  when  sore  troubles  came  upon  her, 
and  she  had  no  arm  to  lean  upon,  she  learned  to  call 
on  God,  and  he  lightened  her  burdens.  She  besought 
him  to  do  likewise. 

We  ovcrstaid  our  time,  and  were  obliged  to  hurry 
from  the  jail. 

Benjamin  had  been  imprisoned  three  weeks,  when 
my  grandmother  went  to  intercede  for  him  with  his 
master.  He  was  immovable.  He  said  Benjamin  should 
serve  as  an  example  to  the  rest  of  his  slaves  ;  he  should 
be  kept  in  jail  till  he  was  subdued,  or  be  sold  if  he 
got  but  one  dollar  for  him.  However,  he  afterwards 
relented  in  some  degree.  The  chains  were  taken  off, 
and  we  were  allowed  to  visit  him. 

As  his  food  was  of  the  coarsest  kind,  we  carried 
him  as  often  as  possible  a  warm  supper,  accompanied 
with  some  little  luxury  for  the  jailer. 

Three  months  elapsed,  and  there  was  no  prospect  of 
release  or  of  a  purchaser.  One  day  he  was  heard  to 
sing  and  laugh.  This  piece  of  indecorum  was  told  to 
his  master,  and  the  overseer  was  ordered  to  re-chain 
him.  He  was  now  confined  in  an  apartment  with 
other  prisoners,  who  were  covered  with  filthy  rags. 
Benjamin  was  chained  near  them,  and  was  soon  covered 
with  vermin.  He  worked  at  his  chains  till  he  suc 
ceeded  in  getting  out  of  them.  He  passed  them  through 
the  bars  of  the  window,  with  a  request  that  they 
should  be  taken  to  his  master,  and  he  should  be  in 
formed  that  he  was  covered  with  vermin. 

This  audacity  was  punished  with  heavier  chains,  and 
prohibition  of  our  visits. 

4 

9 


38       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

My  grandmother  continued  to  send  him  fresh 
changes  of  clothes.  The  old  ones  were  burned  up. 
The  last  night  we  saw  him  in  jail  his  mother  still 
begged  him  to  send  for  his  master,  and  beg  his  pardon. 
Neither  persuasion  nor  argument  could  turn  hin  from 
his  purpose.  He  calmly  answered,  "  I  am  waiting  his 
time." 

Those  chains  were  mournful  to  hear. 

Another  three  months  passed,  and  Benjamin  left  his 
prison  walls.  We  that  loved  him  waited  to  bid  him  a 
long  and  last  farewell.  A  slave  trader  had  bought 
him.  You  remember,  I  told  you  what  price  he 
brought  when  ten  years  of  age.  Now  he  was  more 
than  twenty  years  old,  and  sold  for  three  hundred  dol 
lars.  The  master  had  been  blind  to  his  own  interest. 
Long  confinement  had  made  his  face  too  pale,  his 
form  too  thin ;  moreover,  the  trader  had  heard  some 
thing  of  his  character,  and  it  did  not  strike  him  as 
suitable  for  a  slave.  He  said  he  would  give  any  price 
if  the  handsome  lad  was  a  girl.  We  thanked  God 
that  he  was  not. 

Could  you  have  seen  that  mother  clinging  to  her 
child,  when  they  fastened  the  irons  upon  his  wrists ; 
could  you  have  heard  her  heart-rending  groans,  and 
seen  her  bloodshot  eyes  wander  wildly  from  face  to 
face,  vainly  pleading  for  mercy ;  could  you  have  wit 
nessed  that  scene  as  I  saw  it,  you  would  exclaim, 
Slavery  is  damnable  ! 

Benjamin,  her  youngest,  her  pet,  was  forever  gone  ! 
She  could  not  realize  it.     She  had  had  an  interview 
with  the  trader  for  the  purpose  of  ascertaining  if 
Benjamin  could  be  purchased.     She  was  told  it  was 


The  Slave  wfco  Dared  to  Feel  like  a  Man.    39 

impossible,  as  he  had  given  bonds  not  to  sell  him  till 
he  was  out  of  the  state.  He  promised  that  he  would 
not  sell  him  till  he  reached  New  Orleans. 

With  a  strong  arm  and  unvaried  trust,  my  grand 
mother  began  her  work  of  love.  Benjamin  must  be  free. 
If  she  succeeded,  she  knew  they  would  still  be  sepa 
rated  ;  but  the  sacrifice  was  not  too  great.  Day  and 
night  she  labored.  The  trader's  price  would  treble 
that  he  gave ;  but  she  was  not  discouraged. 

She  employed  a  lawyer  to  write  to  a  gentleman, 
whom  she  knew,  in  New  Orleans.  She  begged  him  to 
interest  himself  for  Benjamin,  and  he  willingly  favored 
her  request.  When  he  saw  Benjamin,  and  stated  his 
business,  he  thanked  him;  but  said  he  preferred  to 
wait  a  while  before  making  the  trader  an  offer.  He 
knew  he  had  tried  to  obtain  a  high  price  for  him,  and 
had  invariably  failed.  This  encouraged  him  to  make 
another  effort  for  freedom.  So  one  morning,  long  be 
fore  day,  Benjamin  was  missing.  He  was  riding  over 
the  blue  billows,  bound  for  Baltimore. 

For  once  his  white  face  did  him  a  kindly  service. 
They  had  no  suspicion  that  it  belonged  to  a  slave; 
otherwise,  the  law  would  have  been  followed  out  to 
the  letter,  and  the  thing-  rendered  back  to  slavery. 
The  brightest  skies  are  often  overshadowed  by  the  dark 
est  clouds.  Benjamin  was  taken  sick,  and  compelled 
to  remain  in  Baltimore  three  weeks.  His  strength 
was  slow  in  returning ;  and  his  desire  to  continue  his 
journey  seemed  to  retard  his  recovery.  How  could  he 
get  strength  without  air  and  exercise  ?  He  resolved 
to  venture  on  a  short  walk.  A  by-street  was  selected, 
where  he  thought  himself  secure  of  not  being  met  by 


4<D       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Srlave  Girl. 

any  one  that  knew  him ;    but  a  voice   called   out, 
"  Halloo,  Ben,  my  boy !  what  are  you  doing  here  ?  " 

His  first  impulse  was  to  run ;  but  his  legs  trembled 
so  that  he  could  not  stir.  He  turned  to  confront  his 
antagonist,  and  behold,  there  stood  his  old  master's 
next  door  neighbor !  He  thought  it  was  all  over  with 
him  now ;  but  it  proved  otherwise.  That  man  was  a 
miracle.  He  possessed  a  goodly  number  of  slaves, 
and  yet  was  not  quite  deaf  to  that  mystic  clock,  whose 
ticking  is  rarely  heard  in  the  slaveholder's  breast. 

"  Ben,  you  are  sick,"  said  he.  "  Why,  you  look  like 
a  ghost.  I  guess  I  gave  you  something  of  a  start. 
Never  mind,  Ben,  I  am  not  going  to  touch  you.  You 
had  a  pretty  tough  time  of  it,  and  you  may  go  on 
your  way  rejoicing  for  all  me.  But  I  would  advise 
you  to  get  out  of  this  place  plaguy  quick,  for  there 
are  several  gentlemen  here  from  our  town."  He  de 
scribed  the  nearest  and  safest  route  to  New  York,  and 
added,  "  I  shall  be  glad  to  tell  your  mother  I  have 
seen  you.  Good  by,  Ben." 

Benjamin  turned  away,  filled  with  gratitude,  and 
surprised  that  the  town  he  hated  contained  such  a 
gem  —  a  gem  worthy  of  a  purer  setting. 

This  gentleman  was  a  Northerner  by  birth,  and  had 
married  a  southern  lady.  On  his  return,  he  told  my 
grandmother  that  he  had  seen  her  son,  and  of  the  ser 
vice  he  had  rendered  him. 

Benjamin  reached  New  York  safely,  and  concluded 
to  stop  there  until  he  had  gained  strength  enough  to 
proceed  further.  It  happened  that  my  grandmother's 
only  remaining  son  had  sailed  for  the  same  city  oir 
business  for  his  mistress.  Through  God's  providence, 


The  Slave  who  Dared  to  Feel  like  a  Man.    41 

the  brothers  met.  You  may  bo  suro  it  was  a  happy 
meeting.  "  0  Phil,"  exclaimed  Benjamin,  "  I  am  here 
at  last."  Then  he  told  him  how  near  he  came  to 
dying,  almost  in  sight  of  free  land,  and  how  he  prayed 
that  he  might  live  to  get  one  breath  of  free  air.  He 
said  life  was  worth  something  now,  and  it  would 
be  ifard  to  die.  In  the  old  jail  he  had  not  valued  it ; 
once,  he  was  tempted  to  destroy  it ;  but  something, 
he  did  not  know  what,  had  prevented  him ;  perhaps  it 
was  fear.  He  had  heard  those  who  profess  to  be  re 
ligious  declare  there  was  no  heaven  for  self-murderers ; 
and  as  his  life  had  been  pretty  hot  here,  he  did  not  de 
sire  a  continuation  of  the  same  in  another  world.  "  If 
I  die  now,"  he  exclaimed,  "  thank  God,  I  shall  die  a 
freeman !  " 

He  begged  my  uncle  Phillip  not  to  return  south ;  but 
stay  and  work  with  him,  till  they  earned  enough  to 
buy  those  at  home.  His  brother  told  him  it  would 
kill  their  mother  if  he  deserted  her  in  her  trouble. 
She  had  pledged  her  house,  and  with  difficulty  had 
raised  money  to  buy  him.  Would  he  be  bought  ? 

"  No,  never !  "  he  replied.  "  Do  you  suppose,  Phil, 
when  I  have  got  so  far  out  of  their  clutches,  I  will 
give  them  one  red  cent  ?  No !  And  do  you  suppose 
I  would  turn  mother  out  of  her  home  in  her  old  age  ? 
That  I  would  let  her  pay  all  those  hard-earned  dollars 
for  me,  and  never  to  see  me  ?  For  you  know  she  will 
stay  south  as  long  as  her  other  children  are  slaves. 
What  a  good  mother !  Tell  her  to  buy  you,  Phil.  You 
have  been  a  comfort  to  her,  and  I  have  been  a  trouble. 
And  Linda,  poor  Linda  ;  what'll  become  of  her  ?  Phil, 
you  don't  know  what  a  life  they  lead  her.  She  has  told 

4*  * 


42       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

me  something  about  it,  and  I  wish  old  Flint  was  dead, 
or  a  better  man.  When  I  was  in  jail,  he  asked  her  if 
she  didn't  want  him  to  ask  my  master  to  forgive  me, 
and  take  me  home  again.  She  told  him,  No ;  that 
I  didn't  want  to  go  back.  He  got  mad,  and  said  we 
were  all  alike.  I  never  despised  my  own  master  half 
as  much  as  I  do  that  man.  There  is  many  a  worse 
slaveholder  than  my  master ;  but  for  all  that  I  would 
not  be  his  slave." 

While  Benjamin  was  sick,  he  had  parted  with  nearly 
all  his  clothes  to  pay  necessary  expenses.  But  he  did 
not  part  with  a  little  pin  I  fastened  in  his  bosom  when 
we  parted.  It  was  the  most  valuable  thing  I  owned, 
and  I  thought  none  more  worthy  to  wear  it.  He 
had  it  still. 

His  brother  furnished  him  with  clothes,  and  gave 
him  what  money  he  had. 

They  parted  with  moistened  eyes ;  and  as  Benjamin 
turned  away,  he  said,  "  Phil,  I  part  with  all  my  kin 
dred."  And  so  it  proved.  We  never  heard  from  him 
again. 

Uncle  Phillip  came  home ;  and  the  first  words  he 
uttered  when  he  entered  the  house  were,  "  Mother, 
Ben  is  free !  I  have  seen  him  in  New  York."  She 
stood  looking  at  him  with  a  bewildered  air.  "  Mother, 
don't  you  believe  it  ?  "  he  said,  laying  his  hand  softly 
upon  her  shoulder.  She  raised  her  hands,  and  ex 
claimed,  "  God  be  praised !  Let  us  thank  him."  She 
dropped  on  her  knees,  and  poured  forth  her  heart  in 
prayer.  Then  Phillip  must  sit  down  and  repeat  to  her 
every  word  Benjamin  had  said.  He  told  her  all ;  only 
he  forbore  to  mention  how  sick  and  pale  her  darling 


The  Slave  who  Dared  to  Feel  like  a  Man.    43 

looked.     Why  should  he  distress  her  when  she  could 
do  him  no  good  ? 

The  brave  old  woman  still  toiled  on,  hoping  to  res 
cue  some  of  her  other  children.  After  a  while  she 
succeeded  in  buying  Phillip.  She  paid  eight  hundred 
dollars,  and  came  home  with  the  precious  document 
that  secured  his  freedom.  The  happy  mother  and  son 
sat  together  by  the  old  hearthstone  that  night,  telling 
how  proud  they  were  of  each  other,  and  how  they 
would  prove  to  the  world  that  they  could  take  care  of 
themselves,  as  they  had  long  taken  care  of  others.  We 
all  concluded  by  saying,  "  He  that  is  willing-  to  be  a 
slave,  let  him  be  a  slave." 


44       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


V. 

THE  TRIALS   OF   GIRLHOOD. 

DURING  the  first  years  of  my  service  in  Dr.  Flint's 
family,  I  was  accustomed  to  share  some  indulgences 
with  the  children  of  my  mistress.  Though  this  seemed 
to  me  no  more  than  right,  I  was  grateful  for  it,  and 
tried  to  merit  the  kindness  by  the  faithful  discharge 
of  my  duties.  But  I  now  entered  on  my  fifteenth 
year  —  a  sad  epoch  in  the  life  of  a  slave  girl.  My 
master  began  to  whisper  foul  words  in  my  ear.  Young 
as  I  was,  I  could  not  remain  ignorant  of  their  import. 
I  tried  to  treat  them  with  indifference  or  contempt. 
The  master's  age,  my  extreme  youth,  and  the  fear  that 
his  conduct  would  be  reported  to  my  grandmother, 
made  him  bear  this  treatment  for  many  months.  He 
was  a  crafty  man,  and  resorted  to  many  means  to 
accomplish  his  purposes.  Sometimes  he  had  stormy, 
terrific  ways,  that  made  his  victims  tremble  ;  some 
times  he  assumed  a  gentleness  that  he  thought  must 
surely  subdue.  Of  the  two,  I  preferred  his  stormy 
moods,  although  they  left  me  trembling.  He  tried  his 
utmost  to  corrupt  the  pure  principles  my  grandmother 
had  instilled.  He  peopled  my  young  mind  with  un 
clean  images,  such  as  only  a  vile  monster  could  think 
of.  I  turned  from  him  with  disgust  and  hatred.  But 
he  was  my  master.  I  was  compelled  to  live  under  the 
same  roof  with  him  —  where  I  saw  a  man  forty  years 
my  senior  daily  violating  the  most  sacred  command- 


The  Trials  of  Girlhood.  45 

raents  of  nature.  He  told  me  I  was  his  property ; 
that  I  must  be  subject  to  his  will  in  all  things.  My 
soul  revolted  against  the  mean  tyranny.  But  where 
could  I  turn  for  protection  ?  No  matter  whether  the 
slave  girl  be  as  black  as  ebony  or  as  fair  as  her  mis 
tress.  In  either  case,  there  is  no  shadow  of  law  to 
protect  her  from  insult,  from  violence,  or  even  from 
death  ;  all  these  are  inflicted  by  fiends  who  bear  the 
shape  of  men.  The  mistress,  who  ought  to  protect 
the  helpless  victim,  has  no  other  feelings  towards  her 
but  those  of  jealousy  and  rage.  The  degradation,  the 
wrongs,  the  vices,  that  grow  out  of  slavery,  are  more 
than  I  can  describe.  They  are  greater  than  you  would 
willingly  believe.  Surely,  if  you  credited  one  half  the 
truths  that  are  told  you  concerning  the  helpless  mil 
lions  suffering  in  this  cruel  bondage,  you  at  the  north 
would  not  help  to  tighten  the  yoke.  You  surely  would 
refuse  to  do  for  the  master,  on  your  own  soil,  the  mean 
and  cruel  work  which  trained  bloodhounds  and  the 
lowest  class  of  whites  do  for  him  at  the  south. 

Every  where  the  years  bring  to  all  enough  of  sin 
and  sorrow ;  but  in  slavery  the  very  dawn  of  life  is 
darkened  by  these  shadows.  Even  the  little  child, 
who  is  accustomed  to  wait  on  her  mistress  and  her 
children,  will  learn,  before  she  is  twelve  years  old, 
why  it  is  that  her  mistress  hates  such  and  such  a  one 
among  the  slaves.  Perhaps  the  child's  own  mother 
is  among  those  hated  ones.  She  listens  to  violent 
outbreaks  of  jealous  passion,  and  cannot  help  under 
standing  what  is  the  cause.  She  will  become  prema 
turely  knowing  in  evil  things.  Soon  she  will  learn  to 
tremble  when  she  hears  her  master's  footfall.  She 


46        Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

will  be  compelled  to  realize  that  she  is  no  longer  a 
child.  If  God  has  bestowed  beauty  upon  her,  it  will 
prove  her  greatest  curse.  That  which  commands  ad 
miration  in  the  white  woman  only  hastens  the  degra 
dation  of  the  female  slave.  I  know  that  some  are  too 
much  brutalized  by  slavery  to  feel  the  humiliation  of 
their  position  ;  but  many  slaves  feel  it  most  acutely, 
and  shrink  from  the  memory  of  it.  I  cannot  tell  how 
much  I  suffered  in  the  presence  of  these  wrongs,  nor 
how  I  am  still  pained  by  the  retrospect.  My  master 
met  me  at  every  turn,  reminding  me  that  I  belonged 
to  him,  and  swearing  by  heaven  and  earth  that  he 
would  compel  me  to  submit  to  him.  If  I  went  out  for 
a  breath  of  fresh  air,  after  a  day  of  unwearied  toil,  his 
footsteps  dogged  me.  If  I  knelt  by  my  mother's  grave, 
his  dark  shadow  fell  on  me  even  there.  The  light 
heart  which  nature  had  given  me  became  heavy  with 
sad  forebodings.  The  other  slaves  in  my  master's 
house  noticed  the  change.  Many  of  them  pitied  me ; 
but  none  dared  to  ask  the  cause.  They  had  no  need 
to  inquire.  They  knew  too  well  the  guilty  practices 
under  that  roof ;  and  they  were  aware  that  to  speak 
of  them  was  an  offence  that  never  went  unpunished. 

I  longed  for  some  one  to  confide  in.  I  would  have 
given  the  world  to  have  laid  my  head  on  my  grand 
mother's  faithful  bosom,  and  told  her  all  my  troubles. 
But  Dr.  Flint  swore  he  would  kill  me,  if  I  was  not  as 
silent  as  the  grave.  Then,  although  my  grandmother 
was  all  iii  all  to  me,  I  feared  her  as  well  as  loved  her. 
I  had  been  accustomed  to  look  up  to  her  with  a  re 
spect  bordering  upon  awe.  I  was  very  young,  and 
felt  shamefaced  about  telling  her  such  impure  things, 


The  Tr?als  of  Girlhood.  47 

especially  as  I  knew  her  to  be  very  strict  on  such  sub 
jects.  Moreover,  she  was  a  woman  of  a  high  spirit. 
She  was  usually  very  quiet  in  her  demeanor  ;  but  if 
her  indignation  was  once  roused,  it  was  not  very 
easily  quelled.  I  had  been  told  that  she  once  chased 
a  white  gentleman  with  a  loaded  pistol,  because  he 
insulted  one  of  her  daughters.  I  dreaded  the  conse 
quences  of  a  violent  outbreak  ;  and  both  pride  and 
fear  kept  me  silent.  But  though  I  did  not  confide  in 
my  grandmother,  and  even  evaded  her  vigilant  watch 
fulness  and  inquiry,  her  presence  in  the  neighborhood 
was  some  protection  to  me.  Though  she  had  been 
slave,  Dr.  Flint  was  afraid  of  her.  He  dreaded  hei 
scorching  rebukes.  Moreover,  she  was  known  and 
patronized  by  many  people  ;  and  he  did  not  wish  to 
have  his  villany  made  public.  It  was  lucky  for  me 
that  I  did  not  live  on  a  distant  plantation,  but  in  a 
town  not  so  large  that  the  inhabitants  were  ignorant 
of  each  other's  affairs.  Bad  as  are  the  laws  and  cus 
toms  in  a  slaveholding  community,  the  doctor,  as  a 
professional  man,  deemed  it  prudent  to  keep  up  some 
outward  show  of  decency. 

0,  what  days  and  nights  of  fear  and  sorrow  that 
man  caused  me  !  Reader,  it  is  not  to  awaken  sym 
pathy  for  myself  that  I  am  telling  you  truthfully  what 
I  suffered  in  slavery.  I  do  it  to  kindle  a  flame  of 
compassion  in  your  hearts  for  my  sisters  who  are  still 
in  bondage,  suffering  as  I  once  suffered. 

I  once  saw  two  beautiful  children  playing  together. 
One  was  a  fair  white  child  ;  the  other  was  her  slave, 
and  also  her  sister.  When  I  saw  them  embracing 
each  other,  and  heard  their  joyous  laughter,  I  turned 


:: 


48       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

sadly  away  from  the  lovely  sight.  I  foresaw  the  inev 
itable  blight  that  would  fall  on  the  little  slave's  heart. 
I  knew  how  soon,  her  laughter  would  be  changed  to 
sighs.  The  fair  child  grew  up  to  be  a  still  fairer 
woman.  From  childhood  to  womanhood  her  pathway 
was  blooming  with  flowers,  and  overarched  by  a  sunny 
sky.  Scarcely  one  day  of  her  life  had  been  clouded 
when  the  sun  rose  on  her  happy  bridal  morning. 

How  had  those  years  dealt  with  her  slave  sister,  the 
little  playmate  of  her  childhood  ?  She,  also,  was  very 
beautiful ;  but  the  flowers  and  sunshine  of  love  were 
ot  for  her.  She  drank  the  cup  of  sin,  and  shame, 
and  misery,  whereof  her  persecuted  race  are  com 
pelled  to  drink. 

In  view  of  these  things,  why  are  ye  silent,  ye  free 
men  and  women  of  the  north  ?  Why  do  your  tongues 
falter  in  maintenance  of  the  right  ?  Would  that  I  had 
more  ability !  But  my  heart  is  so  full,  and  my  pen  is 
so  weak !  There  are  noble  men  and  women  who 
plead  for  us,  striving  to  help  those  who  cannot  help 
themselves.  God  bless  them  !  God  give  them  strength 
and  courage  to  go  on  !  God  bless  those,  every  where, 
who  are  laboring  to  advance  the  cause  of  humanity ! 


The  Jealous  Miftrefs.  49 


VI. 

THE  JEALOUS  MISTKESS. 

I  WOULD  ten  thousand  times  rather  that  my  children 
should  be  the  half-starved  paupers  of  Ireland  than  to 
be  the  most  pampered  among  the  slaves  of  America. 
I  would  rather  drudge  out  my  life  on  a  cotton  planta 
tion,  till  the  grave  opened  to  give  me  rest,  than  to  live 
with  an  unprincipled  master  and  a  jealous 
The  felon's  home  in  a  penitentiary  is  preferable. 
may  repent,  and  turn  from  the  error  of  his  ways,  and 
so  find  peace ;  but  it  is  not  so  with  a  favorite  slave. 
She  is  not  allowed  to  have  any  pride  of  character.  It 
is  deemed  a  crime  in  her  to  wish  to  be  virtuous. 

Mrs.  Flint  possessed  the  key  to  her  husband's  char 
acter  before  I  was  born.  She  might  have  used  this 
knowledge  to  counsel  and  to  screen  the  young  and  the 
innocent  among  her  slaves  ;  but  for  them  she  had  no 
sympathy.  They  were  the  objects  of  her  constant  sus 
picion  and  malevolence.  She  watched  her  husband 
with  unceasing  vigilance ;  but  he  was  well  practised  in 
means  to  evade  it.  What  he  could  not  find  opportu 
nity  to  say  in  words  he  manifested  in  signs.  He  in 
vented  more  than  were  ever  thought  of  in  a  deaf  and 
dumb  asylum.  I  let  them  pass,  as  if  I  did  not  under 
stand  what  he  meant ;  and  many  were  the  curses  and 
threats  bestowed  on  me  for  my  stupidity.  One  day  he 
caught  me  teaching  myself  to  write.  He  frowned,  as 
if  he  was  not  well  pleased  ;  but  I  suppose  he  came  to 

5 


5*0      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

the  conclusion  that  such  an  accomplishment  might 
help  to  advance  his  favorite  scheme.  Before  long, 
notes  were  often  slipped  into  my  hand.  I  would  re 
turn  them,  saying,  "  I  can't  read  them,  sir."  "  Can't 
you?  "  he  replied  ;  "  then  I  must  read  them  to  you." 
He  always  finished  the  reading  by  asking,  "Do  you 
understand?"  Sometimes  he  would  complain  of  the 
heat  of  the  tea  room,  and  order  his  supper  to  be  placed 
on  a  small  table  in  the  piazza.  He  would  seat  himself 
there  with  a  well-satisfied  smile,  and  tell  me  to  stand 
by  and  brush  away  the  flies.  He  would  eat  very 
llowly,  pausing  between  the  mouthfuls.  These  inter- 
als  were  employed  in  describing  the  happiness  I  was 
so  foolishly  throwing  away,  and  in  threatening  me 
with  the  -penalty  that  finally  awaited  my  stubborn  dis 
obedience.  He  boasted  much  of  the  forbearance  he 
had  exercised  towards  me,  and  reminded  me  that  there 
was  a  limit  to  his  patience.  When  I  succeeded  in 
avoiding  opportunities  for  him  to  talk  to  me  at  home, 
I  was  ordered  to  come  to  his  office,  to  do  some  errand. 
When  there,  I  was  obliged  to  stand  and  listen  to  such 
language  as  he  saw  fit  to  address  to  me.  Sometimes 
I  so  openly  expressed  my  contempt  for  him  that  he 
would  become  violently  enraged,  and  I  wondered  why 
he  did  not  strike  me.  Circumstanced  as  he  was,  he 
probably  thought  it  was  better  policy  to  be  forbearing. 
But  the  state  of  things  grew  worse  and  worse  daily. 
In  desperation  I  told  him  that  I  must  and  would  apply 
to  my  grandmother  for  protection.  He  threatened  me 
with  death,  and  worse  than  death,  if  I  made  any  com 
plaint  to  her.  Strange  to  say,  I  did  not  despair.  I 
was  naturally  of  a  buoyant  disposition,  and  always  I 


The  Jealous  Mistrefs.  51 

had  a  hope  of  somehow  getting  out  of  his  clutches. 
Like  many  a  poor,  simple  slave  before  me,  I  trusted 
that  some  threads  of  joy  would  yet  be  woven  into  my 
dark  destiny. 

I  had  entered  my  sixteenth  year,  and  every  day  it 
became  more  apparent  that  my  presence  was  intoler 
able  to  Mrs.  Flint.  Angry  words  frequently  passed 
between  her  and  her  husband.  He  had  never  punished 
me  himself,  and  he  would  not  allow  any  body  else  to 
punish  me.  In  that  respect,  she  was  never  satisfied ; 
but,  in  her  angry  moods,  no  terms  were  too  vile  for  her 
to  bestow  upon  me.  Yet  I,  whom  she  detested  so 
bitterly,  had  far  more  pity  for  her  than  he  had,  whose 
duty  it  was  to  make  her  life  happy.  I  never  wronged 
her,  or  wished  to  wrong  her ;  and  one  word  of  kind 
ness  from  her  would  have  brought  me  to  her  feet. 

After  repeated  quarrels  between  the  doctor  and  his 
wife,  he  announced  his  intention  to  take  his  youngest 
daughter,  then  four  years  old,  to  sleep  in  his  apart 
ment.  It  was  necessary  that  a  servant  should  sleep  in 
the  same  room,  to  be  on  hand  if  the  child  stirred.  I 
was  selected  for  that  office,  and  informed  for  what 
purpose  that  arrangement  had  been  made.  By  man 
aging  to  keep  within  sight  of  people,  as  much  as  pos 
sible,  during  the  day  time,  I  had  hitherto  succeeded  in 
eluding  my  master,  though  a  razor  was  often  held  to 
uiy  throat  to  force  me  to  change  this  line  of  policy. 
At  night  I  slept  by  the  sicte  of  my  great  aunt,  where  I 
felt  safe.  He  was  too  prudent  to  come  into  her  room. 
She  was  an  old  woman,  and  had  been  in  the  family 
many  years.  Moreover,  as  a  married  man,  and  a  pro 
fessional  man,  he  deemed  it  necessary  to  save  appear- 


52       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

ances  in  some  degree.  But  he  resolved  to  remove  the 
obstacle  in  the  way  of  his  scheme  ;  and  he  thought  he 
had  planned  it  so  that  he  should  evade  suspicion.  He 
was  well  aware  how  much  I  prized  my  refuge  hy  the 
side  of  my  old  aunt,  and  he  determined  to  dispossess 
me  of  it.  The  first  night  the  doctor  had  the  little 
child  in  his  room  alone.  The  next  morning,  I  was 
ordered  to  take  my  station  as  mirse  the  following 
night.  A  kind  Providence  interposed  in  my  favor. 
During  the  day  Mrs.  Flint  heard  of  this  new  arrange 
ment,  and  a  storm  followed.  I  rejoiced  to  hear  it 
rage. 

After  a  while  my  mistress  sent  for  me  to  come  to 
her  room.  Her  first  question  was,  "  Did  you  know 
you  were  to  sleep  in  the  doctor's  room  ?  " 

"  Yes,  ma'am." 

"  Who  told  you  ?  " 

"  My  master." 

"  Will  you  answer  truly  all  the  questions  I  ask  ?  " 

"  Yes,  ma'am." 

"  Tell  me,  then,  as  you  hope  to  be  forgiven,  are  you 
innocent  of  what  I  have  accused  you  ?  " 

"  I  am." 

She  handed  me  a  Bible,  and  said,  "  Lay  your  hand 
on  your  heart,  kiss  this  holy  book,  and  swear  before 
God  that  you  tell  me  the  truth."  * 

I  took  the  oath  she  required,  and  I  did  it  with  a 
clear  conscience. 

"  You  have  taken  God's  holy  word  to  testify  your 
innocence,'''  said  she.  "  If  you  have  deceived  me,  be 
ware  !  Now  take  this  stool,  sit  down,  look  me  directly 
in  the  face,  and  tell  me  all  that  has  passed  between 
your  master  and  you." 


The  Jealous  Mistrefs.  53 

I  did  as  she  ordered.     As  I  went  on  with  my  ac 
count   her  color  changed   frequently,  she  wept,  and 
sometimes  groaned.     She  spoke  in  tones  so  sad,  that  I 
was  touched  by  her  grief.     The  tears   came   to   my 
eyes  ;   but  I  was  soon   convinced  that  her  emotions 
arose  from  anger  and  wounded  pride.     She  felt  that  / 
her  marriage  vows  were  desecrated,  her  dignity  in-  I 
suited  ;  but  she  had  no  compassion  for  the  poor  vie-   v 
tim  of  her  husband's  perfidy.     She  pitied   herself  as 
a  martyr;  but  she  was  incapable  of  feeling  for  the 
condition  of  shame  and  misery  in  which  her  unfor-  I 
tunate,  helpless  slave  was  placed. 

Yet  perhaps  she  had  some  touch  of  feeling  for  me ; 
for  when  the  conference  was  ended,  she  spoke  kindly, 
and  promised  to  protect  me.  I  should  have  been 
much  comforted  by  this  assurance  if  I  could  have  had 
confidence  in  it ;  but  my  experiences  in  slavery  had 
filled  me  with  distrust.  She  was  not  a  very  refined 
woman,  and  had  not  much  control  over  her  passions. 
I  was  an  object  of  her  jealousy,  and,  consequently,  of 
her  hatred  ;  and  I  knew  I  could  not  expect  kindness 
or  confidence  from  her  under  the  circumstances  in. 
which  I  was  placed.  I  could  not  blame  her.  Slave 
holders'  wives  feel  as  other  women  would  under  sim 
ilar  circumstances.  The  fire  of  her  temper  kindled 
from  small  sparks,  and  now  the  flame  became  so  in 
tense  that  the  doctor  was  obliged  to  give  up  his 
intended  arrangement.  ^ 

I  knew  I  had  ignited  the  torch,  and  I  expected  to 
suffer  for  it  afterwards ;  but  I  felt  too  thankful  to  my 
mistress  for  the  timely  aid  she  rendered  me  to  care 
much  about  that.  She  now  took  me  to  sleep  in  a 

5* 


54      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

room  adjoining  her  own.  There  I  was  an  object  of 
her  especial  care,  though  not  of  her  especial  comfort, 
for  she  spent  many  a  sleepless  night  to  watch  over 
me.  Sometimes  I  woke  up,  and  found  her  bending 
over  me.  At  other  times  she  whispered  in  my  ear,  as 
though  it  was  her  husband  who  was  speaking  to  me, 
and  listened  to  hear  what  I  would  answer.  If  she 
startled  me,  on  such  occasions,  she  would  glide  stealth 
ily  away ;  and  the  next  morning  she  would  tell  me  I 
had  been  talking  in  my  sleep,  and  ask  who  I  was  talk 
ing  to.  At  last,  I  began  to  be  fearful  for  my  life.  It 
had  been  often  threatened ;  and  you  can  imagine,  bet 
ter  than  I  can  describe,  what  an  unpleasant  sensation 
it  must  produce  to  wake  up  in  the  dead  of  night  and 
find  a  jealous  woman  bending  over  you.  Terrible  as 
this  experience  was,  I  had  fears  that  it  would  give 
place  to  one  more  terrible. 

My  mistress  grew  weary  of  her  vigils  ;  they  did  not 
prove  satisfactory.  She  changed  her  tactics.  She 
now  tried  the  trick  of  accusing  my  master  of  crime, 
in  my  presence,  and  gave  my  name  as  the  author  of 
the  accusation.  To  my  utter  astonishment,  he  replied, 
"  I  don't  believe  it ;  but  if  she  did  acknowledge  it,  you 
tortured  her  into  exposing  me."  Tortured  into  expos 
ing  him !  Truly,  Satan  had  no  difficulty  in  distin 
guishing  the  color  of  his  soul !  I  imderstood  his 
object  in  making  this  false  representation.  It  was  to 
show  me  that  I  gained  noting  by  seeking  the  protec 
tion  of  my  mistress ;  that  the  power  was  still  all  in  his 
own  hands.  I  pitied  Mrs.  Flint.  She  was  a  second 
wife,  many  years  the  junior  of  her  husband ;  and  the 
hoary-headed  miscreant  was  enough  to  try  the  patience 


The  Jealous  Mistrefs.  55* 

of  a  wiser  and  better  woman.  She  was  completely 
foiled,  and  knew  not  how  to  proceed.  She  would 
gladly  have  had  me  flogged  for  my  supposed  false 
oath  ;  but,  as  I  have  already  stated,  the  doctor  never 
allowed  any  one  to  whip  me.  The  old  sinner  was 
politic.  The  application  of  the  lash  might  have  led  to 
remarks  that  would  have  exposed  him  in  the  eyes  of 
his  children  and  grandchildren.  How  often  did  I  re 
joice  that  I  lived  in  a  town  where  all  the  inhabitants 
knew  each  other !  If  I  had  been  on  a  remote  planta 
tion,  or  lost  among  the  multitude  of  a  crowded  city,  I 
should  not  be  a  living  woman  at  this  day. 

The  secrets  of  slavery  are  concealed  like  those  of 
the  Inquisition.  My  master  was,  to  my  knowledge, 
the  father  of  eleven  slaves.  But  did  the  mothers  dare 
to  tell  who  was  the  father  of  their  children  ?  Did  the 
other  slaves  dare  to  allude  to  it,  except  in  whispers 
among  themselves  ?  No,  indeed  !  They  knew  too 
well  the  terrible  consequences. 

My  grandmother  could  not  avoid  seeing  things 
which  excited  her  suspicions.  She  was  uneasy  about 
me,  and  tried  various  ways  to  buy  me ;  but  the  never- 
changing  answer  was  always  repeated :  "  Linda  does 
not  belong  to  me.  She  is  my  daughter's  property,  and 
I  have  no  legal  right  to  sell  her."  The  conscientious 
man  !  He  was  too  scrupulous  to  sell  me  ;  but  he  had 
no  scruples  whatever  about  committing  a  much  greater 
wrong  against  the  helpless  young  girl  placed  under  his 
guardianship-,  as  his  daughter's  property.  Sometimes 
my  persecutor  would  ask  me  whether  I  would  like  to 
be  sold.  I  told  him  I  would  rather  be  sold  to  any 
body  than  to  lead  such  a  life  as  I  did.  On  such  occa- 


56        Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

sions  he  would  assume  the  air  of  a  very  injured 
individual,  and  reproach  me  for  my  ingratitude. 
"  Did  I  not  take  you  into  the  house,  and  make  you 
the  companion  of  my  own  children  ?  "  he  would  say. 
"  Have  I  ever  treated  you  like  a  negro  ?  I  have  never 
allowed  you  to  be  punished,  not  even  to  please  your 
mistress.  And  this  is  the  recompense  I  get,  you  un 
grateful  girl !  "  I  answered  that  he  had  reasons  of  his 
own  for  screening  me  from  punishment,  and  that  the 
course  he  pursued  made  my  mistress  hate  me  and  per 
secute  me.  If  I  wept,  he  would  say,  "  Poor  child ! 
Don't  cry  !  don't  cry  !  I  will  make  peace  for  you  with 
your  mistress.  Only  let  me  arrange  matters  in  my 
own  way.  Poor,  foolish  girl !  you  don't  know  what  is 
for  your  own  good.  I  would  cherish  you.  I  would 
make  a  lady  of  you.  Now  go,  and  think  of  all  I  have 
promised  you." 

I  did  think  of  it. 

Reader,  I  draw  no  imaginary  pictures  of  southern 
homes.  *  I  am  telling  you  the  plain  truth.  Yet  when 
victims  make  their  escape  from  this  wild  beast  of 
Slavery,  northerners  consent  to  act  the  part  of  blood 
hounds,  and  hunt  the  poor  fugitive  back  into  his  den, 
"  full  of  dead  men's  bones,  and  all  uncleanness." 
Nay,  more,  they  are  not  only  willing,  but  proud,  to 
give  their  daughters  in  marriage  to  slaveholders.  The 
poor  girls  have  romantic  notions  of  a  sunny  clime,  and 
of  the  flowering  vines  that  all  the  year  round  shade  a 
happy  home.  To  what  disappointments  are  they  des 
tined  !  The  young  wife  soon  learns  that  the  husband 
in  whose  hands  she  has  placed  her  happiness  pays  no 
regard  to  his  marriage  vows.  Children  of  every  shade 


The  Jealous  Mistrefs.  57 

of  complexion  play  with  her  own  fair  babies,  and  too 
well  she  knows  that  they  are  born  unto  him  of  his  own 
household.  Jealousy  and  hatred  enter  the  flowery 
home,  and  it  is  ravaged  of  its  loveliness. 

Southern  women  often  marry  a  man  knowing  that 
he  is  the  father  of  many  little  slaves.  They  do  not 
trouble  themselves  about  it.  They  regard  such  chil 
dren  as  property,  as  marketable  as  the  pigs  on  the 
plantation ;  and  it  is  seldom  that  they  do  not  make 
them  aware  of  this  by  passing  them  into  the  slave- 
trader's  hands  as  soon  as  possible,  and  thus  getting 
them  out  of  their  sight.  I  am  glad  to  say  there  are 
some  honorable  exceptions. 

I  have  myself  known  two  southern  wives  who  ex 
horted  their  husbands  to  free  those  slaves  towards 
whom  they  stood  in  a  "  parental  relation  ;  "  and  their 
request  was  granted.  These  husbands  blushed  before 
the  superior  nobleness  of  their  wives'  natures.  Though 
they  had  only  counselled  them  to  do  that  which  it  was 
their  duty  to  do,  it  commanded  their  respect,  and  ren 
dered  their  conduct  more  exemplary.  Concealment 
was  at  an  end,  and  confidence  took  the  place  of  dis 
trust. 

Though  this  bad  institution  deadens  the  moral  sense, 
even  in  white  women,  to  a  fearful  extent,  it  is  not  alto 
gether  extinct.  I  have  heard  southern  ladies  say  of 
Mr.  Such  a  one,  "  He  not  only  thinks  it  no  disgrace 
to  be  the  father  of  those  little  niggers,  but  he  is  not 
ashamed  to  call  himself  their  master.  I  declare,  such 
things  ought  not  to  be  tolerated  in  any  decent  so 
ciety  !  " 


58        Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


VII. 

THE    LOVER. 

WHY  does  the  slave  ever  love  ?  Why  allow  the  ten 
drils  of  the  heart  to  twine  around  objects  which  may 
at  any  moment  be  wrenched  away  by  the  hand  of  vio 
lence  ?  When  separations  come  by  the  hand  of  death, 
the  pious  soul  can  bow  in  resignation,  and  say,  "  Not 
my  will,  but  thine  be  done,  0  Lord !  "  But  when  the 
ruthless  hand  of  man  strikes  the  blow,  regardless  of 
the  misery  he  causes,  it  is  hard  to  be  submissive.  I 
did  not  reason  thus  when  I  was  a  young  girl.  Youth 
will  be  youth.  I  loved,  and  I  indulged  the  hope  that 
the  dark  clouds  around  me  would  turn  out  a  bright 
lining.  I  forgot  that  in  the  land  of  my  birth  the 
shadows  are  too  dense  for  light  to  penetrate.  A  land 

"  "Where  laughter  is  not  mirth ;  nor  thought  the  mind ; 
Nor  words  a  language ;  nor  e'en  men  mankind. 
Where  cries  reply  to  curses,  shrieks  to  blows, 
And  each  is  tortured  in  his  separate  hell." 

There  was  in  the  neighborhood  a  young  colored  car 
penter  ;  a  free  born  man.  We  had  been  well  ac 
quainted  in  childhood,  and  frequently  met  together 
afterwards.  We  became  mutually  attached,  and  he 
proposed  to  marry  me.  I  loved  him  with  all  the  ardor 
of  a  young  girl's  first  love.  But  when  I  reflected  that 
I  was  a  slave,  and  that  the  laws  gave  no  sanction  to 
the  marriage  of  such,  my  heart  sank  within  me.  My 
lover  wanted  to  buy  me ;  but  I  knew  that  Dr.  Flint 


The  Lover.  59 

was  too  wilful  and  arbitrary  a  man  to  consent  to  tfiat 
arrangement.  From  him,  I  was  sure  of  experiencing 
all  sorts  of  opposition,  and  I  had  nothing  to  hope 
from  my  mistress.  She  would  have  been  delighted  to 
have  got  rid  of  me,  but  not  in  that  way.  It  would 
have  relieved  her  mind  of  a  burden  if  she  could  have 
seen  me  sold  to  some  distant  state,  but  if  I  was  married 
near  home  I  should  be  just  as  much  in  her  husband's 
power  as  I  had  previously  been,  —  for  the  husband  of  a 
slave  has  no  power  to  protect  her.  Moreover,  my  mis 
tress,  like  many  others,  seemed  to  think  that  slaves  had 
no  right  to  any  family  ties  of  their  own ;  that  they 
were  created  merely  to  wait  upon  the  family  of  the 
mistress.  I  once  heard  her  abuse  a  young  slave  girl, 
who  told  her  that  a  colored  man  wanted  to  make  her 
his  wife.  "  I  will  have  you  peeled  and  pickled,  my 
lady,"  said  she,  "  if  I  ever  hear  you  mention  that  sub 
ject  again.  Do  you  suppose  that  I  will  have  you  tend 
ing  my  children  with  the  children  of  that  nigger  ? " 
The  girl  to  whom  she  said  this  had  a  mulatto  child, 
of  course  not  acknowledged  by  its  father.  The  poor 
black  man  who  loved  her  would  have  been  proud  to 
acknowledge  his  helpless  offspring. 

Many  and  anxious  were  the  thoughts .  J  revolved  in 
my  mind.  I  was  at  a  loss  what  to  do.  Above  all 
things,  I  was  desirous  to  spare  my  lover  the  insults 
that  had  cut  so  deeply  into  my  own  soul.  I  talked  with 
my  grandmother  about  it,  and  partly  told  her  my  fears. 
I  did  not  dare  to  tell  her  the  worst.  She  had  long 
suspected  all  was  not  right,  and  if  I  confirmed  her  sus 
picions  I  knew  a  storm  would  rise  that  would  prove 
the  overthrow  of  all  my  hopes. 


60      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

a  his  love-dream  had  been  my  support  through  many 
trials ;  and  I  could  not  bear  to  run  the  risk  of  having 
it  suddenly  dissipated.  There  was  a  lady  in  the  neigh 
borhood,  a  particular  friend  of  Dr.  Flint's,  who  often 
visited  the  house.  I  had  a  great  respect  for  her,  and 
she  had  always  manifested  a  friendly  interest  in  me. 
Grandmother  thought  she  would  have  great  influence 
with  the  doctor.  I  went  to  this  lady,  and  told  her  my 
story.  I  told  her  I  was  aware  that  my  lover's  being  a 
free-born  man  would  prove  a  great  objection  ;  but  he 
wanted  to  buy  me  ;  and  if  Dr.  Flint  would  consent  to 
that  arrangement,  I  felt  sure  he  would  be  willing 
to  pay  any  reasonable  price.  She  knew  that  Mrs.  Flint 
disliked  me ;  therefore,  I  ventured  to  suggest  that  per 
haps  my  mistress  would  approve  of  my  being  sold,  as 
that  would  rid  her  of  me.  The  lady  listened  with 
kindly  sympathy,  and  promised  to  do  her  utmost  to 
promote  my  wishes.  She  had  an  interview  with  the 
doctor,  and  I  believe  she  pleaded  my  cause  earnestly  ; 
but  it  was  all  to  no  purpose. 

How  I  dreaded  my  master  now !  Every  minute  I 
expected  to  be  summoned  to  his  presence ;  but  the  day 
passed,  and  I  heard  nothing  from  him.  The  next 
morning,  atmessagc  was  brought  to  me :  "  Master 
wants  you  in  his  study."  I  found  the  door  ajar,  and 
I  stood  a  moment  gazing  at  the  hateful  man  who 
claimed  a  right  to  rule  me,  body  and  soul.  I  entered, 
and  tried  to  appear  calm.  I  did  not  want  him  to 
know  how  my  heart  was  bleeding.  He  looked  fixedly 
at  me,  with  an  expression  which  seemed  to  say,  "  I 
have  half  a  mind  to  kill  you  on  the  spot."  At  last 
he  broke  the  silence,  and  that  was  a  relief  to  both  of  us. 


The  Lover.  61 

"  So  you  want  to  be  married,  do  you  ?  "  said  4ie, 
"  and  to  a  free  nigger." 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  Well,  I'll  soon  convince  you  whether  I  am  your 
master,  or  the  nigger  fellow  you  honor  so  highly.  If 
you  must  have  a  husband,  you  may  take  up  with  one 
of  my  slaves." 

What  a  situation  I  should  be  in,  as  the  wife  of  one 
of  his  slaves,  even  if  my  heart  had  been  interested ! 

I  replied,  "  Don't  you  suppose,  sir,  that  a  slave  can 
have  some  preference  about  marrying  ?  Do  you  sup 
pose  that  all  men  are  alike  to  her  ? " 

"  Do  you  love  this  nigger  ? "  said  he,  abruptly. 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  How  dare  you  tell  me  so !  "  he  exclaimed,  in  great 
wrath.  After  a  slight  pause,  he  added,  "  I  supposed 
you  thought  more  of  yourself ;  that  you  felt  above  the 
insults  of  such  puppies." 

"  I  replied,  "  If  he  is  a  puppy  I  am  a  puppy,  for 
we  are  both  of  the  negro  race.  It  is  right  and  honor 
able  for  us  to  love  each  other.  The  man  you  call  a 
puppy  never  insulted  me,  sir ;  and  he  would  not  love 
me  if  he  did  not  believe  me  to  be  a  virtuous  woman." 

He  sprang  upon  me  like  a  tiger,  amd  gave  me  a 
stunning  blow.  It  was  the  first  time  he  had  ever 
struck  me ;  and  fear  did  not  enable  me  to  control  my 
anger.  When  I  had  recovered  a  little  from  the  effects, 
I  exclaimed,  "  You  have  struck  me  for  answering  you 
honestly.  How  I  despise  you  !  " 

There  was  silence  for  some  minutes.  Perhaps  he 
was  deciding  what  should  be  my  punishment ;  or,  per 
haps,  he  wanted  to  give  me  time  to  reflect  on  what  I 

6 


62      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

had  said,  and  to  whom  I  had  said  it.  Finally,  he 
asked,  "  Do  you  know  what  you  have  said  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir ;  but  your  treatment  drove  me  to  it." 

"  Do  you  know  that  I  have  a  right  to  do  as  I  like 
with  you,  —  that  I  can  kill  you,  if  I  please  ?  " 

"  You  have  tried  to  kill  me,  and  I  wish  you  had ; 
but  you  have  no  right  to  do  as  you  like  with  me." 

"  Silence  !  "  he  exclaimed,  in  a  thundering  voice. 
"  By  heavens,  girl,  you  forget  yourself  too  far !  Are 
you  mad  ?  If  you  are,  I  will  soon  bring  you  to  your 
senses.  Do  you  think  any  other  master  would  bear 
what  I  have  borne  from  you  this  morning?  Many 
masters  would  have  killed  yoii  on  the  spot.  How 
would  you  like  to  be  sent  to  jail  for  your  insolence  ?  " 

"  I  know  I  have  been  disrespectful,  sir,"  I  replied ; 
"  but  you  drove  me  to  it ;  I  couldn't  help  it.  As  for 
the  jail,  there  would  be  more  peace  for  me  there  than 
there  is  here." 

"  You  deserve  to  go  there,"  said  he,  "  and  to  be 
under  such  treatment,  that  you  would  forget  the  mean 
ing  of  the  word  peace.  It  would  do  you  good.  It 
would  take  some  of  your  high  notions  out  of  you. 
But  I  arn  not  ready  to  send  you  there  yet,  notwith 
standing  your  ingratitude  for  all  my  kindness  and  for 
bearance.  You  have  been  the  plague  of  my  life.  I 
have  wanted  to  make  you  happy,  and  I  have  been  re 
paid  with  the  basest  ingratitude ;  but  though  you  have 
proved  yourself  incapable  of  appreciating  my  kind 
ness,  I  will  be  lenient  towards  you,  Linda.  I  will  give 
you  one  more  chance  to  redeem  your  character.  If 
you  behave  yourself  and  do  as  I  require,  I  will  forgive 
you  and  treat  you  as  I  always  have  done ;  but  if  you 


The  Lover.  63 

disobey  rne,  I  will  punish  you  as  I  would  the  meanest 
slave  on  my  plantation.  Never  let  me  hear  that  fel 
low's  name  mentioned  again.  If  I  ever  know  of  your 
speaking  to  him,  I  will  cowhide  you  both ,  and  if 
I  catch  him  lurking  about  my  premises,  I  will  shoot 
him  as  soon  as  I  would  a  dog.  Do  you  hear  what  I 
say  ?  I'll  teach  you  a  lesson  about  marriage  and  free 
niggers  !  Now  go,  and  let  this  be  the  last  time  I  have 
occasion  to  speak  to  you  on  this  subject." 

Reader,  did  you  ever  hate  ?  I  hope  not.  I  never 
did  but  once  ;  and  I  trust  I  never  shall  again.  Some 
body  has  called  it  "  the  atmosphere  of  hell ; "  and  I 
believe  it  is  so. 

For  a  fortnight  the  doctor  did  not  speak  to  me.  He 
thought  to  mortify  me ;  to  make  me  feel  that  I  had 
disgraced  myself  by  receiving  the  honorable  addresses 
of  a  respectable  colored  man,  in  preference  to  the  base 
proposals  of  a  white  man.  But  though  his  lips  dis 
dained  to  address  me,  his  eyes  were  very  loquacious. 
No  animal  ever  watched  its  prey  more  narrowly  than 
he  watched  me.  He  knew  that  I  could  write,  though 
he  had  failed  to  make  me  read  his  letters ;  and  he  was 
now  troubled  lest  I  should  exchange  letters  with 
another  man.  After  a  while  he  became  weary  of 
silence  ;  and  I  was  sorry  for  it.  One  morning,  as  he 
passed  through  the  hall,  to  leave  the  house,  he  con 
trived  to  thrust  a  note  into  my  hand.  I  thought  I  had 
better  read  it,  and  spare  myself  the  vexation  of  having 
him  read  it  to  me.  It  expressed  regret  for  the  blow 
lie  had  given  me,  and  reminded  me  that  I  myself  was 
wholly  to  blame  for  it.  He  hoped  I  had  become  con 
vinced  of  the  injury  I  was  doing  myself  by  incurring 


64       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

his  displeasure.  He  wrote  that  he  had  made  up  his 
mind  to  go  to  Louisiana ;  that  he  should  take  several 
slaves  with  him,  and  intended  I  should  be  one  of  the 
number.  My  mistress  would  remain  where  she  was ; 
therefore  I  should  have  nothing  to  fear  from  that 
quarter.  If  I  merited  kindness  from  him,  he  assured 
me  that  it  would  be  lavishly  bestowed.  He  begged  me 
to  think  over  the  matter,  and  answer  the  following  day. 

The  next  morning  I  was  called  to  carry  a  pair  of 
scissors  to  his  room.  I  laid  them  on  the  table,  with 
the  letter  beside  them.  He  thought  it  was  my  answer, 
and  did  not  call  me  back.  I  went  as  usual  to  attend 
my  young  mistress  to  and  from  school.  He  met  me 
in  the  street,  and  ordered  me  to  stop  at  his  office  on 
my  way  back.  When  I  entered,  he  showed  me  his 
letter,  and  asked  me  why  I  had  not  answered  it.  I 
replied,  "  I  am  your  daughter's  property,  and  it  is  in 
your  power  to  send  me,  or  take  me,  wherever  you 
please."  He  said  he  was  very  glad  to  find  me  so  will 
ing  to  go,  and  that  we  should  start  early  in  the  autumn. 
He  had  a  large  practice  in  the  town,  and  I  rather 
thought  he  had  made  up  the  story  merely  to  frighten 
me.  However  that  might  be,  I  was  determined  that  I 
would  never  go  to  Louisiana  with  him. 

Summer  passed  away,  and  early  in  the  autumn  Dr. 
Flint's  eldest  son  was  sent  to  Louisiana  to  examine  the 
country,  with  a  view  to  emigrating.  That  news  did  not 
disturb  me.  I  knew  very  well  that  I  should  not  be  sent 
with  him.  That  I  had  not  been  taken  to  the  planta 
tion  before  this  time,  was  owing  to  the  fact  that  his 
son  was  there.  He  was  jealous  of  his  son  ;  and  jeal 
ousy  of  the  overseer  had  kept  him  from  punishing  me  by 


The  Lover.  65 

sending  me  into  the  fields  to  work.  Is  it  strange  that 
I  was  not  proud  of  these  protectors  ?  As  for  the  over 
seer,  lie  was  a  man  for  whom  I  had  less  respect  than  I 
had  for  a  bloodhound. 

Young  Mr.  Flint  did  not  bring  back  a  favorable  re 
port  of  Louisiana,  arid  I  heard  no  more  of  that  scheme. 
Soon  after  this,  my  lover  met  me  at  the  corner  of  the 
street,  and  I  stopped  to  speak  to  him.  Looking  up,  I 
saw  my  master  watching  us  from  his  window.  I 
hurried  home,  trembling  with  fear.  I  was  sent  for,  im 
mediately,  to  go  to  his  room.  He  met  me  with  a  blow. 
"  When  is  mistress  to  be  married  ? "  said  he,  in  a 
sneering  tone.  A  shower  of  oaths  and  imprecations 
followed.  How  thankful  I  was  that  my  lover  was  a 
free  man!  that  my  tyrant  had  no  power  to  flog  him 
for  speaking  to  me  in  the  street ! 

Again  and  again  I  revolved  in  my  mind  how  all  this 
would  end.  There  was  no  hope  that  the  doctor  would 
consent  to  sell  me  on  any  terms.  He  had  an  iron 
will,  and  was  determined  to  keep  me,  and  to  con 
quer  me.  My  lover  was  an  intelligent  and  religious 
man.  Even  if  he  could  have  obtained  permission  to 
marry  me  while  I  was  a  slave,  the  marj^ge  would 
give  him  no  power  to  protect  me  from  mymaster.  It 
would  have  made  him  miserable  to  witness  the  in 
sults  I  should  have  been  subjected  to.  And  then,  if 
we  had  children,  I  knew  they  must  "  follow  the  con 
dition  of  the  mother."  What  a  terrible  blight  that 
would  be  on  the  heart  of  a  free,  intelligent  father! 
For  his  sake,  I  felt  that  I  ought  not  to  link  his  fate  with 
my  own  unhappy  destiny.  He  was  going  to  Savannah  to 
see  about  a  little  property  left  him  by  an  uncle  ;  and 

6* 


66       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

hard  as  it  was  to  bring  my  feelings  to  it,  I  earnestly 
entreated  him  not  to  come  back.  I  advised  him  to  go 
to  the  Free  States,  where  his  tongue  would  not  be  tied, 
and  where  his  intelligence  would  be  of  more  avail  to 
him.  He  left  me,  still  hoping  the  day  would  come 
when  I  could  be  bought.  "With  me  the  lamp  of  hope 
had  gone  out.  The  dream  of  my  girlhood  was  over. 
I  felt  lonely  and  desolate. 

Still  I  was  not  stripped  of  all.  I  still  had  my  good 
grandmother,  and  my  affectionate  brother.  When  he 
put  his  arms  round  my  neck,  and  looked  into  my  eyes, 
as  if  to  read  there  the  troubles  I  dared  not  tell,  I  felt 
that  I  still  had  something  to  love.  But  even  that 
pleasant  emotion  was  chilled  by  tbe  reflection  that  he 
might  be  torn  from  me  at  any  moment,  by  some  sud 
den  freak  of  my  master.  If  he  had  known  how  we 
loved  each  other,  I  think  he  would  have  exulted  in 
separating  us.  We  often  planned  together  how  we 
could  get  to  the  north.  But,  as  William  remarked, 
such  things  are  easier  said  than  done.  My  movements 
were  very  closely  watched,  and  we  had  no  means  of 
getting  any  money  to  defray  our  expenses.  As  for 
grandmother,  she  was  strongly  opposed  to  her  chil 
dren's  undertaking  any  such  project.  She  had  not  for 
gotten  poor  Benjamin's  sufferings,  and  she  was  afraid 
that  if  another  child  tried  to  escape,  he  would  have  a 
.similar  or  a  worse  fate.  To  me,  nothing  seemed  more 
dreadful  than  my  present  life.  I  said  to  myself, 
"  William  must  be  free.  He  shall  go  to  the  north,  and 
I  will  follow  him."  Many  a  slave  sister  has  formed 
the  same  plans. 


What  Slaves  are  Taught  of  the  North.      67 


VIII. 

WHAT  SLAVES  ARE  TAUGHT  TO  THINK  OF 
THE  NORTH. 

SLAVEHOLDERS  pride  themselves  upon  being  honor 
able  men  ;  but  if  you  were  to  hear  the  enormous  lies 
they  tell  their  slaves,  you  would  have  small  respect  for 
their  veracity.  I  have  spoken  plain  English.  Pardon 
me.  I  cannot  use  a  milder  term.  When  they  visit 
the  north,  and  return  home,  they  tell  their  slaves  of 
the  runaways  they  have  seen,  and  describe  them  to  be 
in  the  most  deplorable  condition.  A  slaveholder  once 
told  me  that  he  had  seen  a  runaway  friend  of  mine  in 
New  York,  and  that  she  besougbt  him  to  take  her  back 
to  her  master,  for  she  was  literally  dying  of  starva 
tion  ;  that  many  days  she  had  only  one  cold  potato  to 
eat,  and  at  other  times  could  get  nothing  at  all.  He 
said  lie  refused  to  take  her,  because  he  knew  her 
master  would  not  thank  him  for  bringing  such  a  mis 
erable  wretch  to  his  house.  He  endod  Mp  saying  to 
me,  "  This  is  the  punishment  she  brought  on  herself 
for  running  away  from  a  kind  master." 

This  whole  story  was  false.  I  afterwards  staid  with 
that  friend  in  New  York,  and  found  her  in  comfort 
able  circumstances.  She  had  never  thought  of  such 
a  thing  as  wishing  to  go  back  to  slavery.  Many  of*1 
the  slaves  believe  such  stories,  and  think  it  is  not  worth 
while  to  exchange  slavery  for  such  a  hard  kind  of  free 
dom.  It  is  difficult  to  persuade  such  that  freedom 


68       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

could  make  them  useful  men,  and  enable  them  to  pro 
tect  their  wives  and  children.  If  those  heathen  in  our 
Christian  land  had  as  much  teaching  as  some  Hindoos, 
they  would  think  otherwise.  They  would  know  that 
liberty  is  more  valuable  than  life.  They  would  begin 
to  Tinderstand  their  own  capabilities,  and  exert  them 
selves  to  become  men  and  women. 

But  while  the  Free  States  sustain  a  law  which  hurls 
fugitives  back  into  slavery,  how  can  the  slaves  resolve 
to  become  men  ?  There  arc  some,  who  strive  to  pro 
tect  wives  and  daughters  from  the  insults  of  their 
masters  ;  but  those  who  have  such  sentiments  have  had 
advantages  above  the  general  mass  of  slaves.  They 
have  been  partially  civilized  and  Christianized  by  favor 
able  circumstances.  Some  are  bold  enough  to  utter 
such  sentiments  to  their  masters.  0,  that  there  were 
more  of  them ! 

Some  poor  creatures  have  been  so  brutalized  by  the 
lash  that  they  will  sneak  out  of  the  way  to  give  their 
masters  free  access  to  their  wives  and  daughters.  Do 
you  think  this  proves  the  black  man  to  belong  to  an 
inferior  order  of  beings  ?  What  would  you  be,  if  you 
had  beenWrn  and  brought  up  a  slave,  with  gener 
ations  of  slaves  for  ancestors  ?  I  admit  that  the  black 
man  is  inferior.  But  what  is  it  that  makes  him  so  ? 
It  is  the  ignorance  in  which  white  men  compel  him  to 
live  ;  it  is  the  torturing  whip  that  lashes  manhood  out 
of  him  ;  it  is  the  fierce  bloodhounds  of  the  South,  and 
the  scarcely  less  cruel  human  bloodhounds  of  the 
north,  who  enforce  the  Fugitive  Slave  Law.  They  do 
the  work. 

Southern  gentlemen  indulge  in  the  most  contempt- 


What  Slaves  are  Taught  of  the  North.     69 

nous  expressions  about  the  Yankees,  while  they,  on 
their  part,  consent  to  do  the  vilest  work  for  them,  such 
as  the  ferocious  bloodhounds  and  the  despised  negro- 
huntcrs  are  employed  to  do  at  home.  When  south 
erners  go  to  the  north,  they  are  proud  to  do  them 
honor ;  but  the  northern  man  is  not  welcome  south  of 
Mason  and  Dixon's  line,  unless  he  suppresses  every 
thought  and  feeling  at  variance  with  their  "  peculiar 
institution."  Nor  is  it  enough  to  be  silent.  The  mas 
ters  are  not  pleased,  unless  they  obtain  a  greater  de 
gree  of  subservience  than  that ;  and  they  are  gener 
ally  accomodatcd.  Do  they  respect  the  northerner 
for  this  ?  I  trow  not.  Even  the  slaves  despise  "  a 
northern  man  with  southern  principles  ;  "  and  that  is 
the  class  they  generally  see.  When  northerners  go  to 
the  south  to  reside,  they  prove  very  apt  scholars. 
They  soon  imbibe  the  sentiments  and  disposition  of 
their  neighbors,  and  generally  go  beyond  their  teachers. 
Of  the  two,  they  are  proverbially  the  hardest  masters. 

They  seem  to  satisfy  their  consciences  with  the  doc 
trine  that  God  created  the  Africans  to  be  slaves.  What 
a  libel  upon  the  heavenly  Father,  who  "  made  of  one 
blood  all  nations  of  men  !  "  And  then  wlft>  are  Afri 
cans  ?  Who  can  measure  the  amount  of  Anglo-Saxon 
blood  coursing  in  the  veins  of  American  slaves  ? 

I  have  spoken  of  the  pains  slaveholders  take  to  give 
their  slaves  a  bad  opinion  of  the  north ;  but,  notwith 
standing  this,  intelligent  slaves  are  aware  that  they 
have  many  friends  in  the  Free  States.  Even  the  most 
ignorant  have  some  confused  notions  about  it.  They 
know  that  I  could  read ;  and  I  was  often  asked  if  I 
had  seen  any  thing  in  the  newspapers  about  white  folks 


70        Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

over  in  the  big  north,  who  were  trying  to  get  their 
freedom  for  them.  Some  believe  that  the  abolitionists 
have  already  made  them  free,  and  that  it  is  established 
by  law,  but  that  their  masters  prevent  the  law  from 
going  into  effect.  One  woman  begged  me  to  get  a 
newspaper  and  read  it  over.  She  said  her  husband 
told  her  that  the  black  people  had  sent  word  to  the 
queen  of  'Merica  that  they  were  all  slaves  ;  that  she 
didn't  believe  it,  and  went  to  Washington  city  to  see 
the  president  about  it.  They  quarrelled ;  she  drew 
her  sword  upon  him,  and  swore  that  he  should  help 
her  to  make  them  all  free. 

That  poor,  ignorant  woman  thought  that  America 
was  governed  by  a  Queen,  to  whom  the  President  was 
subordinate.  I  wish  the  President  was  subordinate  to 
Queen  Justice. 


Sketches  of  Neighboring  Slaveholders.      71 


IX. 

SKETCHES  OF  NEIGHBORING  SLAVEHOLDERS. 

THERE  was  a  planter  in  the  country,  not  far  from  us, 
whom  I  will  call  Mr.  Litch.  He  was  an  ill-bred,  un 
educated  man,  but  very  wealthy.  He  had  six  hun 
dred  slaves,  many  of  whom  he  did  not  know  by  sight. 
His  extensive  plantation  was  managed  by  well-paid 
overseers.  There  was  a  jail  and  a  whipping  post  on 
his  grounds  ;  and  whatever  cruelties  were  perpetrated 
there,  they  passed  without  comment.  He  was  so 
effectually  screened  by  his  great  wealth  that  he  was 
called  to  no  account  for  his  crimes,  not  even  for 
murder. 

Various  were  the  punishments  resorte<j  to.  A  fa 
vorite  one  was  to  tie  a  rope  round  a  man's  body,  and 
suspend  him  from  the  ground.  A  fire  was'  kindled 
over  him,  from  which  was  suspended  a  piece  of  fat 
pork.  As  this  cooked,  the  scalding  drops  of  fat  con 
tinually  fell  on  the  bare  flesh.  On  his  own  plantation, 
he  required  very  strict  obedience  to  the  eighth  com 
mandment.  But  depredations  on  the  neighbors  were 
allowable,  provided  the  culprit  managed  to  evade  de 
tection  or  suspicion.  If  a  neighbor  brought  a  charge 
of  theft  against  any  of  his  slaves,  he  was  browbeaten 
by  the  master,  who  assured  him  that  his  slaves  had 
enough  of  every  thing  at  home,  and  had  no  induce 
ment  to  steal.  No  sooner  was  the  neighbor's  back 
turned,  than  the  accused  was  sought  out,  and  whipped 


72       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

for  his  lack  of  discretion.  If  a  slave  stole  from  him 
even  a  pound  of  meat  or  a  peck  of  corn,  if  detection 
followed,  he  was  put  in  chains  and  imprisoned,  and  so 
kept  till  his  form  was  attenuated  by  hunger  and  suf 
fering. 

A  freshet  once  bore  his  wine  cellar  and  meat  house 
miles  away  from  the  plantation.  Some  slaves  followed, 
and  secured  hits  of  meat  and  bottles  of  wine.  Two 
were  detected  ;  a  ham  and  some  liquor  being  found  in 
their  huts.  They  were  summoned  by  their  master. 
No  words  were  used,  but  a  club  felled  them  to  the 
ground.  A  rough  box  was  their  coffin,  and  their 
interment  was  a  dog's  burial.  Nothing  was  said. 

Murder  was  so  common  on  his  plantation  that  he 
feared  to  be  alone  after  nightfall.  He  might  have 
believed  in  ghosts. 

His  brother,  if  not  equal  in  wealth,  was  at  least 
equal  in  cruelty.  His  bloodhounds  were  well  trained. 
Their  pen  was  spacious,  and  a  terror  to  the  slaves. 
They  were  let  loose  on  a  runaway,  and,  if  they  tracked 
him,  they  literally  tore  the  flesh  from  his  bones.  When 
this  slaveholder  died,  his  shrieks  and  groans  were  so 
frightful  that  they  appalled  his  own  friends.  His  last 
words  were,  "  I  am  going  to  hell ;  bury  my  money 
with  me." 

After  death  his  eyes  remained  open.  To  press  the 
lids  down,  silver  dollars  were  laid  on  them.  These 
were  buried  with  him.  From  this  circumstance,  a 
rumor  went  abroad  that  his  coffin  was  filled  with 
money.  Three  times  his  grave  was  opened,  and  his 
coffin  taken  out.  The  last  time,  his  body  was  found 
on  the  ground,  and  a  flock  of  buzzards  were  pecking 


Sketches  of  Neighboring  Slaveholders.      73 

at  it.  He  was  again  interred,  and  a  sentinel  set  over 
his  grave.  The  perpetrators  were  never  discovered.  - 
Cruelty  is  contagious  in  uncivilized  communities. 
Mr.  Conant,  a  neighbor  of  Mr.  Litch,  returned  from 
town  one  evening  in  a  partial  state  of  intoxication. 
His  body  servant  gave  him  some  offence.  He  was 
divested  of  his  clothes,  except  his  shirt,  whipped,  and 
tied  to  a  large  tree  in  front  of  the  house.  It  was  a 
stormy  night  in  winter.  The  wind  blew  bitterly  cold, 
and  the  boughs  of  the  old  tree  crackled  under  falling 
sleet.  A  member  of  the  family,  fearing  he  would 
freeze  to  death,  begged  that  he  might  be  taken  down  ; 
but  the  master  would  not  relent.  He  remained  there 
three  hours  ;  and,  when  he  was  cut  down,  he  was 
more  dead  than  alive.  Another  slave,  who  stole  a  pig 
from  this  master,  to  appease  his  hunger,  was  terribly 
flogged.  In  desperation,  he  tried  to  run  away.  But 
at  the  end  of  two  miles,  he  was  so  faint  with  loss  of 
blood,  he  thought  he  was  dying.  He  had  a  wife,  and 
he  longed  to  see  her  once  more.  Too  sick  to  walk, 
he  crept  back  that  long  distance  on  his  hands  and 
knees.  When  he  reached  his  master's,  it  was  night. 
He  had  not  strength  to  rise  and  open  the  gate.  He 
moaned,  and  tried  to  call  for  help.  I  had  a  friend 
living  in  the  same  family.  At  last  his  cry  reached  her. 
She  went  out  and  found  the  prostrate  man  at  the  gate. 
She  ran  back  to  the  house  for  assistance,  and  two  men 
returned  with  her.  They  carried  him  in,  and  laid 
him  on  the  floor.  The  back  of  his  shirt  was  one  clot 
of  blood.  By  means  of  lard,  my  friend  loosened  it 
from  the  raw  flesh.  She  bandaged  him,  gave  him  cool 
drink,  and  left  him  to  rest.  The  master  said  he  de- 

1 


74       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

served  a  hundred  more  lashes.  "When  his  own  labor 
was  stolen  from  him,  he  had  stolen  food  to  appease  his 
hunger.  This  was  his  crime. 

Another  neighbor  was  a  Mrs.  "Wade.  At  no  hour 
of  the  day  was  there  cessation  of  the  lash  on  her 
premises.  Her  labors  began  with  the  dawn,  and  did 
not  cease  till  long  after  nightfall.  The  barn  was  her 
particular  place  of  torture.  There  she  lashed  the 
slaves  with  the  might  of  a  man.  An  old  slave  of  hers 
once  said  to  me,  "  It  is  hell  in  missis's  house.  'Pears 
I  can  never  get  out.  Day  and  night  I  prays  to  die." 

The  mistress  died  before  the  old  woman,  and,  when 
dying,  entreated  her  husband  not  to  permit  any  one 
of  her  slaves  to  look  on  her  after  death.  A  slave  who 
had  nursed  her  children,  and  had  still  a  child  in  her 
care,  watched  her  chance,  and  stole  with  it  in  her 
arms  to  the  room  where  lay  her  dead  mistress.  She 
gazed  a  while  on  her,  then  raised  her  hand  and  dealt 
two  blows  on  her  face,  saying,  as  she  did  so,  "  The 
devil  is  got  you  now  !  "  She  forgot  that  the  child  was 
looking  on.  She  had  just  begun  to  talk  ;  and  she 
said  to  her  father,  "  I  did  see  ma,  and  mammy  did 
strike  ma,  so,"  striking  her  own  face  with  her  little 
hand.  The  master  was  startled.  He  could  not  im 
agine  how  the  nurse  could  obtain  access  to  the  room 
where  the  corpse  -lay ;  for  he  kept  the  door  locked. 
He  questioned  her.  She  confessed  that  what  the  child 
had  said  was  true,  and  told  hoV  she  had  procured  the 
key.  She  was  sold  to  Georgia. 

In  my  childhood  I  knew  a  valuable  slave,  named 
Charity,  and  loved  her,  as  all  children  did.  Her  young 
mistress  married,  and  took  her  to  Louisiana.  Her 


Sketches  of  Neighboring  Slaveholders.      75* 

little  boy,  James,  was  sold  to  a  good  sort  of  master. 
He  became  involved  in  debt,  and  James  was  sold 
again  to  a  wealthy  slaveholder,  noted  for  his  cruelty. 
With  this  man  he  grew  up  to  manhood,  receiving  the 
treatment  of  a  dog.  After  a  severe  whipping,  to  save 
himself  from  further  infliction  of  the  lash,  with  which 
he  was  threatened,  he  took  to  the  woods.  He  was  in. 
a  most  miserable  condition  —  cut  by  the  cowskin, 
half  naked,  half  starved,  and  without  the  means  of 
procuring  a  crust  of  bread. 

Some  weeks  after  his  escape,  he  was  captured,  tied, 
and  carried  back  to  his  master's  plantation.  This 
man  considered  punishment  in'  his  jail,  on  bread  and 
water,  after  receiving  hundreds  of  lashes,  too  mild  for 
the  poor  slave's  offence.  Therefore  he  decided,  after 
the  overseer  should  have  whipped  him  to  his  satis 
faction,  to  have  him  placed  between  the  screws  of  the 
cotton  gin,  to  stay  as  long  as  he  had  been  in  the  woods. 
Tbis  wretched  creature  was  cut  with  the  whip  from 
his  head  to  his  feet,  then  washed  with  strong  brine,  to 
prevent  the  flesh  from  mortifying,  and  make  it  heal 
sooner  than  it  otherwise  would.  He  was  then  put 
into  the  cotton  gin,  which  was  screwed  down,  only 
allowing  him  room  to  turn  on  his  side  when  he  could 
not  lie  on  his  back.  Every  morning  a  slave  was  sent 
with  a  piece  of  bread  and  bowl  of  water,  which  were 
placed  within  reach  of  the  poor  fellow.  The  slave 
was  charged,  under  penalty  of  severe  punishment,  not 
to  speak  to  him. 

Four  days  passed,  and  the  slave  continued  to  carry 
the  bread  and  water.  On  the  second  morning,  he 
found  the  bread  gone,  but  the  water  untouched. 


76       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

• 

When  he  had  been  in  the  press  four  days  and  five 
nights,  the  slave  informed  his  master  that  the  water 
had  not  been  used  for  four  mornings,  and  that  a  hor 
rible  stench  came  from  the  gin  house.  The  overseer 
was  sent  to  examine  into  it.  When  the  press  was 
unscrewed,  the  dead  body  was  found  partly  eaten  by 
rats  and  vermin.  Perhaps  the  rats  that  devoured  his 
bread  had  gnawed  him  before  life  was  extinct.  Poor 
Charity  !  Grandmother  and  I  often  asked  each  other 
how  her  affectionate  heart  would  bear  the  news,  if  she 
should  ever  hear  of  the  murder  of  her  son.  We  had 
known  her  husband,  and  knew  that  James  was  like 
him  in  manliness  and  intelligence.  These  were  the 
qualities  that  made  it  so  hard  for  him  to  be  a  planta 
tion  slave.  They  put  him  into  a  rough  box,  and 
buried  him  with  less  feeling  than  would  have  been 
manifested  for  an  old  house  dog.  Nobody  asked  any 
questions.  He  was  a  slave  ;  and  the  feeling  was  tbat 
the  master  had  a  right  to  do  what  he  pleased  with  his 
own  property.  And  what  did  he  care  for  the  value  of 
a  slave  ?  He  had  hundreds  of  them.  When  they 
had  finished  their  daily  toil,  they  must  hurry  to  eat 
their  little  morsels,  and  be  ready  to  extinguish  their 
pine  knots  before  nine  o'clock,  when  the  overseer  went 
his  patrol  rounds.  He  entered  every  cabin,  to  see  that 
men  and  their  wives  had  gone  to  bed  together,  lest  the 
men,  from  over-fatigue,  should  fall  asleep  in  the  chim 
ney  corner,  and  remain  there  till  the  morning  horn 
called  them  to  their  daily  task.  Women  are  consid 
ered  of  no  value,  unless  they  continually  increase  their 
owner's  stock.  They  are  put  on  a  par  with  animals. 
This  same  master  shot  a  woman  through  the  head,  who 


Sketches  of  Neighboring  Slaveholders.      77 

had  run  away  and  been  brought  back  to  him.  No 
one  'called  him  to  account  for  it.  If  a  slave  resisted  \ 
being  whipped,  the  bloodhounds  were  unpacked,  and 
set  upon  him,  to  tear  his  flesh  from  his  bones.  The 
master  who  did  these  things  was  highly  educated,  and 
styled  a  perfect  gentleman.  He  also  boasted  the  name 
and  standing  of  a  Christian,  though  Satan  never  had 
a  truer  follower. 

I  could  tell  of  more  slaveholders  as  cruel  as  those  I 
have  described.  They  are  not  exceptions  to  the  gen 
eral  rule.  I  do  not  say  there  are  no  humane  slave 
holders.  Such  characters  do  exist,  notwithstanding 
the  hardening  influences  around  them.  But  they  are 
"  like  angels'  visits  —  few  and  far  between," 

I  knew  a  young  lady  who  was  one  of  these  rare 
specimens.  She  was  an  orphan,  and  inherited  as 
slaves  a  woman  and  her  six  children.  Their  father 
was  a  free  man.  They  had  a  comfortable  home  of 
their  own,  parents  and  children  living  together,  'the 
mother  and  eldest  daughter  served  their  mistress 
during  the  day,  and  at  night  returned  to  their  dwell 
ing,  which  was  on  the  premises.  The  young  lady  was 
very  pious,  and  there  was  some  reality  in  her  religion. 
She  taught  her  slaves  to  lead  pure  lives,  and  wished 
them  to  enjoy  the  fruit  of  their  own  industry.  Her 
religion  was  not  a  garb  put  on  for  Sunday,  and  laid 
aside  till  Sunday  returned  again.  The  oldest  daugh 
ter  of  the  slave  mother  was  promised  in  marriage  to  a 
free  man  ;  and  the  day  before  the  wedding  this  good 
mistress  emancipated  her,  in  order  that  her  marriage 
might  have  the  sanction  of  law. 

Report  said  that  this  young  lady  cherished  an  un- 
7* 


y8        Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

requited  affection  for  a  man  who  had  resolved  to 
marry  for  wealth.  In  the  course  of  time  a  rich  uncle 
of  hers  died.  He  left  six  thousand  dollars  to  his  two 
sons  by  a  colored  woman,  and  the  remainder  of  his 
property  to  this  orphan  niece.  The  metal  soon  at 
tracted  the  magnet.  The  lady  and  her  weighty  purse 
became  his.  She  offered  to  manumit  her  slaves  —  tell 
ing  them  that  her  marriage  might  make  unexpected 
changes  in  their  destiny,  and  she  wished  to  insure 
their  happiness.  They  refused  to  take  their  freedom, 
saying  that  she  had  always  been  their  best  friend,  and 
they  could  not  be  so  happy  any  where  as  with  her.  I 
was  not  surprised.  I  had  often  seen  them  in  their 
comfortable  home,  and  thought  that  the  whole  town 
did  not  contain  a  happier  family.  They  had  never  felt 
slavery ;  and,  when  it  was  too  late,  they  were  con 
vinced  of  its  reality. 

When  the  new  master  claimed  this  family  as  his 
property,  the  father  became  furious,  and  went  to  his 
mistress  for  protection.  "  I  can  do  nothing  for  you 
now,  Harry,"  said  she.  "  I  no  longer  have  the  power 
I  had  a  week  ago.  I  have  succeeded  in  obtaining  the 
freedom  of  your  wife  ;  but  I  cannot  obtain  it  for  your 
children."  The  unhappy  father  swore  that  nobody 
should  take  his  children  from  him.  He  concealed 
them  in  the  woods  for  some  days  ;  but  they  were  dis 
covered  and  taken.  The  father  was  put  in  jail,  and 
the  two  oldest  boys  sold  to  Georgia.  One  little  girl, 
too  young  to  be  of  service  to  her  master,  was  left  with 
the  wretched  mother.  The  other  three  were  carried 
to  their  master's  plantation.  The  eldest  soon  became 
a  mother  ;  and,  when  the  slaveholder's  wife  looked  at 


Sketches  of  Neighboring  Slaveholders.      79 

the  babe,  she  wept  bitterly.  She  knew  that  her  own 
husband  had  violated  the  purity  she  had  so  carefully 
inculcated.  She  had  a  second  child  by  her  master, 
and  then  he  sold  her  and  his  offspring  to  his  brother. 
She  bore  two  children  to  the  brother,  and  was  sold 
again.  The  next  sister  went  crazy.  The  life  she  was 
compelled  to  lead  drove  her  mad.  The  third  one 
became  the  mother  of  five  daughters.  Before  the 
birth  of  the  fourth  the  pious  mistress  died.  To  the 
last,  she  rendered  every  kindness  to  the  slaves  that 
her  unfortunate  circumstances  permitted.  She  passed 
away  peacefully,  glad  to  close  her  eyes  on  a  life  which 
had  been  made  so  wretched  by  the  man  she  loved. 

This  man  squandered  the  fortune  he  had  received, 
and  sought  to  retrieve  his  affairs  by  a  second  marriage ; 
but,  having  retired  after  a  night  of  drunken  debauch, 
he  was  found  dead  in  the  morning.  He  was  called  a 
good  master  ;  for  he  fed  and  clothed  his  slaves  better 
than  most  masters,  and  the  lash  was  not  heard  on  his 
plantation  so  frequently  as  on  many  others.  Had  it 
not  been  for  slavery,  he  would  have  been  a  better  man, 
and  his  wife  a  happier  woman. 

No  pen  can  give  an  adequate  description  of  the  all- 
pervading  corruption  produced  by  slavery.  The  slave 
girl  is  reared  in  an  atmosphere  of  licentiousness  and 
fear.  The  lash  and  the  foul  talk  of  her  master  and 
his  sons  are  Jier  teachers.  When  she  is  fourteen  or 
fifteen,  her  owner,  or  his  sons,  or  the  overseer,  or  per 
haps  all  of  them,  begin  to  bribe  her  with  presents. 
If  these  fail  to  accomplish  their  purpose,  she  is  whipped 
or  starved  into  submission  to  their  will.  She  may 
have  had  religious  principles  inculcated  by  some  pious 


80        Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

mother  or  grandmother,  or  some  good  mistress ;  she 
may  have  a  lover,  whose  good  opinion  and  peace  of 
mind  are  dear  to  her  heart ;  or  the  profligate  men  who 
have  power  over  her  may  be  exceedingly  odious  to 
her.  But  resistance  is  hopeless. 

"  The  poor  worm 

Shall  prove  her  contest  vain.    Life's  little  day 
Shall  pass,  and  she  is  gone !  " 

The  slaveholder's  sons  are,  of  course,  vitiated,  even 
while  boys,  by  the  unclean  influences  every  where 
around  them.  Nor  do  the  master's  daughters  always 
escape.  Severe  retributions  sometimes  come  upon  him 
for  the  wrongs  he  does  to  the  daughters  of  the  slaves. 
The  white  daughters  early  hear  their  parents  quarrel 
ling  about  some  female  slave.  Their  curiosity  is 
excited,  and  they  soon  learn  the  cause.  They  are 
attended  by  the  young  slave  girls  whom  their  father 
has  corrupted  ;  and  they  hear  such  talk  as  should 
never  meet  youthful  ears,  or  any  other  ears.  They 
know  that  the  women  slaves  are  subject  to  their  fa 
ther's  authority  in  all  things  ;  and  in  some  cases  they 
exercise  the  same  authority  over  the  men  slaves.  I 
have  myself  seen  the  master  of  such  a  household  whose 
head  was  bowed  down  in  shame  ;  for  it  was  known  in 
the  neighborhood  that  his  daughter  had  selected  one 
of  the  meanest  slaves  on  his  plantation  to  be  the  father 
of  his  first  grandchild.  She  did  not  make  her  ad 
vances  to  her  equals,  nor  even  to  her  father's  more 
intelligent  servants.  She  selected  the  most  brutalized, 
over  whom  her  authority  could  be  exercised  with  less 
fear  of  exposure.  Her  father,  half  frantic  with  rage, 
sought  to  revenge  himself  on  the  offending  black  man ; 


Sketches  of  Neighboring  Slaveholders.      8l 

but  his  daughter,  foreseeing  the  storm  that  would 
arise,  had  given  him  free  papers,  and  sent  him  out  of 
the  state. 

In  such  cases  the  infant  is  smothered,  or  sent  where 
it  is  never  seen  by  any  who  know  its  history.  But  if 
the  white  parent  is  the  father,  instead  of  the  mother, 
the  offspring  are  unblushingly  reared  for  the  market. 
If  they  are  girls,  I  have  indicated  plainly  enough  what 
will  be  their  inevitable  destiny. 

You  may  believe  what  I  say ;  for  I  write  only  that 
whereof  I  know.  I  was  twenty-one  years  in  that  cage 
of  obscene  birds.  I  can  testify,  from  my  own  experi 
ence  and  observation,  that  slavery  is  a  curse  to  the 
whites  as  well  as  to  the  blacks.  It  makes  the  white 
fathers  cruel  and  sensual ;  the  sons  violent  and  licen 
tious  ;  it  contaminates  the  daughters,  and  makes  the 
wives  wretched.  And  as  for  the  colored  race,  it  needs 
an  abler  pen  than  mine  to  describe  the  extremity  of 
their  sufferings,  the  depth  of  their  degradation. 

Yet  few  slaveholders  seem  to  be  aware  of  the  wide 
spread  moral  ruin  occasioned  by  this  wicked  system. 
Their  talk  is  of  blighted  cotton  crops  —  not  of  the 
blight  on  their  children's  souls. 

If  you  want  to  be  fully  convinced  of  the  abomina 
tions  of  slavery,  go  on  a  southern  plantation,  and  call 
yourself  a  negro  trader.  Then  there  will  be  no  con 
cealment  ;  and  you  will  see  and  hear  things  that  will 
seem  to  you  impossible  among  human  beings  with 
immortal  souls. 


82        Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


X. 

A  PERILOUS  PASSAGE  IN  THE  SLAVE  GIRL'S 
LIFE. 

AFTER  my  lover  went  away,  Dr.  Flint  contrived  a 
new  plan.  He  seemed  to  have  an  idea  that  my  fear  of 
my  mistress  was  his  greatest  obstacle.  In  the  blandest 
tones,  lie  told  me  that  he  was  going  to  build  a  small 
house  for  me,  in  a  secluded  place,  four  miles  away  from 
the  town.  I  shuddered ;  but  I  was  constrained  to 
listen,  while  he  talked  of  his  intention  to  give  me  a 
home  of  my  own,  and  to  make  a  lady  of  me.  Hitherto, 
I  had  escaped  my  dreaded  fate,  by  being  in  the  midst 
of  people.  My  grandmother  had  already  had  high 
words  with  my  master  about  me.  She  had  told  him 
pretty  plainly  what  she  thought  of  his  character,  and 
there  was  considerable  gossip  in  the  neighborhood 
about  our  affairs,  to  which  the  open-mouthed  jealousy 
of  Mrs.  Flint  contributed  not  a  little.  When  my  mas 
ter  said  he  was  going  to  build  a  house  for  me,  and  that 
he  could  do  it  with  little  trouble  and  expense,  I  was  in 
hopes  something  would  happen  to  frustrate  his  scheme ; 
but  I  soon  heard  that  the  house  was  actually  begun. 
I  vowed  before  my  Maker  that  I, would  never  enter  it. 
I  had  rather  toil  on  the  plantation  from  dawn  till  dark ; 
I  had  rather  live  and  die  in  jail,  than  drag  on,  from 
day  to  day,  through  such  a  living  death.  I  was  deter 
mined  that  the  master,  whom  I  so  hated  and  loathed, 
who  had  blighted  the  prospects  of  my  youth^id  made 


A  perilous  PaiTage  in  the  Slave  Girl's  Life.     83 

my  life  a  desert,  should  not,  after  my  long  struggle 
with  him,  succeed  at  last  in  trampling  his  victim  under 
his  feet.  I  would  do  any  thing,  every  thing,  for  the  sake 
of  defeating  him.  What  could  I  do  ?  I  thought  and 
thought,  till  I  became  desperate,  and  made  a  plunge 
into  the  abyss. 

And  now,  reader,  I  come  to  a  period  in  my  unhappy 
life,  which  I  would  gladly  forget  if  I  could.  The  re 
membrance  fills  me  with  sorrow  and  shame.  It  pains 
me  to  tell  you  of  it ;  but  I  have  promised  to  tell  you 
the  truth,  and  I  will  do  it  honestly,  let  it  cost  me  what 
it  may.  I  will  not  try  to  screen  myself  behind 
the  plea  of  compulsion  from  a  master ;  for  it  was 
not  so.  Neither  can  I  plead  ignorance  or  thought 
lessness.  For  years,  my  master  had  done  his  utmost 
to  pollute  my  mind  with  foul  images,  and  to  destroy 
the  pure  principles  inculcated  by  my  grandmother, 
and  the  good  mistress  of  my  childhood.  The  influ 
ences  of  slavery  had  had  the  same  effect  on  me  that 
they  had  on  other  young  girls ;  they  had  made  me 
prematurely  knowing,  concerning  the  evil  ways  of 
the  world.  I  knew  what  I  did,  and  I  did  it  with  de 
liberate  calculation. 

But,  0,  ye  happy  women,  whose  purity  has  been 
sheltered  from  childhood,  who  have  been  free  to  choose 
the  objects  of  your  affection,  whose  homes  are  protected 
by  law,  do  not  judge  the  poor  desolate  slave  girl  too 
severely !  If  slavery  had  been  abolished,  I,  also,  could 
have  married  the  man  of  my  choice ;  I  could  have  had 
a  home  shielded  by  the  laws ;  and  I  should  have  been 
spared  the  painful  task  of  confessing  what  I  am  now 
about  to  relate ;  but  all  my  prospects  had  been  blighted 


84       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

by  slavery.  I  wanted  to  keep  myself  pure ;  and,  under 
the  most  adverse  circumstances,  I  tried  hard  to  preserve 
my  self-respect ;  but  I  was  struggling  alone  in  the 
powerful  grasp  of  the  demon  Slavery ;  and  the  monster 
proved  too  strong  for  me.  I  felt  as  if  I  was  forsaken 
by  God  and  man ;  as  if  all  my  efforts  must  be  frus 
trated  ;  and  I  became  reckless  in  my  despair. 

I  have  told  you  that  Dr.  Flint's  persecutions  and  his 
wife's  jealousy  had  given  rise  to  some  gossip  in  the 
neighborhood.  Among  others,  it  chanced  that  a  white 
unmarried  gentleman  had  obtained  some  knowledge 
of  the  circumstances  in  which  I  was  placed.  He  knew 
my  grandmother,  and  often  spoke  to  me  in  the  street. 
He  became  interested  for  me,  and  asked  questions 
about  my  master,  which  I  answered  in  part.  He  ex 
pressed  a  great  deal  of  sympathy,  and  a  wish  to  aid 
me.  He  constantly  sought  opportunities  to  see  me, 
and  wrote  to  me  frequently.  I  was  a  poor  slave  girl, 
only  fifteen  years  old. 

So  much  attention  from  a  superior  person  was,  of 
course,  flattering ;  for  human  nature  is  the  same  in  all. 
I  also  felt  grateful  for  his  sympathy,  and  encouraged 
by  his  kind  words.  It  seemed  to  me  a  great  thing  to 
have  such  a  friend.  By  degrees,  a  more  tender  feeling 
crept  into  my  heart.  He  was  an  educated  and  elo 
quent  gentleman ;  too  eloquent,  alas,  for  the  poor  slave 
girl  who  trusted  in  him.  Of  course  I  saw  whither  all 
this  was  tending.  I  knew  the  impassable  gulf  between 
us  ;  but  to  be  an  object  of  interest  to  a  man  who  is  not 
married,  and  who  is  not  her  master,  is  agreeable  to  the 
pride  and  feelings  of  a  slave,  if  her  miserable  situation 
has  left  her  any  pride  or  sentiment.  It  seems  less  de- 


A  perilous  Paffage  in  the  Slave  Girl's  Life.     85 

grading  to  give  one's  self,  than  to  submit  to  compulsion. 
There  is  something  akin  to  freedom  in  having  a  lover 
who  lias  no  control  over  you,  except  that  which  he  gains 
hy  kindness  and  attachment.  A  master  may  treat  you 
as  rudely  as  he  pleases,  and  you  dare  not  speak ;  more 
over,  the  wrong  does  not  seem  so  great  with  an  un 
married  man,  as  with  one  who  has  a  wife  to  be  made 
unhappy.  There  may  be  sophistry  in  all  this  ;  but  the 
condition  of  a  slave  confuses  all  principles  of  morality, 
and,  in  fact,  renders  the  practice  of  them  impossible. 

When  I  found  that  my  master  had  actually  begun  to 
build  the  lonely  cottage,  other  feelings  mixed  with 
those  I  have  described.  Revenge,  and  calculations  of 
interest,  were  added  to  flattered  vanity  and  sincere 
gratitude  for  kindness.  I  knew  nothing  would  enrage 
Dr.  Flint  so  much  as  to  know  that  I  favored  another ; 
and  it  was  something  to  triumph  over  my  tyrant  even 
in  that  small  way.  I  thought  he  would  revenge  himself 
by  selling  me,  and  I  was  sure  my  friend,  Mr.  Sands, 
would  buy  me.  He  was  a  man  of  more  generosity 
and  feeling  than  my  master,  and  I  thought  my  free 
dom  could  be  easily  obtained  from  him.  The  crisis 
of  my  fate  now  came  so  near  that  I  was  desperate. 
I  shuddered  to  think  of  being  the  mother  of  chil 
dren  that  should  be  owned  by  my  old  tyrant.  I  knew 
that  as  soon  as  a  new  fancy  took  him,  his  victims 
were  sold  far  off  to  get  rid  of  them ;  especially  if 
they  had  children.  I  had  seen  several  women  sold, 
with  his  babies  at  the  breast.  He  never  allowed  his 
offspring  by  slaves  to  remain  long  in  sight  of  himself 
and  his  wife.  Of  a  man  who  was  not  my  master  I 
could  ask  to  have  my  children  well  supported  ;  and  in 


86        Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

this  case,  I  felt  confident  I  should  obtain  the  boon.  I 
also  felt  quite  sure  that  they  would  be  made  free.  With 
all  these  thoughts  revolving  in  my  mind,  and  seeing 
no  other  way  of  escaping  the  doom  I  so  much  dreaded, 
I  made  a  headlong  plunge.  Pity  me,  and  pardon  me, 

0  virtuous  reader !     You  never  knew  what  it  is  to  be 
a  slave  ;    to  be  entirely  unprotected  by  law  or  custom  ; 
to  have  the  laws  reduce  you  to  the  condition  of  a 
chattel,  entirely  subject  to  the  will  of  another.     You 
never  exhausted  your  ingenuity  in  avoiding  the  snares, 
and  eluding  the  power  of  a  hated  tyrant ;  you  never 
shuddered  at  the  sound  of  his  footsteps,  and  trembled 
within  hearing  of  his  voice.     I  know  I  did  wrong.     No 
one  can  feel  it  more  sensibly  than  I  do.     The  painful 
and  humiliating  memory  will  haunt  me  to  my  dying 
day.    Still,  in  looking  back,  calmly,  on  the  events  of  my 
life,  I  feel  that  the  slave  woman  ought  not  to  be  judged 
by  the  same  standard  as  others. 

The  months  passed  on.    I  had  many  unhappy  hours. 

1  secretly  mourned  over  the  sorrow  I  was  bringing  on 
my  grandmother,  who  had  so  tried  to  shield  me  from 
harm.     I  knew  that  I  was  the  greatest  comfort  of  her 
old  age,  and  that  it  was  a  source  of  pride  to  her  that  I 
had  not  degraded  myself,  like  most  of  the  slaves.     I 
wanted  to  confess  to  her  that  I  was  no  longer  worthy 
of  her  love  ;  but  I  could  not  utter  the  dreaded  words. 

As  for  Dr.  Flint,  I  had  a  feeling  of  satisfaction  and 
triumph  in  the  thought  of  telling  him.  From  time  to 
time  he  told  me  of  his  intended  arrangements,  and  I 
was  silent.  At  last,  he  came  and  told  me  the  cottage 
was  completed,  and  ordered  me  to  go  to  it.  I  told  him 
I  would  never  enter  it.  He  said,  "  I  have  heard 


A  perilous  Paffage  in  the  Slave  Girl's  Life.     87 

enough  of  such  talk  as  that.  You  shall  go,  if  you  are 
carried  by  force  ;  and  you  shall  remain  there." 

I  replied,  "  I  will  never  go  there.  In  a  few  months 
I  shall  be  a  mother." 

He  stood  and  looked  at  me  in  dumb  amazement,  and 
left  the  house  without  a  word.  I  thought  I  should  be 
happy  in  my  triumph  over  him.  But  now  that  the 
truth  was  out,  and  my  relatives  would  hear  of  it,  I  felt 
wretched.  Humble  as  were  their  circumstances,  they 
had  pride  in  my  good  character.  Now,  how  could  I 
look  them  in  the  face  ?  My  self-respect  was  gone  !  I 
had  resolved  that  I  would  be  virtuous,  though  I  was  a 
slave.  I  had  said,  "  Let  the  storm  beat !  I  will  brave 
it  till  I  die."  And  now,  how  humiliated  I  felt ! 

I  went  to  my  grandmother.  My  lips  moved  to  make 
confession,  but  the  words  stuck  in  my  throat.  I  sat 
down  in  the  shade  of  a  tree  at  her  door  and  began  to 
sew.  I  think  she  saw  something  unusual  was  the 
matter  with  me.  The  mother  of  slaves  is  very  watch 
ful.  She  knows  there  is  no  security  for  her  children. 
After  they  have  entered  their  teens  she  lives  in  daily 
expectation  of  trouble.  This  leads  to  many  questions. 
If  the  girl  is  of  a  sensitive  nature,  timidity  keeps  her 
from  answering  truthfully,  and  this  well-meant  course 
has  a  tendency  to  drive  her  from  maternal  counsels. 
Presently,  in  came  my  mistress,  like  a  mad  woman, 
and  accused  me  concerning  her  husband.  My  grand 
mother,  whose  suspicions  had  been  previously  awak 
ened,  believed  what  she  said.  She  exclaimed,  "O 
Linda !  has  it  come  to  this  ?  I  had  rather  see  you 
dead  than  to  see  you  as  you  now  are.  You  are  a  dis 
grace  to  your  dead  mother."  She  tore  from  my  fin- 


88       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

gers  my  mother's  wedding  ring  and  her  silver  thimble. 
"  Go  away !  "  she  exclaimed,  "  and  never  come  to  my 
house,  again."  Her  reproaches  fell  so  hot  and  heavy, 
that  they  left  me  no  chance  to  answer.  Bitter  tears, 
such  as  the  eyes  never  shed  but  once,  were  my  only 
answer.  I  rose  from  my  seat,  but  fell  back  again,  sob 
bing.  She  did  not  speak  to  me ;  but  the  tears  were 
running  down  her  furrowed  cheeks,  and  they  scorched 
me  like  fire.  She  had  always  been  so  kind  to  me !  So 
kind  !  How  I  longed  to  throw  myself  at  her  feet,  and 
tell  her  all  the  truth !  But  she  had  ordered  me  to  go, 
and  never  to  come  there  again.  After  a  few  minutes, 
I  mustered  strength,  and  started  to  obey  her.  With 
what  feelings  did  I  now  close  that  little  gate,  which  I 
used  to  open  with  such  an  eager  hand  in  my  child 
hood  !  It  closed  upon  me  with  a  sound  I  never 
heard  before. 

Where  could  I  go  ?  I  was  afraid  to  return  to  my  mas 
ter's.  I  walked  on  recklessly,  not  caring  where  I.  went, 
or  what  would  become  of  me.  When  I  had  gone  four 
or  five  miles,  fatigue  compelled  me  to  stop.  I  sat 
down  on  the  stump  of  an  old  tree.  The  stars  were 
shining  through  the  boughs  above  me.  How  they 
mocked  me,  with  their  bright,  calm  light !  The  hours 
passed  by,  and  as  I  sat  there  alone  a  chilliness  and 
deadly  sickness  came  over  me.  I  sank  on  the  ground. 
My  mind  was  full  of  horrid  thoughts.  I  prayed  to  die  ; 
but  the  prayer  was  not  answered.  At  last,  with  great  ef 
fort  I  roused  myself,  and  walked  some  distance  further, 
to  the  house  of  a  woman  who  had  been  a  friend  of  my 
mother.  When  I  told  her  why  I  was  there,  she  spoke 
soothingly  to  me  ;  but  I  could  not  be  comforted. 


A  perilous  Paffage  in  the  Slave  Girl's  Life.     89 

thought  I  could  bear  my  shame  if  I  could  only  be  re 
conciled  to  my  grandmother.  I  longed  to  open  my 
heart  to  her.  I  thought  if  she  could  know  the  real 
state  of  the  case,  and  all  I  had  been  bearing  for  years, 
she  would  perhaps  judge  me  less  harshly.  My  friend 
advised  me  to  send  for  her.  I  did  so ;  but  days  of 
agonizing  suspense  passed  before  she  came.  Had  she 
utterly  forsaken  me  ?  No.  She  came  at  last.  I  knelt 
before  her,  and  told  her  the  things  that  had  poisoned 
my  life  ;  how  long  I  had  been  persecuted ;  that  I  saw 
no  way  of  escape  ;  and  in  an  hour  of  extremity  I  had 
become  desperate.  She  listened  in  silence.  I  told  her 
I  would  bear  any  thing  and  do  any  thing,  if  in  time 
I  had  hopes  of  obtaining  her  forgiveness.  I  begged 
of  her  to  pity  me,  for  my  dead  mother's  sake.  And 
she  did  pity  me.  She  did  not  say,  "  I  forgive  you ;  " 
but  she  looked  at  me  lovingly,  with  her  eyes  full  of 
tears.  She  laid  her  old  hand  gently  on  my  head,  and 
murmured,  "  Poor  child !  Poor  child !  " 

8* 


go        Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


XI. 

THE  NEW   TIE  TO  LIFE. 

I  RETURNED  to  my  good  grandmother's  house.  She 
had  an  interview  with  Mr.  Sands.  When  she  asked 
him  why  he  could  not  have  left  her  one  ewe  lamb,  — 
whether  there  were  not  plenty  of  slaves  who  did  not 
care  about  character,  —  he  made  no  answer ;  but  he 
spoke  kind  and  encouraging  words.  He  promised  to 
care  for  my  child,  and  to  buy  me,  be  the  conditions 
what  they  might. 

I  had  not  seen  Dr.  Flint  for  five  days.  I  had  never 
seen  him  since  I  made  the  avowal  to  him.  He  talked 
of  the  disgrace  I  had  brought  on  myself;  how  I  had 
sinned  against  my  master,  and  mortified  my  old  grand 
mother.  He  intimated  that  if  I  had  accepted  his  pro 
posals,  he,  as  a  physician,  could  have  saved  me  from 
exposure.  He  even  condescended  to  pity  me.  Could 
he  have  offered  wormwood  more  bitter  ?  He,  whose 
persecutions  had  been  the  cause  of  my  sin  ! 

"  Linda,"  said  he,  "  though  you  have  been  crim 
inal  towards  me,  I  feel  for  you,  and  I  can  pardon  you 
if  you  obey  my  wishes.  Tell  me  whether  the  fellow 
you  wanted  to  marry  is  the  father  of  your  child.  If 
you  deceive  me,  you  shall  feel  the  fires  of  hell." 

I  did  not  feel  as  proud  as  I  had  done.  My  strong 
est  weapon  with  him  was  gone.  I  was  lowered  in  my 
own  estimation,  and  had  resolved  to  bear  his  abuse  in 
silence.  But  when  he  spoke  contemptuously  of  the 


The  New  Tie  to  Life.  91 

lover  who  had  always  treated  me  honorably ;  when  I 
remembered  that  but  for  him  I  might  have  been  a 
virtuous,  tree,  and  happy  wife,  I  lost  my  patience. 
"  I  have  sinned  against  God  and  myself,"  I  replied ; 
"  but  not  against  you." 

He  clinched  his  teeth,  and  muttered,  "  Curse  you ! " 
He  came  towards  me,  with  ill-suppressed  rage,  and  ex 
claimed,  "  You  obstinate  girl !  I  could  grind  your 
bones  to  powder !  You  have  thrown  yourself  away  on 
some  worthless  rascal.  You  are  weak-minded,  and 
have  been  easily  persuaded  by  those  who  don't  care  a 
straw  for  you.  The  future  will  settle  accounts  between 
us.  You  are  blinded  now ;  but  hereafter  you  will  be 
convinced  that  your  master  was  your  best  friend.  My 
lenity  towards  you  is  a  proof  of  it.  I  might  have  pun 
ished  you  in  many  ways.  I  might  have  had  you 
whipped  till  you  fell  dead  under  the  lash.  But  I 
wanted  you  to  live ;  I  would  have  bettered  your  con 
dition.  Others  cannot  do  it.  You  are  my  slave. 
Your  mistress,  disgusted  by  your  conduct,  forbids  you 
to  return  to  the  house ;  therefore  I  leave  you  here  for 
the  present ;  but  I  shall  see  you  often.  I  will  call  to- 
morrqw." 

He  came  with  frowning  brows,  that  showed  a  dis 
satisfied  state  of  mind.  After  asking  about  my  health, 
he  inquired  whether  my  board  was  paid,  and  who 
visited  me.  He  then  went  on  to  say  that  he  had  neg 
lected  liis  duty ;  that  as  a  physician  there  were  cer 
tain  things  that  he  ought  to  have  explained  to  me. 
Then  ibllowed  talk  such  as  would  have  made  the  most 
shameless  blush.  He  ordered  me  to  stand  up  before 
him.  I  obeyed.  "  I  command  you,"  said  he,  "  to  tell 


92       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

me  whether  the  father  of  your  child  is  white  or  black." 
I  hesitated.  "  Answer  me  this  instant !  "  he  exclaimed. 
I  did  answer.  He  sprang  upon  me  like  a  wolf,  and 
grabbed  my  arm  as  if  he  would  have  broken  it.  "  Do 
you  love  him  ?  "  said  he,  in  a  hissing  tone. 

"  I  am  thankful  that  I  do  not  despise  him,"  I  re 
plied. 

He  raised  his  hand  to  strike  me  ;  but  it  fell  again. 
I  don't  know  what  arrested  the  blow.  He  sat  down, 
with  lips  tightly  compressed.  At  last  he  spoke.  "  I 
came  here,"  said  he,  "  to  make  you  a  friendly  proposi 
tion  ;  but  your  ingratitude  chafes  me  beyond  endur 
ance.  You  turn  aside  all  my  good  intentions  towards 
you.  I  don't  know  what  it  is  that  keeps  me  from  kill 
ing  you."  Again  he  rose,  as  if  he  had  a  mind  to 
strike  me. 

But  he  resumed.  "  On  one  condition  I  will  forgive 
your  insolence  and  crime.  You  must  henceforth 
have  no  communication  of  any  kind  with  the  father 
of  your  child.  You  must  not  ask  any  thing  from  him, 
or  receive  any  thing  from  him.  I  will  take  care  of 
you  and  your  child.  You  had  better  promise  this  at 
once,  and  not  wait  till  you  are  deserted  by  him.,  This 
is  the  last  act  of  mercy  I  shall  show  towards  you." 

I  said  something  about  "being  unwilling  to  have  my 
child  supported  by  a  man  who  had  cursed  it  and  me 
also.  He  rejoined,  that  a  woman  who  had  sunk  to  my 
level  had  no  right  to  expect  any  thing  else.  He  asked, 
for  the  last  time,  would  I  accept  his  kindness  ?  I  an 
swered  that  I  would  not. 

"  Very  well,"  said  he  ;  "  then  take  the  consequences 
of  your  wayward  course.  Never  look  to  me  for  help. 


The  New  Tie  to  Life.  93 

You  are  my  slave,  and  shall  always  be  my  slave.  I 
will  never  sell  you,  that  you  may  depend  upon." 

Hope  died  away  in  my  heart  as  he  closed  the  door 
after  him.  I  had  calculated  that  in  his  rage  he  would 
sell  me  to  a  slave-trader  ;  and  I  knew  the  father  of  my 
child  was  on  the  watch  to  buy  me. 

About  this  time  my  uncle  Phillip  was  expected  to 
return  from  a  voyage.  The  day  before  his  departure 
I  had  officiated  as  bridesmaid  to  a  young  friend.  My 
heart  was  then  ill  at  ease,  but  my  smiling  countenance 
did  not  betray  it.  Only  a  year  had  passed  ;  but  what 
fearful  changes  it  had  wrought !  My  heart  had  grown 
gray  in  misery.  Lives  that  flash  in  sunshine,  and  lives 
that  are  born  in  tears,  receive  their  hue  from  circum 
stances.  None  of  us  know  what  a  year  may  bring 
forth. 

I  felt  no  joy  when  they  told  me  my  uncle  had  come. 
He  wanted  to  see  me,  though  he  knew  what  had  hap 
pened.  I  shrank  from  him  at  first ;  but  at  last  con 
sented  that  he  should  come  to  my  room.  He  received 
me  as  he  always  had  done.  0,  how  my  heart  smote 
me  when  I  felt  his  tears  on  my  burning  cheeks  !  The 
words  of  my  grandmother  came  to  my  mind,  —  "  Per 
haps  your  mother  and  father  are  taken  from  the  evil 
days  to  come."  My  disappointed  heart  could  now 
praise  God  that  it  was  so.  But  why,  thought  I,  did 
my  relatives  ever  cherish  hopes  for  me  ?  What  was 
there  to  save  me  from  the  usual  fate  of  slave  girls  ? 
Many  more  beautiful  and  more  intelligent  than  I  had 
experienced  a  similar  fate,  or  a  far  worse  one.  How 
could  they  hope  that  I  should  escape  ? 

My  uncle's  stay  was  short,  and  I  was  not  sorry  for 


94       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

Q| 

it.  I  was  too  ill  in  mind  and  body  to  enjoy  my  friends 
as  I  had  done.  For  some  weeks  I  was  unable  to  leave 
my  bed.  I  could  not  have  any  doctor  but  my  master, 
and  I  would  not  have  him  sent  for.  At  last,  alarmed 
by  my  increasing  illness,  they  sent  for  him.  I  was  very 
weak  and  nervous ;  and  as  soon  as  he  entered  the 
room,  I  began  to  scream.  They  told  him  my  state 
was  very  critical.  He  had  no  wish  to  hasten  me  out 
of  the  world,  and  he  withdrew. 

When  my  babe  was  born,  they  said  it  was  premature. 
It  weighed  only  four  pounds  ;  but  God  let  it  live.  I 
heard  the  doctor  say  I  could  not  survive  till  morning. 
I  had  often  prayed  for  death  ;  but  now  I  did  not  want 
to  die,  unless  my  child  could  die  too.  Many  weeks 
passed  before  I  was  able  to  leave  my  bed.  I  was  a 
mere  wreck  of  my  former  self.  For  a  year  there  was 
scarcely  a  day  when  I  was  free  from  chills  and  fever. 
My  babe  also  was  sickly.  His  little  limbs  were  often 
racked  with  pain.  Dr.  Flint  continued  his  visits,  to 
look  after  my  health  ;  and  he  did  not  fail  to  remind  me 
that  my  child  was  an  addition  to  his  stock  of  slaves. 

I  felt  too  feeble  to  dispute  with  him,  and  listened  to 
his  remarks  in  silence.  His  visits  were  less  frequent ; 
hut  his  busy  spirit  could  not  remain  quiet.  He  em 
ployed  my  brother  in  his  office,  and  he  was  made  the 
medium  of  frequent  notes  and  messages  to  me.  Wil 
liam  was  a  bright  lad,  and  of  much  use  to  the  doctor, 
Pie  had  learned  to  put  up  medicines,  to  leech,  cup,  and 
bleed.  He  had  taught  himself  to  read  and  spell.  I 
was  proud  of  my  brother ;  and  the  old  doctor  sus 
pected  as  much.  One  day,  when  I  had  not  seen  him 
for  several  weeks,  J  heard  his  steps  approaching  the 


The  New  Tie  to  Life.  95 

door.  I  dreaded  the  encounter,  and  hid  myself.  He 
inquired  for  me,  of  course ;  but  I  was  nowhere  to  be 
found.  He  went  to  his  office,  and  despatched  William 
with  a  note.  The  color  mounted  to  my  brother's  face 
when  he  gave  it  to  me ;  and  he  said,  "  Don't  you  hate 
me,  Linda,  for  bringing  you  these  things  ?  "  I  told 
him  I  could  riot  blame  him ;  he  was  a  slave,  and 
obliged  to  obey  his  master's  will.  The  note  ordered 
me  to  come  to  his  office.  I  went.  He  demanded  to 
know  where  I  was  when  he  called.  I  told  him  I  was 
at  home.  He  flew  into  a  passion,  and  said  he  knew 
better.  Then  he  launched  out  upon  his  usual  themes,  — 
my  crimes  against  him,  and  my  ingratitude  for  his  for 
bearance.  The  laws  were  laid  down  to  me  anew,  and 
I  was  dismissed.  I  felt  humiliated  that  my  brother 
should  stand  by,  and  listen  to  such  language  as  would 
be  addressed  only  to  a  slave.  Poor  boy!  He  was 
powerless  to  defend  me  ;  but  I  saw  the  tears,  which  he 
vainly  strove  to  keep  back.  This  manifestation  of  feel 
ing  irritated  the  doctor.  William  could  do  nothing  to 
please  him.  One  morning  he  did  not  arrive  at  the 
office  so  early  as  usual ;  and  that  circumstance 
afforded  his  master  an  opportunity  to  vent  his  spleen. 
He  was  put  in  jail.  The  next  day  my  brother  sent  a 
trader  to  the  doctor,  with  a  request  to  be  sold.  His 
master  was  greatly  incensed  at  what  he  called  his  in 
solence.  He  said  he  had  put  him  there  to  reflect  upon 
his  bad  conduct,  and  he  certainly  was  not  giving  any 
evidence  of  repentance.  For  two  days  he  harassed 
himself  to  find  somebody  to  do  his  office  work ;  but 
every  thing  went  wrong  without  William.  He  was 
released,  and  ordered  to  take  his  old  stand,  with  many 


96       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

threats,  if  he  was  not   careful   about   his  future  be- 
havior. 

As  the  months  passed  on,  my  boy  improved  in  health. 
When  he  was  a  year  old,  they  callod  him  beautiful. 
The  little  vine  was  taking  deep  root  in  my  existence, 
though  its  clinging  fondness  excited  a  mixture  of  love 
and  pain.  When  I  was  most  sorely  oppressed  I  found 
a  solace  in  his  smiles.  I  loved  to  watch  his  infant 
slumbers  ;  but  always  there  was  a  dark  cloud  over  my 
enjoyment.  I  could  never  forget  that  he  was  a  slave. 
Sometimes  I  wished  that  he  might  die  in  infancy.  God 
tried  me.  My  darling  became  very  ill.  The  bright 
eyes  grew  dull,  and  the  little  feet  and  hands  were  so 
icy  cold  that  I  thought  death  had  already  touched 
them.  I  had  prayed  for  his  death,  but  never  so  ear 
nestly  as  I  now  prayed  for  his  life  ;  and  my  prayer  was 
heard.  Alas,  what  mockery  it  is  for  a  slave  mother 
to  try  to  pray  back  her  dying  child  to  life  !  Death  is 
better  than  slavery.  It  was  a  sad  thought  that  I  had 
no  name  to  give  my  child.  His  father  caressed  him 
and  treated  him  kindly,  whenever  he  had  a  chance  to 
see  him.  He  was  not  unwilling  that  he  should  bear 
his  name ;  but  he  had  no  legal  claim  to  it ;  and  if  I 
had  bestowed  it  upon  him,  my  master  would  have  re 
garded  it  as  a  new  crime,  a  new  piece  of  insolence, 
and  would,  perhaps,  revenge  it  on  the  boy.  0,  tho 
serpent  of  Slavery  has  many  and  poisonous  fangs ! 


Fear  of  Insurrection.  97 


XII. 

FEAR  OF  INSURRECTION. 

NOT  far  from  this  time  Nat  Turner's  insurrection 
broke  out ;  and  the  news  threw  our  town  into  great 
commotion.  Strange  that  they  should  be  alarmed, 
when  their  slaves  were  so  "  contented  and  happy  "  ! 
But  so  it  was. 

It  was  always  the  custom  to  have  a  muster  every 
year.  On  that  occasion  every  white  man  shouldered 
his  musket.  The  citizens  and  the  so-called  country 
gentlemen  wore  military  uniforms.  The  poor  whites 
took  their  places  in  the  ranks  in  every-day  dress,  some 
without  shoes,  some  without  hats.  This  grand  occa 
sion  had  already  passed  ;  and  when  the  slaves  were 
told  there  was  to  be  another  muster,  they  were  sur 
prised  and  rejoiced.  Poor  creatures  !  They  thought 
it  was  going  to  be  a  holiday.  I  was  informed  of  the 
true  state  of  affairs,  and  imparted  it  to  the  few  I  could 
trust.  Most  gladly  would  I  have  proclaimed  it  to 
every  slave  ;  but  I  dared  not.  All  could  not  be  relied 
on.  Mighty  is  the  power  of  the  torturing  lash. 

By  sunrise,  people  were  pouring  in  from  every  quar 
ter  within  twenty  miles  of  the  town.  I  knew  the 
houses  were  to  be  searched  ;  and  I  expected  it  would 
be  done  by  country  bullies  and  the  poor  whites.  I 
knew  nothing  annoyed  them  so  much  as  to  see  colored 
people  living  in  comfort  and  respectability ;  so  I  made 
arrangements  for  them  with  especial  care.  I  arranged 

9 


98        Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

every  thing  in  my  grandmother's  house  as  neatly  as 
possible.  I  put  white  quilts  on  the  beds,  and  deco 
rated  some  of  the  rooms  with  flowers.  When  all  was 
arranged,  I  sat  down  at  the  window  to  watch.  Far  as 
my  eye  could  reach,  it  rested  on  a  motley  crowd  of 
soldiers.  Drums  and  fifes  were  discoursing  martial 
music.  The  men  were  divided  into  companies  of  six 
teen,  each  headed  by  a  captain.  Orders  were  given, 
and  the  wild  scouts  rushed  in  every  direction,  wherever 
a  colored  face  was  to  be  found. 

/  It  was  a  grand  opportunity  for  the  low  whites,  who 
/  had  no  negroes  of  their  own  to  scourge.  They  exulted 
in  such  a  chance  to  exercise  a  little  brief  authority, 
and  show  their  subserviency  to  the  slaveholders ;  not 
reflecting  that  the  power  which  trampled  on  the  col 
ored  people  also  kept  themselves  in  poverty,  ignorance, 
and  moral  degradation.  Those  who  never  witnessed 
such  scenes  can  hardly  believe  what  I  know  was  in 
flicted  at  this  time  on  innocent  men,  women,  and  chil 
dren,  against  whom  there  was  not  the  slightest  ground 
for  suspicion.  Colored  people  and  slaves  who  lived  in 
remote  parts  of  the  town  suffered  in  an  especial  manner. 
In  some  cases  the  searchers  scattered  powder  and  shot 
among  their  clothes,  and  then  sent  other  parties  to  find 
them,  and  bring  them  forward  as  proof  that  they  were 
plotting  insurrection.  Everywhere  men,  women,  and 
children  were  whipped  till  the  blood  stood  in  puddles 
at  their  feet.  Some  received  five  hundred  lashes  ; 
others  were  tied  hands  and  feet,  and  tortured  with  a 
bucking  paddle,  which  blisters  the  skin  terribly.  The 
dwellings  of  the  colored  people,  unless  they  happened 
to  be  protected  by  some  influential  white  person,  who 


Fear  of  Infurrection.  99 

was  nigh  at  hand,  were  robbed  of  clothing  and  every 
thing  else  the  marauders  thought  worth  carrying  away. 
All  day  long  these  unfeeling  wretches  went  round,  like 
a  troop  of  demons,  terrifying  and  tormenting  the  help 
less.  At  night,  they  formed  themselves  into  patrol 
bands,  and  went  wherever  they  chose  %nong  the  col 
ored  people,  acting  out  their  brutal  will.  Many  women 
hid  themselves  in  woods  and  swamps,  to  keep  out  of 
their  way.  If  any  of  the  husbands  or  fathers  told  of 
these  outrages,  they  were  tied  up  to  the  public  whip 
ping  post,  and  cruelly  scourged  for  telling  lies  about 
white  men.  •The  consternation  was  universal.  No 
two  people  that  had  the  slightest  tinge  of  color  in  their 
faces  dared  to  be  seen  talking  together. 

I  entertained  no  positive  fears  about  our  household, 
because  we  were  in  the  midst  of  white  families  who 
would  protect  us.  We  were  ready  to  receive  the 
soldiers  whenever  they  came.  It  was  not  long  before 
we  heard  the  tramp  of  feet  and  the  sound  of  voices. 
The  door  was  rudely  pushed  open  ;  and  in  they  tum 
bled,  like  a  pack  of  hungry  wolves.  They  snatched 
at  every  thing  within  their  reach.  Every  box,  trunk, 
closet,  and  corner  underwent  a  thorough  examination. 
A  box  in  one  of  the  drawers  containing  some  silver 
change  was  eagerly  pounced  upon.  When  I  stepped 
forward  to  take  it  from  them,  one  of  the  soldiers  turned 
and  said  angrily,  "  What  d'ye  foller  us  fur  ?  D'ye 
s'pose  white  folks  is  come  to- steal  ?  " 

I  replied,  "  You  have  come  to  search  ;  but  you  have 
searched  that  box,  and  I  will  take  it,  if  you  please." 

At  that  moment  I  saw  a  white  gentleman  who  was 
friendly  to  us  ;  and  I  called  to  him,  and  asked  him  to 


loo      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

have  the  goodness  to  come  in  and  stay  till  the  search 
was  over.  He  readily  complied.  His  entrance  into 
the  house  brought  in  the  captain  of  the  company, 
whose  business  it  was  to  guard  the  outside  of  the 
house,  and  see  that  none  of  the  inmates  left  it.  This 
officer  was  MioLitch,  the  wealthy  slaveholder  whom  I 
mentioned,  in  the  account  of  neighboring  planters,  as 
being  notorious  for  his  cruelty.  He  felt  above  soiling 
his  hands  with  the  search.  He  merely  gave  orders  ; 
and,  if  a  bit  of  writing  was  discovered,  it  was  carried 
to  him  by  his  ignorant  followers,  who  were  unable  to 
read.  fc 

My  grandmother  had  a  large  trunk  of  bedding  and 
table  cloths.  "When  that  was  opened,  there  was  a  great 
shout  of  surprise  ;  and  one  exclaimed,  "  Where'd  the 
damned  niggers  git  all  dis  sheet  an'  table  clarf  ?  " 

My  grandmother,  emboldened  by  the  presence  of  our 
white  protector,  said,  "  You  may  be  sure  we  didn't 
pilfer  'em  from  your  houses." 

"  Look  here,  mammy,"  said  a  grim-looking  fellow 
without  any  coat,  "  you  seem  to  feel  mighty  gran' 
'cause  you  got  all  them  'ere  fixens.  White  folks 
oughter  have  'em  all." 

His  remarks  were  interrupted  by  a  chorus  of  voices 
shouting,  "  We's  got  'em  !  We's  got  'em  !  Dis  'ere 
yaller  gal's  got  letters  !  " 

There  was  a  general  rush  for  the  supposed  letter, 
which,  upon  examination,  proved  to  be  some  verses 
written  to  me  by  a  friend.  In  packing  away  my 
things,  I  had  overlooked  them.  When  their  captain 
informed  them  of  their  Contents,  they  seemed  much 
disappointed.  He  inquired  of  me  who  wrote  them. 


Fear  of  Infurrection.  1O1 

I  told  him  it  was  one  of  my  friends.  "  Can  you  read 
them  ? "  he  asked.  When  I  told  him  I  could,  he 
swore,  and  raved,  and  tore  the  paper  into  bits. 
"  Bring  me  all  your  letters  !  "  said  he,  in  a  com 
manding  tone.  I  told  him  I  had  none.  "  Don't  be 
afraid,"  he  continued,  in  an  insinuatin^way.  "  Bring 
them  all  to  me.  Nobody  shall  do  you  any  harm." 
Seeing  I  did  not  move  to  obey  him,  his  pleasant  tone 
changed  to  oaths  and  threats.  "  Who  writes  to  you  ? 
half  free  niggers  ?  "  inquired  he.  I  replied,  "  0,  no ; 
most  of  my  letters  are  from  white  people.  Some 
request  me  to  burn  them  after  they  are  read,  and 
some  I  destroy  without  reading." 

An  exclamation  of  surprise  from  some  of  the  com 
pany  put  a  stop  to  our  conversation.  Some  silver 
spoons  which  ornamented  an  old-fashioned  buffet  had 
just  been  discovered.  My  grandmother  was  in  the 
habit  of  preserving  fruit  for  many  ladies  in  the  town, 
and  of  preparing  suppers  for  parties  ;  consequently 
she  had  many  jars  of  preserves.  The  closet  that  con 
tained  these  was  next  invaded,  and  the  contents  tasted. 
One  of  them,  who  was  helping  himself  freely,  tapped 
his  neighbor  on  the  shoulder,  and  said,  "  Wai  done ! 
Don't  wonder  de  niggers  want  to  kill  all  de  white 
folks,  when  dey  live  on  'sarves  "  [meaning  preserves], 
I  stretched  out  my  hand  to  take  the  jar,  saying,  "  You 
were  not  sent  here  to  search  for  sweetmeats." 

"  And  what  were  we  sent  for  ?  "  said  the  captain, 
bristling  up  to  me.  I  evaded  the  question. 

The  search  of  the  house  w|is  completed,  and  noth 
ing  found  to  condemn  us.  jThey  next  proceeded  to 
the  garden,  and  knocked  about  every  bush  and  vine, 

9* 


1O2      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

with  no  better  success.  The  captain  called  his  men 
together,  and,  after  a  short  consultation,  the  order  to 
inarch  was  given.  As  they  passed  out  of  the  gate, 
the  captain  turned  back,  and  pronounced  a  maledic 
tion  on  the  house.  He  said  it  ougbt  to  be  burned  to 
the  ground,  ^Hfc.  each  of  its  inmates  receive  thirty- 
nine  lashes.  We  came  out  of  this  affair  very  fortu 
nately;  not  losing  any  thing  except  some  wearing 
apparel. 

Towards  evening  the  turbulence  increased.  The 
soldiers,  stimulated  by  drink,  committed  still  greater 
cruelties.  Shrieks  and  shouts  continually  rent  the 
air.  Not  daring  to  go  to  the  door,  I  peeped  under  the 
window  curtain.  I  saw  a  mob  dragging  along  a  num 
ber  of  colored  people,  each  white  man,  with  his  musket 
upraised,  threatening  instant  death  if  they  did  not  stop 
their  shrieks.  Among  the  prisoners  was  a  respectable 
old  colored  minister.  They  had  found  a  few  parcels 
of  shot  in  his  house,  which  his  wife  had  for  years  used 
to  balance  her  scales.  For  this  they  were  going  to 
shoot  him  on  Court  House  Green.  What  a  spectacle 
•was  that  for  a  civilized  country !  A  rabble,  staggering 
under  intoxication,  assuming  to  be  the  administrators 
of  justice  ! 

The  better  class  of  the  community  exerted  their 
influence  to  save  the  innocent,  persecuted  people  ;  and 
in  several  instances  they  succeeded,  by  keeping  them 
shut  up  in  jail  till  the  excitement  abated.  At  last  the 
white  citizens  found  that  their  own  property  was  not 
safe  from  the  lawless  rabble  they  had  summoned  to 
protect  them.  They  ralOTd  the  drunken  swarm,  drove 
them  back  into  the  country,  and  set  a  guard  over  tho 
town. 


Fear  of  Infurrection.  103 

The  next  day,  the  town  patrols  were  commissioned 
to  search  colored  people  that  lived  out  of  the  city; 
and  the  most  shocking  outrages  were  committed  with 
perfect  impunity.  Every  day  for  a  fortnight,  if  I 
looked  out,  I  saw  horsemen  with  some  poor  panting 
negro  tied  to  their  saddles,  and  compflflted  by  the  lash 
to  keep  up  with  their  speed,  till  they  arrived  at  the 
jail  yard.  Those  who  had  been  whipped  too  unmer 
cifully  to  walk  were  washed  with  brine,  tossed  into  a 
cart,  and  carried  to  jail.  One  black  man,  who  had 
not  fortitude  to  endure  scourging,  promised  to  give 
information  about  the  conspiracy.  But  it  turned  out 
that  he  knew  nothing  at  all.  He  had  not  even  heard 
the  name  of  Nat  Turner.  The  poor  fellow  had,  how 
ever,  made  up  a  story,  which  augmented  his  own 
sufferings  and  those  of  the  colored  people. 

The  day  patrol  continued  for  some  weeks,  and  at 
sundown  a  night  guard  was  substituted.  Nothing  at 
all  was  proved  against  the  colored  people,  bond  or  free. 
The  wrath  of  the  slaveholders  was  somewhat  appeased 
by  the  capture  of  Nat  Turner.  The  imprisoned  were 
released.  The  slaves  were  sent  to  their  masters,  and 
the  free  were  permitted  to  return  to  their  ravaged 
homes.  Visiting  was  strictly  forbidden  on  the  planta 
tions.  The  slaves  begged  the  privilege  of  again  meet 
ing  at  their  little  church  in  the  woods,  with  their 
burying  ground  around  it.  It  was  built  by  the  colored 
people,  and  they  had  no  higher  happiness  than  to  meet 
there  and  sing  hymns  together,  and  pour  out  their 
hearts  in  spontaneous  prayer.  Their  request  was 
denied,  and  Ihe  church  wa)P  demolished.  They  were 
permitted  to" attend  the  white  churches,  a  certain  por- 


104      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

tion  of  the  galleries  being  appropriated  to  their  use. 
There,  when  every  body  else  had  partaken  of  the 
communion,  and  the  benediction  had  been  pronounced, 
the  minister  said,  "  Come  down,  now,  my  colored 
friends."  They  obeyed  the  summons,  and  partook  of 
the  bread  and<lrine,  in  commemoration  of  the  meek 
and  lowly  Jesus,  who  said,  "  God  is  your  Father,  and 
all  ye  are  brethren." 


The  Church  and  Slavery.  105 


XIII. 

THE   CHURCH  AND   SLAVERY. 

• 

AFTER  the  alarm  caused  by  Nat  Turner's  insurrection 
had  subsided,  the  slaveholders  came  to  the  conclusion 
that  it  would  be  well  to  give  the  slaves  enough  of  reli 
gious  instruction  to  keep  them  from  murdering  their 
masters.  The  Episcopal  clergyman  offered  to  hold  a 
separate  service  on  Sundays  for  their  benefit.  His 
colored  members  were  very  few,  and  also  very  respect 
able  —  a  fact  which  I  presume  had  some  weight  with 
him.  The  difficulty  was  to  decide  on  a  suitable  place 
for  them  to  worship.  The  Methodist  and  Baptist 
churches  admitted  them  in  the  afternoon  ;  but  their 
carpets  and  cushions  were  not  so  costly  as  those  at  the 
Episcopal  church.  It  was  at  last  decided  that  they 
should  meet  at  the  house  of  a  free  colored  man,  who 
was  a  member. 

I  was  invited  to  attend,  because  I  could  read.  Sun 
day  evening  came,  and,  trusting  to  the  cover  of  night, 
I  ventured  out.  I  rarely  ventured  out  by  daylight, 
for  I  always  went  with  fear,  expecting  at  every  turn  to 
encounter  Dr.  Flint,  who  was  sure  to  turn  me  back,  or 
order  me  to  his  office  to  inquire  where  I  got  my  bon 
net,  or  some  other  article  of  dress.  When  the  Rev. 
Mr.  Pike  came,  there  were  some  twenty  persons  pres 
ent.  The  reverend  gentleman  knelt  in  prayer,  then 
seated  himself,  and  requested*  all  present,  who  could 
read,  to  open  their  books,  while  he  gave  out  the  por 
tions  he  wished  them  to  repeat  or  respond  to. 


lo6      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

His  text  was,  "  Servants,  be  obedient  to  them  that 
are  your  masters  according  to  the  flesh,  with  fear 
and  trembling,  in  singleness  of  your  heart,  as  unto 
Christ." 

Pious  Mr.  Pike  brushed  up  his  hair  till  it  stood  up 
right,  and,  in*  deep,  solemn  tones,  began  :  "  Hearken, 
ye  servants  !  Give  strict  heed  unto  my  words.  You 
are  rebellious  sinners.  Your  hearts  are  filled  with  all 
manner  of  evil.  Tis  the  devil  who  tempts  you.  God 
is  angry  with  you,  and  will  surely  punish  you,  if  you 
don't  forsake  your  wicked  ways.  You  that  live  in 
town  are  eye-servants  behind  your  master's  back. 
Instead  of  serving  your  masters  faithfully,  which  is 
pleasing  in  the  sight  of  your  heavenly  Master,  you  are 
idle,  and  shirk  your  work.  God  sees  you.  You  tell 
lies.  God  hears  you.  Instead  of  being  engaged  in 
worshipping  him,  you  are  hidden  away  somewhere, 
feasting  on  your  master's  substance ;  tossing  coffee- 
grounds  with  some  wicked  fortuneteller,  or  cutting 
cards  with  another  old  hag.  Your  masters  may  not 
find  you  out,  but  God  sees  you,  and  will  punish  you. 
O,  the  depravity  of  your  hearts  !  When  your  master's 
work  is  done,  are  you  quietly  together,  thinking  of  the 
goodness  of  God  to  such  sinful  creatures  ?  No ;  you 
are  quarrelling,  and  tying  up  little  bags  of  roots  to 
bury  under  the  door-steps  to  poison  each  other  with. 
God  sees  you.  You  men  steal  away  to  every  grog 
shop  to  sell  your  master's  corn,  that  you  may  buy 
rum  to  drink.  God  sees  you.  You  sneak  into  the 
back  streets,  or  among  the  bushes,  to  pitch  coppers. 
Although  your  masters*  may  not  find  you  out,  God 
sees  you  ;  and  he  will  punish  you.  You  must  forsake 


The  Church  and  Slavery.  107 

your  sinful  ways,  and  be  faithful  servants.  Obey  your 
old  master  and  your  young  master  —  your  old  mistress 
and  your  young  mistress.  If  you  disobey  your  earthly 
master,  you  offend  your  heavenly  Master.  You  must 
obey  God's  commandments.  When  you  go  from  here, 
don't  stop  at  the  corners  of  the  streets  to  talk,  but  go 
directly  home,  and  let  your  master  and  mistress  see 
that  you  have  come." 

The  benediction  was  pronounced.  We  went  home, 
highly  amused  at  brother  Pike's  gospel  teaching,  and 
we  determined  to  hear  him  again.  I  went  the  next 
Sabbath  evening,  and  heard  pretty  much  a  repetition 
of  the  last  discourse.  At  the  close  of  the  meeting, 
Mr.  Pike  informed  us  that  he  found  it  very  inconven 
ient  to  meet  at  the  friend's  house,  and  he  should  be 
glad  to  see  us,  every  Sunday  evening,  at  his  own 
kitchen. 

I  went  home  with  the  feeling  that  I  had  heard  the 
Reverend  Mr.  Pike  for  the  last  time.  Some  of  his 
members  repaired  to  his  house,  and  found  that  the 
kitchen  sported  two  tallow  candles ;  the  first  time,  I 
am  sure,  since  its  present  occupant  owned  it,  for  the 
servants  never  had  any  thing  but  pine  knots.  It  was 
so  long  before  the  reverend  gentleman  descended  from 
his  comfortable  parlor  that  the  slaves  left,  and  went  to 
enjoy  a  Methodist  shout.  They  never  seem  so  happy 
as  when  shouting  and  singing  at  religious  meetings. 
Many  of  them  are  sincere,  and  nearer  to  the  gate  of 
heaven  than  sanctimonious  Mr.  Pike,  and  other  long- 
faced  Christians,  who  see  wounded  Samaritans,  and 
pass  by  on  the  other  side. 

The  slaves  generally  compose  their  own  songs  and 


io8     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

hymns  ;  and  they  do  not  trouble  their  heads  much  about 
the  measure.     They  often  sing  the  following  verses : 

"  Old  Satan  is  one  busy  ole  man  ; 

He  rolls  dem  blocks  all  in  my  way ; 
But  Jesus  is  my  bosom  friend; 
He  rolls  dem  blocks  away. 

"  If  I  had  died  when  I  was  young, 

Den  how  my  stam'ring  tongue  would  have  sung ; 
But  I  am  ole,  and  now  I  stand 
A  narrow  chance  for  to  tread  dat  heavenly  land." 

I  well  remember  one  occasion  when  I  attended  a 
Methodist  class  meeting.  I  went  with  a  burdened 
spirit,  and  happened  to  sit  next  a  poor,  bereaved 
mother,  whose  heart  was  still  heavier  than  mine. 
The  class  leader  was  the  town  constable  —  a  man  who 
bought  and  sold  slaves,  who  whipped  his  brethren  and 
sisters  of  the  church  at  the  public  whipping  post,  in 
jail  or  out  of  jail.  He  was  ready  to  perform  that 
Christian  office  any  where  for  fifty  cents.  This  white- 
faced,  black-hearted  brother  came  near  us,  and  said  to 
the  stricken  woman,  "  Sister,  can't  you  tell  us  how  the 
Lord  deals  with  your  soul  ?  Do  you  love  him  as  you 
did  formerly  ? " 

She  rose  to  her  feet,  and  said,  in  piteous  tones, 
"  My  Lord  and  Master,  help  me  !  My  load  is  more 
than  I  can  bear.  God  has  hid  himself  from  me,  and 
I  am  left  in  darkness  and  misery."  Then,  striking 
her  breast,  she  continued,  "  I  can't  tell  you  what  is  in 
here  !  They've  got  all  my  children.  Last  week  they 
took  the  last  one.  God  only  knows  where  they've 
sold  her.  They  let  me  have  her  sixteen  years,  and 
then 0 !  0 !  Pray  for  her  brothers  and  sisters ! 


The  Church  and  Slavery.  109 

I've  got  nothing  to  live  for  now.  God  make  my  time 
short !  " 

She  sat  down,  quivering  in  every  limb.  I  saw  that 
constable  class  leader  become  crimson  in  the  face  with 
suppressed  laughter,  while  he  held  up  his  handker 
chief,  that  those  who  were  weeping  for  the  poor  wo 
man's  calamity  might  not  see  his  merriment.  Then, 
with  assumed  gravity,  he  said  to  the  bereaved  mother, 
"  Sister,  pray  to  the  Lord  that  every  dispensation  of 
his  divine  will  may  be  sanctified  to  the  good  of  your 
poor  needy  soul !  " 

The  congregation  struck  up  a  hymn,  and  sung  as 
though  they  were  as  free  as  the  birds  that  warbled 
round  us,  — 

"  Ole  Satan  thought  he  had  a  mighty  aim ; 
He  missed  my  soul,  and  caught  my  sins. 
Cry  Amen,  cry  Amen,  cry  Amen  to  God ! 

"  He  took  my  sins  upon  his  back  ; 
Went  muttering  and  grumbling  down  to  hell. 
Cry  Amen,  cry  Amen,  cry  Amen  to  God ! 

"  Ole  Satan's  church  is  here  below. 
Up  to  God's  free  church  I  hope  to  go. 
Cry  Amen,  cry  Amen,  cry  Amen  to  God !  " 

Precious  are  such  moments  to  the  poor  slaves.  If 
you  were  to  hear  them  at  such  times,  you  might  think 
they  were  happy.  But  can  that  hour  of  singing  and 
shouting  sustain  them  through  the  dreary  week,  toiling 
without  wages,  under  constant  dread  of  the  lash  ? 

The  Episcopal  clergyman,  who,  ever  since  my  earli 
est  recollection,  had  been  a  sort  of  god  among  the 
slaveholders,  concluded,  as  his  family  was  large,  that 
he  must  go  where  money  was  more  abundant.  A 

10 


l  io      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

very  different  clergyman  took  bis  place.  The  change 
was  very  agreeable  to  the  colored  people,  who  said, 
"  God  has  sent  us  a  good  man  this  time."  They  loved 
him,  and  their  children  followed  him  for  a  smile  or  a 
kind  word.  Even  the  slaveholders  felt  his  influence. 
He  brought  to  the  rectory  five  slaves.  His  wife  taught 
them  to  read  and  write,  and  to  be  useful  to  her  and 
themselves.  As  soon  as  he  was  settled,  he  turned  his 
attention  to  the  needy  slaves  around  him.  He  urged 
upon  his  parishioners  the  duty  of  having  a  meeting 
expressly  for  them  every  Sunday,  with  a  sermon 
adapted  to  their  comprehension.  After  much  argu 
ment  and  importunity,  it  was  finally  agreed  that  they 
might  occupy  the  gallery  of  the  church  on  Sunday 
evenings.  Many  colored  people,  hitherto  unaccus 
tomed  to  attend  church,  now  gladly  went  to  hear  the 
gospel  preached.  The  sermons  were  simple,  and  they 
understood  them.  Moreover,  it  was  the  first  time  they 
had  ever  been  addressed  as  human  beings.  It  was  not 
long  before  his  white  parishioners  began  to  be  dissatis 
fied.  He  was  accused  of  preaching  better  sermons  to 
the  negroes  than  he  did  to  them.  He  honestly  con 
fessed  that  he  bestowed  more  pains  upon  those  sermons 
than  upon  any  others ;  for  the  slaves  were  reared  in 
such  ignorance  that  it  was  a  difficult  task  to  adapt  him 
self  to  their  comprehension.  Dissensions  arose  in  the 
parish.  Some  wanted  he  should  preach  to  them  in 
the  evening,  and  to  the  slaves  in  the  afternoon.  In  the 
midst  of  these  disputings  his  wife  died,  after  a  very 
short  illness.  Her  slaves  gathered  round  her  dying 
bed  in  great  sorrow.  She  said,  "  I  have  tried  to  do 
you  good  and  promote  your  happiness ;  and  if  I  have 


The  Church  and  Slavery.  ill 

failed,  it  has  not  been  for  want  of  interest  in  your 
welfare.  Do  not  weep  for  me  ;  but  prepare  for  the 
new  duties  that  lie  before  you.  I  leave  you  all  free. 
May  we  meet  in  a  better  world."  Her  liberated  slaves 
were  sent  away,  with  funds  to  establish  them  comfort 
ably.  The  colored  people  will  long  bless  the  memory 
of  that  truly  Christian  woman.  Soon  after  her  death 
her  husband  preached  his  farewell  sermon,  and  many 
tears  were  shed  at  his  departure. 

Several  years  after,  he  passed  through  our  town  and 
preached  to  his  former  congregation.  In  his  afternoon 
sermon  he  addressed  the  colored  people.  "  My 
friends,"  said  he,  "  it  affords  me  great  happiness  to 
have  an  opportunity  of  speaking  to  you  again.  For 
two  years  I  have  been  striving  to  do  something  for  the 
colored  people  of  my  own  parish;  but  nothing  is  yet 
accomplished.  I  have  not  even  preached  a  sermon  to 
them.  Try  to  live  according  to  the  word  of  God,  my 
friends.  Your  skin  is  darker  than  mine ;  but  God 
judges  men  by  their  hearts,  not  by  the  color  of  their 
skins."  This  was  strange  doctrine  from  a  southern 
pulpit.  It  was  very  offensive  to  slaveholders.  They 
said  he  and  his  wife  had  made  fools  of  their  slaves, 
and  that  he  preached  like  a  fool  to  the  ijegroes. 

I  knew  an  old  black  man,  whose  piety  and  child 
like  trust  in  God  were  beautifttl  to  witness.  At  fifty- 
three  years  old  he  joined  the  Baptist  church.  He  had 
a  most  earnest  desire  to  learn  to  read.  He  thought  he 
should  know  how  to  serve  God  better  if  he  could  only 
read  the  Bible.  He  came  to  me,  and  begged  me  to 
teach  him.  He  said  he  could  not  pay  me,  for  he  had 


112      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

no  money ;  but  he  would  bring  me  nice  fruit  when 
the  season  for  it  came.  I  asked  bini  if  he  didn't  know 
it  was  contrary  to  law ;  and  that  slaves  were  whipped 
and  imprisoned  for  teaching  each  other  to  read.  This 
brought  the  tears  into  his  eyes.  "  Don't  be  troubled, 
uncle  Fred,"  said  I.  "  I  have  no  thoughts  of  refusing  1 
to  teach  you.  I  only  told  you  of  the  law,  that  you 
might  know  the  danger,  and  be  on  your  guard."  He 
thought  he  could  plan  to  come  three  times  a  week 
without  its  being  suspected.  I  selected  a  quiet  nook, 
where  no  intruder  was  likely  to  penetrate,  and  there  I 
taught  him  his  A,  B,  C.  Considering  his  age,  his 
progress  was  astonishing.  As  soon  as  he  could  spell 
in  two  syllables  he  wanted  to  spell  out  words  in  the 
Bible.  The  happy  smile  that  illuminated  his  face  put 
joy  into  my  heart.  After  spelling  out  a  few  words,  he 
paused,  and  said,  "  Honey,  it  'pears  when  I  can  read 
dis  good  book  I  shall  be  nearer  to  God.  White  man 
is  got  all  de  sense.  He  can  larn  easy.  It  ain't  easy 
for  ole  black  man  like  me.  I  only  wants  to  read  dis 
book,  dat  I  may  know  how  to  live ;  den  I  hab  no  fear 
'bout  dying." 

I  tried  to  encourage  him  by  speaking  of  the  rapid 
progress  he  had  made.  "  Hab  patience,  child,"  he 
replied.  "  I  larns  slow." 

I  had  no  need  of  patience.  His  gratitude,  and  the 
happiness  I  imparted,  were  more  than  a  recompense 
for  all  my  trouble. 

At  the  end  of  six  months  he  had  read  through  the 
New  Testament,  and  could  find  any  text  in  it.  One 
day,  when  he  had  recited  unusually  well,  I  said, 


The  Church  and  Slavery.  113 

"  Uncle  Fred,  how  do  you  manage  to  get  your  lessons 
so  well?" 

"  Lord  bress  you,  chile,"  he  replied.  "  You  nebber 
gibs  me  a  lesson  dat  I  don't  pray  to  God  to  help  me 
to  understan'  what  I  spells  and  what  I  reads.  And  he 
does  help  me,  chile.  Bress  his  holy  name  !  " 

There  are  thousands,  who,  like  good  uncle  Fred,  are 
thirsting  for  the  water  of  life ;  but  the  law  forbids  it, 
and  the  churches  withhold  it.  They -send  the  Bible  to 
heathen  abroad,  and  neglect  the  heathen  at  home.  I 
am  glad  that  missionaries  go  out  to  the  dark  corners  of 
the  earth  ;  but  I  ask  them  not  to  overlook  the  dark 
corners  at  home.  Talk  to  American  slaveholders  as 
you  talk  to  savages  in  Africa.  Tell  them  it  is-  wrong 
to  traffic  in  men.  Tell  them  it  is  sinful  to  sell  theii 
own  children,  and  atrocious  to  violate  their  own 
daughters.  Tell  them  that  all  men  are  brethren,  and 
that  man  has  no  right  to  shut  out  the  light  of  knowl 
edge  from  his  brother.  Tell  them  they  are  answerable 
to  God  for  sealing  up  the  Fountain  of  Life  from  souls 
that  are  thirsting  for  it. 

There  are  men  who  would  gladly  undertake  such 
missionary  work  as  this ;  but,  alas  !  their  number  is 
small.  They  are  hated  by  the  south,  and  would  be 
driven  from  its  soil,  or  dragged  to  prison  to  die,  as 
others  have  been  before  themf  The  field  is  ripe  for 
the  harvest,  and  awaits  the  reapers.  Perhaps  the 
great  grandchildren  of  uncle  Fred  may  have  freely 
imparted  to  them  the  divine  treasures,  which  he 
sought  by  stealth,  at  the  risk  of  the  prison  and  the 
scourge. 

Are  doctors  of  divinity  blind,  or  are  they  hyp- 
10* 


114     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

ocrites  ?  I  suppose  some  are  the  one,  and  some  the 
other ;  but  I  think  if  they  felt  the  interest  in  the  poor 
and  the  lowly,  that  they  ought  to  feel,  they  would  not 
be  so  easily  blinded.  A  clergyman  who  goes  to  the 
south,  for  the  first  time,  has  usually  some  feeling, 
however  vague,  that  slavery  is  wrong.  The  slave 
holder  suspects  this,  and  plays  his  game  accordingly. 
He  makes  himself  as  agreeable  as  possible ;  talks  on 
theology,  and  other  kindred  topics.  The  reverend 
gentleman  is  asked  to  invoke  a  blessing  on  a  table 
loaded  with  luxuries.  After  dinner  he  walks  round 
the  premises,  and  sees  the  beautiful  groves  and  flower 
ing  vines,  and  the  comfortable  huts  of  favored  house 
hold  slaves.  The  southerner  invites  him  to  talk  with 
these  slaves.  He  asks  them  if  they  want  to  be  free, 
and  they  say,  "  0,  no,  massa."  This  is  sufficient  to 
satisfy  him.  He  comes  home  to  publish  a  "  South- 
Side  View  of  Slavery,"  and  to  complain  of  the  exag 
gerations  of  abolitionists.  He  assures  people  that  he 
has  been  to  the  south,  and  seen  slavery  for  himself; 
that  it  is  a  beautiful  "  patriarchal  institution  ;  "  that 
the  slaves  don't  want  their  freedom ;  that  they  have 
hallelujah  meetings,  and  other  religious  privileges. 

What  does  he  know  of  the  half-starved  wretches  toil 
ing  from  dawn  till  dark  on  the  plantations  ?  of  moth 
ers  shrieking  for  their  children,  torn  from  their  arms 
by  slave  traders  ?  of  young  girls  dragged  down  into 
moral  filth  ?  of  pools  of  blood  around  the  whipping 
post  ?  of  hounds  trained  to  tear  human  flesh  ?  of  men 
screwed  into  cotton  gins  to  die  ?  The  slaveholder 
showed  him  none  of  these  things,  and  the  slaves  dared 
not  tell  of  them  if  he  had  asked  them. 


The  Church  and  Slavery.  115 

There  is  a  great  difference  between  Christianity  and 
religion  at  the  south.  If  a  man  goes  to  the  commun 
ion  table,  and  pays  money  into  the  treasury  of  the 
church,  no  matter  if  it  be  the  price  of  blood,  he  is 
called  religious.  If  a  pastor  has  offspring  by  a  woman 
not  his  wife,  the  church  dismiss  him,  if  she  is  a  white 
woman ;  but  if  she  is  colored,  it  does  not  hinder  his 
continuing  to  be  their  good  shepherd. 

When  I  was  told  that  Dr.  Flint  had  joined  the 
Episcopal  church,  I  was  much  surprised.  I  supposed 
that  religion  had  a  purifying  effect  on  the  character 
of  men ;  but  the  worst  persecutions  I  endured  from 
him  were  after  he  was  a  communicant.  The  conver 
sation  of  the  doctor,  the  day  after  he  had  been  con 
firmed,  certainly  gave  me  no  indication  that  he  had 
"  renounced  the  devil  and  all  his  works."  In  answer 
to  some  of  his  usual  talk,  I  reminded  him  that  he  had 
just  joined  the  church.  "  Yes,  Linda,"  said  he.  "  It 
was  proper  for  me  to  do  so.  I  am  getting  in  years, 
and  my  position  in  society  requires  it,  and  it  puts  an 
end  to  all  the  damned  slang.  You  would  do  well  to 
join  the  church,  too,  Linda." 

"  There  are  sinners  enough  in  it  already,"  re 
joined  I.  "  If  I  could  be  allowed  to  live  like  a  Chris 
tian,  I  should  be  glad." 

"  You  can  do  what  I  require ;  and  if  you  are 
faithful  to  me,  you  will  be  as  virtuous  as  my  wife,"  he 
replied. 

I  answered  that  the  Bible  didn't  say  so. 

His  voice  became  hoarse  with  rage.  "  How  dare 
you  preach  to  me  about  your  infernal  Bible !  "  he 


li6      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

exclaimed.  "  What  right  have  you,  who  are  my 
negro,  to  talk  to  me  about  what  you  would  like,  and 
what  you  wouldn't  like  ?  I  ain  your  master,  and  you 
Bhall  obey  me." 

No  wonder  the  slaves  sing,  — 

"  Ole  Satan's  church  is  here  below  ; 
Up  to  God's  free  church  I  hope  to  go." 


Another  Link  to  Life.  117 


XIV. 

ANOTHER  LINK  TO  LIFE. 

I  HAD  not  returned  to  my  master's  house  since  the 
birth  of  my  child.  The  old  man  raved  to  have  me 
thus  removed  from  his  immediate  power  ;  but  his  wife 
vowed,  by  all  that  was  good  and  great,  she  would  kill 
me  if  I  came  back  ;  and  he  did  not  doubt  her  word. 
Sometimes  he  would  stay  away  for  a  season.  Then 
he  would  come  and  renew  the  old  threadbare  discourse 
about  his  forbearance  and  my  ingratitude.  He  la 
bored,  most  unnecessarily,  to  convince  me  that  I  had 
lowered  myself.  The  venomous  old  reprobate  had  no 
need  of  descanting  on  that  theme.  I  felt  humiliated 
enough.  My  unconscious  babe  was  the  ever-present 
witness  of  my  shame.  I  listened  with  silent  contempt 
when  he  talked  about  my  having  forfeited  his  good 
opinion  ;  but  I  shed  bitter  tears  that  I  was  no  longer 
worthy  of  being  respected  by  the  good  and  pure. 
Alas  !  slavery  still  held  me  in  its  poisonous  grasp. 
There  was  no  chance  for  me  to  be  respectable.  There 
was  no  prospect  of  being  able  to  lead  a  better  life. 

Sometimes,  when  my  master  found  that  I  still  re 
fused  to  accept  what  he  called  his  kind  offers,  he 
would  threaten  to  sell  my  child.  "  Perhaps  that  will 
humble  you,"  said  he. 

Humble  me  !  Was  I  not  already  in  the  dust  ?  But 
his  threat  lacerated  my  heart.  1  knew  the  law  gave 
him  power  to  fulfil  it ;  for  slaveholders  have  been 


li8      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

cunning  enough  to  enact  that  "  the  child  shall  follow 
the  condition  of  the  mother"  not  of  the  father ;  thus 
taking  care  that  licentiousness  shall  not  interfere  with 
avarice.  This  reflection  made  me  clasp  my  innocent 
babe  all  the  more  firmly  to  my  heart.  Horrid  visions 
passed  through  my  mind  when  I  thought  of  his  lia 
bility  to  fall  into  the  slave  trader's  hands.  I  wept 
over  him,  and  said,  "  0  my  child  !  perhaps  they  will 
leave  you  in  some  cold  cabin  to  die,  and  then  throw 
you  into  a  hole,  as  if  you  were  a  dog." 

When  Dr.  Flint  learned  that  I  was  again  to  be  a 
mother,  he  was  exasperated  beyond  measure.  He 
rushed  from  the  house,  and  returned  with  a  pair  of 
shears.  I  had  a  fine  head  of  hair ;  and  he  often 
railed  about  my  pride  of  arranging  it  nicely.  He  cut 
every  hair  close  to  my  head,  storming  and  swearing 
all  the  time.  I  replied  to  some  of  his  abuse,  and  he 
struck  me.  Some  months  before,  he  had  pitched  me 
down  stairs  in  a  fit  of  passion  ;  and  the  injury  I  re 
ceived  was  so  serious  that  I  was  unable  to  turn  myself 
in  bed  for  many  days.  He  then  said,  "  Linda,  I  swear 
by  God  I  will  never  raise  my  hand  against  you  again ; " 
but  I  knew  that  he  would  forget  his  promise. 

After  he  discovered  my  situation,  he  was  like  a 
restless  spirit  from  the  pit.  He  came  every  day ;  and 
I  was  subjected  to  such  insults  as  no  pen  can  describe. 
I  would  not  describe  them  if  I  could  ;  they  were  too 
low,  too  revolting.  I  tried  to  keep  them  from  my 
grandmother's  knowledge  as  much  as  I  could.  I 
knew  she  had  enough  to  sadden  her  life,  without 
having  my  troubles  to  bear.  When  she  saw  the 
doctor  treat  me  with  violence,  and  heard  him  utter 


Another  Link  to  Life.  119 

oaths  terrible  enough  to  palsy  a  man's  tongue,  she 
could  not  always  hold  her  peace.  It  was  natural  and 
motherlike  that  she  should  try  to  defend  me  ;  but  it 
only  made  matters  worse. 

When  they  told  me  my  new-born  babe  was  a  girl, 
my  heart  was  heavier  than  it  had  ever  been  before. 
Slavery  is  terrible  for  men  ;  but  it  is  far  more  terrible 
for  women.  Superadded  to  the  burden  common  to 
all,  they  have  wrongs,  and  sufferings,  and  mortifica 
tions  peculiarly  their  own. 

Dr.  Flint  had  sworn  that  he  would  make  me  suffer, 
to  my  last  day,  for  this  new  crime  against  him,  as  he 
called  it ;  and  as  long  as  he  had  me  in  his  power  he 
kept  his  word.  On  the  fourth  day  after  the  birth  of  my 
babe,  he  entered  my  room  suddenly,  and  commanded 
me  to  rise  and  bring  my  baby  to  him.  The  nurse  who 
took  care  of  me  had  gone  out  of  the  room  to  prepare 
some  nourishment,  and  I  was  alone.  There  was  no 
alternative.  I  rose,  took  up  my  babe,  and  crossed  the 
room  to  where  he  sat.  "  Now  stand  there,"  said  he, 
"  till  I  tell  you  to  go  back  !  "  My  child  bore  a  strong 
resemblance  to  her  father,  and  to  the  deceased  Mrs. 
Sands,  her  grandmother.  He  noticed  this  ;  and  while 
I  stood  before  him,  trembling  with  weakness,  he  heaped 
upon  me  and  my  little  one  every  vile  epithet  he  could 
think  of.  Even  the  grandmother  in  her  grave  did  not 
escape  his  curses.  In  the  midst  of  his  vituperations 
I  fainted  at  his  feet.  This  recalled  him  to  his  senses. 
He  took  the  baby  from  my  arms,  laid  it  on  the  bed, 
dashed  cold  water  in  my  face,  took  me  up,  and  shook 
me  violently,  to  restore  my  consciousness  before  any 
one  entered  the  room.  Just  then  my  grandmother 


f 
120     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

came  in,  and  he  hurried  out  of  the  house.  I  suffered 
in  consequence  of  this  treatment ;  but  I  begged  my 
friends  to  let  me  die,  rather  than  send  for  the  doctor. 
There  was  nothing  I  dreaded  so  much  as  his  presence. 
My  life  was  spared ;  and  I  was  glad  for  the  sake  of  my 
little  ones.  Had  it  not  been  for  these  ties  to  life,  I 
should  have  heen  glad  to  be  released  by  death,  though 
I  had  lived  only  nineteen  years. 

Always  it  gave  me  a  pang  that  my  children  had  no 
lawful  claim  to  a  name.  Their  father  offered  his  ;  but, 
if  I  had  wished  to  accept  the  offer,  I  dared  not  while 
my  "master  lived.  Moreover,  I  knew  it  would  not  be 
accepted  at  their  baptism.  A  Christian  name  they 
were  at  least  entitled  to  ;  and  we  resolved  to  call  my 
boy  for  our  dear  good  Benjamin,  who  had  gone  far 
away  from  us. 

My  grandmother  belonged  to  the  church  ;  and  she 
•was  very  desirous  of  having  the  children 'christened. 
I  knew  Dr.  Flint  would  forbid  it,  and  I  did  not 
venture  to  attempt  it.  But  chance  favored  me.  He 
was  called  to  visit  a  patient  out  of  town,  and  was 
obliged  to  be  absent  during  Sunday.  "  Now  is  the 
time,"  said  my  grandmother  ;  "  we  will  take  the  chil 
dren  to  church,  and  have  them  christened." 

When  I  entered  the  church,  recollections  of  my 
mother  came  over  me,  and  I  felt  subdued  in  spirit. 
There  she  had  presented  me  for  baptism,  without  any 
reason  to  feel  ashamed.  She  had  been  married,  and 
had  such  legal  rights  as  slavery  allows  to  a  slave. 
The  vows  had  at  least  been  sacred  to  Aer,  and  she  had 
never  violated  them.  I  was  glad  she  was  not  alive,  to 
know  under  what  different  circumstances  her  grand- 


• 


Another  Link  to  Life.  121 

children  were  presented  for  baptism.  Why  had  my 
lot  been  so  different  from  my  mother's  ?  Her  master 
had  died  when  she  was  a  child ;  and  she  remained 
with  her  mistress  till  she  married.  She  was  never 
in  the  power  of  any  master ;  and  thus  she  escaped 
one  class  of  the  evils  that  generally  fall  upon  slaves. 

When  my  baby  was  about  to  be  christened,  the 
former  mistress  of  my  father  stepped  up  to  me.  and 
proposed  to  give  it  her  Christian  name.  To  this  I 
added  the  surname  of  my  father,  who  had  himself  no 
legal  right  to  it ;  for  my  grandfather  on  the  paternal 
side  was  a  white  gentleman.  What  tangled  skeins 
are  the  genealogies  of  slavery  !  I  loved  my  father ; 
but  it  mortified  me  to  be  obliged  to  bestow  his  name 
on  my  children. 

When  we  left  the  church,  my  father's  old  mistress 
invited  me  to  go  home  with  her.  She  clasped  a  gold 
chain  round  my  baby's  neck.  I  thanked  her  for  this 
kindness  ;  but  I  did  not  like  the  emblem.  I  wanted 
no  chain  to  be  fastened  on  my  daughter,  not  even  if 
its  links  were  of  gold.  How  earnestly  I  prayed  that 
she  might  never  feel  the  weight  of  slavery's  chain, 
whose  iron  entereth  into  the  soul ! 

11 


122      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


XV. 

CONTINUED    PERSECUTIONS. 

MY  children  grew  finely  ;  and  Dr.  Flint  would  often 
say  to  me,  with  an  exulting  smile,  "These  brats 
will  bring  me  a  handsome  sum  of  money  one  of  these 
days." 

I  thought  to  myself  that,  God  being  my  helper,  they 
should  never  pass  into  his  hands.  It  seemed  to  me 
I  would  rather  see  them  killed  than  have  them  given 
up  to  his  power.  The  money  for  the  freedom  of  my 
self  and  my  children  could  be  obtained  ;  but  I  de 
rived  no  advantage  from  that  circumstance.  Dr.  Flint 
loved  money,  but  he  loved  power  more.  After  much 
discussion,  my  friends  resolved  on  making  another  trial. 
There  was  a  slaveholder  about  to  leave  for  Texas,  and 
he  was  commissioned  to  buy  me.  He  was  to  begin  with 
nine  hundred  dollars,  and  go  up  to  twelve.  My  master 
refused  his  offers.  "  Sir,"  said  he,  "  she  don't  belong 
to  me.  She  is  my  daughter's  property,  and  I  have  no 
right  to  sell  her.  I  mistrust  that  you  come  from  her 
paramour.  If  so,  you  may  tell  him  that  he  cannot 
buy  her  for  any  money ;  neither  can  he  buy  her 
children." 

The  doctor  came  to  see  me  the  next  day,  and  my 
heart  beat  quicker  as  he  entered.  I  never  had  seen  the 
old  man  tread  with  so  majestic  a  step.  He  seated  him 
self  and  looked  at  me  with  withering  scorn.  My  chil 
dren  had  learned  to  be  afraid  of  him.  The  little  one 


Continued  Perfections.  123 

would  shut  her  eyes  and  hide  her  face  on  my  shoulder 
whenever  she  saw  him ;  and  Benny,  who  was  now 
nearly  five  years  old,  often  inquired,  "  What  makes  that 
bad  man  come  here  so  many  times  ?  Does  he  want  to 
hurt  us  ?"  I  would  clasp  the  dear  boy  in  my  arms, 
trusting  that  he  would  be  free  before  he  was  old 
enough  to  solve  the  problem.  And  now,  as  the  doctor 
sat  there  so  grim  and  silent,  the  child  left  his  play  and 
came  and  nestled  up  by  me.  At  last  my  tormentor 
spoke.  "  So  you  are  left  in  disgust,  are  you  ?  "  said  he. 
"  It  is  no  more  than  I  expected.  You  remember  I  told 
you  years  ago  that  you  would  be  treated  so.  So  he  is 
tired  of  you  ?  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  The  virtuous  madam 
don't  like  to  hear  about  it,  does  she  ?  Ha !  ha  !  ha  !  " 
There  was  a  sting  in  his  calling  me  virtuous  madam. 
I  no  longer  had  the  power  of  answering  him  as  I  had 
formerly  done.  He  continued  :  "  So  it  seems  you  are 
trying  to  get  up  another  intrigue.  Your  new  paramour 
came  to  me,  and  offered  to  buy  you  ;  but  you  may  be 
assured  you  will  not  succeed.  You  are  mine  ;  and  you 
shall  be  mine  for  life.  There  lives  no  human  being  that 
can  take  you  out  of  slavery.  I  would  have  done  it ;  but 
you  rejected  my  kind  offer." 

I  told  him  I  did  not  wish  to  get  up  any  intrigue ; 
that  I  had  never  seen  the  man  who  offered  to  buy  me. 

"  Do  you  tell  me  I  lie  ?  "  exclaimed  he,  dragging  me 
from  my  chair.  "  Will  you  say  again  that  you  never 
saw  that  man  ?  " 

I  answered,  "  I  do  say  so." 

He  clinched  my  arm  with  a  volley  of  oaths.  Ben 
began  to  scream,  and  I  told  him  to  go  to  his  grand 
mother. 


124      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

"  Don't  you  stir  a  step,  you  little  wretch  !  "  said  he. 
The  child  drew  nearer  to  me,  and  put  his  arms  round 
me,  as  if  he  wanted  to  protect  me.  This  was  too  much 
for  my  enraged  master.  He  caught  him  up  and  hurled 
him  across  the  room.  I  thought  he  was  dead,  and 
rushed  towards  him  to  take  him  up. 

"Not  yet!"  exclaimed  the  doctor.  "Let  him  lie 
there  till  he  comes  to." 

"  Let  me  go  !  Let  me  go  ! "  I  screamed,  "  or  I  will 
raise  the  whole  house."  I  struggled  and  got  away ; 
but  he  clinched  me  again.  Somebody  opened  the  door, 
and  he  released  me.  I  picked  up  my  insensible  child, 
and  when  I  turned  my  tormentor  was  gone.  Anxiously 
I  bent  over  the  little  form,  so  pale  and  still ;  and  when 
the  brown  eyes  at  last  opened,  I  don't  know  whether  I 
was  very  happy. 

All  the  doctor's  former  persecutions  were  renewed. 
He  came  morning,  noon,  and  night.  No  jealous  lover 
ever  watched  a  rival  more  closely  than  he  watched  me 
and  the  unknown  slaveholder,  with  whom  he  accused 
me  of  wishing  to  get  up  an  intrigue.  When  my  grand 
mother  was  out  of  the  way  he  searched  every  room  to 
find  him. 

In  one  of  his  visits,  he  happened  to  find  a  young  girl, 
whom  he  had  sold  to  a  trader  a  few  days  previous. 
His  statement  was,  that  he  sold  her  because  she  had 
been  too  familiar  with  the  overseer.  She  had  had  a 
bitter  life  with  him,  and  was  glad  to  be  sold.  She  had 
no  mother,  and  no  near  ties.  She  had  been  torn  from 
all  her  family  years  before.  A  few  friends  had  entered 
into  bonds  for  her  safety,  if  the  trader  would  allow  her 
to  spend  with  them  the  time  that  intervened  between 


Continued  Perfecutions. 


her  sale  and  the  gathering  up  of  his  human  stock. 
Such  a  favor  was  rarely  granted.  It  saved  the  trader 
the  expense  of  board  and  jail  fees,  and  though  the 
amount  was  small,  it  was  a  weighty  consideration  in  a 
slave-trader's  mind. 

Dr.  Flint  always  had  an  aversion  to  meeting  slaves 
after  he  had  sold  them.  He  ordered  Rose  out  of  the 
house  ;  but  he  was  no  longer  her  master,  and  she  took 
no  notice  of  him.  For  once  the  crushed  Rose  was  the 
conqueror.  His  gray  eyes  flashed  angrily  upon  her  ; 
but  that  was  the  extent  of  his  power.  "  How  camo 
this  girl  here  ?  "  he  exclaimed.  "  What  right  had  you 
to  allow  it,  when  you  knew  I  had  sold  her  ?  " 

I  answered  "  This  is  my  grandmother's  house,  and 
Rose  came  to  see  her.  I  have  no  right  to  turn  any 
body  out  of  doors,  that  comes  here  for  honest  purposes." 

He  gave  me  the  blow  that  would  have  fallen  upon 
Rose  if  she  had  still  been  his  slave.  My  grandmoth 
er's  attention  had  been  attracted  by  loud  voices,  and 
she  entered  in  time  to  see  a  second  blow  dealt.  She 
was  not  a  woman  to  let  such  an  outrage,  in  her  own 
house,  go  unrebuked.  The  doctor  undertook  to  ex 
plain  that  I  had  been  insolent.  Her  indignant  feelings 
rose  higher  and  higher,  and  finally  boiled  over  in  words. 
"  Get  out  of  my  house  !  "  she  exclaimed.  "  Go  home, 
and  take  care  of  your  wife  and  children,  and  you  will 
have  enough  to  do,  without  watching  my  family." 

He  threw  the  birth  of  my  children  in  her  face, 
accused  her  of  sanctioning  the  life  I  was  leading. 
told  him  I  was  living  with  her  by  compulsion  of  his 
wife  ;  that  he  needn't  accuse  her,  for  he  was  the  one 
to  blame  ;  he  was  the  one  who  had  caused  all  the 

11* 


• 


126      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

troiible.  She  grew  more  and  more  excited  as  she 
went  on.  "  I  tell  you  what,  Dr.  Flint,"  said  she,  "  you 
ain't  got  many  more.years  to  live,  and  you'd  better  be 
saying  your  prayers.  It  will  take  'em  all,  and  more 
too,  to  wash  the  dirt  off  your  soul." 

"  Do  you  know  whom  you  are  talking  to  ?  "  he  ex 
claimed. 

She  replied,  "  Yes,  I  know  very  well  who  I  am  talk 
ing  to." 

He  left  the  house  in  a  great  rage.  I  looked  at  my 
grandmother.  Our  eyes  met.  Their  angry  expres 
sion  had  passed  away,  but  she  looked  sorrowful  and 
weary  —  weary  of  incessant  strife.  I  wondered  that  it 
did  not  lessen  her  love  for  me  ;  but  if  it  did  she  never 
showed  it.  She  was  always  kind,  always  ready  to 
sympathize  with  my  troubles.  There  might  have  been 
peace  and  contentment  in  that  humble  home  if  it  had 
not  been  for  the  demon  Slavery. 

The  winter  passed  undisturbed  by  the  doctor.  The 
beautiful  spring  came  ;  and  when  Nature  resumes  her 
loveliness,  the  human  soul  is  apt  to  revive  also.  My 
drooping  hopes  came  to  life  again  with  the  flowers.  I 
was  dreaming  of  freedom  again ;  more  for  my  children's 
sake  than  my  own.  I  planned  and  I  planned.  Ob 
stacles  hit  against  plans.  There  seemed  no  way  of 
overcoming  them ;  and  yet  I  hoped. 

Back  came  the  wily  doctor.  I  was  not  at  home  when 
e  called.  A  friend  had  invited  me  to  a  small  party, 

d  to  gratify  her  I  went.  To  my  great  consternation, 
a  messenger  came  in  haste  to  say  that  Dr.  Flint  was  at 
my  grandmother's,  and  insisted  on  seeing  me.  They 
did  not  tell  him  where  I  was,  or  he  would  have  come 


Continued  Perfecutions.  127 

and  raised  a  disturbance  in  my  friend's  house.  They 
sent  me  a  dark  wrapper ;  I  threw  it  on  and  hurried 
home.  My  speed  did  not  save  me  ;  the  doctor  had  gone 
away  in  anger.  I  dreaded  the  morning,  but  I  could 
not  delay  it ;  it  came,  warm  and  bright.  At  an  early 
hour  the  doctor  came  and  asked  me  where  I  had  been 
last  night.  I  told  him.  He  did  not  believe  me,  and 
sent  to  my  friend's  house  to  ascertain  the  facts.  He 
came  in  the  afternoon  to  assure  me  he  was  satisfied 
that  I  had  spoken  the  truth.  He  seemed  to  be  in  a 
facetious  mood,  and  I  expected  some  jeers  were  coining. 
"  I  suppose  you  need  some  recreation,"  said  he,  "  but 
I  am  surprised  at  your  being  there,  among  those  negroes. 
It  was  not  the  place  for  you.  Are  you  allowed  to  visit 
such  people  ? " 

I  understood  this  covert  fling  at  the  white  gentleman 
who  was  my  friend  ;  but  I  merely  replied,  "  I  went  to 
visit  my  friends,  and  any  company  they  keep  is  good 
enough  for  me." 

He  went  on  to  say,  "  I  have  seen  very  little  of  you 
of  late,  but  my  interest  in  you  is  unchanged.  When 
I  said  I  would  have  no  more  mercy  on  you  I  was  rash. 
I  recall  my  words.  Linda,  you  desire  freedom  for  your 
self  and  your  children,  and  you  can  obtain  it  only 
through  me.  If  you  agree  to  what  I  am  about  to  pro 
pose,  you  and  they  shall  be  free.  There  must  be  no 
communication  of  any  kind  between  you  and  their 
father.  I  will  procure  a  cottage,  where  you  and  tl: 
children  can  live  together.  Your  labor  shall  be  ligh' 
such  as  sewing  for  my  family.  Think  what  is  offered 
you,  Linda  —  a  home  and  freedom!  Let  the  past  be 
forgotten.  If  I  have  been  harsh  with  you  at  times, 


ir 

I 


128     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

your  wilfulness  drove  me  to  it.  You  know  I  exact 
obedience  from  my  own  children,  and  I  consider  you 
as  yet  a  child." 

He  paused  for  an  answer,  but  I  remained  silent. 

"  Why  don't  you  speak  ?  "  said  he.  "  What  more 
do  you  wait  for  ?  " 

"  Nothing,  sir." 

"  Then  you  accept  my  offer  ?  " 

"  No,  sir." 

His  anger  was  ready  to  break  loose  ;  but  he  succeeded 
in  curbing  it,  and  replied,  "  You  have  answered  with 
out  thought.  But  I  must  let  you  know  there  are  two 
sides  to  my  proposition  ;  if  you  reject  the  bright  side, 
you  will  be  obliged  to  take  the  dark  one.  You  must 
either  accept  my  offer,  or  you  and  your  children  shall 
be  sent  to  your  young  master's  plantation,  there  to 
remain  till  your  young  mistress  is  married  ;  and  your 
children  shall  fare  like  the  rest  of  the  negro  children. 
I  give  you  a  week  to  consider  of  it." 

He  was  shrewd  ;  but  I  knew  he  was  not  to  be  trusted. 
I  told  him  I  was  ready  to  give  my  answer  now. 

"  I  will  not  receive  it  now,"  he  replied.  "  You  act 
too  much  from  impulse.  Remember  that  you  and  your 
children  can  be  free  a  week  from  to-day  if  you  choose." 

On  what  a  monstrous  chance  hung  the  destiny  of 
my  children  !  I  knew  that  my  master's  offer  was  a 
snare,  and  that  if  I  entered  it  escape  would  be  impos- 
As  for  his  promise,  I  knew  him  so  well  that  I 

s  sure  if  he  gave  me  free  papers,  they  would  be  so 

anaged  as  to  have  no  legal  value.  The  alternative 
was  inevitable.  I  resolved  to  go  to  the  plantation. 
But  then  I  thought  how  completely  I  should  be  in  his 


Continued  Perfecutions.  129 

power,  and  the  prospect  was  apalling.  Even  if  I  should 
kneel  before  him,  and  implore  him  to  spare  me,  for  the 
sake  of  my  children,  I  knew  he  would  spurn  me  with 
his  foot,  and  my  weakness  would  be  his  triumph. 

Before  the  week  expired,  I  heard  that  young  Mr. 
Flint  was  about  to  be  married  to  a  lady  of  his  own 
stamp.  I  foresaw  the  position  I  should  occupy  in  his 
establishment.  I  had  once  been  sent  to  the  plantation 
for  punishment,  and  fear  of  the  son  had  induced  the 
father  to  recall  me  very  soon.  My  mind  was  made  up  ; 
I  was  resolved  that  I  would  foil  my  master  and  save 
my  children,  or  I  would  perish  in  the  attempt.  I  kept 
my  plans  to  myself ;  I  knew  that  friends  would  try  to 
dissuade  me  from  them,  and  I  would  not  wound  their 
feelings  by  rejecting  their  advice. 

On  the  decisive  day  the  doctor  came,  and  said  he 
hoped  I  had  made  a  wise  choice. 

"  I  am  ready  to  go  to  the  plantation,  sir,"  I  replied. 

"  Have  you  thought  how  important  your  decision  is 
to  your  children  ?  "  said  he. 

I  told  him  I  had. 

"  Very  well.  Go  to  the  plantation,  and  my  curse  go 
with  you,"  he  replied.  "  Your  boy  shall  be  put  to 
work,  and  he  shall  soon  be  sold ;  and  your  girl  shall  be 
raised  for  the  purpose  of  selling  well.  Go  your  own 
ways!"  He  left  the  room  with  curses,  not  to  be  re 
peated. 

As  I  stood  rooted  to  the  spot,  my  grandmother  came 
and  said,  "  Linda,  child,  what  did  you  tell  him  ?  " 

I  answered  that  I  was  going  to  the  plantation. 

"  Must  you  go  ? "  said  she.  "  Can't  something  be 
done  to  stop  it  ? " 


130      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

I  told  her  it  was  useless  to  try  ;  but  she  begged  me  not 
to  give  up.  She  said  she  would  go  to  the  doctor,  and 
remind  him  how  long  and  how  faithfully  she  had  served 
in  the  family,  and  how  she  had  taken  her  own  baby 
from  her  breast  to  nourish  his  wife.  She  would  tell 
him  I  had  been  out  of  the  family  so  long  they  would 
not  miss  me ;  that  she  would  pay  them  for  my  time, 
and  the  money  would  procure  a  woman  who  had  more 
strength  for  the  situation  than  I  had.  I  begged  her 
not  to  go  ;  but  she  persisted  in  saying,  "  He  will  listen 
to  me,  Linda."  She  went,  and  was  treated  as  I  ex 
pected.  He  coolly  listened  to  what  she  said,  but  denied 
her  request.  He  told  her  that  what  he  did  was  for  my 
good,  that  my  feelings  were  entirely  above  my  situa 
tion,  and  that  on  the  plantation  I  would  receive  treat 
ment  that  was  suitable  to  my  behavior. 

My  grandmother  was  much  cast  down.  I  had  my 
secret  hopes  ;  but  I  must  fight  my  battle  alone.  I  had 
a  woman's  pride,  and  a  mother's  love  for  my  children  ; 
and  I  resolved  that  out  of  the  darkness  of  this  hour  a 
brighter  dawn  should  rise  for  them.  My  master  had 
power  and  law  on  his  side  ;  I  had  a  determined  will. 
There  is  might  in  each. 


Scenes  at  the  Plantation.  131 


XVI. 

SCENES  AT  THE  PLANTATION. 

EARLY  the  next  morning  I  left  my  grandmother's 
with  my  youngest  child.  My  boy  was  ill,  and  I  left 
him  behind.  I  had  many  sad  thoughts  as  the  old 
wagon  jolted  on.  Hitherto,  I  had  suffered  alone  ;  now, 
my  little  one  was  to  be  treated  as  a  slave.  As  we 
drew  near  the  great  house,  I  thought  of  the  time  when 
I  was  formerly  sent  there  out  of  revenge.  I  wondered 
for  what  purpose  I  was  now  sent.  I  could  not  tell.  I 
resolved  to  obey  orders  so  far  as  duty  required ;  but 
within  myself,  I  determined  to  make  my  stay  as  short 
as  possible.  Mr.  Flint  was  waiting  to  receive  us,  and 
told  me  to  follow  him  up  stairs  to  receive  orders  for 
the  day.  My  little  Ellen  was  left  below  in  the  kitchen. 
It  was  a  change  for  her,  who  had  always  been  so  care 
fully  tended.  My  young  master  said  she  might  amuse 
herself  in  the  yard.  This  was  kind  of  him,  since  the 
child  was  hateful  to  his  sight.  My  task  was  to  fit  up 
the  house  for  the  reception  of  the  bride.  In  the  midst 
of  sheets,  tablecloths,  towels,  drapery,  and  carpeting, 
my  head  was  as  busy  planning,  as  were  my  fingers 
with  the  needle.  At  noon  I  was  allowed  to  go  to 
Ellen.  She  had  sobbed  herself  to  sleep.  I  heard 
Mr.  Flint  say  to  a  neighbor,  "  I've  got  her  down  herej 
and  I'll  soon  take  the  town  notions  out  of  her  head. 
My  father  is  partly  to  blame  for  her  nonsense.  He 
ought  to  have  broke  her  in  long  ago."  The  remark 


132      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

was  made  within  my  hearing,  and  it  would  have  been 
quite  as  manly  to  have  made  it  to  my  face.  lie  had 
said  things  to  my  face  which  might,  or  might  not, 
have  surprised  his  neighbor  if  he  had  known  of  them. 
He  was  "  a  chip  of  the  old  block." 

I  resolved  to  give  him  no  cause  to  accuse  me  of 
being  too  much  of  a  lady,  so  far  as  work  was  con 
cerned.  I  worked  day  and  night,  with  wretchedness 
before  me.  When  I  lay  down  beside  my  child,  I  felt 
how  much  easier  it  would  be  to  see  her  die  than 
to  see  her  master  beat  her  about,  as  I  daily  saw  him 
beat  other  little  ones.  The  spirit  of  the  mothers 
was  so  crushed  by  the  lash,  that  they  stood  by, 
without  courage  to  remonstrate.  How  much  more 
must  I  suffer,  before  I  should  be  "  broke  in "  to 
that  degree? 

I  wished  to  appear  as  contented  as  possible.  Some 
times  I  had  an  opportunity  to  send  a  few  lines  home  ; 
and  this  brought  up  recollections  that  made  it  difficult, 
for  a  time,  to  seem  calm  and  indifferent  to  my  lot.  Not 
withstanding  my  efforts,  I  saw  that  Mr.  Flint  regarded 
me  with  a  suspicious  eye.  Ellen  broke  down  under 
the  trials  of  her  new  life.  Separated  from  me,  with  no 
one  to  look  after  her,  she  wandered  about,  and  in  a 
few  days  cried  herself  sick.  One  day,  she  sat  under 
the  window  where  I  was  at  work,  crying  that  weary 
cry  which  makes  a  mother's  heart  bleed.  I  was  obliged 
to  steel  myself  to  bear  it.  After  a  while  it  ceased.  I 
^looked  out,  and  she  was  gone.  As  it  was  near  noon, 
I  ventured  to  go  down  in  search  of  her.  The  great 
house  was  raised  two  feet  above  the  ground.  I  looked 
under  it,  and  saw  her  about  midway,  fast  asleep.  I 


Scenes  at  the  Plantation.  133 

crept  under  and  drew  her  out.  As  I  held  her  in  my 
arms,  I  thought  how  well  it  would  be  for  her  if  she 
never  waked  up  ;  and  I  uttered  my  thought  aloud.  I 
was  startled  to  hear  some  one  say,  "  Did  you  speak  to 
me  ?  "  I  looked  up,  and  saw  Mr.  Flint  standing  be 
side  me.  He  said  nothing  further,  but  turned,  frown 
ing,  away.  That  night  he  sent  Ellen  a  biscuit  and  a 
cup  of  sweetened  milk.  This  generosity  surprised  me. 
I  learned  afterwards,  that  in  the  afternoon  he  had 
killed  a  large  snake,  which  crept  from  under  the 
house  ;  and  I  supposed  that  incident  had  prompted  his 
unusual  kindness. 

The  next  morning  the  old  cart  was  loaded  with 
shingles  for  town.  I  put  Ellen  into  it,  and  sent  her  to 
her  grandmother.  Mr.  Flint  said  I  ought  to  have 
asked  his  permission.  I  told  him  the  child  was  sick, 
and  required  attention  which  I  had  no  time  to  give. 
He  let  it  pass ;  for  he  was  aware  that  I  had  accomplished 
much  work  in  a  little  time. 

I  had  been  three  weeks  on  the  plantation,  when  I 
planned  a  visit  home.  It  must  be  at  night,  after  every 
body  was  in  bed.  I  was  six  miles  from  town,  and  the 
road  was  very  dreary.  I  was  to  go  with  a  young  man, 
who,  I  knew,  often  stole  to  town  to  see  his  mother.  One 
night,  when  all  was  quiet,  we  started.  Fear  gave  speed 
to  our  steps,  and  we  were  not  long  in  performing  the 
journey.  I  arrived  at  my  grandmother's.  Her  bed 
room  was  on  the  first  floor,  and  the  window  was  open, 
the  weather  being  warm.  I  spoke  to  her  and  she  awoke.  | 
She  let  me  in  and  closed  the  window,  lest  some  late 
passer-by  should  see  me.  A  light  was  brought,  and 
the  whole  household  gathered  round  me,  some  smiling 

12 


134      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

and  some  crying.  I  went  to  look  at  my  children,  and 
thanked  God  for  their  happy  sleep.  The  tears  fell  as 
I  leaned  over  them.  As  I  moved  to  leave,  Benny 
stirred.  I  turned  back,  and  whispered,  "  Mother  is 
here."  After  digging  at  his  eyes  with  his  little  fist, 
they  opened,  and  he  sat  up  in  bed,  looking  at  me 
curiously.  Having  satisfied  himself  that  it  was  I,  he 
exclaimed,  "0  mother!  you  ain't  dead,  are  you? 
They  didn't  cut  off  your  head  at  the  plantation,  did 
they?" 

My  time  was  up  too  soon,  and  my  guide  was  waiting 
for  me.  I  laid  Benny  back  in  his  bed,  and  dried  his 
tears  by  a  promise  to  come  again  soon.  Rapidly  we 
retraced  our  steps  back  to  the  plantation.  About  half 
way  we  were  met  by  a  company  of  four  patrols.  Luckily 
we  heard  their  horse's  hoofs  before  they  came  in  sight, 
and  we  had  time  to  hide  behind  a  large  tree.  They 
passed,  hallooing  and  shouting  in  a  manner  that  in 
dicated  a  recent  carousal.  How  thankful  we  were 
that  they  had  not  their  dogs  with  them !  We  hastened 
our  footsteps,  and  when  we  arrived  on  the  plantation 
we  heard  the  sound  of  the  hand-mill.  The  slaves  were 
grinding  their  corn.  "We  were  safely  in  the  house  be 
fore  the  horn  summoned  them  to  their  labor.  I  divided 
my  little  parcel  of  food  with  my  guide,  knowing  that 
he  had  lost  the  chance  of  grinding  his  corn,  and  must 
toil  all  day  in  the  field. 

Mr.  Flint  often  took  an  inspection  of  the  house,  to 
see  that  no  one  was  idle.  The  entire  management  of 
the  work  was  trusted  to  me.  because  he  knew  noth 
ing  about  it ;  and  rather  than  hire  a  superintendent  he 
contented  himself  with  my  arrangements.  He  had 


Scenes  at  the  Plantation. 


often  urged  upon  his  father  the  necessity  of  having  me 
at  the  plantation  to  take  charge  of  his  affairs,  and 
make  clothes  for  the  slaves;  but  the  old  man  knew 
him  too  well  to  consent  to  that  arrangement. 

When  I  had  been  working  a  month  at  the  plantation, 
the  great  aunt  of  Mr.  Flint  came  to  make  him  a  visit. 
This  was  the  good  old  lady  who  paid  fifty  dollars  for 
my  grandmother,  for  the  purpose  of  making  her  free, 
when  she  stood  on  the  auction  block.  My  grand 
mother  loved  this  old  lady,  whom  we  all  called  Miss 
Fanny.  She  often  came  to  take  tea  with  us.  On  such 
occasions  the  table  was  spread  with  a  snow-white  cloth, 
and  the  china  cups  and  silver  spoons  were  taken  from 
the  old-fashioned  buffet.  There  were  hot  muffins,  tea 
rusks,  and  delicious  sweetmeats.  My  grandmother 
kept  two  cows,  and  the  fresh  cream  was  Miss  Fanny's 
delight.  She  invariably  declared  that  it  was  the  best 
in  town.  The  old  ladies  had  cosey  times  togetber.  They 
would  work  and  chat,  and  sometimes,  while  talking 
over  old  times,  their  spectacles  would  get  dim  with 
tears,  and  would  have  to  be  taken  off  and  wiped. 
When  Miss  Fanny  bade  us  good  by,  her  bag  was  filled 
with  grandmother's  best  cakes,  and  she  was  urged  to 
come  again  soon. 

There  had  been  a  time  when  Dr.  Flint's  wife  came 
to  take  tea  with  us,  and  when  her  children  were  also 
sent  to  have  a  feast  of  "  Aunt  Marthy's  "  nice  cooking. 
But  after  I  became  an  object  of  her  jealousy  and  spite, 
she  was  angry  with  grandmother  for  giving  a  shelter 
to  me  and  my  children.  She  would  not  even  speak  to 
her  in  the  street.  This  wounded  my  grandmother's 
feelings,  for  she  could  not  retain  ill  will  against  the 


136      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

woman  whom  she  had  nourished  with  her  milk  when  a 
babe.  The  doctor's  wife  would  gladly  have  prevented 
our  intercourse  with  Miss  Fanny  if  she  could  have 
done  it,  but  fortunately  she  was  not  dependent  on  the 
bounty  of  the  Flints.  She  had  enough  to  be  inde 
pendent;  and  that  is  more  than  can  ever  be  gained 
from  charity,  however  lavish  it  may  be. 

Miss  Fanny  was  endeared  to  me  by  many  recollec 
tions,  and  I  was  rejoiced  to  see  her  at  the  plantation. 
The  warmth  of  her  large,  loyal  heart  made  the  house 
seem  pleasanter  while  she  was  in  it.  She  staid  a  week, 
and  I  had  many  talks  with  her.  She  said  her  prin 
cipal  object  in  coming  was  to  see  how  I  was  treated, 
and  whether  any  thing  could  be  done  for*  me.  She  in 
quired  whether  she  could  help  me  in  any  way.  I  told 
her  I  believed  not.  She  condoled  with  me  in  her  own 
peculiar  way;  saying  she  wished  that  I  and  all  my 
grandmother's  family  were  at  rest  in  our  graves,  for 
not  until  then  should  she  feel  any  peace  about  us.  The 
good  old  soul  did  not  dream  that  I  was  planning  to 
bestow  peace  upon  her,  with  regard  to  myself  and 
my  children ;  not  by  death,  but  by  securing  our 
freedom. 

Again  and  again  I  had  traversed  those  dreary  twelve 
miles,  to  and  from  the  town ;  and  all  the  way,  I  was 
meditating  upon  some  means  of  escape  for  myself  and 
my  children.  My  friends  had  made  every  effort  that 
ingenuity  could  devise  to  effect  our  purchase,  but  all 
their  plans  had  proved  abortive.  Dr.  Flint  was  suspi 
cious,  and  determined  not  to  loosen  his  grasp  upon  us. 
I  could  have  made  my  escape  alone  ;  but  it  was  more 
for  my  helpless  children  than  for  myself  that  I  longed 


Scenes  at  the  Plantation.  137 

for  freedom.  Though  the  boon  would  have  been 
precious  to  me,  above  all  price,  I  would  not  have  taken 
it  at  the  expense  of  leaving  them  in  slavery.  Every 
trial  I  endured,  every  sacrifice  I  made  for  their 
sakes,  drew  them  closer  to  my  heart,  and  gave  me 
fresh  courage  to  beat  back  the  dark  waves  that  rolled 
and  rolled  over  me  in  a  seemingly  endless  night  of 
storms. 

The  six  weeks  were  nearly  completed,  when  Mr. 
Flint's  bride  was  expected  to  take  possession  of  her 
new  home.  The  arrangements  were  all  completed, 
and  Mr.  Flint  said  I  had  done  well.  He  expected  to 
leave  home  on  Saturday,  and  return  with  his  bride  the 
following  Wednesday.  After  receiving  various  orders 
from  him,  I  ventured  to  ask  permission  to  spend  Sun 
day  in  town.  It  was  granted ;  for  which  favor  I  was 
thankful.  It  was  the  first  I  had  ever  asked  of  him, 
and  I  intended  it  should  be  the  last.  It  needed  more 
than  one  night  to  accomplish  the  project  I  had  in  view ; 
but  the  whole  of  Sunday  would  give  me  an  opportunity. 
I  spent  the  Sabbath  with  my  grandmother.  A  calmer, 
more  beautiful  day  never  came  down  out  of  heaven. 
To  me  it  was  a  day  of  conflicting  emotions.  Perhaps 
it  was  the  last  day  I  should  ever  spend  under  that  dear, 
old  sheltering  roof !  Perhaps  these  were  the  last  talks 
I  should  ever  have  with  the  faithful  old  friend  of  my 
whole  life !  Perhaps  it  was  the  last  time  I  and  my 
children  should  be  together !  "Well,  better  so,  I 
thought,  than  that  they  should  be  slaves.  I  knew  the 
doom  that  awaited  my  fair  baby  in  slavery,  and  I  de 
termined  to  save  her  from  it,  or  perish  in  the  attempt. 
I  went  to  make  this  vow  at  the  graves  of  my  poor 

12* 


138      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

parents,  in  the  hurying-ground  of  the  slaves.  "  There 
the  wicked  cease  from  troubling,  and  there  the  weary 
be  at  rest.  There  the  prisoners  rest  together ;  they 
hear  not  the  voice  of  the  oppressor ;  the  servant  is 
free  from  his  master."  I  knelt  by  the  graves  of  my 
parents,  and  thanked  God,  as  I  had  often  done  before, 
that  they  had  not  lived  to  witness  my  trials,  or  to 
mourn  over  my  sins.  I  had  received  my  mother's 
blessing  when  she  died  ;  and  in  many  an  hour  of  trib 
ulation  I  had  seemed  to  hear  her  voice,  sometimes 
chiding  me,  sometimes  whispering  loving  words  into 
my  wounded  heart.  I  have  shed  many  and  bitter 
tears,  to  think  that  when  I  am  gone  from  my  children 
they  cannot  remember  me  with  such  entire  satisfaction 
as  I  remembered  my  mother. 

The  graveyard  was  in  the  woods,  and  twilight  was 
coming  on.  Nothing  broke  the  death-like  stillness  ex 
cept  the  occasional  twitter  of  a  bird.  My  spirit  was 
overawed  by  the  solemnity  of  the  scene.  For  more 
than  ten  years  I  had  frequented  this  spot,  but  never 
had  it  seemed  to  me  so  sacred  as  now.  A  black  stump, 
at  the  bead  of  my  mother's  grave,  was  all  that  re 
mained  of  a  tree  my  father  had  planted.  His  grave 
was  marked  by  a  small  wooden  board,  bearing  bis 
name,  the  letters  of  which  were  nearly  obliterated. 
I  knelt  down  and  kissed  them,  and  poured  forth  a 
prayer  to  God  for  guidance  and  support  in  the  perilous 
step  I  was  about  to  take.  As  I  passed  the  wreck  of 
the  old  meeting  house,  where,  before  Nat  Turner's 
time,  the  slaves  had  been  allowed  to  meet  for  worship, 
I  seemed  to  hear  my  father's  voice  come  from  it,  bid 
ding  me  not  to  tarry  till  I  readied  freedom  or  the 


Scenes  at  the  Plantation.  139 

grave.  I  rushed  on  with  renovated  hopes.  My  trust 
in  God  had  been  strengthened  by  that  prayer  among 
the  graves. 

My  plan  was  to  conceal  myself  at  the  house  of  a 
friend,  and  remain  there  a  few  weeks  till  the  search 
was  over.  My  hope  was  that  the  doctor  would  get  dis 
couraged,  and,  for  fear  of  losing  my  value,  and  also  of 
subsequently  finding  my  children  among  the  missing, 
he  would  consent  to  sell  us ;  and  I  knew  somebody 
would  buy  us.  I  had  done  all  in  my  power  to  make 
my  children  comfortable  during  the  time  I  expected  to 
be  separated  from  them.  I  was  packing  my  things, 
when  grandmother  came  into  the  room,  and  asked 
what  I  was  doing.  "  I  am  putting  my  things  in  or 
der,"  I  replied.  I  tried  to  look  and  speak  cheerfully ; 
but  her  watchful  eye  detected  something  beneath  the 
surface.  She  drew  me  towards  her,  and  asked  me  to 
sit  down.  She  looked  earnestly  at  me,  and  said, 
"  Linda,  do  you  want  to  kill  your  old  grandmother  ? 
Do  you  mean  to  leave  your  little,  helpless  children  ? 
I  am  old  now,  and  cannot  do  for  your  babies  as  I  once 
did  for  you." 

I  replied,  that  if  I  went  away,  perhaps  their  father 
would  be  able  to  secure  their  freedom. 

"  Ah,  my  child,"  said  she,  "  don't  trust  too  much  to 
him.  Stand  by  your  own  children,  and  suffer  with 
them  till  death.  Nobody  respects  a  mother  who  for 
sakes  her  children ;  and  if  you  leave  them,  you  will 
never  have  a  happy  moment.  If  you  go,  you  will 
make  me  miserable  the  short  time  I  have  to  live.  You 
would  be  taken  and  brought  back,  and  your  sufferings 
would  be  dreadful.  Remember  poor  Benjamin.  Do 


140     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

give  it  up,  Linda.  Try  to  bear  a  little  longer.  Things 
may  turn  out  better  than  we  expect." 

My  courage  failed  me,  in  view  of  the  sorrow  I  should 
bring  on  that  faithful,  loving  old  heart.  I  promised 
that  I  would  try  longer,  and  that  I  would  take  nothing 
out  of  her  house  without  her  knowledge. 

Whenever  the  children  climbed  on  my  knee,  or  laid 
their  heads  on  my  lap,  she  would  say,  "  Poor  little 
souls !  what  would  you  do  without  a  mother  ?  She 
don't  love  you  as  I  do."  And  she  would  hug  them  to 
her  own  bosom,  as  if  to  reproach  me  for  my  want  of 
affection  ;  but  she  knew  all  the  while  that  I  loved  them 
better  than  my  life.  I  slept  with  her  that  night,  and 
it  was  the  last  time.  The  memory  of  it  haunted  me 
for  many  a  year. 

On  Monday  I  returned  to  the  plantation,  and  busied 
myself  with  preparations  for  the  important  day.  Wed 
nesday  came.  It  was  a  beautiful  day,  and  the  faces 
of  the  slaves  were  as  bright  as  the  sunshine.  The  poor 
creatures  were  merry.  They  were  expecting  little 
presents  from  the  bride,  and  hoping  for  better  times 
under  her  administration.  I  had  no  such  hopes- for 
them.  I  knew  that  the  young  wives  of  slaveholders 
often  thought  their  authority  and  importance  would  be 
best  established  and  maintained  by  cruelty  ;  and  what 
I  had  heard  of  young  Mrs.  Flint  gave  me  no  reason  to 
expect  that  her  rule  over  them  would  be  less  severe 
than  that  of  the  master  and  overseer.  Truly,  the 
colored  race  are  the  most  cheerful  and  forgiving  people 
on  the  face  of  the  earth.  That  their  masters  sleep 
in  safety  is  owing  to  their  superabundance  of  heart ; 
and  yet  they  look  upon  their  bufferings  with  less 


Scenes  at  the  Plantation.  141 

pity  than  they  wcmld  bestow  on  those  of  a  horse  or 
a  dog. 

I  stood  at  the  door  with  others  to  receive  the  bride 
groom  and  bride.  She  was  a  handsome,  delicate-look 
ing  girl,  and  her  face  flushed  with  emotion  at  sight  of 
her  new  home.  I  thought  it  likely  that  visions  of  a 
happy  future  were  rising  before  her.  It  made  me  sad  ; 
for  I  knew  how  soon  clouds  would  come  over  her  sun 
shine.  She  examined  every  part  of  the  house,  and 
told  me  she  was  delighted  with  the  arrangements  I 
had  made.  I  was  afraid  old  Mrs.  Flint  had  tried  to 
prejudice  her  against  me,  and  I  did  my  best  to  please 
her. 

All  passed  off  smoothly  for  me  until  dinner  time 
arrived.  I  did  not  mind  the  embarrassment  of  wait 
ing  on  a  dinner  party,  for  the  first  time  in  my  life, 
half  so  much  as  I  did  the  meeting  with  Dr.  Flint  and 
his  wife,  who  would  be  among  the  guests.  It  was  a 
mystery  to  me  why  Mrs.  Flint  had  not-  made  her  ap 
pearance  at  the  plantation  during  all  the  time  I  was 
putting  the  house  in  order.  I  had  not  met  her,  face  to 
face,  for  five  years,  and  I  had  no  wish  to  see  her  now. 
She  was  a  praying  woman,  and,  doubtless,  considered 
my  present  position  a  special  answer  to  her  prayers. 
Nothing  could  please  lier  better  than  to  see  me  hum 
bled  and  trampled  upon.  I  was  just  where  she  would 
have  me  —  in  the  power  of  a  hard,  unprincipled  mas 
ter.  She  did  not  speak  to  me  when  she  took  her  seat 
at  table  ;  but  her  satisfied,  triumphant  smile,  when  I 
handed  her  plate,  was  more  eloquent  than  words. 
The  old  doctor  was  not  so  quiet  in  his  demonstrations. 
He  ordered  me  here  and  there,  and  spoke  with  pecu- 


142      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

liar  emphasis  when  he  said  "  your  mistress."  I  was 
drilled  like  a  disgraced  soldier.  When  all  was  over, 
and  the  last  key  turned,  I  sought  my  pillow,  thank 
ful  that  God  had  appointed  a  season  of  rest  for  the 
weary. 

The  next  day  my  new  mistress  began  her  housekeep 
ing.  I  was  not  exactly  appointed  maid  of  all  work  ; 
but  I  was  to  do  whatever  I  was  told.  Monday  evening 
came.  It  was  always  a  busy  time.  On  that  night  the 
slaves  received  their  weekly  allowance  of  food.  Three 
pounds  of  meat,  a  peck  of  corn,  and  perhaps  a  dozen 
herring  were  allowed  to  each  man.  Women  received 
a  pound  and  a  half  of  meat,  a  peck  of  corn,  and  the 
same  number  of  herring.  Children  over  twelve  years 
old  had  half  the  allowance  of  the  women.  The  meat 
was  cut  and  weighed  by  the  foreman  of  the  field  hands, 
and  piled  on  planks  before  the  meat  house.  Then  the 
second  foreman  went  behind  the  building,  and  when 
the  first  foreman  called  out,  "  Who  takes  this  piece  of 
meat  ? "  he  answered  by  calling  somebody's  name. 
This  method  was  resorted  to  as  a  means  of  preventing 
partiality  in  distributing  the  meat.  The  young  mis 
tress  came  out  to  see  how  things  were  done  on  her 
plantation,  and  she  soon  gave  a  specimen  of  her  cjjar- 
acter.  Among  those  in  waiting  for  their  allowance 
was  a  very  old  slave,  who  had  faithfully  served  the 
Flint  family  through  three  generations.  When  he 
hobbled  up  to  get  his  bit  of  meat,  the  mistress  said  he 
was  too  old  to  have  any  allowance  ;  that  when  niggers 
were  too  old  to  work,  they  ought  to  be  fed  on  grass. 
Poor  old  man  !  He  suffered  much  before  he  found 
rest  in  the  grave. 


Scenes  at  the  Plantation.  143 

My  mistress  and  I  got  along  very  well  together.  At 
the  end  of  a  week,  old  Mrs.  Flint  made  us  another 
visit,  and  was  closeted  a  long  time  with  her  daughter- 
in-law.  I  had  my  suspicions  what  was  the  subject  of 
the  conference.  The  old  doctor's  wife  had  been  in 
formed  that  I  could  leave  the  plantation  on  one  condi 
tion,  and  she  was  very  desirous  to  keep  me  there.  If 
she  had  trusted  me,  as  I  deserved  to  be  trusted  by 
her.  she  would  have  had  no  fears  of  my  accepting 
that  condition.  When  she  entered  her  carriage  to  re 
turn  home,  she  said  to  young  Mrs.  Flint,  "  Don't  neg 
lect  to  send  for  them  as  quick  as  possible."  My  heart 
was  on  the  watch  all  the  time,  and  I  at  once  concluded 
that  she  spoke  of  my  children.  The  doctor  came  the 
next  day,  and  as  I  entered  the  room  to  spread  the  tea 
table,  I  heard  him  say,  "  Don't  wait  any  longer.  Send 
for  them  to-morrow."  I  saw  through  the  plan.  They 
thought  my  children's  being  there  would  fetter  me  to 
the  spot,  and  that  it  was  a  good  place  to  break  us  all 
in  to  abject  submission  to  our  lot  as  slaves.  After  the 
doctor  left,  a  gentleman  called,  who  had  always  man 
ifested  friendly  feelings  towards  my  grandmother  and 
her  family.  Mr.  Flint  carried  him  over  the  plantation 
to  show  him  the  results  of  labor  performed  by  men  and 
women  who  were  unpaid,  miserably  clothed,  and  half 
famished.  The  cotton  crop  was  all  they  thought  of. 
It  was  duly  admired,  and  the  gentleman  returned  with 
specimens  to  show  his  friends.  I  was  ordered  to  carry 
water  to  wash  his  hands.  As  I  did  so,  he  said, "  Linda, 
how  do  you  like  your  new  home  ?  "  I  told  him  I  liked 
it  as  well  as  I  expected.  He  replied,  "  They  don't 
think  you  are  contented,  and  to-morrow  they  are  going 


144      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

to  bring  your  children  to  be  with  you.  I  am  sorry  for 
you,  Linda.  I  hope  they  will  treat  you  kindly."  1 
hurried  from  the  room,  unable  to  thank  him.  My 
suspicions  were  correct.  My  children  were  to  be 
brought  to  the  plantation  to  be  "  broke  in." 

To  this  day  I  feel  grateful  to  the  gentleman  who 
gave  me  this  timely  information.  It  nerved  me  to 
immediate  action. 


The  Flight.  145 


XVII. 

THE    FLIGHT. 

MB.  FLINT  was  hard  pushed  for  house  servants,  and 
rather  than  lose  me  he  had  restrained  his  malice.  I 
did  my  work  faithfully,  though  not,  of  course,  with  a 
willing  mind.  They  were  evidently  afraid  I  should 
leave  them.  Mr.  I[lint  wished  that  I  should  sleep 
in  the  great  house  instead  of  the  servants'  quarters. 
His  wife  agreed  to  the  proposition,  but  said  I  mustn't 
bring  my  bed  into  the  house,  because  it  would  scatter 
feathers  on  her  carpet.  I  knew  when  I  went  there 
that  they  would  never  think  of  such  a  thing  as  furnish 
ing  a  bed  of  any  kind  for  me  and  my  little  one.  I 
therefore  carried  my  own  bed,  and  now  I  was  forbidden 
to  use  it.  I  did  as  I  was  ordered.  But  now  that  I 
was  certain  my  children  were  to  be  put  in  their 
power,  in  order  to  give  them  a  stronger  hold  on  me,  I 
resolved  to  leave  them  that  night.  I  remembered  the 
grief  this  step  would  bring  upon  my  dear  old  grand 
mother  ;  and  nothing  less  than  the  freedom  of  my  chil 
dren  would  have  induced  me  to  disregard  her  advice. 
I  went  about  my  evening  work  with  trembling  steps. 
Mr.  Flint  twice  called  from  his  chamber  door  to  in 
quire  why  the  house  was  not  locked  up.  I  replied  that 
I  had  not  done  my  work.  "  You  have  had  time  enough 
to  do  it,"  said  he.  "  Take  care  how  you  answer  me !  " 

I  shut  all   the  windows,  locked  all  the  doors,  and 
went  up  to  the  third  story,  to  wait  till  midnight.     How 

13 


Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

long  those  hours  seemed,  and  how  fervently  I  prayed 
that  God  would  not  forsake  me  in  this  hour  of  utmost 
need  !  I  was  about  to  risk  every  thing  on  the  throw 
of  a  die ;  and  if  I  failed,  0  what  would  become  of  me 
and  my  poor  children  ?  They  would  be  made  to  suffer 
for  my  fault. 

At  half  past  twelve  I  stole  softly  down  stairs.  I 
stopped  on  the  second  floor,  thinking  I  heard  a  noise. 
I  felt  my  way  down  into  the  parlor,  and  looked  out  of 
the  window.  The  night  was  so  intensely  dark  that  I 
could  see  nothing.  I  raised  the  window  very  softly 
and  jumped  out.  Large  drops  of  rain  were  falling, 
and  the  darkness  bewildered  me.  I  dropped  on  my 
knees,  and  breathed  a  short  prayer  to  God  for  guidance 
and  protection.  I  groped  my  way  to  the  road,  and 
rushed  towards  the  town  with  almost  lightning  speed. 
I  arrived  at  my  grandmother's  house,  but  dared  not 
see  her.  She  would  say,  "Linda,  you  are  killing  me;" 
and  I  knew  that  would  unnerve  me.  I  tapped  softly 
at  the  window  of  a  room,  occupied  by  a  woman,  who 
had  lived  in  the  house  several  years.  I  knew  she  was 
a  faithful  friend,  and  could  be  trusted  with  my  secret. 
I  tapped  several  times  before  she  heard  me.  At  last 
she  raised  the  window,  and  I  whispered,  "  Sally,  I  have 
run  away.  Let  me  in,  quick."  She  opened  the  door 
softly,  and  said  in  low  tones,  "  For  God's  sake,  don't. 
Your  grandmother  is  trying  to  buy  you  and  de  chillern. 
Mr.  bands  was  here  last  week.  He  tole  her  he  was 
going  away  on  business,  but  he  wanted  her  to  go  ahead 
about  buying  you  and  do  chillern,  and  he  would  help 
her  all  he  could.  Don't  run  away,  Linda.  Your 
grandmother  is  all  bowed  down  wid  trouble  now." 


The  Flight.  147 

I  replied,  "  Sally,  they  are  going  to  carry  my  chil 
dren  to  the  plantation  to-morrow ;  and  they  will  never 
sell  them  to  any  body  so  long  as  they  have  me  in  their 
power.  Now,  would  you  advise  me  to  go  back  ?  " 

"  No,  chile,  no,"  answered  she.  "  When  dey  finds 
you  is  gone,  dey  won't  want  de  plague  ob  de  chillern ; 
but  where  is  you  going  to  hide  ?  Dey  knows  ebery 
inch  ob  dis  house." 

I  told  her  I  had  a  hiding-place,  and  that  was  all  it 
was  best  for  her  to  know.  I  asked  her  to  go  into  my 
room  as  soon  as  it  was  light,  and  take  all  my  clothes 
out  of  my  trunk,  and  pack  them  in  hers ;  for  I  knew 
Mr.  Flint  and  the  constable  would  be  there  early  to 
search  my  room.  I  feared  the  sight  of  my  children 
would  be  too  much  for  my  full  heart ;  but  I  could  not 
go  out  into  the  uncertain  future  without  one  last  look. 
I  bent  over  the  bed  where  lay  my  little  Benny  and  baby 
Ellen.  Poor  little  ones  !  fatherless  and  motherless ! 
Memories  of  their  father  came  over  me.  He  wanted 
to  be  kind  to  them  ;  but  they  were  not  all  to  him,  as 
they  were  to  my  womanly  heart.  I  knelt  and  prayed 
for  the  innocent  little  sleepers.  I  kissed  them  lightly, 
and  turned  away. 

As  I  was  about  to  open  the  street  door,  Sally  laid 
her  hand  on  my  shoulder,  and  said,  "  Linda,  is  you 
gwine  all  alone  ?  Let  me  call  your  uncle." 

"  No,  Sally,"  I  replied,  "  I  want  no  one  to  be  brought 
into  trouble  on  my  account." 

I  went  forth  into  the  darkness  and  rain.  I  ran 
on  till  I  came  to  the  house  of  the  friend  who  was  to 
conceal  me. 

Early  the  next  morning  Mr.  Flint  was  at  my  grand- 


148     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

mother's  inquiring  for  me.  She  told  him  she  had  not 
seen  me,  and  supposed  I  was  at  the  plantation.  He 
watched  her  face  narrowly,  and  said,  "  Don't  you 
know  anything  about  her  running  off?"  She  assured 
him  that  she  did  not.  He- went  on  to  say,  "  Last  night 
she  ran  off  without  the  least  provocation.  We  had 
treated  her  very  kindly.  My  wife  liked  her.  She  will 
soon  be  found  and  brought  back.  Are  her  children  with 
you  ?  "  When  told  that  they  were,  he  said,  "  I  am 
very  glad  to  hear  that.  If  they  are  here,  she  cannot 
be  far  off.  If  I  find  out  that  any  of  my  niggers  have 
had  any  thing  to  do  with  this  damned  business,  I'll  give 
'ein  five  hundred  lashes."  As  he  started  to  go  to  his 
father's,  he  turned  round  and  added,  persuasively,  "Let 
her  be  brought  back,  and  she  shall  have  her  children 
to  live  with  her." 

The  tidings  made  the  old  doctor  rave  and  storm  at 
a  furious  rate.  It  was  a  busy  day  for  them.  My 
grandmother's  house  was  searched  from  top  to  bottom. 
As  my  trunk  was  empty,  they  concluded  I  had  taken 
my  clothes  with  me.  Before  ten  o'clock  every  vessel 
northward  bound  "was  thoroughly  examined,  and  the 
law  against  harboring  fugitives  was  read  to  all  on 
board.  At  night  a  watch  was  set  over  the  town. 
Knowing  how  distressed  my  grandmother  would  be,  I 
wanted  to  send  her  a  message ;  but  it  could  not  be 
done.  Every  one  who  went  in  or  out  of  her  house 
was  closely  watched.  The  doctor  said  he  would  take 
my  children,  unless  she  became  responsible  for  them ; 
which  of  course  she  willingly  did.  The  next  day  was 
spent  in  searching.  Before  night,  the  following  ad 
vertisement  was  posted  at  every  corner,  and  in  every 
public  place  for  miles  round :  — 


The  Flight.  149 

"$300  REWARD!  Ran  away  from  the  subscriber, 
an  intelligent,  bright,  mulatto  girl,  named  Linda,  21 
years  of  age.  Five  feet  four  inches  high.  Dark 
eyes,  and  black  hair  inclined  to  curl ;  but  it  can 
be  made  straight.  Has  a  decayed  spot  on  a  front 
tooth.  She  can  read  and  write,  and  in  all  probability 
will  try  to  get  to  the  Free  States.  All  persons  are  for 
bidden,  under  penalty  of  the  law,  to  harbor  or  employ 
said  slave.  $150  will  be  given  to  whoever  takes  her 
in  the  state,  and  $300  if  taken  out  of  the  state  and 
delivered  to  me,  or  lodged  in  jail. 

DR.  FLINT." 
13* 


150      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


XVIII. 

MONTHS  OF  PERIL. 

THE  search  for  me  was  kept  up  with  more  perse- 
verence  than  I  had  anticipated.  I  began  to  think  that 
escape  was  impossible.  I  was  in  great  anxiety  lest  I 
should  implicate  the  friend  who  harbored  me.  I  knew 
the  consequences  would  be  frightful ;  and  much  as  I 
dreaded  being  caught,  even  that  seemed  better  than 
causing  an  innocent  person  to  suffer  for  kindness  to  me. 
A  week  had  passed  in  terrible  suspense,  when  my  pur 
suers  came  into  such  close  vicinity  that  I  concluded 
they  had  tracked  me  to  my  hiding-place.  I  flew  out 
of  the  house,  and  concealed  myself  in  a  thicket  of 
bushes.  There  I  remained  in  an  agony  of  fear  for  two 
hours.  Suddenly,  a  reptile  of  some  kind  seized  my 
leg.  In  my  fright,  I  struck  a  blow  which  loosened  its 
hold,  but  I  could  not  tell  whether  I  had  killed  it ;  it 
was  so  dark,  I  could  not  see  what  it  was  ;  I  only  knew 
it  was  something  cold  and  slimy.  The  pain  I  felt  soon 
indicated  that  the  bite  was  poisonous.  I  was  compelled 
to  leave  my  place  of  concealment,  and  I  groped  my  way 
back  into  the  house.  The  pain  had  become  intense, 
and  my  friend  was  startled  by  my  look  of  anguish.  I 
asked  her  to  prepare  a  poultice  of  warm  ashes  and 
vinegar,  and  I  applied  it  to  my  leg,  which  was  already 
much  swollen.  The  application  gave  me  some  relief, 
but  the  swelling  did  not  abate.  The  dread  of  being 
disabled  was  greater  than  the  physical  pain  I  endured. 


Months  of  Peril.  151 

My  friend  asked  an  old  woman,  who  doctored  among 
the  slaves,  what  was  good  for  the  bite  of  a  snake  or  a 
lizard.  She  told  her  to  steep  a  dozen  coppers  in  vine 
gar,  over  night,  and  apply  the  cankered  vinegar  to  the 
inflamed  part.* 

I  had  succeeded  in  cautiously  conveying  some  mes 
sages  to  my  relatives.  They  were  harshly  threatened, 
and  despairing  of  my  having  a  chance  to  escape,  they 
advised  me  to  return  to  my  master,  aek  his  forgiveness, 
and  let  him  make  an  example  of  me.  But  such  coun 
sel  had  no  influence  with  me.  "When  I  started  upon 
this  hazardous  undertaking,  I  had  resolved  that,  come 
what  would,  there  should  be  no  turning  back.  "  Give 
me  liberty,  or  give  me  death,"  was  my  motto.  When 
my  friend  contrived  to  make  known  to  my  relatives  the 
painful  situation  I  had  been  in  for  twenty-four  hours, 
they  said  no  more  about  my  going  back  to  my  master. 
Something  must  be  done,  and  that  speedily  ;  but  where 
to  turn  for  help,  they  knew  not.  God  in  his  mercy 
raised  up  "  a  friend  in  need." 

Among  the  ladies  who  were  acquainted  with  my 
grandmother,  was  one  who  had  known  her  from  child 
hood,  and  always  been  very  friendly  to  her.  She  had 
also  known  my  mother  and  her  children,  and  felt  inter 
ested  for  them.  At  this  crisis  of  affairs  she  called  to 
see  my  grandmother,  as  she  not  unfrequently  did.  She 
observed  the  sad  and  troubled  expression  of  her  face, 
and  asked  if  she  knew  where  Linda  was,  and  whether 

*  The  poison  of  a  snake  is  a  powerful  acid,  and  is  counteracted  by  pow 
erful  alkalies,  such  as  potash,  ammonia,  &c.  The  Indians  are  accustomed 
to  apply  wet  ashes,  or  plunge  the  limb  into  strong  lie.  White  men,  em 
ployed  to  lay  out  railroads  in  snaky  places,  often  carry  ammonia  with 
them  as  an  ai  tidote.  —  EDITOR. 


152      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

slie  was  safe.  My  grandmother  shook  her  head,  with 
out  answering.  "  Come,  Aunt  Martha,"  said-Hhe  kind 
lady,  "  tell  me  all  ahout  it.  Perhaps  I  can  do  some 
thing  to  help  you."  The  husband  of  this  lady  held 
many  slaves,  and  bought  and  sold  slaves.  She  also 
held  a  number  in  her  own  name  ;  but  she  treated  them 
kindly,  and  would  never  allow  any  of  them  to  be  sold. 
She  was  unlike  the  majority  of  slaveholders'  wives.  My 
grandmother  looked  earnestly  at  her.  Something  in  the 
expression  of  her  face  said  "  Trust  me  !  "  and  she  did 
trust  her.  She  listened  attentively  to  the  details  of 
my  story,  and  sat  thinking  for  a  while.  At  last  she 
said,  "  Aunt  Martha,  I  pity  you  both.  If  you  think 
there  is  any  chance  of  Linda's  getting  to  the  Free 
States,  I  will  conceal  her  for  a  time.  But  first  you 
must  solemnly  promise  that  my  name  shall  never  be 
mentioned.  If  such  a  thing  should  become  known,  it 
would  ruin  me  and  my  family.  No  one  in  my  house 
must  know  of  it,  except  the  cook.  She  is  so  faithful 
that  I  would  trust  my  own  life  with  her  ;  and  I  know 
she  likes  Linda.  It  is  a  great  risk  ;  but  I  trust  no  harm 
will  come  of  it.  Get  word  to  Linda  to  be  ready  as  soon  as 
it  is  dark,  before  the  patrols  are  out.  I  will  send  the 
housemaids  on  errands,  and  Betty  shall  go  to  meet 
Linda."  The  place  where  we  were  to  meet  was  desig 
nated  and  agreed  upon.  My  grandmother  was  unable 
to  thank  the  lady  for  this  noble  deed  ;  overcome  by  her 
emotions,  she  sank  on  her  knees  and  sobbed  like  a  child. 
I  received  a  message  to  leave  my  friend's  house  at 
such  an  hour,  and  go  to  a  certain  place  where  a  friend 
would  be  waiting  for  me.  As  a  matter  of  prudence  no 
names  were  mentioned.  I  had  no  means  of  conjectur- 


Months  of  Peril.  153 

ing  who  I  was  to  meet,  or  where  I  was  going.  I  did 
not  like  to  move  thus  blindfolded,  but  I  had  no  choice. 
It  would  not  do  for  me  to  remain  where  I  was.  I  dis 
guised  myself,  summoned  up  courage  to  meet  the  worst, 
and  went  to  the  appointed  place.  My  friend  Betty  was 
there ;  she  was  the  last  person  I  expected  to  see.  We 
hurried  along  in  silence.  The  pain  in  my  leg  was  so 
intense  that  it  seemed  as  if  I  should  drop  ;  but  fear 
gave  me  strength.  We  reached  the  house  and  entered 
unobserved.  Her  first  words  were  :  "  Honey,  now  you 
is  safe.  Dem  devils  ain't  coming  to  search  dis  house. 
When  I  get  you  into  missis'  safe  place,  I  will  bring 
some  nice  hot  supper.  I  specs  you  need  it  after  all  dis 
skeering."  Betty's  vocation  led  her  to  think  eating 
the  most  important  thing  in  life.  She  did  not  realize 
that  my  heart  was  too  full  for  me  to  care  much  about 
supper. 

The  mistress  came  to  meet  us,  and  led  me  up  stairs 
to  a  small  room  over  her  own  sleeping  apartment. 
"  You  will  be  safe  here,  Linda,"  said  she;  "I  keep  this 
room  to  store  away  things  that  are  out  of  use.  The 
girls  are  not  accustomed  to  be  sent  to  it,  and  they  will 
not  suspect  any  thing  unless  they  hear  some  noise.  I 
always  keep  it  locked,  and  Betty  shall  take  care  of  the 
key.  But  you  must  be  very  careful,  for  my  sake  as 
well  as  your  own  ;  and  you  must  never  tell  my  secret ; 
for  it  would  ruin  me  and  my  family.  I  will  keep  the 
girls  busy  in  the  morning,  that  Betty  may  have  a  chance 
to  bring  your  breakfast ;  but  it  will  not  do  for  her  to 
come  to  you  again  till  night.  I  will  come  to  see  you 
sometimes.  Keep  up  your  courage.  I  hope  this  state 
of  things  will  not  last  long."  Betty  came  with  the 


154     .Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

"  nice  hot  supper,"  and  the  mistress  hastened  down 
stairs  to  keep  things  straight  till  she  returned.  How 
my  heart  overflowed  with  gratitude !  Words  choked 
in  my  throat ;  but  I  could  have  kissed  the  feet  of  my 
benefactress.  For  that  deed  of  Christian  womanhood, 
may  God  forever  bless  her  ! 

I  went  to  sleep  that  night  with  the  feeling  that  I  was 
for  the  present  the  most  fortunate  slave  in  town. 
Morning  came  and  filled  my  little  cell  with  light.  I 
thanked  the  heavenly  Father  for  this  safe  retreat. 
Opposite  my  window  was  a  pile  of  feather  beds.  On 
the  top  of  these  I  could  lie  perfectly  concealed,  and 
command  a  view  of  the  street  through  which  Dr.  Flint 
passed  to  his  office.  Anxious  as  I  was,  I  felt  a  gleam 
of  satisfaction  when  I  saw  him.  Thus  far  I  had  out 
witted  him,  and  I  triumphed  over  it.  Who  can  blame 
slaves  for  being  cunning  ?  They  are  constantly  com 
pelled  to  resort  to  it.  It  is  the  only  weapon  of  the 
weak  and  oppressed  against  the  strength  of  their 
tyrants. 

I  was  daily  hoping  to  hear  that  my  master  had  sold 
my  children ;  for  I  knew  who  was  on  the  watch  to  buy 
them.  But  Dr.  Flint  cared  even  more  for  revenge 
than  he  did  for  money.  My  brother  William,  and  the 
good  aunt  who  had  served  in  his  family  twenty  years, 
and  my  little  Benny,  and  Ellen,  who  was  a  little  over 
two  years  old,  were  thrust  into  jail,  as  a  means  of  com 
pelling  my  relatives  to  give  some  information  about  me. 
He  swore  my  grandmother  should  never  see  one  of 
them  again  till  I  was  brought  back.  They  kept  these 
facts  from  me  for  several  days.  When  I  heard  that  my 
little  ones  were  in  a  loathsome  jail,  my  first  impulse 


Months  of  Peril. 


was  to  go  to  them.  I  was  encountering  dangers  for 
the  sake  of  freeing  them,  and  must  I  be  the  cause  of 
their  death  ?  The  thought  was  agonizing.  My  benefac 
tress  tried  to  soothe  me  by  telling  me  that  my  aunt  would 
take  good  care  of  the  children  while  they  remained  in 
jail.  But  it  addred  to  my  pain  to  think  that  the  good 
old  aunt,  who  had  always  been  so  kind  to  her  sister's 
orphan  children,  should  be  shut  up  in  prison  for  no 
other  crime  than  loving  them.  I  suppose  my  friends 
feared  a  reckless  movement  on  my  part,  knowing,  as 
they  did,  that  my  life  was  bound  up  in  my  children. 
I  received  a  note  from  my  brother  William.  It  was 
scarcely  legible,  and  ran  thus  :  "  Wherever  you  are, 
dear  sister,  I  beg  of  you  not  to  come  here.  We  are 
all  much  better  off  than  you  are.  If  you  come,  you 
will  ruin  us  all.  They  would  force  you  to  tell  where 
you  had  been,  or  they  would  kill  you.  Take  the  ad 
vice  of  your  friends  ;  if  not  for  the  sake  of  me  and 
your  children,  at  least  for  the  sake  of  those  you  would 
ruin." 

Poor  William  !  He  also  must  suffer  for  being  my 
brother.  I  took  his  advice  and  kept  quiet.  My  aunt 
was  taken  out  of  jail  at  the  end  of  a  month,  because 
Mrs.  Flint  could  not  spare  her  any  longer.  She  was 
tired  of  being  her  own  housekeeper.  It  was  quite  too 
fatiguing  to  order  her  dinner  and  eat  it  too.  My 
children  remained  in  jail,  where  brother  William  did 
all  he  could  for  their  comfort.  Betty  went  to  see  them 
sometimes,  and  brought  me  tidings.  She  was  not  per 
mitted  to  enter  the  jail  ;  but  William  would  hold  them 
up  to  the  grated  window  while  she  chatted  with  them. 
When  she  repeated  their  prattle,  and  told  me  how  they 


156      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

wanted  to  see  their  ma,  my  tears  would  flow.  Old 
Betty  would  exclaim,  "  Lors,  chile  !  what's  you  crying 
'bout  ?  Dem  young  uns  vil  kill  you  dead.  Don't  be 
so  chick'n  hearted !  If  you  does,  you  vil  nebber  git 
thro'  dis  world."  , 

Good  old  soul !  She  had  gone  through  the  world 
childless.  She  had  never  had  little  ones  to  clasp  their 
arms  round  her  neck ;  she  had  never  seen  their  soft 
eyes  looking  into  hers ;  no  sweet  little  voices  had  called 
her  mother ;  she  had  never  pressed  her  own  infants  to 
her  heart,  with  the  feeling  that  even  in  fetters  there 
was  something  to  live  for.  How  could  she  realize  my 
feelings  ?  Betty's  husband  loved  children  dearly,  and 
wondered  why  God  had  denied  them  to  him.  He  ex 
pressed  great  sorrow  when  he  came  to  Betty  with  the 
tidings  that  Ellen  had  been  taken  out  of  jail  and 
carried  to  Dr.  Flint's.  She  had  the  measles  a  short 
time  before  they  carried  her  to  jail,  and  the  disease 
had  left  her  eyes  affected.  The  doctor  had  taken  her 
home  to  attend  to  them.  My  children  had  always  been 
afraid  of  the  doctor  and  his  wife.  They  had  never 
been  inside  of  their  house.  Poor  little  Ellen  cried  all 
day  to  be  carried  back  to  prison.  The  instincts  of 
childhood  are  true.  She  knew  she  was  loved  in  the 
jail.  Her  screams  and  sobs  annoyed  Mrs.  Flint.  Be 
fore  night  she  called  one  of  the  slaves,  and  said,  "  Here, 
Bill,  carry  this  brat  back  to  the  jail.  I  can't  stand 
her  noise.  If  she  would  be  quiet  I  should  like  to 
keep  the  little  minx.  She  would  make  a  handy  wait 
ing-maid  for  my  daughter  by  and  by.  But  if  she 
staid  here,  with  her  white  face,  I  suppose  I  should 
either  kill  her  or  spoil  her.  I  hope  the  doctor  will 


Months  of  Peril.  157 

sell  them  as  far  as  wind  and  water  can  carry  them. 
As  for  their  mother,  her  ladyship  will  find  out  yet 
what  she  gets  by  running  away.  She  hasn't  so  much 
feeling  for  her  children  as  a  cow  has  for  its  calf.  If 
she  had,  she  would  have  come  back  long  ago,  to  get 
them  out  of  jail,  and  save  all  this  expense  and  trouble. 
The  good-for-nothing  hussy  !  When  she  is  caught,  she 
shall  stay  in  jail,  in  irons,  for  one  six  months,  and  then 
be  sold  to  a  sugar  plantation.  I  shall  see  her  broke  in 
yet.  What  do  you  stand  there  for,  Bill  ?  Why  don't 
you  go  off  with  the  brat  ?  Mind,  now,  that  you  don't 
let  any  of  the  niggers  speak  to  her  in  the  street ! " 

When  these  remarks  were  reported  to  me,  I  smiled 
at  Mrs.  Flint's  saying  that  shfe  should  either  kill  my 
child  or  spoil  her.  I  thought  to  myself  there  was  very 
little  danger  of  the  latter.  I  have  always  considered 
it  as  one  of  God's  special  providences  that  Ellen 
screamed  till  she  was  carried  back  to  jail. 

That  same  night  Dr.  Flint  was  called  to  a  patient, 
and  did  not  return  till  near  morning.  Passing  my 
grandmother's,  he  saw  a  light  in  the  house,  and  thought 
to  himself,  "  Perhaps  this  has  something  to  do  with 
Linda."  He  knocked,  and  the  door  was  opened. 
"  What  calls  you  up  so  early  ?  "  said  he.  "  I  saw  your 
light,  and  I  thought  I  would  just  stop  and  tell  you  that 
I  have  found  out  where  Linda  is.  I  know  where  to 
put  my  hands  on  her,  and  I  shall  have  her  before 
twelve  o'clock."  When  he  had  turned  away,  my 
grandmother  and  my  uncle  looked  anxiously  at  each 
other.  They  did  not  know  whether  or  not  it  was 
merely  one  of  the  doctor's  tricks  to  frighten  them.  In 
their  uncertainty,  they  thought  it  was  best  to  have  a 

14 


158      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

message  conveyed  to  ray  friend  Betty.  Unwilling  to 
alarm  her  mistress,  Betty  resolved  to  dispose  of  me 
herself.  She  came  to  me,  and  told  me  to  rise  and 
dress  quickly.  We  hurried  down  stairs,  and  across 
the  yard,  into  the  kitchen.  She  locked  the  door,  and 
lifted  up  a  plank  in  the  floor.  A  buffalo  skin  and  a 
bit  of  carpet  were  spread  for  me  to  lie  on,  and  a  quilt 
thrown  over  me.  "  Stay  dar,"  said  she,  "  till  I  sees  if 
dey  know  'bout  you.  Dey  say  dey  vil  put  thar  bans 
on  you  afore  twelve  o'clock.  If  dey  did  know  whai 
you  are,  dey  won't  know  now.  Dey'll  be  disapinted 
dis  time.  Dat's  all  I  got  to  say.  If  dey  comes  rum- 
magin  'mong  my  tings,  dey'll  get  one  bressed  sarssin 
from  dis  'ere  nigger."  In  my  shallow  bed  I  had  but 
just  room  enough  to  bring  my  hands  to  my  face  to 
keep  the  dust  out  of  my  eyes ;  for  Betty  walked  over 
me  twenty  times  in  an  hour,  passing  from  the  dresser 
to  the  fireplace.  When  she  was  alone,  I  could  hear 
her  pronouncing  anathemas  over  Dr.  Flint  and  all  his 
tribe,  every  now  and  then  saying,  with  a  chuckling 
laugh,  "  Dis  nigger's  too  cute  for  'em  dis  time." 
When  the  housemaids  were  about,  she  had  sly  ways 
of  drawing  them  out,  that  I  might  hear  what  they 
would  say.  She  would  repeat  stories  she  had  heard 
about  my  being  in  this,  or  that,  or  the  other  place.  To 
which  they  would  answer,  that  I  was  not  fool  enough 
to  be  staying  round  there ;  that  I  was  in  Philadelphia 
or  New  York  before  this  time.  When  all  were  abed 
and  asleep,  Betty  raised  the  plank,  and  said,  "  Come 
out,  chile ;  come  out.  Dey  don't  know  nottin  'bout 
you.  Twas  only  white  folks'  lies,  to  skeer  de  niggers." 
Some  days  after  this  adventure  I  had  a  much  worse 


w 

Months  of  Peril.  159 

fright.  As  I  sat  very  still  in  my  retreat  above  stairs, 
cheerful  visions  floated  through  my  mind.  I  thought 
Dr.  Flint  would  soon  get  discouraged,  and  would  be 
willing  to  sell  my  children,  when  he  lost  all  hopes  of 
making  them  the  means  of  my  discovery.  I  knew 
who  was  ready  to  buy  them.  Suddenly  I  heard  a  voice 
that  chilled  my  blood.  The  sound  was  too  familiar  to 
me,  it  had  been  too  dreadful,  for  me  not  to  recognize 
at  once  my  old  master.  He  was  in  the  house,  and  I 
at  once  concluded  lie  had  come  to  seize  me.  I  looked 
round  in  terror.  There  was  no  way  of  escape.  The 
voice  receded.  I  supposed  the  constable  was  with  him, 
and  they  were  searching  the  house.  In  my  alarm  I 
did  not  forget  the  trouble  I  was  bringing  on  my  gener 
ous  benefactress.  It  seemed  as  if  I  were  born  to  bring 
sorrow  on  all  who  befriended  me,  and  that  was  the 
bitterest  drop  in  the  bitter  cup  of  my  life.  After  a 
while  I  heard  approaching  footsteps;  the  key  was 
turned  in  my  door.  I  braced  myself  against  the  wall 
to  keep  from  falling.  I  'Ventured  to  look  up,  and  there 
stood  my  kind  benefactress  alone.  I  was  too  much 
overcome  to  speak,  and  sunk  down  upon  the  floor. 

"  I  thought  you  would  hear  your  master's  voice," 
she  said ;  "  and  knowing  you  would  be  terrified,  I 
came  to  tell  you  there  is  nothing  to  fear.  You  may 
even  indulge  in  a  laugh  at  the  old  gentleman's  ex 
pense.  He  is  so  sure  you  are  in  New  York,  that  he 
came  to  borrow  five  hundred  dollars  to  go  in  pursuit 
of  you.  My  sister  had  some  money  to  loan  on  interest. 
He  has  obtained  it,  and  proposes  to  start  for  New  York 
to-night.  So,  for  the  present,  you  see  you  are  safe. 
The  doctor  will  merely  lighten  his  pocket  hunting  after 
the  bird  he  has  left  behind." 


160      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


XIX. 

THE   CHILDREN  SOLD. 

THE  doctor  came  back  from  New  York,  of  course 
without  accomplishing  his  purpose.  He  had  expended 
considerable  money,  and  was  rather  disheartened.  My 
brother  and  the  children  had  now  been  in  jail  two 
months,  and  that  also  was  some  expense.  My  friends 
thought  it  was  a  favorable  time  to  work  on  his  dis 
couraged  feelings.  Mr.  Sands  sent  a  speculator  to 
offer  him  nine  hundred  dollars  for  my  brother  Wil 
liam,  and  eight  hundred  for  the  two  children.  These 
were  high  prices,  as  slaves  were  then  selling ;  but  the 
offer  was  rejected.  If  it  had  been  merely  a  question 
of  money,  the  doctor  would  have  sold  any  boy  of 
Benny's  age  for  two  hundred  dollars ;  but  he  could 
not  bear  to  give  up  the  power  of  revenge.  But  he 
was  hard  pressed  for  money,  and  he  revolved  the  matter 
in  his  mind.  He  knew  that  if  he  could  keep  Ellen  till 
she  was  fifteen,  he  could  sell  her  for  a  high  price ;'  but 
I  presume  he  reflected  that  she  might  die,  or  might  be 
stolen  away.  At  all  events,  he  came  to  the  conclusion 
that  he  had  better  accept  the  slave-trader's  offer. 
Meeting  him  in  the  street,  he  inquired  when  he  would 
leave  town.  "  To-day,  at  ten  o'clock,"  he  replied. 
."Ah,  do  you  go  so  soon  ? "  said  the  doctor ;  "  I  have 
been  reflecting  upon  your  proposition,  and  I  have  con 
cluded  to  let  you  have  the  three  negroes  if  you  will 
say  nineteen  hundred  dollars."  After  some  parley, 


The  Children  Sold.  161 

the  trader  agreed  to  his  terms.  He  wanted  the  bill  of 
sale  drawn  up  and  signed  immediately,  as  he  had  a 
great  deal  to  attend  to  during  the  short  time  he  re 
mained  in  town.  The  doctor  went  to  the  jail  and  told 
William  he  would  take  him  back  into  his  service  if  he 
would  promise  to  behave  himself;  but  he  replied  that  he 
would  rather  be  sold.  "  And  you  shall  be  sold,  you  un 
grateful  rascal ! "  exclaimed  the  doctor.  In  less  than 
an  hour  the  money  was  paid,  the  papers  were  signed, 
sealed,  and  delivered,  and  my  brother  and  children 
were  in  the  hands  of  the  trader. 

It  was  a  hurried  transaction  ;  and  after  it  was  over, 
the  doctor's  characteristic  caution  returned.  He  went 
back  to  the  speculator,  and  said,  "  Sir,  I  have  come  to 
lay  you  under  obligations  of  a  thousand  dollars  not  to 
Bell  any  of  those  negroes  in  this  state."  "  You  come 
too  late,"  replied  the  trader;  "our  bargain  is  closed." 
He  had,  in  fact,  already  sold  them  to  Mr.  Sands,  but 
he  did  not  mention  it.  The  doctor  required  him  to 
put  irons  on  "  that  rascal,  Bill,"  and  to  pass  through 
the  back  streets  when  he  took  his  gang  out  of  town. 
The  trader  was  privately  instructed  to  concede  to  his 
wishes.  My  good  old  aunt  went  to  the  jail  to  bid  the 
children  good  by,  supposing  them  to  be  the  specu 
lator's  property,  and  that  she  should  never  see  them 
again.  As  she  held  Benny  in  her  lap,  he  said,  "  Aunt 
Nancy,  I  want  to  show  you  something."  He  led  her 
to  the  door  and  showed  her  a  long  row  of  marks,  say? 
ing,  "  Uncle  Will  taiight  me  to  count.  I  have  made  a 
mark  for  every  day  I  have  been  here,  and  it  is  sixty 
days.  It  is  a  long  time  ;  and  the  speculator  is  going 
to  take  me  and  Ellen  away.  He's  a  bad  man.  It's 

14- 


162      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

wrong  for  him  to  take  grandmother's  children.  I  want 
to  go  to  my  mother." 

My  grandmother  was  told  that  the  children  would 
be  restored  to  her,  but  she  was  requested  to  act  as  if 
they  were  really  to  be  sent  away.  Accordingly,  she 
made  up  a  bundle  of  clothes  and  went  to  the  jail. 
When  she  arrived,  she  found  William  handcuffed 
among  the  gang,  and  the  children  in  the  trader's  cart. 
The  scene  seemed  too  much  like  reality.  She  Avas 
afraid  there  might  have  been  some  deception  or  mis 
take.  She  fainted,  and  was  carried  home. 

When  the  wagon  stopped  at  the  hotel,  several  gentle 
men  came  out  and  proposed  to  purchase  William,  but 
the  trader  refused  their  offers,  without  stating  that  he 
was  already  sold.  And  now  came  the  trying  hour  for 
that  drove  of  human  beings,  driven  away  like  cattle,  to 
be  sold  they  knew  not  where.  Husbands  were  torn  from 
wives,  parents  from  children,  never  to  look  upon  each 
other  again  this  side  the  grave.  There  was  wringing 
of  hands  and  cries  of  despair. 

Dr.  Flint  had  the  supreme  satisfaction  of  seeing  the 
wagon  leave  town,  and  Mrs.  Flint  had  the  gratification 
of  supposing  that  my  children  were  going  "  as  far  as 
wind  and  water  would  carry  them."  According  to 
agreement,  my  uncle  followed  the  wagon  some  miles, 
until  they  came  to  an  old  farm  house.  There  the 
trader  took  the  irons  from  William,  and  as  he  did  so, 
he  said,  "  You  are  a  damned  clever  fellow.  I  should 
like  to  own  you  myself.  Them  gentlemen  that  wanted 
to  buy  you  said  you  was  a  bright,  honest  chap,  and  I 
must  git  you  a  good  home.  I  guess  your  old  master 
will  swear  to-morrow,  and  call  himself  an  old  fool  for 


The  Children  Sold.  163 

selling  the  children.  I  reckon  he'll  never  git  their 
mammy  back  agin.  I  expect  she's  made  tracks  for 
the  north.  Good  by,  old  boy.  Remember,  I  have 
done  you  a  good  turn.  You  must  thank  me  by  coax 
ing  all  the  pretty  gals  to  go  with  me  next  fall.  That's 
going  to  be  my  last  trip.  This  trading  in  niggers  is  a 
bad  business  for  a  fellow  that's  got  any  heart.  Move 
on,  you  fellows  !  "  And  the  gang  went  on,  God  alone 
knows  where. 

Much  as  I  despise  and  detest  the  class  of  slave-traders, 
whom  I  regard  as  the  vilest  wretches  on  earth,  I  must 
do  this  man  the  justice  to  say  that  he  seemed  to  have 
some  feeling.  He  took  a  fancy  to  William  in-  the  jail, 
and  wanted  to  buy  him.  When  he  heard  the  story  of 
my  children,  he  was  willing  to  aid  them  in  getting  out 
of  Dr.  Flint's  power,  even  without  charging  the 
customary  fee. 

My  uncle  procured  a  wagon  and  carried  William 
and  tbe  children  back  to  town.  Great  was  the  joy 
in  my  grandmother's  house !  The  curtains  were 
closed,  and  the  candles  lighted.  The  happy  grand 
mother  cuddled  the  little  ones  to  her  bosom.  They 
hugged  her,  and  kissed  her,  and  clapped  their  hands, 
and  shouted.  She  knelt  down  and  poured  forth  one 
of  her  heartfelt  prayers  of  thanksgiving  to  God.  The 
father  was  present  for  a  while ;  and  though  such  a 
"  parental  relation  "  as  existed  between  him  and  my 
children  takes  slight  hold  of  the  hearts  or  consciences 
of  slaveholders,  it  must  be  that  he  experienced  some 
moments  of  pure  joy  in  witnessing  the  happiness  he 
had  impaited. 

1   had   no   share  in   the  rejoicings  of  that  evening. 


164      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

The  events  of  the  day  had  not  come  to  my  knowledge. 
And  now  I  will  tell  you  something  that  happened  to 
me ;  though  you  will,  perhaps,  think  it  illustrates  the 
superstition  of  slaves.  I  sat  in  my  usual  place  on  the 
floor  near  the  window,  where  I  could  hear  much  that 
was  said  in  the  street  without  being  seen.  The  family 
had  retired  for  the  night,  and  all  was  still.  I  sat  there 
thinking  of  my  children,  when  I  heard  a  low  strain  of 
music.  A  band  of  serenaders  were  under  the  window, 
playing  "  Home,  sweet  home."  I  listened  till  the 
sounds  did  not  seem  like  music,  but  like  the  moaning 
of  children.  It  seemed  as  if  my  heart  would  burst. 
I  rose  from  my  sitting  posture,  and  knelt.  A  streak 
of  moonlight  was  on  the  floor  before  me,  and  in  the 
midst  of  it  appeared  the  forms  of  my  two  children. 
They  vanished ;  but  I  had  seen  them  distinctly.  Some 
will  call  it  a  dream,  others  a  vision.  I  know  not  how 
to  account  for  it,  but  it  made  a  strong  impression  on 
my  mind,  and  I  felt  certain  something  had  happened 
to  my  little  ones. 

I  had  not  seen  Betty  since  morning.  Now  I  heard 
her  softly  turning  the  key.  As  soon  as  she  entered,  I 
clung  to  her,  and  begged  her  to  let  me  know  whether 
my  children  were  dead,  or  whether  they  were  sold ;  for 
I  had  seen  their  spirits  in  my  room,  and  I  was  sure 
something  had  happened  to  them.  "  Lor,  chile,"  said 
she,  putting  her  arms  round  me,  "  you's  got  de  high- 
sterics.  I'll  sleep  wid  you  to-night,  'cause  you'll  make 
a  noise,  and  ruin  missis.  Something  has  stirred  you 
up  mightily.  When  you  is  done  cryin,  I'll  talk  wid  you. 
De  chillcrn  is  well,  and  mighty  happy.  I  seed  'em  my- 
self.  Does  dat  satisfy  you?  Dar,  chile,  be  still!  Some- 


The  Children  Sold.  165 

body  vill  hear  you."  I  tried  to  obey  her.  She  lay 
down,  and  was  soon  sound  asleep ;  but  no  sleep  would 
come  to  my  eyelids. 

At  dawn,  Betty  was  up  and  off  to  the  kitchen.  The 
hours  passed  on,  and  the  vision  of  the  night  kept  con 
stantly  recurring  to  my  thoughts.  After  a  while  I 
heard  the  voices  of  two  women  in  the  entry.  In  one 
of  them  I  recognized  the  housemaid.  The  other  said 
to  her,  "  Did  you  know  Linda  Brent's  children  was  sold 
to  the  speculator  yesterday.  They  say  ole  massa  Flint 
was  mighty  glad  to  see  'em  drove  out  of  town ;  but 
they  say  they've  come  back  agin?  I  'spect  it's  all  their 
daddy's  doings.  They  say  he's  bought  William  too. 
Lor !  how  it  will  take  hold  of  ole  massa  Flint !  I'm 
going  roun'  to  aunt  Marthy's  to  see  'bout  it." 

I  bit  my  lips  till  the  blood  came  to  keep  from  cry 
ing  out.  Were  my  children  with  their  grandmother, 
or  had  the  speculator  carried  them  off  ?  The  suspense 
was  dreadful.  Would  Betty  never  come,  and  tell  me 
the  truth  about  it  ?  At  last  she  came,  and  I  eagerly 
repeated  what  I  had  overheard.  Her  face  was  one 
broad,  bright  smile.  "  Lor,  you  foolish  ting !  "  said 
she.  "  I'se  gwine  to  tell  you  all  'bout  it.  De  gals  is 
eating  thar  breakfast,  and  missus  tole  me  to  let  her  tell 
you  ;  but,  poor  creeter !  t'aint  right  to  keep  you  waitin', 
and  I'se  gwiue  to  tell  you.  Brudder,  chillern,  all  is 
bought  by  do  daddy !  I'se  laugh  more  dan  nuff,  linking 
'bout  ole  massa  Flint.  Lor,  how  he  vill  swar !  He's 
got  ketched  dis  time,  any  how  ;  but  I  must  be  getting 
out  o'  dis,  or  dem  gals  vill  come  and  ketch  we." 

Betty  went  off  laughing;  and  I  said  to  myself,  "  Can 
it  be  true  that  my  children  are  free  ?  I  have  not  suf 
fered  for  them  in  vain.  Thank  God  !  " 


166      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

Great  surprise  was  expressed  when  it  was  known 
that  my  children  had  returned  to  their  grandmother's. 
The  news  spread  through  the  town,  and  many  a  kind 
word  was  bestowed  on  the  little  ones. 

Dr.  Flint  went  to  my  grandmother's  to  ascertain  who 
was  the  owner  of  my  children,  and  she  informed  him. 
"  I  expected  as  much,"  said  he.  "  I  am  glad  to  hear 
it.  I  have  had  news  from  Linda  lately,  and  I  shall 
soon  have  her.  You  need  never  expect  to  see  her  free. 
She  shall  be  my  slave  as  long  as  I  live,  and  when  I  am 
dead  she  shall  be  the  slave  of  my  children.  If  I  ever 
find  out  that  you  or  Fhillip  had  any  thing  to  do  with 
her  running  off  I'll  kill  him.  And  if  I  meet  William 
in  the  street,  and  he  presumes  to  look  at  me,  I'll  flog 
him  within  an  inch  of  his  life.  Keep  those  brats  out 
of  my  sight !  " 

As  he  turned  to  leave,  my  grandmother  said  some 
thing'  to  remind  him  of  his  own  doings.  He  looked 
back  upon  her,  as  if  he  would  have  been  glad  to  strike 
her  to  the  ground. 

I  had  my  season  of  joy  and  thanksgiving.  It  was 
the  first  time  since  my  childhood  that  I  had  ex 
perienced  any  real  happiness.  I  heard  of  the  old 
doctor's  threats,  but  they  no  longer  had  the  same 
power  to  trouble  me.  The  darkest  cloud  that  hung 
over  my  life  had  rolled  away.  Whatever  slavery jmght 
do  to  me,  it  could  not  shackle  my  children.  If  I  fell  a 
sacrifice,  my  little  ones  were  saved.  It  was  well  for 
me  that  my  simple  heart  believed  all  that  had  been 
promised  for  their  welfare.  It  is  always  better  to  trust 
than  to  doubt. 


New  Perils.  167 


XX. 

NEW  PERILS. 

THE  doctor,  more  exasperated  than  ever,  again  tried 
to  revenge  himself  on  my  relatives.  He  arrested  uncle 
Phillip  on  the  charge  of  having  aided  my  flight.  He 
was  carried  before  a  court,  and  swore  truly  that  he 
knew  nothing  of  my  intention  to  escape,  and  that  lie 
had  not  seen  me  since  I  left  my  master's  plantation. 
The  doctor  then  demanded  that  he  should  give  bail  for 
five  hundred  dollars  that  he  would  have  nothing  to  do 
with  me.  Several  gentlemen  offered  to  be  security  for 
him  ;  but  Mr.  Sands  told  him  he  had  better  go  back  to 
jail,  and  he  would  see  that  he  came  out  without  giving 
bail. 

The  news  of  his  arrest  was  carried  to  my  grand 
mother,  who  conveyed  it  to  Betty.  In  the  kindness 
of  her  heart,  she  again  stowed  me  away  under  the 
floor ;  and  as  she  walked  back  and  forth,  in  the  per 
formance  of  her  culinary  duties,  she  talked  apparently 
to  herself,  but  with  the  intention  that  I  should  hear 
what  was  going  on.  I  hoped  that  my  uncle's  imprison 
ment  would  last  but  few  days  ;  still  I  was  anxious.  I 
thought  it  likely  Dr.  Flint  would  do  his  utmost  to 
taunt  and  insult  him,  and  I  was  afraid  my  uncle  might 
lose  control  of  himself,  and  retort  in  some  way  that 
would  be  construed  into  a  punishable  offence ;  and  I 
was  well  aware  that  in  court  his  word  would  not  be 
taken  against  any  white  man's.  The  search  for  me 


l68      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

•was  renewed.  Something  had  excited  suspicions  that 
I  was  in  the  vicinity.  They  searched  the  house  I  was 
in.  I  heard  their  steps  and  their  voices.  At  night, 
when  all  were  asleep,  Betty  canie  to  release  me  from 
my  place  of  confinement.  The  fright  I  had  under 
gone,  the  constrained  posture,  and  the  dampness  of 
the  ground,  made  me  ill  for  several  days.  My  uncle 
was  soon  after  taken  out  of  prison  ;  but  the  movements 
of  all  my  relatives,  and  of  all  our  friends,  were  very 
closely  watched. 

We  all  saw  that  I  could  not  remain  where  I  was 
much  longer.  I  had  already  staid  longer  than  was 
intended,  and  I  knew  my  presence  must  be  a  source 
of  perpetual  anxiety  to  my  kind  benefactress.  During 
this  time,  my  friends  had  laid  many  plans  for  my 
escape,  but  the  extreme  vigilance  of  my  persecutors 
made  it  impossible  to  carry  them  into  effect. 

One  morning  I  was  much  startled  by  hearing  some 
body  trying  to  get  into  my  room.  Several  keys  were 
tried,  but  none  fitted.  I  instantly  conjectured  it  was 
one  of  the  housemaids ;  and  I  concluded  she  must  either 
have  heard  some  noise  in  the  room,  or  have  noticed 
the  entrance  of  Betty.  When  my  friend  came,  at  her 
usual  time,  I  told  her  what  had  happened.  "  I  knows 
who  it  was,"  said  she.  "  Tend  upon  it,  'twas  dat 
Jenny.  Dat  nigger  allers  got  de  debble  in  her."  I. 
suggested  that  she  might  have  seen  or  heard  something 
that  excited  her  curiosity. 

"Tut!  tut!  chile!"  exclaimed  Betty,  "she  ain't 
seen  notin',  nor  hearn  notin'.  She  only  'spects  some- 
ting.  Dat's  all.  She  wants  to  fine  out  who  hab  cut 
and  make  my  gownd.  But  she  won't  nebber  know. 
Dat's  sartin.  I'll  git  missis  to  fix  her." 


New  Perils.  169 

I  reflected  a  moment,  and  said,  "  Betty,  I  must  leave 
here  tonight." 

"  Do  as  you  tink  best,  poor  chile,"  she  replied. 
"  I'se  mighty  'fraid  dat  'ere  nigger  vill  pop  on  you 
some  time." 

She  reported  the  incident  to  her  mistress,  and  re> 
ceived  orders  to  keep  Jenny  busy  in  the  kitchen  till 
she  could  see  my  uncle  Phillip.  He  told  her  he  would 
send  a  friend  for  me  that  very  evening.  She  told  him 
she  hoped  I  was  going  to  the  north,  for  it  was  very 
dangerous  for  me  to  remain  any, where  in  the  vicinity. 
Alas,  it  was  not  an  easy  thing,  for  one  in  my  situation, 
to  go  to  the  north.  In  order  to  leave  the  coast  quite 
clear  for  me,  she  went  into  the  country  to  spend  the 
day  with  her  brother,  and  took  Jenny  with  her.  She 
was  afraid  to  come  and  bid  me  good  by,  but  she  left 
a  kind  message  with  Betty.  I  heard  her  carriage  roll 
from  the  door,  and  I  never  again  saw  her  who  had  so 
generously  befriended  the  poor,  trembling  fugitive ! 
Though  she  was  a  slaveholder,  to  this  day  my  heart 
blesses  her ! 

I  had  not  the  slightest  idea  where  I  was  going. 
Betty  brought  me  a  suit  of  sailor's  clothes, — jacket, 
trowsers,  and  tarpaulin  hat.  She  gave  me  a  small 
bundle,  saying  I  might  need  it  where  I  was  going.  In 
cheery  tones,  she  exclaimed,  "  I'se  so  glad  you  is  gwino 
to  free  parts !  Don't  forget  ole  Betty.  P'raps  I'll  come 
'long  by  and  by." 

I  tried  to  tell  her  how  grateful  I  felt  for  all  her  kind 
ness,  but  she  interrupted  me.  "  I  don't  want  no  tanks, 
honey.  I'se  glad  I  coiild  help  you,  and  I  hope  de 
good  Lord  vill  open  de  path  for  you.  I'se  gwine  wid 

15 


170      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

you  to  de  lower  gate.  Put  your  hands  in  your  pock 
ets,  and  walk  ricketty,  like  de  sailors." 

I  performed  to  her  satisfaction.  At  the  gate  I  found 
Peter,  a  young  colored  man,  waiting  for  me.  I  had 
known  him  for  years.  He  had  been  an  apprentice  to 
my  father,  and  had  always  borne  a  good  character.  I 
•was  not  afraid  to  trust  to  him.  Betty  bade  me  a  hur 
ried  good  by,  and  we  walked  off.  "  Take  courage, 
Linda,"  said  my  friend  Peter.  "  I've  got  a  dagger, 
and  no  man  shall  take  you  from  me,  unless  he  passes 
over  my  dead  body." 

It  was  a  long  time  since  I  had  taken  a  walk  out  of 
doors,  and  the  fresh  air  revived  me.  It  was  also  pleas 
ant  to  hear  a  human  voice  speaking  to  me  above  a  whis 
per.  I  passed  several  people  whom  I  knew,  but  they 
did  not  recognize  me  in  my  disguise.  I  prayed  inter 
nally  that,  for  Peter's  sake,  as  well  as  my  own,  nothing 
might  occur  to  bring  out  his  dagger.  We  walked  on 
till  we  came  to  the  wharf.  My  aunt  Nancy's  husband 
was  a  seafaring  man,  and  it  had  been  deemed  neces 
sary  to  let  him  into  our  secret.  He  took  me  into  his 
boat,  rowed  out  to  a  vessel  not  far  distant,  and  hoisted 
me  on  board.  We  three  were  the  only  occupants  of 
the  vessel.  I  now  ventured  to  ask  what  they  proposed 
to  do  with  me.  They  said  I  was  to  remain  on  board 
till  near  dawn,  and  then  they  would  hide  me  in  Snaky 
Swamp,  till  my  uncle  Phillip  had  prepared  a  place  of 
concealment  for  me.  If  the  vessel  had  been  bound 
north,  it  would  have  been  of  no  avail  to  me,  for  it 
would  certainly  have  been  searched.  About  four 
o'clock,  we  were  again  seated  in  the  boat,  and  rowed 
three  miles  to  the  swamp.  My  fear  of  snakes  had  been 


New  Perils.  171 

increased  by  the  venomous  bite  I  had  received,  and  I 
dreaded  to  enter  this  hiding-place.  But  I  was  in  no 
situation  to  choose,  and  I  gratefully  accepted  the  best 
that  my  poor,  persecuted  friends  could  do  for  me. 

Peter  landed  first,  and  with  a  large  knife  cut  a  path 
through  bamboos  and  briers  of  all  descriptions.  He 
came  back,  took  me  in  his  arms,  and  carried  me  to  a 
seat  made  among  the  bamboos.  Before  we  reached  it, 
we  were  covered  with  hundreds  of  mosquitos.  In  an 
hour's  time  they  had  so  poisoned  my  flesh  that  I  was 
a  pitiful  sight  to  behold.  As  the  light  increased,  I  saw 
snake  after  snake  crawling  round  us.  I  had  been 
accustomed  to  the  sight  of  snakes  all  my  life,  but  these 
were  larger  than  any  I  had  ever  seen.  To  this  day  I 
shudder  when  I  remember  that  morning.  As  evening 
approached,  the  number  of  snakes  increased  so  much 
that  we  were  continually  obliged  to  thrash  them  with 
sticks  to  keep  them  from  crawling  over  us.  The  bam 
boos  were  so  high  and  so  thick  that  it  was  impossible 
to  see  beyond  a  very  short  distance.  Just  before  it 
became  dark  we  procured  a  seat  nearer  to  the  entrance 
of  the  swamp,  being  fearful  of  losing  our  way  back  to 
the  boat.  It  was  not  long  before  we  heard  the  paddle 
of  oars,  and  the  low  whistle,  which  had  been  agreed 
upon  as  a  signal.  We  made  haste  to  enter  the  boat, 
and  were  rowed  back  to  the  vessel.  I  passed  a  wretched 
night ;  for  the  heat  of  the  swamp,  the  mosquitos,  and 
the  constant  terror  of  snakes,  had  brought  on  a  burn 
ing  fever.  I  had  just  dropped  asleep,  when  they  came 
and  told  me  it  was  time  to  go  back  co  that  horrid 
swamp.  I  could  scarcely  summon  courage  to  rise. 
But  even  those  large,  venomous  snakes  were  less  dread- 


172      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

ful  to  my  imagination  than  the  white  men  in  that 
community  called  civilized.  This  time  Peter  took  a 
quantity  of  tobacco  to  burn,  to  keep  off  the  mosqui- 
tos.  It  produced  the  desired  effect  on  them,  but  gave 
me  nausea  and  severe  headache.  At  dark  we  returned 
to  the  vessel.  I  had  been  so  sick  during  the  day,  that 
Peter  declared  I  should  go  home  that  night,  if  the 
devil  himself  was  on  patrol.  They  told  me  a  place  of 
concealment  had  been  provided  for  me  at  my  grand 
mother's.  I  could  not  imagine  how  it  was  possible  to 
hide  me  in  her  house,  every  nook  and  corner  of  which 
was  known  to  the  Flint  family.  They  told  me  to  wait 
and  see.  We  were  rowed  ashore,  and  went  boldly 
through  the  streets,  to  my  grandmother's.  I  wore  my 
sailor's  clothes,  and  had  blackened  my  face  with  char 
coal.  I  passed  several  people  whom  I  knew.  The 
father  of  my  children  came  so  near  that  I  brushed 
against  his  arm ;  but  he  had  no  idea  who  it  was. 

"  You  must  make  the  most  of  this  walk,"  said  my 
friend  Peter,  "  for  you  may  not  have  another  very 
soon." 

I  thought  his  voice  sounded  sad.  It  was  kind  of 
him  to  conceal  from  me  what  a  dismal  hole  was  to  be 
my  home  for  a  long,  long  time. 


The  Loophole  of  Retreat.  173 


XXI. 

THE  LOOPHOLE  OP  RETREAT. 

A  SMALL  shed  had  been  added  to  my  grandmother's 
house  years  ago.  Some  boards  were  laid  across  the 
joists  at  the  top,  and  between  these  boards  and  the  roof 
was  a  very  small  garret,  never  occupied  by  any  thing 
but  rats  and  mice.  It  was  a  pent  roof,  covered  with 
nothing  but  shingles,  according  to  the  southern  cus 
tom  for  such  buildings.  The  garret  was  only  nine  feet 
long  and  seven  wide.  The  highest  part  was  three 
feet  high,  and  sloped  down  abruptly  to  the  loose  board 
floor.  There  was  no  admission  for  either  light  or  air. 
My  uncle  Philip,  who  was  a  carpenter,  had  very  skil 
fully  made  a  concealed  trap-door,  which  communicated 
with  the  storeroom.  He  had  been  doing  this  while  I 
was  waiting  in  the  swamp.  The  storeroom  opened 
upon  a  piazza.  To  this  hole  I  was  conveyed  as  soon  as 
I  entered  the  house.  The  air  was  stifling  ;  the  dark 
ness  total.  A  bed  had  been  spread  on  the  floor.  .1 
could  sleep  quite  comfortably  on  one  side  ;  but  the  slope 
was  so  sudden  that  I  could  not  turn  on  the  other  with 
out  hitting  the  roof.  The  rats  and  mice  ran  over  my 
bed  ;  but  I  was  weary,  and  I  slept  such  sleep  as  the 
wretched  may,  when  a  tempest  has  passed  over  them. 
Morning  came.  I  knew  it  only  by  the  noises  I  heard  ; 
for  in  my  small  den  day  and  night  were  all  the  same. 
I  suffered  for  air  even  more  than  for  light.  But  I  was 
not  comfortless.  I  heard  the  voices  of  my  children. 

15* 


174      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

There  was  joy  and  there  was  sadness  in  the  sound.  It 
made  my  tears  flow.  How  I  longed  to  speak  to  them  ! 
I  was  eager  to  look  on  their  faces  ;  but  there  was  no 
hole,  no  crack,  through  which  I  could  peep.  This  con 
tinued  darkness  was  oppressive.  It  seemed  horrible  to 
sit  or  lie  in  a  cramped  position  day  after  day,  without  one 
gleam  of  light.  Yet  I  would  have  chosen  this,  rather 
than  my  lot  as  a  slave,  though  white  people  considered 
it  an  easy  one ;  and  it  was  so  compared  with  the  fate 
of  others.  I  was  never  cruelly  over-worked  ;  I  was 
never  lacerated  with  the  whip  from  head  to  foot ;  I  was 
never  so  beaten  and  bruised  that  I  could  not  turn  from 
one  side  to  the  other  ;  I  never  had  my  heel-strings  cut 
to  prevent  my  running  away  ;  I  was  never  chained  to 
a  log  and  forced  to  drag  it  about,  while  I  toiled  in  the 
fields  from  morning  till  night ;  I  was  never  branded 
with  hot  iron,  or  torn  by  bloodhounds.  On  the  con 
trary,  I  had  always  been  kindly  treated,  and  tenderly 
cared  for,  until  I  came  into  the  hands  of  Dr.  Flint. 
I  had  never  wished  for  freedom  till  then.  But  though 
my  life  in  slavery  was  comparatively  devoid  of  hard 
ships,  God  pity  the  woman  who  is  compelled  to  lead 
such  a  life  ! 

My  food  was  passed  up  to  me  through  the  trap-door 
my  uncle  had  contrived  ;  and  my  grandmother,  my 
uncle  Phillip,  and  aunt  Nancy  would  seize  such  oppor 
tunities  as  they  could,  to  mount  up  there  and  chat  with 
me  at  the  opening.  But  of  course  this  was  not  safe  in 
the  daytime.  It  must  all  be  clone  in  darkness.  It  was 
impossible  for  me  to  move  in  an  erect  position,  but  I 
crawled  about  my  den  for  exercise.  One  day  I  hit  my 
head  against  something,  and  found  it  was  a  gimlet. 


The  Loophole  of  Retreat.  175 

My  uncle  had  left  it  sticking  there  when  he  made  the 
trap-door.  I  was  as  rejoiced  as  Robinson  Crusoe  could 
have  been  at  finding  such  a  treasure.  It  put  a  lucky 
thought  into  my  head.  I  said  to  myself,  "  Now  I  will 
have  some  light.  Now  I  will  see  my  children."  I  did 
not  dare  to  begin  my  work  during  the  daytime,  for  feai 
of  attracting  attention.  But  I  groped  round  ;  and  hav 
ing  found  the  side  next  the  street,  where  I  could  fre 
quently  see  my  children,  I  stuck  the  gimlet  in  and 
waited  for  evening.  I  bored  three  rows  of  holes,  one 
above  another ;  then  I  bored  out  the  interstices  between. 
I  thus  succeeded  in  making  one  hole  about  an  inch  long 
and  an  inch  broad.  I  sat  by  it  till  late  into  the  night, 
to  enjoy  the  little  whiff  of  air  that  floated  in.  In  the 
morning  I  watched  for  my  children.  The  first  person 
I  saw  in  the  street  was  Dr.  Flint.  I  had  a  shuddering, 
superstitious  feeling  that  it  was  a  bad  omen.  Several 
familiar  faces  passed  by.  At  last  I  heard  the  merry 
laugh  of  children,  and  presently  two  sweet  little  faces 
were  looking  up  at  me,  as  though  they  knew  I  was 
there,  and  were  conscious  of  the  joy  they  imparted. 
How  I  longed  to  tell  them  I  was  there  ! 

My  condition  was  now  a  little  improved.  But  for  weeks 
I  was  tormented  by  hundreds  of  little  red  insects,  fine  as  a 
needle's  point,  that  pierced  through  my  skin,  and  pro 
duced  an  intolerable  burning.  The  good  grandmother 
gave  me  herb  teas  and  cooling  medicines,  and  finally  I 
got  rid  of  them.  The  heat  of  my  den  was  intense, 
for  nothing  but  thin  shingles  protected  me  from  the 
scorching  summer's  sun.  But  I  had  my  consolations. 
Through  my  peeping-hole  I  could  watch  the  children,  and 
when  they  were  near  enough,  I  could  hear  their 


176     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

Aunt  Nancy  brought  me  all  the  news  she  could  hear  at 
Dr.  Flint's.  From  her  I  learned  that  the  doctor  had 
written  to  New  York  to  a  colored  woman,  who  had 
been  born  and  raised  in  our  neighborhood,  and  had 
breathed  his  contaminating  atmosphere.  He  offered 
her  a  reward  if  she  could  find  out  any  thing  about  me. 
I  know  not  what  was  the  nature  of  her  reply ;  but  he 
soon  after  started  for  New  York  in  haste,  saying  to  his 
family  that  he  had  business  of  importance  to  transact. 
I  peeped  at  him  as  he  passed  on  his  way  to  the  steam 
boat.  It  was  a  satisfaction  to  have  miles  of  land  and 
water  between  us,  even  for  a  little  while ;  and  it  was  a 
still  greater  satisfaction  to  know  that  he  believed  me  to 
be  in  the  Free  States.  My  little  den  seemed  less 
dreary  than  it  had  done.  He  returned,  as  he  did  from 
his  former  journey  to  New  York,  without  obtaining  any 
satisfactory  information.  When  he  passed  our  house 
next  morning,  Benny  was  standing  at  the  gate.  He 
had  heard  them  say  that  he  had  gone  to  find  me,  and 
he  called  out,  "  Dr.  Flint,  did  you  bring  my  mother 
home  ?  I  want  to  see  her."  The  doctor  stamped  his 
foot  at  him  in  a  rage,  and  exclaimed,  "  Get  out  of  the 
way,  you  little  damned  rascal !  If  yon  don't,  I-'ll  cut 
off  your  head." 

Benny  ran  terrified  into  the  house,  saying,  "  You 
can't  put  me  in  jail  again.  I  don't  belong  to  you  now." 
It  was  well  that  the  wind  carried  the  words  away  from 
the  doctor's  ear.  I  told  my  grandmother  of  it,  when 
we  had  our  next  conference  at  the  trap-door ;  and  begged 
of  her  not  to  allow  the  children  to  be  impertinent  to 
the  irascible  old  man. 

came,  with  a  pleasant  abatement  of  heat. 


The  Loophole  of  Retreat  177 

My  eyes  had  become  accustomed  to  the  dim  light,  and 
hy  holding  my  book  or  work  in  a  certain  position  near 
the  aperture  I  contrived  to  read  and  sew.  That  was  a 
great  relief  to  the  tedious  monotony  of  my  life.  But 
when  winter  came,  the  cold  penetrated  through  the  thin 
shingle  roof,  and  I  was  dreadfully  chilled.  The  winters 
there  are  not  so  long,  or  so  severe,  as  in  northern  lati 
tudes  ;  but  the  houses  are  not  built  to  shelter  from  cold, 
and  my  little  den  was  peculiarly  comfortless.  The  kind 
grandmother  brought  me  bed-clothes  and  warm  drinks. 
Often  I  was  obliged  to  lie  in  bed  all  day  to  keep  com 
fortable  ;  but  with  all  my  precautions,  my  shoulders 
and  feet  were  frostbitten.  0,  those  long,  gloomy  days, 
with  no  object  for  my  eye  to  rest  upon,  and  no  thoughts 
to  occupy  my  mind,  except  the  dreary  past  and  the  un 
certain  future  !  I  was  thankful  when  there  came  a  day 
sufficiently  mild  for  me  to  wrap  myself  up  and  sit  at 
the  loophole  to  watch  the  passers  by.  Southerners 
have  the  habit  of  .stopping  and  talking  in  the  streets, 
and  I  heard  many  conversations  not  intended  to  meet 
my  ears.  I  heard  slave-hunters  planning  how  to  catch 
some  poor  fugitive.  Several  times  I  heard  allusions  to 
Dr.  Flint,  myself,  and  the  history  of  my  children,  who, 
perhaps,  were  playing  near  the  gate.  One  would  say, 
"  I  wouldn't  move  my  little  finger  to  catch  her,  as  old 
Flint's  property."  Another  would  say,  "  I'll  catch  any 
nigger  for  the  reward.  A  man  ought  to  have  what 
belongs  to  him,  if  he  is  a  damned  brute."  The  opin 
ion  was  often  expressed  that  I  was  in  the  Free  States. 
Very  rarely  did  any  one  suggest  that  I  might  be  in  tho  < 
vicinity.  Had  the  least  suspicion  rested  on  my 
mother's  house,  it  would  have  been  burned  to  the  grounlP 


178      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

But  it  was  the  last  place  they  thotJght  of.  Yet  there 
was  no  place,  where  slavery  existed,  that  could  have 
afforded  me  so  good  a  place  of  concealment. 

Dr.  Flint  and  his  family  repeatedly  tried  to  coax  and 
bribe  my  children  to  tell  something  they  had  heard  said 
about  me.  One  day  the  doctor  took  them  into  a  shop, 
and  offered  them  some  bright  little  silver  pieces  and 
gay  handkerchiefs  if  they  would  tell  where  their 
mother  was.  Ellen  shrank  away  from  him,  and  would 
not  speak  ;  but  Benny  spoke  up,  and  said,  "  Dr.  Flint, 
I  don't  know  where  my  mother  is.  I  guess  she's  in 
New  York  ;  and  when  you  go  there  again,  I  wish  you'd 
ask  her  to  come  home,  for  I  want  to  see  her ;  but  if 
you  put  her  in  jail,  or  tell  her  you'll  cut  her  head  off, 
I'll  tell  her  to  go  right  back." 


Chriftmas  Feftivities.  179 


XXII. 

CHRISTMAS  FESTIVITIES. 

CHRISTMAS  was  approaching.  Grandmother  brought 
me  materials,  and  I  busied  myself  making  some  new 
garments  and  little  playthings  for  my  children.  Were 
it  not  that  hiring  day  is  near  at  hand,  and  many  fami 
lies  are  fearfully  looking  forward  to  the  probability  of 
separation  in  a  few  days,  Christmas  might  be  a  happy 
season  for  the  poor  slaves.  Even  slave  mothers  try  to 
gladden  the  hearts  of  their  little  ones  on  that  occasion. 
Benny  and  Ellen  had  their  Christmas  stockings  filled. 
Their  imprisoned  mother  could  not  have  the  privilege 
of  witnessing  their  surprise  and  joy.  But  I  had  the 
pleasure  of  peeping  at  them  as  they  went  into  the 
street  with  their  new  suits  on.  I  heard  Benny  ask  a 
little  playmate  whether  Santa  Glaus  brought  him  any 
thing.  "  Yes,"  replied  the  boy ;  "  but  Santa  Glaus 
ain't  a  real  man.  It's  the  children's  mothers  that:|jut 
things  into  the  stockings."  "  No,  that  can't  be,"  re 
plied  Benny,  "  for  Santa  Glaus  brought  Ellen  and  me 
these  new  clothes,  and  my  mother  has  befcii  gone  this 
long  time." 

How  I  longed  to  tell  him  that  his  mother  made 
those  garments,  and  that  many  a  tear  fell  on  them 
while  she  worked ! 

Every  child  rises  early  on  Christmas  morning  to  see 
the  Johnkannaus.  Without  them,  Christmas  wo 


180      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

be  shorn  of  its  greatest  attraction.  They  consist  of 
companies  of  slaves  from  the  plantations,  generally  of 
the  lower  class.  Two  athletic  men,  in  calico  wrappers, 
have  a  net  thrown  over  them,  covered  with  all  man 
ner  of  bright-colored  stripes.  Cows'  tails  are  fastened 
to  their  backs,  and  their  heads  are  decorated  with 
horns.  A  box,  covered  with  sheepskin,  is  called  the 
gumbo  box.  A  dozen  beat  on  this,  while  others  strike 
triangles  and  jawbones,  to  which  bands  of  dancers 
keep  time.  For  a  month  previous  they  are  composing 
songs,  which  are  sung  on  this  occasion.  These  com 
panies,  of  a  hundred  each,  turn  out  early  in  the  morn 
ing,  and  are  allowed  to  go  round  till  twelve  o'clock, 
begging  for  contributions.  Not  a  door  is  left  unvisite^jg 
where  there  is  the  least  chance  of  obtaining  a  penny 
or  a  glass  of  rum.  They  do  not  drink  while  they  are 
out,  but  carry  the  rum  home  in  jugs,  to  have  a  carousal. 
These  Christmas  donations  frequently  amount  to  twenty 
or  thirty  dollars.  It  is  seldom  that  any  white  man  or 
child  refuses  to  give  them  a  trifle.  If  he  does,  they 

regale  las  ears  with  the  following  song :  — 
** 

"  Poor  massa,  so  dey  say  ; 
Down  in  de  heel,  so  dey  say; 
Got  no  money,  so  dey  say ; 
Not  one  shillin,  so  dey  say  ; 

God  A'mighty  bress  you,  so  dey  say." 

| 

Christmas  is  a  day  of  feasting,  both  with  white  and 
colored  people.  Slaves,  who  are  lucky  enough  to  have 
a  few  shillings,  are  sure  to  spend  them  for  good  eating ; 
and  many  a  turkey  and  pig  is  captured,  without  say- 
g,  "  By  your  leave,  sir."  Those  who  cannot  obtain 


in 


Chriftmas  Feftivities.  181 

these,  cook  a  'possum,  or  a  raccoon,  from  which  savory- 
dishes  can  be  made.  My  grandmother  raised  poultry 
and  pigs  for  sale ;  and  it  was  her  established  custom 
to  have  both  a  turkey  and  a  pig  roasted  for  Christmas 
dinner. 

On  this  occasion,  I  was  warned  to  keep  extremely 
quiet,  because  two  guests  had  been  invited.  One  was 
the  town  constable,  and  the  other  was  a  free  colored 
man,  who  tried  to  pass  himself  off  for  white,  and  who 
was  always  ready  to  do  any  mean  work  for  the  sake 
of  currying  favor  with  white  people.  My  grandmother 
had  a  motive  for  inviting  them.  She  managed  to  take 
them  all  over  the  house.  All  the  rooms  on  the  lower 
.  floor  were  thrown  open  for  them  to  pass  in  and  out ; 
and  after  dinner,  they  were  invited  up  stairs  to  look  at 
a  line  mocking  bird  my  uncle  had  just  brought  home. 
There,  too,  the  rooms,  were  all  thrown  open,  that  they 
might  look  in.  When  I  heard  them  talking  on  the 
piazza,  my  heart  almost  stood  still.  I  knew  this  colored 
man  had  spent  many  nights  hunting  for  me.  Every 
body  knew  he  had  the  blood  of  a  slave  father  in  his 
veins ;  but  for  the  sake  of  passing  himself  off  for  ^sfftite, 
he  was  ready  to  kiss  the  slaveholders'  feet.  How  I 
despised  him !  As  for  the  constable,  ho  wore  no  false 
colors.  The  duties  of  his  office  were  despicable,  but  he 
was  superior  to  his  companion,  inasmuch  as  he  did  not 
pretend  to  be  what  he  was  not.  Any  white  man,  who 
could  raise  money  enough  to  buy  a  slave,  would  have 
considered  himself  degraded  by  being  a  constable ;  butj 
the  office  enabled  its  possessor  to  exercise  authority.  , 
If  he  found  any  slave  out  after  nine  o'clock,  he  could 

16 


182     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

whip  him  as  much  as  he  liked ;  and  that  was  a  privi 
lege  to  be  coveted.  When  the  guests  were  ready  to 
depart,  my  grandmother  gave  each  of  them  some  of 
her  nice  pudding,  as  a  present  for  their  wives.  Through 
my  peep-hole  I  saw  them  go  out  of  the  gate,  and  I 
was  glad  when  it  closed  after  them.  So  passed  the 
first  Christmas  in  my  den. 


Still  in  Prifon.  183 


XXIII. 

STILL   IN   PRISON. 

WHEN  spring  returned,  and  I  took  in  the  little  patch 
of  green  the  aperture  commanded,  I  asked  myself  how 
many  more  summers  and  winters  I  must  be  condemned 
to  spend  thus.  I  longed  to  draw  in  a  plentiful  draught 
of  fresh  air,  to  stretch  my  cramped  limbs,  to  have  room 
to  stand  erect,  to  feel  the  earth  under  my  feet  again. 
My  relatives  were  constantly  on  the  lookout  for  a 
chance  of  escape  ;  but  none  offered  that  seemed  prac 
ticable,  and  even  tolerably  safe.  The  hot  summer  came 
again,  and  made  the  turpentine  drop  from  the  thin 
roof  over  my  head. 

During  the  long  nights  I  was  restless  for  want  of 
air,  and  I  had  no  room  to  toss  and  turn.  There  was 
but  one  compensation  ;  the  atmosphere  was  so  stifled 
that  even  mosquitos  would  not  condescend  to  buzz  in 
it.  With  all  my  detestation  of  Dr.  Flint,  I  could  hard 
ly  wish  him  a  worse  punishment,  either  in  this  world  or 
that  which  is  to  come,  than  to  suffer  what  I  suffered  in 
one  single  summer.  Yet  the  laws  allowed  him  to  be 
out  in  the  free  air,  while  I,  guiltless  of  crime,  was  pent 
up  here,  as  the  only  means  of  avoiding  the  cruelties 
the  laws  allowed  him  to  inflict  upon  me  !  I  don't 
know  what  kept  life  within  me.  Again  and  again,  I 
thought  I  should  die  before  long ;  but  I  saw  the  leaves 
of  another  autumn  whirl  through  the  air,  and  felt  the 
touch  of  another  winter.  In  summer  the  most  terri- 


184      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

ble  thunder  storms  were  acceptable,  for  the  rain  came 
through  the  roof,  and  I  rolled  up  my  bed  that  it  might 
cool  the  hot  boards  under  it.  Later  in  the  season, 
storms  sometimes  wet  my  clothes  through  and  through, 
and  that  was  not  comfortable  when  the  air  grew  chilly. 
Moderate  storms  I  could  keep  out  by  filling  the  chinks 
with  oakum. 

But  uncomfortable  as  my  situation  was,  I  had 
glimpses  of  things  out  of  doors,  which  made  me  thank 
ful  for  my  wretched  hiding-place.  One  day  I  saw  a 
slave  pass  our  gate,  muttering,  "  It's  his  own,  and  he 
can  kill  it  if  he  will."  My  grandmother  told  me  that 
woman's  history.  Her  mistress  had  that  day  seen  her 
baby  for  the  first  time,  and  in  the  lineaments  of  its  fair 
face  she  saw  a  likeness  to  her  husband.  She  turned 
the  bondwoman  and  her  child  out  of  doors,  and  for 
bade  her  ever  to  return.  The  slave  went  to  her  mas 
ter,  and  told  him  what  had  happened.  He  promised 
to  talk  with  her  mistress,  and  make  it  all  right.  The 
next  day  she  and  her  baby  were  sold  to  a  Georgia 
trader. 

Another  time  I  saw  a  woman  rush  wildly  by,  pur 
sued  by  two  men.  She  was  a  slave,  the  wet  nurse  of 
her  mistress's  children.  For  some  trifling  oifence  her 
mistress  ordered  her  to  be  stripped  and  whipped.  To 
escape  the  degradation  and  the  torture,  she  rushed  to 
the  river,  jumped  m,  and  ended  her  wrongs  in  death. 

Senator  Brown,  of  Mississippi,  could  not  be  ignorant 
of  many  such  facts  as  these,  for  they  are  of  frequent 
occurrence  in  every  Southern  State.  Yet  he  stood  up 
in  the  Congress  of  the  United  States,  and  declared  that 
slavery  was  "  a  great  moral,  social,  and  political  bless- 


Still  in  Prifon.  185 

ing ;  a  blessing  to  the  master,  and  a  blessing  to  the 
slave ! " 

I  suffered  much  more  during  the  second  winter  than 
I  did  during  the  first.  My  limbs  were  bemimbed  by 
inaction,  and  the  cold  filled  them  with  cramp.  I  had 
a  very  painful  sensation  of  coldness  in  my  head  ;  even 
my  face  and  tongue  stiffened,  and  I  lost  the  power  of 
speech.  Of  course  it  was  impossible,  under  the  cir 
cumstances,  to  summon  any  physician.  My  brother 
William  came  and  did  all  he  could  for  me.  Uncle 
Phillip  also  watched  tenderly  over  me  ;  and  poor  grand 
mother  crept  up  and  down  to  inquire  whether  there 
were  any  signs  of  returning  life.  I  was  restored  to 
consciousness  by  the  dashing  of  cold  water  in  my  face, 
and  found  myself  leaning  against  my  brother's  arm, 
while  he  bent  over  me  with  streaming  eyes.  He  after 
wards  told  me  he  thought  I  was  dying,  for  I  had  been 
in  an  unconscious  state  sixteen  hours.  I  next  became 
delirious,  and  was  in  great  danger  of  betraying  myself 
and  my  friends.  To  prevent  this,  they  stupefied  me 
with  drugs.  I  remained  in  bed  six  weeks,  weary  in 
body  and  sick  at  heart.  How  to  get  medical  advice 
was  the  question.  William  finally  went  to  a  Thompso- 
nian  doctor,  and  described  himself  as  having  all  my 
pains  and  aches.  He  returned  with  herbs,  roots,  and 
ointment.  He  was  especially  charged  to  rub  on  the 
ointment  by  a  fire  ;  but  how  could  a  fire  be  made  in  my 
little  den  ?  Charcoal  in  a  furnace  was  tried,  but  there 
was  no  outlet  for  the  gas,  and  it  nearly  cost  me  my  life. 
Afterwards  coals,  already  kindled,  were  brought  up  in 
an  iron  pan,  and  placed  on  bricks.  I  was  so  weak,  and 
it  was  so  long  since  I  had  enjoyed  the  warmth  of  a  fire, 

16-* 


l86      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

that  those  few  coals  actually  made  me  weep.  I  think 
the  medicines  did  me  some  good  ;  but  my  recovery  was 
very  slow.  Dark  thoughts  passed  through  my  mind 
as  I  lay  there  day  after  day.  I  tried  to  be  thankful  for 
my  little  cell,  dismal  as  it  was,  and  even  to  love  it,  as 
part  of  the  price  I  had  paid  for  the  redemption  of  my 
children.  Sometimes  I  thought  God  was  a  compassion 
ate  Father,  who  would  forgive  my  sins  for  the  sake  of 
my  sufferings.  At  other  times,  it  seemed  to  me  there 
was  no  justice  or  mercy  in  the  divine  government.  I 
asked  why  the  curse  of  slavery  was  permitted  to  exist, 
and  why  I  had  been  so  persecuted  and  wronged  from 
youth  upward.  These  things  took  the  shape  of  mys 
tery,  which  is  to  this  day  not  so  clear  to  my  soul  as  I 
trust  it  will  be  hereafter. 

In  the  midst  of  my  illness,  grandmother  broke  down 
under  the  weight  of  anxiety  and  toil.  The  idea  of 
losing  her,  who  had  always  been  my  best  friend  and  a 
mother  to  my  children,  was  the  sorest  trial  I  had  yet 
had.  0,  how  earnestly  I  prayed  that  she  might  re 
cover  !  How  hard  it  seemed,  that  I  could  not  tend 
upon  her,  who  had  so  long  and  so  tenderly  watched 
over  me  ! 

One  day  the  screams  of  a  child  nerved  me  with 
strength  to  crawl  to  my  peeping-hole,  and  I  saw  my 
son  covered  with  blood.  A  fierce  dog,  usually  kept 
chained,  had  seized  and  bitten  him.  A  doctor  was 
sent  for,  and  I  heard  the  groans  and  screams  of  my 
child  while  the  wounds  were  being  sewed  up.  0,  what 
torture  to  a  mother's  heart,  to  listen  to  this  and  be 
unable  to  go  to  him  ! 

But  childhood  is  like  a  day  in  spring,  alternately 


Still  in  Prifon.  187 

shower  and  sunshine.  Before  night  Benny  was  bright 
and  lively,  threatening  the  destruction  of  the  dog  ;  and 
great  was  his  delight  when  the  doctor  told  him  the 
next  day  that  the  dog  had  bitten  another  boy  and  been 
shot.  Benny  recovered  from  his  wounds ;  but  it  was 
long  before  he  could  walk. 

When  my  grandmother's  illness  became  known, 
many  ladies,  who  were  her  customers,  called  to  bring 
her  some  little  comforts,  and  to  inquire  whether  she 
had  every  thing  she  wanted.  Aunt  Nancy  one  night 
asked  permission  to  watch  with  her  sick  mother,  and 
Mrs.  Flint  replied,  "  I  don't  see  any  need  of  your  go 
ing.  I  can't  spare  you."  But  when  she  found  other 
ladies  in  the  neighborhood  were  so  attentive,  not  wish 
ing  to  be  outdone  in  Christian  charity,  she  also  sallied 
forth,  in  magnificent  condescension,  and  stood  by  the 
bedside  of  her  who  had  loved  her  in  her  infancy,  and 
who  had  been  repaid  by  such  grievous  wrongs.  She 
seemed  surprised  to  find  her  so  ill,  and  scolded  uncle 
Phillip  for  not  sending  for  Dr.  Flint.  She  herself  sent 
for  him  immediately,  and  he  came.  Secure  as  I  was  in 
my  retreat,  I  should  have  been  terrified  if  I  had  known 
he  was  so  near  me.  He  pronounced  my  grandmother 
in  a  very  critical  situation,  and  said  if  her  attending 
physician  wished  it,  he  would  visit  her.  Nobody  wished 
to  have  him  coming  to  the  house  at  all  hours,  and  we 
were  not  disposed  to  give  him  a  chance  to  make  out  a 
long  bill. 

As  Mrs.  Flint  went  out,  Sally  told  her  the  reason  Ben 
ny  was  lame  was,  that  a  dog  had  bitten  him.  "  I'm  glad 
of  it,"  replied  she.  "  I  wish  he  had  killed  him.  It  would 
bo  good  newt  to  send  to  his  mother.  Her  day  will  come. 


Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


The  dogs  will  grab  her  yet."  "With  these  Christian 
words  she  and  her  husband  departed,  and,  to  my  great 
satisfaction,  returned  no  more. 

I  heard  from  uncle  Phillip,  with  feelings  of  unspeak 
able  joy  and  gratitude,  that  the  crisis  was  passed  and 
grandmother  would  live.  I  could  now  say  from  my 
heart,  "  God  is  merciful.  He  has  spared  me  the  an 
guish  of  feeling  that  I  caused  her  death." 


The  Candidate  for  Congrefs. 


XXIV. 

THE  CANDIDATE  FOR  CONGRESS. 

THE  summer  had  nearly  ended,  when  Dr.  Flint 
made  a  third  visit  to  New  York,  in  search  of  me. 
Two  candidates  were  running  for  Congress,  and  he 
returned  in  season  to  vote.  The  father  of  my  children 
was  the  Whig  candidate.  The  doctor  had  hitherto  been 
a  stanch  Whig ;  but  now  he  exerted  all  his  energies 
for  the  defeat  of  Mr.  Sands.  He  invited  large  parties 
of  men  to  dine  in  the  shade  of  his  trees,  and  supplied 
them  with  plenty  of  rum  and  brandy.  If  any  poor 
fellow  drowned  his  wits  in  the  bowl,  and,  in  the  open 
ness  of  his  convivial  heart,  proclaimed  that  he  did  not 
mean  to  vote  the  Democratic  ticket,  he  was  shoved  into 
the  street  without  ceremony. 

The  doctor  expended  his  liquor  in  vain.  Mr.  Sands 
was  elected ;  an  event  which  occasioned  me  some 
anxious  thoughts.  He  had  not  emancipated  my  chil 
dren,  and  if  he  should  die  they  would  be  at  the  mercy 
of  his  heirs.  Two  little  voices,  that  frequently  met 
my  car,  seemed  to  plead  with  me  not  to  let  their  father 
depart  without  striving  to  make  their  freedom  secure. 
Years  had  passed  since  I  had  spoken  to  him.  I  had 
not  even  seen  him  since  the  night  I  passed  him,  un 
recognized,  in  my  disguise  of  a  sailor.  I  supposed  he 
would  call  before  he  left,  to  say  something  to  my  grand 
mother  concerning  the  children,  and  I  resolved  what 
course  to  take. 


190      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

The  day  before  his  departure  for  Washington  I 
made  arrangements,  towards  evening,  to  get  from  my 
hiding-place  into  the  storeroom  below.  I  found  my 
self  so  stiff  and  clumsy  that  it  was  with  great  diffi 
culty  I  could  hitch  from  one  resting  place  to  another. 
When  I  reached  the  storeroom  my  ankles  gave  way 
under  me,  and  I  sank  exhausted  on  the  floor.  It 
seemed  as  if  I  could  never  use  my  limbs  again.  But 
the  purpose  I  had  in  view  roused  all  the  strength  I 
had.  I  crawled  on  my  hands  and  knees  to  the  window, 
and,  screened  behind  a  barrel,  I  waited  for  his  coming. 
The  clock  struck  nine,  and  I  knew  the  steamboat  would 
leave  between  ten  and  eleven.  My  hopes  were  failing. 
But  presently  I  heard  his  voice,  saying  to  some  one, 
"  Wait  for  me  a  moment.  I  wish  to  see  aunt  Martha." 
When  he  came  out,  as  he  passed  the  window,  I  said, 
"  Stop  one  moment,  and  let  me  speak  for  my  children." 
He  started,  hesitated,  and  then  passed  on,  and  went 
out  of  the  gate.  I  closed  the  shutter  I  had  partially 
opened,  and  sank  down  behind  the  barrel.  I  had  suf 
fered  much ;  but  seldom  had  I  experienced  a  keener 
pang  than  I  then  felt.  Had  my  children,  then,  be 
come  of  so  little  consequence  to  him?  And  had  he 
so  little  feeling  for  their  wretched  mother  that  he 
would  not  listen  a  moment  while  she  pleaded  for 
them  ?  Painful  memories  were  so  busy  within  me, 
that  I  forgot  I  had  not  hooked  the  shutter,  till  I  heard 
some  one  opening  it.  I  looked  up.  He  had  come 
back.  "  Who  called  me  ?  "  said  he,  in  a  low  tone. 
"  I  did,"  I  replied.  "  Oh,  Linda,"  said  lie,  "  I  knew 
your  voice  ;  but  I  was  afraid  to  answer,  lest  my  friend 
should  hear  me.  Why  do  you  come  here  ?  Is  it  pos- 


The  Candidate  for  Congrefs.  191 

sible  you  risk  yourself  in  this  house  ?  They  are  mad 
to  allow  it.  I  shall  expect  to  hear  that  you  are  all 
ruined."  I  did  not  wish  to  implicate  him,  by  letting 
him  know  my  place  of  concealment;  so  I  merely  said, 
"  I  thought  you  would  come  to  bid  grandmother  good 
by,  and  so  I  came  here  to  speak  a  few  words  to  you 
about  emancipating  my  children.  Many  changes  may 
take  place  during  the  six  months  you  are  gone  to 
Washington,  and  it  does  not  seem  right  for  you  to 
expose  them  to  the  risk  of  such  changes.  I  want  noth 
ing  for  myself;  all  I  ask  is,  that  you  will  free  my 
children,  or  authorize  some  friend  to  do  it,  before 
you  go." 

He  promised  he  would  do  it,  and  also  expressed  a 
readiness  to  make  any  arrangements  whereby  I  could 
be  purchased. 

I  heard  footsteps  approaching,  and  closed  the  shut 
ter  hastily.  I  wanted  to  crawl  back  to  my  den,  without 
letting  the  family  know  what  I  had  done ;  for  I  knew 
they  would  deem  it  very  imprudent.  But  he  stepped 
back  into  the  house,  to  tell  my  grandmother  that  he 
had  spoken  with  me  at  the  storeroom  window,  and  to 
beg  of  her  not  to  allow  me  to  remain  in  the  house  over 
night.  He  said  it  was  the  height  of  madness  for  me 
to  be  there ;  that  we  should  certainly  all  be  ruined. 
Luckily,  he  was  in  too  much  of  a  hurry  to  wait  for  a 
reply,  or  the  dear  old  woman  would  surely  have  told 
him  all. 

I  tried  to  go  back  to  my  den,  but  found  it  more 
difficult  to  go  up  than  I  had  to  come  down.  Now  that 
my  mission  was  fulfilled,  the  little  strength  that  had 
supported  me  through  it  was  gone,  and  I  sank  help- 


192      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

less  on  the  floor.  My  grandmother,  alarmed  at  the 
risk  I  had  run,  came  into  the  storeroom  in  the  dark, 
and  locked  the  door  behind  her.  "  Linda,"  she  whis 
pered,  "  where  are  you  ? " 

"  I  am  here  by  the  window,"  I  replied.  "  I  couldn't 
have  him  go  away  without  emancipating  the  children. 
Who  knows  what  may  happen  ? " 

"  Come,  come,  child,"  said  she,  "  it  won't  do  for 
you  to  stay  here  another  minute.  You've  done  wrong ; 
but  I  can't  blame  you,  poor  thing  !  " 

I  told  her  I  could  not  return  without  assistance,  and 
she  must  call  my  uncle.  Uncle  Phillip  came,  and  pity 
.prevented  him  from  scolding  me.  He  carried  me  back 
to  my  dungeon,  laid  me  tenderly  on  the  bed,  gave  me 
some  medicine,  and  asked  me  if  there  was  any  thing 
more  he  could  do.  Then  he  went  away,  and  I  was  left 
with  my  own  thoughts — starless  as  the  midnight  dark 
ness  around  me. 

My  friends  feared  I  should  become  a  cripple  for  life ; 
and  I  was  so  weary  of  my  long  imprisonment  that, 
had  it  not  been  for  the  hope  of  serving  my  children,  I 
should  have  been  thankful  to  die ;  but,  for  their  sakes, 
I  was  willing  to  bear  on. 


Competition  in  Cunning.  193 


XXV. 

COMPETITION  IN  CUNNING. 

DR.  FLINT  had  not  given  me  up.  Every  now  and 
then  he  would  say  to  my  grandmother  that  I  would 
yet  come  back,  and  voluntarily  surrender  myself;  and 
that  when  I  did,  I  could  he  purchased  by  my  relatives, 
or  any  one  who  wished  to  buy  me.  I  knew  his  cun 
ning  nature  too  well  not  to  percieve  that  this  was  a  trap 
laid  for  me ;  and  so  all  my  friends  understood  it.  I 
resolved  to  match  my  cunning  against  his  cunning. 
In  order  to  make  him  believe  that  I  was  in  New  York, 
I  resolved  to  write  him  a  letter  dated  from  that  place. 
I  sent  for  my  friend  Peter,  and  asked  him  if  he  knew 
any  trustworthy  seafaring  person,  who  would  carry 
such  a  letter  to  New  York,  and  put  it  in  the  post  office 
there.  He  said  he  knew  one  that  he  would  trust  with 
his  own  life  to  the  ends  of  the  world.  I  reminded 
him  that  it  was  a  hazardous  thing  for  him  to  under 
take.  He  said  he  knew  it,  but  he  was  willing  to  do 
any  thing  to  help  me.  I  expressed  a  wish  for  a  New 
York  paper,  to  ascertain  the  names  of  some  of  the 
streets.  He  run  his  hand  into  his  pocket,  and  said, 
"  Here  is  half  a  one,  that  was  round  a  cap  I  bought  of 
a  pedler  yesterday."  I  told  him  the  letter  would  be 
ready  the  next  evening.  He  bade  me  good  by,  add 
ing,  "Keep  up  your  spirits,  Linda;  brighter  days  will 
come  by  and  by." 

My  uncle  Phillip  kept  watch  over  the  gate  until 
17 


194-     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

our  brief  interview  was  over.  Early  the  next  morn 
ing,  I  seated  myself  near  the  little  aperture  to  examine 
the  newspaper.  It  was  a  piece  of  the  New  York  Her 
ald  ;  and,  for  once,  the  paper  that  systematically  abuses 
the  colored  people,  was  made  to  render  tbem  a  service. 
Having  obtained  what  information  I  wanted  concern 
ing  streets  and  numbers,  I  wrote  two  letters,  one  to 
my  grandmother,  the  other  to  Dr.  Flint.  I  reminded 
him  how  he,  a  gray-headed  man,  had  treated  a  helpless 
child,  who  had  been  placed  in  his  power,  and  what 
years  of  misery  he  had  brought  upon  her.  To  my 
grandmother,  I  expressed  a  wish  to  have  my  children 
sent  to  me  at  the  north,  where  I  could  teach  them  to 
respect  themselves,  and  set  them  a  virtuous  example ; 
which  a  slave  mother  was  not  allowed  to  do  at  the 
south.  I  asked  her  to  direct  her  answer  to  a  certain 
street  in  Boston,  as  I  did  not  live  in  New  York,  though 
I  went  there  sometimes.  I  dated  these  letters  ahead, 
to  allow  for  the  time  it  would  take  to  carry  them,  and 
sent  a  memorandum  of  the  date  to  the  messenger. 
"When  my  friend  came  for  the  letters,  I  said,  "  God 
bless  and  reward  you,  Peter,  for  this  disinterested  kind 
ness.  Pray  be  careful.  If  you  are  detected,  both  you 
and  I  will  have  to  suffer  dreadfully.  I  have  not  a 
relative  who  would  dare  to  do  it  for  me."  He  replied, 
"You  may  trust  to  me,  Linda.  I  don't  forget  that 
your  father  was  my  best  friend,  and  I  will  be  a  friend 
to  his  children  so  long  as  God  lets  me  live." 

It  was  necessary  to  tell  my  grandmother  what  I 
had  done,  in  order  that  she  might  be  ready  for  the 
letter,  and  prepared  to  hear  what  Dr.  Flint  might  say 
about  my  being  at  the  north.  She  was  sadly  troubled. 


Competition  in  Cunning. 

She  felt  sure  mischief  would  come  of  it.  1  also  told 
my  plan  to  aunt  Nancy,  in  order  that  she  might  re 
port  to  us  what  was  said  at  Dr.  Flint's  house.  I 
whispered  it  to  her  through  a  crack,  and  she  whispered 
back,  "  I  hope  it  will  succeed.  I  shan't  mind  being  a 
slave  all  my  life,  if  I  can  only  see  you  and  the  children 
free." 

I  had  directed  that  my  letters  should  be  put  into  the 
New  York  post  office  on  the  20th  of  the  month.  On 
the  evening  of  the  24th  my  aunt  came  to  say  that  Dr. 
Flint  and  his  wife  had  been  talking  in  a  low  voice 
about  a  letter  he  had  received,  and  that  when  he  went 
to  his  office  he  promised  to  bring  it  when  he  came  to 
tea.  So  I  concluded  I  should  hear  my  letter  read  the 
next  morning.  I  told  my  grandmother  Dr.  Flint 
would  be  sure  to  come,  and  asked  her  to  have  him  sit 
near  a  certain  door,  and  leave  it  open,  that  I  might 
hear  what  he  said.  The  next  morning  I  took  my 
station  within  sound  of  that  door,  and  remained 
motionless  as  a  statue.  It  was  not  long  before  I  heard 
the  gate  slam,  and  the  well-known  footsteps  enter  the 
house..  He  seated  himself  in  the  chair  that  was 
placed  for  him,  and  said,  "  "Well,  Martha,  I've  brought 
you  a  letter  from  Linda.  She  has  sent  me  a  letter, 
also.  I  know  exactly  where  to  find  her ;  but  I  don't 
choose  to  go  to  Boston  for  her.  I  had  rather  she 
would  come  back  of  her  own  accord,  in  a  respectable 
manner.  Her  uncle  Phillip  is  the  best  person  to  go 
for  her.  With  him,  she  would  feel  perfectly  free  to" 
act.  I  am  willing  to  pay  his  expenses  going  and  re 
turning.  She  shall  be  sold  to  her  friends.  Her 
children  are  free ;  at  least  I  suppose  they  are ;  and 


196     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

•when  you  obtain  her  freedom,  you'll  make  a  happy 
family.  I  suppose,  Martha,  you  have  no  objection  to 
my  reading  to  you  the  letter  Linda  has  written  to 
you." 

He  broke  the  seal,  and  I  heard  him  read  it.  The 
old  villain  !  He  had  suppressed  the  letter  I  wrote  to 
grandmother,  and  prepared  a  substitute  of  his  own, 
the  purport  of  which  was  as  follows :  — 

"Dear  Grandmother:  I  have  long  wanted  to  write 
to  you ;  but  the  disgraceful  manner  in  which  I  left  you 
and  my  children  made  me  ashamed  to  do  it.  If  you 
knew  how  much  I  have  suffered  since  I  ran  away,  you 
would  pity  and  forgive  me.  I  have  purchased  free 
dom  at  a  dear  rate.  If  any  arrangement  could  be 
made  for  me  to  return  to  the  south  withotit  being  a 
slave,  I  would  gladly  come.  If  not,  I  beg  of  you  to 
send  my  children  to  the  north.  J  cannot  live  any 
longer  without  them.  Let  me  know  in  time,  and  I 
will  meet  them  in  New  York  or  Philadelphia,  which 
ever  place  best  suits  my  uncle's  convenience.  Write 
as  soon  as  possible  to  your  unhappy  daughter, 

LINDA." 

"  It  is  very  much  as  I  expected  it  would  be,"  said 
the  old  hypocrite,  rising  to  go.  "You  see  the  foolish 
girl  has  repented  of  her  rashness,  and  wants  to  re 
turn.  We  must  help  her  to  do  it,  Martha.  Talk  with 
Phillip  about  it.  If  he  will  go  for  her,  she  will  trust 
to  him,  and  come  back.  I  should  like  an  answer  to 
morrow.  Good  morning,  Martha." 

As  he  stepped  out  on  the  piazza,  he  stumbled  over 


Competition  in  Cunning.  197 

my  little  girl.  "  Ah,  Ellen,  is  that  you  ?  "  he  said,  in 
his  most  gracious  manner.  "  I  didn't  see  you.  How 
do  you  do  ?  " 

"  Pretty  well,  sir,"  she  replied.  "  I  heard  you  tell 
grandmother  that  my  mother  is  coming  home.  I 
want  to  see  her." 

"  Yes,  Ellen,  I  am  going  to  bring  her  home  very 
soon,"  rejoined  he ;  "  and  you  shall  see  her  as  much 
as  you  like,  you  little  curly-headed  nigger." 

This  was  as  good  as  a  comedy  to  me,  who  had 
heard  it  all ;  but  grandmother  was  frightened  and 
distressed,  because  the  doctor  wanted  my  uncle  to 
go  for  me. 

The  next  evening  Dr.  Flint  called  to  talk  the 
matter  over.  My  uncle  told  him  that  from  what  he 
had  heard  of  Massachusetts,  he  judged  he  should  be 
mobbed  if  he  went  there  after  a  runaway  slave.  "All 
stuff  and  nonsense,  Phillip! "  replied  the  doctor.  "Do 
you  suppose  I  want  you  to  kick  up  a  row  in  Boston  ? 
The  business  can  all  be  done  quietly.  Linda  writes 
that  she  wants  to  come  back.  You  are  her  relative, 
and  she  would  trust  you.  The  case  would  be  different 
if  I  went.  She  might  object  to  coming  with  me ;  and 
the  damned  abolitionists,  if  they  knew  I  was  her 
master,  would  not  believe  me,  if  I  told  them  she  had 
begged  to  go  back.  They  would  get  up  a  row ;  and  I 
should  not  like  to  see  Linda  dragged  through  the 
streets  like  a  common  negro.  She  has  been  very  un 
grateful  to  me  for  all  my  kindness ;  but  I  forgive  her, 
and  want  to  act  the  part  of  a  friend  towards  her.  I 
have  no  wish  to  hold  her  as  my  slave.  Her  friends 
can  buy  her  as  soon  as  she  arrives  here." 

17* 


198       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

Finding  that  his  arguments  failed  to  convince  my 
uncle,  the  doctor  "  let  the  cat  out  of  the  bag,"  by  say 
ing  that  he  had  written  to  the  mayor  of  Boston,  to  as 
certain  whether  there  was  a  person  of  my  description 
at  the  street  and  number  from  which  my  letter  was 
dated.  He  had  omitted  this  date  in  the  letter  he  had 
made  up  to  read  to  my  grandmother.  If  I  had  dated 
from  New  York,  the  old  man  would  probably  have 
made  another  journey  to  that  city.  But  even  in  that 
dark  region,  where  knowledge  is  so  carefully  excluded 
from  the  slave,  I  had  heard  enough  about  Massachu 
setts  to  come  to  the  conclusion  that  slaveholders  did 
not  consider  it  a  comfortable  place  to  go  to  in  search 
of  a  runaway.  That  was  before  the  Fugitive  Slave 
,  Law  was  passed ;  before  Massachusetts  had  consented 
j>-^ia_beconie  a  "  nigger  hunter  "  for  the  south. 

My  grandmother,  who  had  become  skittish  by  seeing 
her  family  always  in  danger,  came  to  me  with  a  very 
distressed  countenance,  and  said,  "  What  will  you  do 
if  the  mayor  of  Boston  sends  him  word  that  you 
haven't  been  there  ?  Then  he  will  suspect  the  letter 
was  a  trick  ;  and  maybe  he'll  find  out  something  about 
it,  and  we  shall  all  get  into  trouble.  0  Linda,  I  wish 
you  had  never  sent  the  letters." 

"  Don't  worry  yourself,  grandmother,"  said  I. 
"  The  mayor  of  Boston  won't  trouble  himself  to  hunt 
niggers  for  Dr.  Flint.  The  letters  will  do  good  in  the 
end.  I  shall  get  out  of  this  dark  hole  some  time  or 
other." 

"I  hope  you  will,  child,"  replied  the  good,  patient 
old  friend.  "  You  have  been  here  a  long  time ;  almost 
five  years ;  but  whenever  you  do  go,  it  will  break  your 


Competition  in  Cunning.  199 

old  grandmother's  heart.  I  should  be  expecting  every 
day  to  hear  that  you  were  brought  back  in  irons 
and  put  in  jail  God  help  you,  poor  child !  Let 
us  be  thankful  that  some  time  or  other  we  shall 
go  "  where  the  wicked  cease  from  troubling,  and 
the  weary  are  at  rest."  My  heart  responded,  Amen. 

The  fact  that  Dr.  Flint  had  written  to  the  mayor 
of  Boston  convinced  me  that  he  believed  my  letter 
to  be  genuine,  and  of  course  that  he  had  no  sus 
picion  of  my  being  any  where  in  the  vicinity.  It 
was  a  great  object  to  keep  up  this  delusion,  for 
it  made  me  and  my  friends  feel  less  anxious,  and 
it  would  be  very  convenient  whenever  there  was  a 
chance  to  escape.  I  resolved,  therefore,  to  continue 
to  write  letters  from  the  north  from  time  to  time. 

Two  or  three  weeks  passed,  and  as  no  news  came 
from  the  mayor  of  Boston,  grandmother  began  to 
listen  to  my  entreaty  to  be  allowed  to  leave  my 
cell,  sometimes,  and  exercise  my  limbs  to  prevent 
my  becoming  a  cripple.  I  was  allowed  to  slip  down 
into  the  small  storeroom,  early  in  the  morning, 
and  remain  there  a  little  while.  The  room  was  all 
filled  up  with  barrels,  except  a  small  open  space 
under  my  trap-door.  This  faced  the  door,  the  upper 
part  of  which  was  of  glass,  and  purposely  left  un 
curtained,  that  the  curious  might  look  in.  The 
air  of  this  place  was  close ;  but  it  was  so  much 
better  than  the  atmosphere  of  my  cell,  that  I  dreaded 
to  return.  I  came  down  as  soon  as  it  was  light, 
and  remained  till  eight  o'clock,  when  people  began 
to  be  about,  and  there  was  danger  that  some  one 
might  conie  on  the  piazza.  I  had  tried  various 


2OO      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

applications  to  bring  warmth  and  feeling  into  my 
limbs,  but  without  avail.  They  were  so  numb  and 
stiff  that  it  was  a  painful  effort  to  move;  and  had 
my  enemies  come  upon  me  during  the  first  mornings 
I  tried  to  exercise  them  a  little  in  the  small  un 
occupied  space  of  the  storeroom,  it  would  have  been 
impossible  for  me  to  have  escaped. 


( 

Important  Era  in  my  Brother's  Life.      201 


XXVI. 

IMPORTANT  ERA  IN  MY  BROTHER'S  LIFE. 

I  MISSED  the  company  and  kind  attentions  of  my 
brother  William,  who  had  gone  to  Washington  with  his 
master,  Mr.  Sands.  We  received  several  letters  from 
him,  written  without  any  allusion  to  me,  but  expressed 
in  such  a  manner  that  I  knew  he  did  not  forget  me. 
I  disguised  my  hand,  and  wrote  to  him  in  the  same 
manner.  It  was  a  long  session ;  and  when  it  closed, 
William  wrote  to  inform  us  that  Mr.  Sands  was  going 
to  the  north,  to  be  gone  some  time,  and  that  he  was 
to  accompany  him.  I  knew  that  his  master  had  prom 
ised  to  give  him  his  freedom,  but  no  time  had  been 
specified.  Would  William  trust  to  a  slave's  chances  ? 
I  remembered  how  we  used  to  talk  together,  in  our 
young  days,  about  obtaining  our  freedom,  and  I  thought 
it  very  doubtful  whether  he  would  come  back  to  us. 

Grandmother  received  a  letter  from  Mr.  Sands,  say 
ing  tbat  William  had  proved  a  most  faithful  servant, 
and  he  would  also  say  a  valued  friend  ;  that  no  mother 
had  ever  trained  a  better  boy.  He  said  he  had  travelled 
through  the  Northern  States  and  Canada ;  and  though 
the  abolitionists  had  tried  to  decoy  him  away,  they  had 
never  succeeded.  He  ended  by  saying  they  should  be 
at  home  shortly. 

We  expected  letters  from  William,  describing  the 
novelties  of  his  journey,  but  none  came.  In  time,  it 
was  reported  that  Mr.  Sands  would  return  late  in  the 


2O2      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

autumn,  accompanied  by  a  bride.  Still  no  letters  from 
William.  I  felt  almost  sure  I  should  never  see  him 
again  on  southern  soil ;  but  had  he  no  word  of  comfort 
to  send  to  his  friends  at  home  ?  to  the  poor  captive  in 
her  dungeon  ?  My  thoughts  wandered  through  the 
dark  past,  and  over  the  uncertain  future.  Alone  in  my 
cell,  where  no  eye  but  God's  could  see  me,  I  wept  bit 
ter  tears.  How  earnestly  I  prayed  to  him  to  restore 
me  to  my  children,  and  enable  me  to  be  a  useful 
woman  and  a  good  mother ! 

At  last  the  day  arrived  for  the  return  of  the  travellers. 
Grandmother  had  made  loving  preparations  to  welcome 
her  absent  boy  back  to  the  old  hearthstone.  When  the 
dinner  table  was  laid,  William's  plate  occupied  its  old 
place.  The  stage  coach  went  by  empty.  My  grand 
mother  waited  dinner.  She  thought  perhaps  he  was 
necessarily  detained  by  his  master.  In  my  prison  I 
listened  anxiously,  expecting  every  moment  to  hear  my 
dear  brother's  voice  and  step.  In  the  course  of  the  after 
noon  a  lad  was  sent  by  Mr.  Sands  to  tell  grandmother 
that  William  did  not  return  with  him  ;  that  the  aboli 
tionists  had  decoyed  him  away.  But  he  begged  her 
not  to  feel  troubled  about  it,  for  he  felt  confident  she 
would  see  William  in  a  few  days.  As  soon  as  he  had 
time  to  reflect  he  would  come  back,  for  he  could  never 
expect  to  be  so  well  off  at  the  north  as  he  had  been 
with  him. 

If  you  had  seen  the  tears,  and  heard  the  sobs,  you 
would  have  thought  the  messenger  had  brought  tidings 
of  death  instead  of  freedom.  Poor  old  grandmother 
felt  that  she  should  never  see  her  darling  boy  again. 
And  I  was  selfish.  I  thought  more  of  what  I  had  lost, 


Important  Era  in  my  Brother's  Life.      203 

than  of  what  my  brother  had  gained.  A  new  anxiety 
began  to  trouble  me.  Mr.  Sands  had  expended  a 
good  deal  of  money,  and  would  naturally  feel  irritat 
ed  by  the  loss  he  bad  incurred.  I  greatly  feared  this 
might  injure  the  prospects  of  my  children,  who  were 
now  becoming  valuable  property.  I  longed  to  have 
their  emancipation  made  certain.  The  more  so, 'be 
cause  their  master  and  father  was  now  married.  I  was* 
too  familiar  with  slavery  not  to  know  that  promises 
made  to  slaves,  though  with  kind  intentions,  and  sin 
cere  at  the  time,  depend  upon  many  contingencies  for  , 
their  fulfilment. 

Much  as  I  wished  William  to  be  free,  the  step  he  had 
taken  made  me  sad  and  anxious.  The  following  Sab 
bath  was  calm  and  clear ;  so  beautiful  that  it  seemed 
like  a  Sabbath  in  the  eternal  world.  My  grandmother 
brought  the  children  out  on  the  piazza,  that  I  might 
hear  their  voices.  She  thought  it  would  comfort  me 
in  my  despondency  ;  and  it  did.  They  chatted  mer 
rily,  as  only  children  can.  Benny  said,  "  Grandmother, 
do  you  think  uncle  Will  has  gone  for  good  ?  Won't 
he  ever  come  back  again  ?  May  be  he'll  find  mother. 
If  he  does,  won't  she  be  glad  to  see  him !  Why 
don't  you  and  uncle  Phillip,  and  all  of  us,  go  and  live 
where  mother  is  ?  I  should  like  it ;  wouldn't  you, 
Ellen  ? " 

"  Yes,  I  should  like  it,"  replied  Ellen ;  "  but  how 
could  we  find  her  ?  Do  you  know  the  place,  grand 
mother  ?  I  don't  remember  how  mother  looked  —  do 
you,  Benny  ? " 

Benny  was  just  beginning  to  describe  me  when  they 
were  interrupted  by  an  old  slave  woman,  a  near  neigh- 


204      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

bor,  named  Aggie.  This  poor  creature  had  witnessed 
the  sale  of  her  children,  and  •  seen  them  carried  off  to 
parts  unknown,  without  any  hopes  of  ever  hearing  from 
them  again.  She  saw  that  my  grandmother  had  been 
weeping,  and  she  said,  in  a  sympathizing  tone,  "  What's 
the  matter,  aunt  Marthy  ?  " 

"  0  Aggie,"  she  replied,  "  it  seems  as  if  I  shouldn't 
have  any  of  my  children  or  grandchildren  left  to  hand 
me  a  drink  when  I'm  dying,  and  lay  my  old  body  in 
the  ground.  My  boy  didn't  come  back  with  Mr.  Sands. 
He  staid  at  the  north." 

Poor  old  Aggie  clapped  her  hands  for  joy.  "  Is  dot 
what  you's  crying  fur  ?  "  she  exclaimed.  "  Git  down 
on  your  knees  and  bress  de  Lord  !  I  don't  know  whar 
my  poor  chillern  is,  and  I  nebber  'spect  to  know. 
You  don't  know  whar  poor  Linda's  gone  to  ;  but  you  do 
know  whar  her  brudder  is.  He's  in  free  parts ;  and 
dat's  de  right  place.  Don't  murmur  at  de  Lord's  do 
ings,  but  git  down  on  your  knees  and  tank  him  for 
his  goodness." 

My  selfishness  was  rebuked  by  what  poor  Aggie  said. 
She  rejoiced  over  the  escape  of  one  who  was  merely  her 
fellow-bondman,  while  his  own  sister  was  only  thinking 
what  his  good  fortune  might  cost  her  children.  I  knelt 
and  prayed  God  to  forgive  me  ;  and  I  thanked  him  from 
my  heart,  that  one  of  my  family  was  saved  from  the 
grasp  of  slavery. 

It  was  not  long  before  we  received  a  letter  from  Wil 
liam.  He  wrote  that  Mr.  Sands  had  always  treated 
him  kindly,  and  that  he  had  tried  to  do  his  duty  to 
him  faithfully.  But  ever  since  he  was  a  boy,  he  had 
longed  to  be  free ;  and  he  had  already  gone  through 


Important  Era  in  my  Brother's  Life.      205 

enough  to  convince  him  he  had  better  not  lose  the 
chance  that  offered.  He  concluded  by  saying,  "  Don't 
worry  about  me,  dear  grandmother.  I  shall  think  of 
you  always  ;  and  it  will  spur  me  on  to  work  hard  and 
try  to  do  right.  When  I  haye  earned  money  enough 
to  give  you  a  home,  perhaps  you  will  come  to  the  north, 
and  we  can  all  live  happy  together." 

Mr.  Sands  told  my  uncle  Phillip  the  particulars 
about  William's  leaving  him.  He  said,  "  I  trusted 
him  as  if  he  were  my  own  brother,  and  treated  him  as 
kindly.  The  abolitionists  talked  to  him  in  several 
places ;  but  I  had  no  idea  they  could  tempt  him. 
However,  I  don't  blame  William.  He's  young  and  in 
considerate,  and  those  Northern  rascals  decoyed  him. 
I  must  confess  the  scamp  was  very  bold  about  it.  I  met 
him  coming  down  the  steps  of  the  Astor  House  with 
his  trunk  on  his  shoulder,  and  I  asked  him  where  he 
was  going.  He  said  he  was  going  to  change  his  old 
trunk.  I  told  him  it  was  rather  shabby,  and  asked  if 
he  didn't  need  some  money.  He  said,  No,  thanked 
me,  and  went  off.  He  did  not  return  so  soon  as  I  ex 
pected  ;  but  I  waited  patiently.  At  last  I  went  to  see  if 
our  trunks  were  packed,  ready  for  our  journey.  I 
found  them  locked,  and  a  sealed  note  on  the  table  in 
formed  me  where  I  could  find  the  keys.  The  fellow 
even  tried  to  be  religious.  He  wrote  that  he  hoped 
God  would  always  bless  me,  and  reward  me  for  my 
kindness  ;  that  he  was  not  unwilling  to  serve  me  ;  but 
he  wanted  to  be  a  free  man  ;  and  that  if  I  thought  he 
did  wrong,  he  hoped  I  would  forgive  him.  I  intended 
to  give  him  his  freedom  in  five  years.  He  might  have 
trusted  me.  He  has  shown  himself  ungrateful ;  but  I 

18 


2c6     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

shall  not  go  for  him,  or  send  for  him.  I  feel  confident 
that  he  will  soon  return  to  me." 

I  afterwards  heard  an  account  of  the  affair  from 
William  himself.  He  had  not  been  urged  away  by 
abolitionists.  He  needed  no  information  they  could 
give  him  about  slavery  to  stimulate  his  desire  for 
freedom.  He  looked  at  his  hands,  and  remembered 
that  they  were  once  in  irons.  What  security  had  he 
that  they  would  not  be  so  again  ?  Mr.  Sands  was 
kind  to  him ;  but  he  might  indefinitely  postpone  the 
promise  he  had  made  to  give  him  his  freedom.  He 
might  come  under  pequniary  embarrassments,  and  his 
property  be  seized  by  creditors  ;  or  he  might  die,  with 
out  making  any  arrangements  in  his  favor.  He  had 
too  often  known  such  accidents  to  happen  to  slaves 
who  had  kind  masters,  and  he  wisely  resolved  to  make 
sure  of  the  present  opportunity  to  own  himself.  He 
was  scrupulous  about  taking  any  money  from  his 
master  on  false  pretences  ;  so  he  sold  his  best  clothes 
to  pay  for  his  passage  to  Boston.  The  slaveholders 
pronounced  him  a  base,  ungrateful  wretch,  for  thus 
requiting  his  master's  indulgence.  What  would  they 
have  done  under  similar  circumstances  ? 

When  Dr.  Flint's  family  heard  that  William  had 
deserted  Mr.  Sands,  they  chuckled  greatly  over  the 
news.  Mrs.  Flint  made  her  usual  manifestations  of 
Christian  feeling,  by  saying,  "  I'm  glad  of  it.  I  hope 
he'll  never  get  him  again.  I  like  to  see  people  paid 
back  in  their  own  coin.  I  reckon  Linda's  children 
will  have  to  pay  for  it.  I  should  be  glad  to  see  them 
in  the  speculator's  hands  again,  for  I'm  tired  of  seeing 
those  little  niggers  march  about  the  streets." 


% 

New  Deftination  for  the  Children.        207 


XXVII. 

NEW  DESTINATION  FOR  THE  CHILDREN. 

MRS.  FLINT  proclaimed  her  intention  of  informing 
Mrs.  Sands  who  was  the  father  of  my  children.  She 
likewise  proposed  to  tell  her  what  an  artful  devil  I  was ; 
that  I  had  made  a  great  deal  of  trouble  in  her  family ; 
that  when  Mr.  Sands  was  at  the  north,  she  didn't 
doubt  I  had  followed  him  in  disguise,  and  persuaded 
William  to  run  away.  She  had  some  reason  to  enter 
tain  such  an  idea ;  for  I  had  written  from  the  north, 
from  time  to  time,  and  I  dated  my  letters  from  various 
places.  Many  of  them  fell  into  Dr.  Flint's  hands,  as  I 
expected  they  would ;  and  he  must  have  come  to  the 
conclusion  that  I  travelled  about  a  good  deal.  He 
kept  a  close  watch  over  my  children,  thinking  they 
would  eventually  lead  to  my  detection. 

A  new  and  unexpected  trial  was  in  store  for  me. 
One  day,  when  Mr.  Sands  and  his  wife  were  walking 
in  the  street,  they  met  Benny.  The  lady  took  a  fancy 
to  him,  and  exclaimed,  "  What  a  pretty  little  negro ! 
Whom  does  he  belong  to  ?  " 

Benny  did  not  hear  the  answer ;  but  he  came  home 
very  indignant  with  the  stranger  lady,  because  she  had 
called  him  a  negro.  A  few  days  afterwards,  Mr.  Sands 
called  on  my  grandmother,  and  told  her  he  wanted  her 
to  take  the  children  to  his  house.  He  said  he  had 
informed  his  wife  of  his  relation  to  them,  and  told  her 
they  were  motherless ;  and  she  wanted  to  see  them. 


208      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

When  he  had  gone,  my  grandmother  came  and  asked 
what  I  would  do.  The  question  seemed  a  mockery. 
What  could  I  do  ?  They  were  Mr.  Sands's  slaves,  and 
their  mother  was  a  slave,  whom  he  had  represented  to 
be  dead.  Perhaps  he  thought  I  was.  I  was  too  much 
pained  and  puzzled  to  come  to  any  decision ;  and  the 
children  were  carried  without  my  knowledge. 

Mrs.  Sands  had  a  sister  from  Illinois  staying  with 
her.  This  lady,  who  had  no  children  of  her  own,  was 
so  much  pleased  with  Ellen,  that  she  offered  to  adopt 
her,  and  bring  her  up  as  she  would  a  daughter.  Mrs. 
Sands  wanted  to  take  Benjamin.  When  grandmother 
reported  this  to  me,  I  was  tried  almost  beyond  endur 
ance.  Was  this  all  I  was  to  gain  by  what  I  had  suf 
fered  for  the  sake  of  having  my  children  free  ?  True, 
the  prospect  seemed  fair ;  but  I  knew  too  well  how 
lightly  slaveholders  held  such  "  parental  relations." 
If  pecuniary  troubles  should  come,  or  if  the  new  wife 
required  more  money  than  could  conveniently  be 
spared,  my  children  might  be  thought  of  as  a  con 
venient  means  of  raising  funds.  I  had  no  trust  in 
thee,  0  Slavery !  Never  should  I  know  peace  till  my 
children  were  emancipated  with  all  due  formalities  of 
law. 

I  was  too  proud  to  ask  Mr.  Sands  to  do  any  thing  for 
my  own  benefit ;  but  I  could  bring-vmyself  to  become  a 
supplicant  for  my  children.  I  resolved  to  remind  him 
of  the  promise  he  had  made  me,  and  to  throw  myself 
upon  his  honor  for  the  performance  of  it.  I  persuaded 
my  grandmother  to  go  to  him,  and  tell  him  I  was  not 
dead,  and  that  I  earnestly  entreated  him  to  keep  the 
promise  he  had  made  me ;  that  I  had  heard  of  the 


New  Deftination  for  the  Children.        209 

recent  proposals  concerning  niy  children,  and  did  not 
feel  easy  to  accept  them ;  that  he  had  promised  to 
emancipate  them,  and  it  was  time  for  him  to  redeem 
his  pledge.  I  knew  there  was  some  risk  in  thus  be 
traying  that  I  was  in  the  vicinity ;  but  what  will  not  a 
mother  do  for  her  children  ?  He  received  the  message 
with  surprise,  and  said,  "  The  children  are  free.  I 
have  never  intended  to  claim  them  as  slaves.  Linda 
may  decide  their  fate.  In  my  opinion,  they  had  better 
be  sent  to  the  north.  I  don't  think  they  are  quite 
safe  here.  Dr.  Flint  boasts  that  they  are  still  in  his 
power.  He  says  they  were  his  daughter's  property, 
and  as  she  was  not  of  age  when  they  were  sold,  the 
contract  is  not  legally  binding." 

So,  then,  after  all  I  had  endured  for  their  sakes,  my 
poor  children  were  between  two  fires ;  between  my  old 
master  and  their  new  master !  And  I  was  powerless. 
There  was  no  protecting  arm  of  the  law  for  me  to  in 
voke.  Mr.  Sands  proposed  that  Ellen  should  go,  for 
the  present,  to  some  of  his  relatives,  who  had  removed 
to  Brooklyn,  Long  Island.  It  was  promised  that  she 
should  be  well  taken  care  of,  and  sent  to  school.  I 
consented  to  it,  as  the  best  arrangement  I  could  make 
for  her.  My  grandmother,  of  course,  negotiated  it  all ; 
and  Mrs.  Sands  knew  of  no  other  person  in  the  trans 
action.  She  proposed  that  they  should  take  Ellen  with 
them  to  Washington,  and  keep  her  till  they  had  a  good 
chance  of  sending  her,  with  friends,  to  Brooklyn.  She 
had  an  infant  daughter.  I  had  had  a  glimpse  of  it,  as 
the  nurse  passed  with  it  in  her  arms.  It  was  not  a 
pleasant  thought  to  me,  that  the  bondwoman's  child 
should  tend  her  free-born  sister ;  but  there  was  no  al- 

18* 


2io      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

ternative.  Ellen  was  made  ready  for  the  journey.  0, 
how  it  tried  my  heart  to  send  her  away,  so  young,  alone, 
among  strangers  !  Without  a  mother's  love  to  shelter 
her  from  the  storms  of  life ;  almost  without  memory 
of  a  mother !  I  doubted  whether  she  and  Benny  would 
have  for  me  the  natural  affection  that  children  feel  for 
a  parent.  I  thought  to  myself  that  I  might  perhaps 
never  see  my  daughter  again,  and  I  had  a  great  desire 
that  she  should  look  upon  me,  before  she  went,  that 
she  might  take  my  image  with  her  in  her  memory.  It 
seemed  to  me  cruel  to  have  her  brought  to  my  dun 
geon.  It  was  sorrow  enough  for  her  young  heart  to 
know  that  her  mother  was  a  victim  of  slavery,  without 
seeing  the  wretched  hiding-place  to  which  it  had  driven 
her.  I  begged  permission  to  pass  the  last  night  in  one 
of  the  open  chambers,  with  my  little  girl.  They 
thought  I  was  crazy  to  think  of  trusting  such  a  young 
child  with  my  perilous  secret.  I  told  them  I  had 
watched  her  character,  and  I  felt  sure  she  would  not 
betray  me ;  that  I  was  determined  to  have  an  inter 
view,  and  if  they  would  not  facilitate  it,  I  would  take 
my  own  way  to  obtain  it.  They  remonstrated  against 
the  rashness  of  such  a  proceeding;  but  finding  they 
could  not  change  my  purpose,  they  yielded.  I  slipped 
through  the  trap-door  into  the  storeroom,  and  my  uncle 
kept  watch  at  the  gate,  while  I  passed  into  the  piazza 
and  went  up  stairs,  to  the  room  I  used  to  occupy.  It 
was  more  than  five  years  since  I  had  seen  it ;  and  how 
the  memories  crowded  on  me  !  There  I  had  taken 
shelter  when  my  mistress  drove  me  from  her  house ; 
there  came  my  old  tyrant,  to  mock,  insult,  and  curse 
me ;  there  my  children  were  first  laid  in  my  arms  ; 


New  Deftination  for  the  Children.        211 

there  I  had  watched  over  them,  each  day  with  a  deeper 
and  sadder  love ;  there  I  had  knelt  to  God,  in  anguish 
of  heart,  to  forgive  the  wrong  I  had  done.  How  viv 
idly  it  all  caine  back !  And  after  this  long,  gloomy 
interval,  I  stood  there  such  a  wreck ! 

In  the  midst  of  these  meditations,  I  heard  footsteps 
on  the  stairs.  The  door  opened,  and  my  uncle  Phillip 
came  in,  leading  Ellen  by  the  hand.  I  put  my  arms 
round  her,  and  said,  "  Ellen,  my  dear  child,  I  am  your 
mother."  She  drew  back  a  little,  and  looked  at  me  ; 
then,  witli  sweet  confidence,  she  laid  her  cheek  against 
mine,  and  I  folded  her  to  the  heart  that  had  been' so 
long  desolated.  She  was  the  first  to  speak.  Raising 
her  head,  she  said,  inquiringly,  "  You  really  are  my 
mother  ?  "  I  told  her  I  really  was ;  that  during  all 
the  long  time  she  had  not  seen  me,  I  had  loved  her 
most  tenderly ;  and  that  now  she  was  going  away,  I 
wanted  to  see  her  and  talk  with  her,  that  she  might 
remember  me.  With  a  sob  in  her  voice,  she  said, 
"  I'm  glad  you've  come  to  see  me  ;  but  why  didn't  you 
ever  come  before  ?  Benny  and  I  have  wanted  so  much 
to  see  you !  He  remembers  you,  and  sometimes  he 
tells  me  about  you.  Why  didn't  you  come  home  when 
Dr.  Flint  went  to  bring  you  ?  " 

I  answered,  "  I  couldn't  come  before,  dear.  But 
now  that  I  am  with  you,  tell  me  whether  you  like  to 
go  away."  "  I  don't  know,"  said  she,  crying.  "  Grand 
mother  says  I  ought  not  to  cry  ;  that  I  am  going  to  a 
good  place,  where  I  can  learn  to  read  and  write,  and 
that  by  and  by  I  can  write  her  a  letter.  But  I  shan't 
have  Benny,  or  grandmother,  or  uncle  Phillip,  or  any 
body  to  love  me.  Can't  you  go  with  me  ?  0,  do  go, 
dear  niQther !  " 


212      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

I  told  her  I  couldn't  go  now ;  but  sometime  I  would 
come  to  her,  and  then  she  and  Benny  and  I  would  live 
together,  and  have  happy  times.  She  wanted  to  run 
and  bring  Benny  to  see  me  now.  I  told  her  he  was 
going  to  the  north,  before  long,  with  uncle  Phillip, 
and  then  I  would  come  to  see  him  before  he  went 
away.  I  asked  if  she  would  like  to  have  me  stay  all 
night  and  sleep  with  her.  "  0,  yes,"  she  replied. 
Then,  turning  to  her  uncle,  she  said,  pleadingly,  "  May 
I  stay  ?  Please,  uncle !  She  is  my  own  mother." 
He  laid  his  hand  on  her  head,  and  said,  solemnly, 
"  Ellen,  this  is  the  secret  you  have  promised  grand 
mother  never  to  tell.  If  you  ever  speak  of  it  to  any 
body,  they  will  never  let  you  see  your  grandmother 
again,  and  your  mother  can  never  come  to  Brooklyn." 
«  Uncle,"  she  replied,  "  I  will  never  tell."  He  told 
her  she  might  stay  with  me ;  and  when  he  had  gone,  I 
took  her  in  my  arms  and  told  her  I  was  a  slave,  and 
that  was  the  reason  she  must  never  say  she  had  seen 
me.  I  exhorted  her  to  be  a  good  child,  to  try  to  please 
the  people  where  she  was  going,  and  that  God  would 
raise  her  up  friends.  I  told  her  to  say  her  prayers, 
and  remember  always  to  pray  for  her  poor  mother,  and 
that  God  would  permit  us  to  meet  again.  She  wept, 
and  I  did  not  check  her  tears.  Perhaps  she  would 
never  again  have  a  chance  to  pour  her  tears  into  a 
mother's  bosom.  All  night  she  nestled  in  my  arms, 
and  I  had  no  inclination  to  slumber.  The  moments 
were  too  precious  to  lose  any  of  them.  Once,  when  I 
thought  she  was  asleep,  I  kissed  her  forehead  softly, 
and  she  said,  "  I  am  not  asleep,  dear  mother." 

Before  dawn  they  came  to  take  me  back  to  my  den. 


New  Deftination  for  the  Children.        213 

I  drew  aside  the  window  curtain,  to  take  a  last  look  of 
my  child.  The  moonlight  shone  on  her  face,  and  I 
bent  over  her,  as  I  had  done  years  before,  that  wretched 
night  when  I  ran  away.  I  hugged  her  close  to  my 
throbbing  heart ;  and  tears,  too  sad  for  such  young 
eyes  to  shed,  flowed  down  her  cheeks,  as  she  gave  her 
last  kiss,  and  whispered  in  my  ear,  "  Mother,  I  will 
never  tell."  And  she  never  did. 

When  I  got  back  to  my  den,  I  threw  myself  on  the 
bed  and  wept  there  alone  in  the  darkness.  It  seemed 
as  if  my  heart  would  burst.  When  the  time  for  El 
len's  departure  drew  nigh,  I  could  hear  neighbors  and 
friends  saying  to  her,  "  Good  by,  Ellen.  I  hope  your 
poor  mother  will  find  you  out.  Won't  you  be  glad  to 
see  her !  "  She  replied,  "  Yes,  ma'am  ;  "  and  they 
little  dreamed  of  the  weighty  secret  that  weighed  down 
her  young  heart.  She  was  an  affectionate  child,  but 
naturally  very  reserved,  except  with  those  she  loved, 
and  I  felt  secure  that  my  secret  would  be  safe  with  her. 
I  heard  the  gate  close  after  her,  with  such  feelings  as 
only  a  slave  mother  can  experience.  During  the  day 
my  meditations  were  very  sad.  Sometimes  I  feared  I 
had  been  very  selfish  not  to  give  up  all  claim  to  her, 
and  let  her  go  to  Illinois,  to  be  adopted  by  Mrs.  Sands's 
sister.  It  was  my  experience  of  slavery  that  decided 
me  against  it.  I  feared  that  circumstances  might  arise 
that  would  cause  her  to  be  sent  back.  I  felt  confident 
that  I  should  go  to  New  York  myself ;  and  then  I 
should  be  able  to  watch  over  her,  and  in  some  degree 
protect  her. 

Dr.  Flint's  family  knew  nothing  of  the  proposed 
arrangement  till  after  Ellen  was  gone,  and  the  news 


214     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

displeased  them  greatly.  Mrs.  Flint  called  on  Mrs. 
Sands' s  sister  to  inquire  into  the  matter.  She  ex 
pressed  her  opinion  very  freely  as  to  the  respect  Mr. 
Sands  showed  for  his  wife,  and  for  his  own  character, 
in  acknowledging  those  "  young  niggers."  And  as  for 
sending  Ellen  away,  she  pronounced  it  to  be  just  as 
much  stealing  as  it  would  be  for  him  to  come  and  take 
a  piece  of  furniture  out  of  her  parlor.  She  said  her 
daughter  was  not  of  age  to  sign  the  bill  of  sale,  and 
the  children  were  her  property ;  and  wljen  she  became 
of  age,  or  was  married,  she  could  take  them,  wherever 
she  could  lay  hands  on  them. 

Miss  Emily  Flint,  the  little  girl  to  whom  I  had  been 
bequeathed,  was  now  in  her  sixteenth  year.  Her 
mother  considered  it  all  right  and  honorable  for  her, 
or  her  future  husband,  to  steal  my  children ;  but  she 
did  not  understand  how  any  body  could  hold  up  their 
heads  in  respectable  society,  after  they  had  purchased 
their  own  children,  as  Mr.  Sands  had  done.  Dr.  Flint 
said  very  little.  Perhaps  he  thought  that  Benny  would 
be  less  likely  to  be  sent  away  if  he  kept  quiet.  One 
of  my  letters,  that  fell  into  his  hands,  war  dated  from 
Canada ;  and  he  seldom  spoke  of  me  now.  This  state 
of  things  enabled  me  to  slip  down  into  the  storeroom 
more  frequently,  where  I  could  stand  upright,  and 
move  my  limbs  more  freely. 

Days,  weeks,  and  months  passed,  and  there  came  no 
news  of  Ellen.  I  sent  a  letter  to  Brooklyn,  written  in 
my  grandmother's  name,  to  inquire  whether  she  had 
arrived  there.  Answer  was  returned  that  she  had  not. 
I  wrote  to  her  in  Washington ;  but  no  notice  was  taken 
of  it.  There  was  one  person  there,  who  ought  to  have 


New  Deftination  for  the  Children.        215 

had  some  sympathy  with  the  anxiety  of  the  child's 
friends  at  home  ;  but  the  links  of  such  relations  as  he 
had  formed  with  me,  are  easily  broken  and  cast  away 
as  rubbish.  Yet  how  protectingly  and  persuasively 
he  once  talked  to  the  poor,  helpless  slave  girl !  And 
how  entirely  I  trusted  him  !  But  now  suspicions  dark 
ened  my  mind.  Was  my  child  dead,  or  had  they  de 
ceived  rue,  and  sold  her  ? 

If  the  secret  memoirs  of  many  members  of  Congress 
should  be  published,  curious  details  would  be  unfolded. 
I  once  saw  a  letter  from  a  member  of  Congress  to  a 
slave,  who  was  the  mother  of  six  of  his  children.  He 
wrote  to  request  that  she  would  send  her  children  away 
from  the  great  house  before  his  return,  as  he  expected 
to  be  accompanied  by  friends.  The  woman  could  not 
read,  and  was  obliged  to  employ  another  to  read  the 
letter.  The  existence  of  the  colored  children  did  not 
trouble  this  gentleman,  it  was  only  the  fear  that 
friends  might  recognize  in  their  features  a  resem 
blance  to  him. 

At  the  end  of  six  months,  a  letter  came  to  my  grand 
mother,  from  Brooklyn.  It  was  written  by  a  young 
lady  in  the  family,  and  announced  that  Ellen  had  just 
arrived.  It  contained  the  following  message  from  her: 
"  I  do  try  to  do  just  as  you  told  me  to,  and  I  pray  for 
you  every  night  and  morning."  I  understood  that 
these  words  were  meant  for  me;  and  they  were  a 
balsam  to  my  heart.  The  writer  closed  her  letter  by 
saying,  "  Ellen  is  a  nice  little  girl,  and  we  shall  like  to 
have  her  with  us.  My  cousin,  Mr.  Sands,  has  given 
her  to  me,  to  be  my  little  waiting  maid.  I  shall  send 
her  to  school,  and  I  hope  some  day  she  will  write  to 


216     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

you  herself."  This  letter  perplexed  and  troubled  me. 
Had  my  child's  father  merely  placed  her  there  till  she 
•was  old  enough  to  support  herself  ?  Or  had  he  given 
her  to  his  cousin,  as  a  piece  of  property  ?  If  the  last 
idea  was  correct,  his  cousin  might  return  to  the  south 
at  any  time,  and  hold  Ellen  as  a  slave.  I  tried  to  put 
away  from  me  the  painful  thought  that  such  a  foul 
wrong  could  have  been  done  to  us.  I  said  to  myself, 
"  Surely  there  must  be  some  justice  in  man ; "  then  I 
remembered,  with  a  sigh,  how  slavery  perverted  all 
the  natural  feelings  of  the  human  heart.  It  gave  me 
a  pang  to  look  on  my  light-hearted  boy.  He  believed 
himself  free  ;  and  to  have  him  brought  under  the  yoke 
of  slavery,  would  be  more  than  I  could  bear.  How  I 
longed  to  have  him  safely  out  of  the  reach  of  its  power ! 


Aunt  Nancy.  217 


XXVIII. 
AUNT  NANCY. 

I  HAVE  mentioned  my  great-aunt,  who  was  a  slave  in 
Dr.  Flint's  family,  and  who  had  been  my  refuge  during 
the  shameful  persecutions  I  suffered  from  him.  This 
aunt  had  been  married  at  twenty  years  of  age  ;  that  is, 
as  far  as  slaves  can  marry.  She  had  the  consent  of 
her  master  and  mistress,  and  a  clergyman  performed 
the  ceremony.  But  it  was  a  mere  form,  without  any 
legal  value.  Her  master  or  mistress  could  annul  it  any 
day  they  pleased.  She  had  always  slept  on  the  floor 
in  the  entry,  near  Mrs.  Flint's  chamber  door,  that  she- 
might  be  within  call.  When  she  was  married,  she  was 
told  she  might  have  the  use  of  a  small  room  in  an  out 
house.  Her  mother  and  her  husband  furnished  it. 
He  was  a  seafaring  man,  and  was  allowed  to  sleep  there 
when  he  was  at  home.  But  on  the  wedding  evening, 
the  bride  was  ordered  to  her  old  post  on  the  entry  floor. 

Mrs.  Flint,  at  that  time,  had  no  children  ;  but  she  was 
expecting  to  be  a  mother,  and  if  she  should  want  a  drink 
of  water  in  the  night,  what  could  she  do  without  her 
slave  to  bring  it  ?  So  my  aunt  was  compelled  to  lie  at 
her  door,  until  one  midnight  she  was  forced  to  leave, 
to  give  premature  birth  to  a  child.  In  a  fortnight  she 
was  required  to  resume  her  place  on  the  entry  floor, 
because  Mrs.  Flint's  babe  needed  her  attentions.  She 
kept  her  station  there  through  summer  and  winter, 
until  she  had  given  premature  birth  to  six  children  ; 

19 


21 8      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

and  all  the  while  she  was  employed  as  night-nurse  to 
Mrs.  Flint's  children.  Finally,  toiling  all  day,  and  be 
ing  deprived  of  rest  at  night,  completely  broke  down 
her  constitution,  and  Dr.  Flint  declared  it  was  impossi 
ble  she  could  ever  become  the  mother  of  a  living  child. 
The  fear  of  losing  so  valuable  a  servant  by  death,  now 
induced  them  to  allow  her  to  sleep  in  her  little  room  in 
the  out-hoiise,  except  when  there  was  sickness  in  the 
family.  She  afterwards  had  two  feeble  babes,  one  of 
whom  died  in  a  few  days,  and  the  other  in  four  weeks. 
I  well  remember  her  patient  sorrow  as  she  held  the  last 
dead  baby  in  her  arms.  "  I  wish  it  could  have  lived," 
she  said ;  "  it  is  not  the  will  of  God  that  any  of  my 
children  should  live.  But  I  will  try  to  be  fit  to  meet 
their  little  spirits  in  heaven." 

Aunt-Naney  was  -housekeeper  and  waiting-maid  in 
Dr.  Flint's  family.  Indeed,  she  was  the  factotum  of 
the  household.  Nothing  went  on  well  without  her. 
She  was  my  mother's  twin  sister,  and,  as  far  as  was  in 
her  power,  she  supplied  a  mother's  place  to  us  orphans. 
I  slept  with  her  all  the  time  I  lived  in  my  old  master's 
house,  and  the  bond  between  us  was  very  strong. 
When  my  friends  tried  to  discourage  me  from  running 
away,  she  always  encouraged  me.  When  they  thought 
I  had  better  return  and  ask  my  master's  pardon,  be 
cause  there  was  no  possibility  of  escape,  she  sent  me 
word  never  to  yield.  She  said  if  I  persevered  I  might, 
perhaps,  gain  the  freedom  of  my  children ;  and 
even  if  I  perished  in  doing  it,  that  was  better  than 
to  leave  them  to  groan  under  the  same  persecutions 
that  had  blighted  my  own  life.  After  I  was  shut  up  in 
my  dark  cell,  she  stole  away,  whenever  she  could,  to 


Aunt  Nancy.  219 

bring  me  the  news  and  say  something  cheering.  Hew 
often  did  I  kneel  down  to  listen  to  her  words  of  conso 
lation,  whispered  through  a  crack!  "  I  am  old,  and 
have  not  long  to  live,"  she  used  to  say ;  "  and  I  could 
die  happy  if  I  could  only  see  you  and  the  children  free. 
You  must  pray  to  God,  Linda,  as  I  do  for  you,  that  he 
will  lead  you  out  of  this  darkness."  I  would  beg  her 
not  to  worry  herself  on  my  account ;  that  there  was  an 
end  of  all  suffering  sooner  or  later,  and  that  whether 
I  lived  in  chains  or  in  freedom,  I  should  always  re 
member  her  as  the  good  friend  who  had  been  the  com 
fort  of  my  life.  A  word  from  her  always  strengthened 
me  ;  and  not  me  only.  The  whole  family  relied  upon 
her  judgment,  and  were  guided  by  her  advice. 

I  had  been  in  my  cell  six  years  when  my  grand 
mother  was  summoned  to  the  bedside  of  this,  her  last 
remaining  daughter.  She  was  very  ill,  and  they  said 
she  would  die.  Grandmother  had  not  entered  Dr. 
Flint's  house  for  several  years.  They  had  treated  her 
cruelly,  but  she  thought  nothing  of  that  now.  She 
was  grateful  for  permission  to  watch  by  the  death-bed 
of  her  child.  They  had  always  been  devoted  to  each 
other  ;  and  now  they  sat  looking  into  each  other's  eyes, 
longing  to  speak  of  the  secret  that  had  weighed  so  much 
on  the  hearts  of  both.  My  aunt  had  been  stricken  with 
paralysis.  She  lived  but  two  days,  and  the  last  day 
she  was  speechless.  Before  she  lost  the  power  of  ut 
terance,  she  told  her  mother  not  to  grieve  if  she  could 
not  speak  to  her ;  that  she  would  try  to  hold  up  her 
hand,  to  let  her  know  that  all  was  well  with  her. 
Even  the  hard-hearted  doctor  was  a  little  softened 
when  he  saw  the  dying  woman  try  to  smile  on  the  aged 


22O      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

mother,  who  was  kneeling  by  her  side.  His  eyes 
moistened  for  a  moment,  as  he  said  she  had  always  been 
a  faithful  servant,  and  they  should  never  be  able  to 
supply  her  place.  Mrs.  Flint  took  to  her  bed,  quite 
overcome  by  the  shock.  While  my  grandmother  sat 
alone  with  the  dead,  the  doctor  came  in,  leading  his 
youngest  son,  who  had  always  been  a  great  pet  with 
aunt  Nancy,  and  was  much  attached  to  her.  "  Mar 
tha,"  said  he,  "  aunt  Nancy  loved  this  child,  and  when 
he  comes  where  you  are,  I  hope  you  will  be  kind  to 
him,  for  her  sake."  She  replied,  "  Your  wife  was  my 
foster-child,  Dr.  Flint,  the  foster-sister  of  my  poor 
Nancy,  and  you  little  know  me  if  you  think  I  can  feel 
any  thing  but  good  will  for  her  children." 

"  I  wish  the  past  could  be  forgotten,  and  that  we 
might  never  think  of  it,"  said  he ;  "  and  that  Linda 
would  come  to  supply  her  aunt's  place.  She  would  be 
worth  more  to  us  than  all  the  money  that  could  be  paid 
for  her.  I  wish  it  for  your  sake  also,  Martha.  Now 
that  Nancy  is  taken  away  from  you,  she  would  be  a 
great  comfort  to  your  old  age." 

He  knew  he  was  touching  a  tender  chord.  Almost 
choking  with  grief,  my  grandmother  replied,  "  It  was 
not  I  that  drove  Linda  away.  My  grandchildren  are 
gone  ;  and  of  my  nine  children  only  one  is  left.  God 
help  me  !  " 

To  me,  the  death  of  this  kind  relative  was  an  inex 
pressible  sorrow.  I  knew  that  she  had  been  slowly 
murdered  ;  and  I  felt  that  my  troubles  had  helped  to 
finish  the  work.  After  I  heard  of  her  illness,  I  listened 
constantly  to  hear  what  news  was  brought  from  the 
great  house ;  and  the  thought  that  I  could  not  go  to 


Aunt  Nancy.  221 

her  made  me  utterly  miserable.  At  last,  as  uncle 
Phillip  came  into  the  house,  I  heard  some  one  inquire, 
"  How  is  she  ? "  and  he  answered,  "  She  is  dead." 
My  little  cell  seemed  whirling  round,  and  I  knew  noth 
ing  more  till  I  opened  my  eyes  and  found  uncle  Phillip 
bending  over  me.  I  had  no  need  to  ask  any  questions. 
He  whispered,  "  Linda,  she  died  happy."  I  could  not 
weep.  My  fixed  gaze  troubled  him.  "  Don't  look 
so,"  he  said.  "  Don't  add  to  my  poor  mother's 
trouble.  Remember  how  much  she  has  to  bear,  and 
that  we  ought  to  do  all  we  can  to  comfort  her."  Ah, 
yes,  that  blessed  old  grandmother,  who  for  seventy- 
three  years  had  borne  the  pelting  storms  of  a  slave- 
mother's  life.  She  did  indeed  need  consolation  ! 

Mrs.  Flint  had  rendered  her  poor  foster-sister  child 
less,  apparently  without  any  compunction  ;  and  with 
cruel  selfishness  had  ruined  her  health  by  years  of  in 
cessant,  unrequited  toil,  and  broken  rest.  But  now  she 
became  very  sentimental.  I  suppose  she  thought  it 
would  be  a  beautiful  illustration  of  the  attachment  ex 
isting  between  slaveholder  and  slave,  if  the  body  of 
her  old  worn-out  servant  was  buried  at  her  feet.  She 
sent  for  the  clergyman  and  asked  if  he  had  any  objec 
tion  to  burying  aunt  Nancy  in  the  doctor's  family 
burial-place.  No  colored  person  had  ever  been  allowed 
interment  in  the  white  people's  burying-ground,  and 
the  minister  knew  that  all  the  deceased  of  our  family 
reposed  together  in  the  old  graveyard  of  the  slaves. 
He  therefore  replied,  "  I  have  no  objection  to  comply 
ing  with  your  wish  ;  but  perhaps  aunt  Nancy's  mother 
may  have  some  choice  as  to  where  her  remains  shall  be 
deposited." 

19* 


222     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

It  had  never  occurred  to  Mrs.  Flint  that  slaves  could 
have  any  feelings.  When  my  grandmother  was  con 
sulted,  she  at  once  said  she  wanted  Nancy  to  lie  with 
all  the  rest  of  her  family,  and  where  her  own  old  body 
would  be  buried.  Mrs.  Flint  graciously  complied  with 
her  wish,  though  she  said  it  was  painful  to  her  to  have 
Nancy  buried  away  from  her.  She  might  have  added 
with  touching  pathos,  "  I  was  so  long  used  to  sleep  with 
her  lying  near  me,  on  the  entry  floor." 

My  uncle  Phillip  asked  permission  to  bury  his  sister 
at  his  own  expense  ;  and  slaveholders  are  always  ready 
to  grant  such  favors  to  slaves  and  their  relatives.  The 
arrangements  were  very  plain,  but  perfectly  respecta 
ble.  She  was  buried  on  the  Sabbath,  and  Mrs.  Flint's 
minister  read  the  funeral  service.  There  was  a  large 
concourse  of  colored  people,  bond  and  free,  and  a  few 
white  persons  who  had  always  been  friendly  to  our 
family.  Dr.  Flint's  carriage  was  in  the  procession ; 
and  when  the  body  was  deposited  in  its  humble  resting 
place,  the  mistress  dropped  a  tear,  and  returned  to 
her  carriage,  probably  thinking  she  had  performed  her 
duty  nobly. 

It  was  talked  of  by  the  slaves  as  a  mighty  grand 
funeral.  Northern  travellers,  passing  through  the  place, 
might  have  described  this  tribute  of  respect  to  the 
humble  dead  as  a  beautiful  feature  in  the  "  patriar 
chal  institution  ; "  a  touching  proof  of  the  attachment 
between  slaveholders  and  their  servants  ;  and  tender 
hearted  Mrs.  Flint  would  have  confirmed  this  impres 
sion,  with  handkerchief  at  her  eyes.  We  could  have 
told  them  a  different  story.  We  could  have  given  them 
a  chapter  of  wrongs  and  sufferings,  that  would  have 


Aunt  Nancy.  223 

touched  their  hearts,  if  they  had  any  hearts  to  feel  for 
the  colored  people.  We  could  have  told  them  how  the 
poor  old  slave-mother  had  toiled,  year  after  year,  to 
earn  eight  hundred  dollars  to  buy  her  sou  Phillip's  right 
to  his  own  earnings  ;  and  how  that  same  Phillip  paid 
the  expenses  of  the  funeral,  which  they  regarded  as  do 
ing  so  much  credit  to  the  master.  We  could  also  have 
told  them  of  a  poor,  blighted  young  creature,  shut  up 
in  a  living  grave  for  years,  to  avoid  the  tortures  that 
would  be  inflicted  on  her,  if  she  ventured  to  come  out 
and  look  on  the  face  of  her  departed  friend. 

All  this,  and  much  more,  I  thought  of,  as  I  sat  at  my 
loophole,  waiting  for  the  family  to  return  from  the 
grave  ;  sometimes  weeping,  sometimes  falling  asleep, 
dreaming  strange  dreams  of  the  dead  and  the  living. 

It  was  sad  to  witness  the  grief  of  my  bereaved  grand 
mother.  She  had  always  been  strong  to  bear,  and  now, 
as  ever,  religious  faith  supported  her.  But  her  dark 
life  had  become  still  darker,  and  age  and  trouble  were 
leaving  deep  traces  on  her  withered  face.  She  had 
four  places  to  knock  for  me  to  come  to  the  trap-door, 
and  each  place  had  a  different  meaning.  She  now 
came  oftener  than  she  had  done,  and  talked  to  me  of 
her  dead  daughter,  while  tears  trickled  slowly  down  her 
farrowed  cheeks.  I  said  all  I  could  to  comfort  her ; 
but  it  was  a  sad  reflection,  that  instead  of  being  able 
to  help  her,  I  was  a  constant  source  of  anxiety  and 
trouble.  The  poor  old  back  was  fitted  to  its  burden. 
It  bent  under  it,  but  did  not  break. 


224     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


XXIX. 

PREPARATIONS  FOR  ESCAPE. 

I  HARDLY  expect  that  the  reader  will  credit  me, 
when  I  affirm  that  I  lived  in  that  little  dismal  hole, 
almost  deprived  of  light  and  air,  and  with  no  space 
to  move  my  limbs,  for  nearly  seven  years.  But  it  is 
a  fact ;  and  to  me  a  sad  one,  even  now ;  for  my  body 
still  suffers  from  the  effects  of  that  long  imprison 
ment,  to  say  nothing  of  my  soul.  Members  of  my 
family,  now  living  in  New  York  and  Boston,  can  tes 
tify  to  the  truth  of  what  I  say. 

Countless  were  the  nights  that  I  sat  late  at  the  little 
loophole  scarcely  large  enough  to  give  me  a  glimpse 
of  one  twinkling  star.  There,  I  heard  the  patrols  and 
slave-hunters  conferring  together  about  the  capture  of 
runaways,  well  knowing  how  rejoiced  they  would  be 
to  catch  me. 

Season  after  season,  year  after  year,  I  peeped  at  my 
children's  faces,  and  heard  their  sweet  voices,  with  a 
heart  yearning  all  the  while  to  say,  "  Your  mother  is 
here."  Sometimes  it  appeared  to  me  as  if  ages  had 
rolled  away  since  I  entered  upon  that  gloomy,  monoto 
nous  existence.  At  times,  I  was  stupefied  and  listless; 
at  other  times  I  became  very  impatient  to  know  when 
these  dark  years  would  end,  and  I  should  again  be 
allowed  to  feel  the  sunshine,  and  breathe  the  pure  air. 

After  Ellen  left  us,  this  feeling  increased.  Mr. 
Sands  had  agreed  that  Benny  might  go  to  the  north 


Preparations  for  Efcape.  225 

whenever  his  uncle  Phillip  could  go  with  him ;  and 
I  was  anxious  to  be  there  also,  to  watch  over  my 
children,  and  protect  them  so  far  as  I  was  able.  More 
over,  I  was  likely  to  be  drowned  out  of  my  den,  if  I 
remained  much  longer ;  for  the  slight  roof  was  getting 
badly  out  of  repair,  and  uncle  Phillip  was  afraid  to  re 
move  the  shingles,  lest  some  one  should  get  a  glimpse 
of  me.  When  storms  occurred  in  the  night,  they 
spread  mats  and  bits  of  carpet,  which  in  the  morning 
appeared  to  have  been  laid  out  to  dry ;  but  to  cover 
the  roof  in  the  daytime  might  have  attracted  atten 
tion.  Consequently,  my  clothes  and  bedding  were 
often  drenched ;  a  process  by  which  the  pains  and 
aches  in  my  cramped  and  stiffened  limbs  were  greatly 
increased.  I  revolved  various  plans  of  escape  in  my 
mind,  which  I  sometimes  imparted  to  my  grandmother, 
when  she  came  to  whisper  with  me  at  the  trap-door. 
The  kind-hearted  old  woman  had  an  intense  sympathy 
for  runaways.  She  had  known  too  much  of  the 
cruelties  inflicted  on  those  who  were  captured.  Her 
memory  always  flew  back  at  once  to  the  sufferings  of  her 
bright  and  handsome  son,  Benjamin,  the  youngest  and 
dearest  of  her  flock.  So,  whenever  I  alluded  to  the 
subject,  she  would  groan  out,  "  0,  don't  think  of  it, 
child.  You'll  break  my  heart."  I  had  no  good  old 
aunt  Nancy  now  to  encourage  me ;  but  my  brother 
William  and  my  children  were  continually  beckoning 
me  to  the  north. 

And  now  I  must  go  back  a  few  months  in  my  story. 
I  have  stated  that  the  first  of  January  was  the  time 
for  selling  slaves,  or  leasing  them  out  to  new  masters. 
If  time  were  counted  by  heart-throbs,  the  poor  slaves 


226      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

might  reckon  years  of  suffering  during  that  festival  so 
joyous  to  the  free.  On  the  New  Year's  day  preceding 
my  aunt's  death,  one  of  niy  friends,  named  Fanny,  was 
to  be  sold  at  auction,  to  pay  her  master's  debts.  My 
thoughts  were  with  her  during  all  the  day,  and  at 
night  I  anxiously  inquired  what  had  been  her  fate.  I 
was  told  that  she  had  been  sold  to  one  master,  and  her 
four  little  girls  to  another  master,  far  distant;  that 
she  had  escaped  from  her  purchaser,  and  was  not  to  be 
found.  Her  mother  was  the  old  Aggie  I  have  spoken 
of.  She  lived  in  a  small  tenement  belonging  to  my 
grandmother,  and  built  on  the  same  lot  with  her  own 
house.  Her  dwelling  was  searched  and  watched,  and 
that  brought  the  patrols  so  near  me  that  I  was  obliged 
to  keep  very  close  in  my  den.  The  hunters  were  some 
how  eluded ;  and  not  long  afterwards  Benny  acci 
dentally  caught  sight  of  Fanny  in  her  mother's  hut. 
He  told  his  grandmother,  who  charged  him  never  to 
speak  of  it,  explaining  to  him  the  frightful  con 
sequences  ;  and  he  never  betrayed  the  trust.  Aggie 
little  dreamed  that  my  grandmother  knew  where  her 
daughter  was  concealed,  and  that  the  stooping  form  of 
her  old  neighbor  was  bending  under  a  similar  burden 
of  anxiety  and  fear ;  but  these  dangerous  secrets  deep 
ened  the  sympathy  between  the  two  old  persecuted 
mothers. 

My  friend  Fanny  and  I  remained  many  weeks  hidden 
within  call  of  each  other ;  but  she  was  unconscious  of 
the  fact.  I  longed  to  have  her  share  my  den,  which 
seemed  a  more  secure  retreat  than  her  own ;  but  I  had 
brought  so  much  trouble  on  my  grandmother,  that  it 
seemed  wrong  to  ask  her  to  incur  greater  risks.  My 


Preparations  for  Efcape.  227 

restlessness  increased.  I  had  lived  too  long  in  bodily 
pain  and  anguish  of  spirit.  Always  I  was  in  dread 
that  by  some  accident,  or  some  contrivance,  slavery 
would  succeed  in  snatching  my  children  from  me.  This 
thought  drove  me  nearly  frantic,  and  I  determined  to 
steer  for  the  North  Star  at  all  hazards.  At  this  crisis, 
Providence  opened  an  unexpected  way  for  me  to  es 
cape.  My  friend  Peter  came  one  evening,  and  asked 
to  speak  with  me.  "  Your  day  has  come,  Linda,"  said 
he.  "  I  have  found  a  chance  for  you  to  go  to  the  Free 
States.  You  have  a  fortnight  to  decide."  The  news 
seemed  too  good  to  be  true  ;  but  Peter  explained  his 
arrangements,  and  told  me  all  that  was  necessary  was 
for  me  to  say  I  would  go.  I  was  going  to  answer  him 
with  a  joyful  yes,  when  the  thought  of  Benny  came 
to  my  mind.  I  told  him  the  temptation  was  exceed 
ingly  strong,  but  I  was  terribly  afraid  of  Dr.  Flint's 
alleged  power  over  my  child,  and  that  I  could  not  go 
and  leave  him  behind.  Peter  remonstrated  earnestly. 
He  said  such  a  good  chance  might  never  occur  again  ; 
that  Benny  was  free,  and  could  be  sent  to  me ;  and 
that  for  the  sake  of  my  children's  welfare  I  ought  not 
to  hesitate  a  moment.  I  told  him  I  would  consult  with 
iiucle  Phillip.  My  uncle  rejoiced  in  the  plan,  and 
bade  me  go  by  all  means.  He  promised,  if  his  life 
was  spared,  that  he  would  either  bring  or  send  my  son 
to  me  as  soon  as  1  reached  a  place  of  safety.  I  re 
solved  to  go,  but  thought  nothing  had  better  be  said  to 
niy  grandmother  till  very  near  the  time  of  departure. 
But  my  uncle  thought  she  would  feel  it  more  keenly 
if  I  left  her  so  suddenly.  "  I  will  reason  with  her," 
said  he,  "  and  convince  her  how  necessary  it  is,  not 


228      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

only  for  your  sake,  but  for  hers  also.  You  cannot  be 
blind  to  the  fact  that  she  is  sinking  under  her  bur 
dens."  I  was  not  blind  to  it.  I  knew  that  my  con 
cealment  was  an  ever-present  source  of  anxiety,  and 
that  the  older  she  grew  the  more  nervously  fearful 
she  was  of  discovery.  My  uncle  talked  with  her,  and 
finally  succeeded  in  persuading  her  that  it  was  abso 
lutely  necessary  for  me  to  seize  the  chance  so  unex 
pectedly  offered. 

The  anticipation  of  being  a  free  woman  proved  al- 
st  too  much  for  my  weak  frame.  The  excitement 
stimulated  me,  and  at  the  same  time  bewildered  me. 
I  made  busy  preparations  for  my  journey,  and  for  my 
son  to  follow  me.  I  resolved  to  have  an  interview  with 
him  before  I  went,  that  I  might  give  him  cautions  and 
advice,  and  tell  him  how  anxiously  I  should  be  waiting 
for  him  at  the  north.  Grandmother  stole  up  to  me  as 
often  as  possible  to  whisper  words  of  counsel.  She 
insisted  upon  my  writing  to  Dr.  Flint,  as  soon  as  I 
arrived  in  the  Free  States,  and  asking  him  to  sell  me  to 
her.  She  said  she  would  sacrifice  her  house,  and  all 
she  had  in  the  world,  for  the  sake  of  having  me  safe 
with  my  children  in  any  part  of  the  world.  If  she 
could  only  live  to  know  that  she  could  die  in  peace. 
I  promised  the  dear  old  faithful  friend  that  I  would 
write  to  her  as  soon  as  I  arrived,  and  put  the  letter  in 
a  safe  way  to  reach  her ;  but  in  my  own  rnind  I  re 
solved  that  not  another  cent  of  her  hard  earnings 
should  be  spent  to  pay  rapacious  slaveholders  for  what 
they  called  their  property.  And  even  if  I  had  not 
been  unwilling  to  buy  what  I  had  already  a  right  to 
possess,  common  humanity  would  have  prevented  me 


Preparations  for  Efcape.  229 

from  accepting  the  generous  offer,  at  the  expense  of 
turning  my  aged  relative  out  of  house  and  home,  when 
she  was  trembling  on  the  brink  of  the  grave. 

I  was  to  escape  in  a  vessel ;  but  I  forbear  to  mention 
any  further  paticulars.  I  was  in  readiness,  but  the 
vessel  was  unexpectedly  detained  several  days.  Mean 
time,  news  came  to  town  of  a  most  horrible  murder 
committed  on  a  fugitive  slave,  named  James.  Charity, 
the  mother  of  this  unfortunate  young  man,  had  been 
an  old  acquaintance  of  ours.  I  have  told  the  shock 
ing  particulars  of  his  death,  in  my  description  of  some 
of  the  neighboring  slaveholders.  My  grandmother, 
always  nervously  sensitive  about  runaways,  was  terribly 
frightened.  She  felt  sure  that  a  similar  fate  awaited 
me,  if  I  did  not  desist  from  my  enterprise.  She  sobbed, 
and  groaned,  and  entreated  me  not  to  go.  Her  exces 
sive  fear  was  somewhat  contagious,  and  my  heart  was 
not  proof  against  her  extreme  agony.  I  was  grievously 
disappointed,  but  I  promised  to  relinquish  my  project. 

When  my  friend  Peter  was  apprised  of  this,  he  was 
both  disappointed  and  vexed.  He  said,  that  judging 
from  our  past  experience,  it  would  be  a  long  time 
before  I  had  such  another  chance  to  throw  away.  I 
told  him  it  need  not  be  thrown  away ;  "that  I  had 
a  friend  concealed  near  by,  who  would  be  glad 
enough  to  take  the  place  that  had  been  provided 
for  me.  I  told  him  about  poor  Fanny,  and  tho 
kind-hearted,  noble  fellow,  who  never  turned  his 
back  upon  any  body  in  distress,  white  or  black,  ex 
pressed  his  readiness  to  help  her.  Aggie  was  much 
surprised  when  she  found  that  we  knew  her  secret. 
She  was  rejoiced  to  hear  of  such  a  chance  for  Fanny, 

20 


230     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

and  arrangements  were  made  for  her  to  go  on  board 
the  vessel  the  next  night.  They  both  supposed  that  I 
had  long  been  at  the  north,  therefore  my  name  was  not 
mentioned  in  the  transaction.  Fanny  was  carried  on 
board  at  the  appointed  time,  and  stowed  away  in 
a  very  small  cabin.  This  accommodation  had  been 
purchased  at  a  price  that  would  pay  for  a  voyage  to 
England.  But  when  one  proposes  to  go  to  fine  old 
England,  they,  stop  to  calculate  whether  they  can  afford 
the  cost  of  the  pleasure  ;  while  in  making  a  bargain  to 
escape  from  slavery,  the  trembling  victim  is  ready  to 
say,  "  Take  all  I  have,  only  don't  betray  me  !  " 

The  next  morning  I  peeped  through  my  loophole, 
and  saw  that  it  was  dark  and  cloudy.  At  night  I  re 
ceived  news  that  the  wind  was  ahead,  and  the  vessel 
had  not  sailed.  I  was  exceedingly  anxious  about 
Fanny,  and  Peter  too,  who  was  running  a  tremendous 
risk  at  my  instigation.  Next  day  the  wind  and  weather 
remained  the  same.  Poor  Fanny  had  been  half  dead 
with  fright  when  they  carried  her  on  board,  and  I  could 
readily  imagine  how  she  must  be  suffering  now. 
Grandmother  came  often  to  my  den,  to  say  how  thank 
ful  she  was  I  did  not  go.  On  the  third  morning  she 
rapped  for  me  to  come  down  to  the  storeroom.  The 
poor  old  sufferer  was  breaking  down  under  her  weight 
of  trouble.  She  was  easily  flurried  now.  I  found  her 
in  a  nervous,  excited  state,  but  I  was  not  aware  that 
she  had  forgotten  to  lock  the  door  behind  her,  as  usual. 
She  was  exceedingly  worried  about  the  detention  of 
the  vessel.  She  was  afraid  all  would  be  discovered, 
and  then  Fanny,  and  Peter,  and  I,  would  all  be  tor 
tured  to  death,  and  Phillip  would  be  utterly  ruined, 


Preparations  for  Efcape.  231 

and  her  house  would  be  torn  down.  Boor  Peter  !  If 
he  should  die  such  a  horrible  death  as  the  poor  slave 
James  had  lately  done,  and  all  for  his  kindness  in  try 
ing  to  help  me,  how  dreadful  it  would  be  for  us  all ! 
Alas,  the  thought  was  familiar  to  me,  and  had  sent 
many  a  sharp  pang  through  my  heart.  I  tried  to  sup 
press  my  own  anxiety,  and  speak  soothingly  to  her. 
She  brought  in  some  allusion  to  aunt  Nancy,  the  dear 
daughter  she  had  recently  buried,  and  then  she  lost  all 
control  of  herself.  As  she  stood  there,  trembling  and 
sobbing,  a  voice  from  the  piazza  called  out,  "  Whar  is 
you,  aunt  Marthy  ?  "  Grandmother  was  startled,  and 
in  her  agitation  opened  the  door,  without  thinking  of 
me.  In  stopped  Jenny,  the  mischievous  housemaid, 
who  had  tried  to  enter  my  room,  when  I  was  concealed 
in  the  house  of  my  white  benefactress.  "  I's  bin  huntin 
ebery  whar  for  you,  aunt  Marthy,"  said  she.  "  My 
missis  wants  you  to  send  her  some  crackers."  I  had 
slunk  down  behind  a  barrel,  which  entirely  screened 
me,  but  I  imagined  that  Jenny  was  looking  directly  at 
the  spot,  and  my  heart  beat  violently.  My  grand 
mother  immediately  thought  what  she  had  done,  and 
went  out  quickly  with  Jenny  to  count  the  crackers 
locking  the  door  after  her.  She  returned  to  me,  in  a 
few  minutes,  the  perfect  picture  of  despair.  "  Poor 
child !  "  she  exclaimed,  "  my  carelessness  has  ruined 
you.  The  boat  ain't  gone  yet.  Get  ready  immedi 
ately,  and  go  with  Fanny.  I  ain't  got  another  word  to 
say  against  it  now ;  for  there's  no  telling  what  may 
happen  this  day." 

Uncle  Phillip  was  sent  for,  and  he  agreed  with  his 
mother  in  thinking  that  Jenny  would  inform  Dr.  Flint 


232     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

in  less  than  twenty-four  hours.  He  advised  getting 
me  on  board  the  boat,  if  possible ;  if  not,  I  had  better 
keep  very  still  in  my  den,  where  they  could  not  find 
me  without  tearing  the  house  down.  He  said  it  would 
not  do  for  him  to  move  in  the  matter,  because  suspicion 
would  be  immediately  excited ;  but  he  promised  to 
communicate  with  Peter.  I  felt  reluctant  to  apply  to 
him  again,  having  implicated  him  too  much  already ; 
but  there  seemed  to  be  no  alternative.  Vexed  as  Peter 
had  been  by  my  indecision,  he  was  true  to  his  generous 
nature,  and  said  at  once  that  he  would  do  his  best  to 
help  me,  trusting  I  should  show  myself  a  stronger 
woman  this  time. 

He  immediately  proceeded  to  the  wharf,  and  found 
that  the  wind  had  shifted,  and  the  vessel  was  slowly 
beating  down  stream.  On  some  pretext  of  urgent 
necessity,  he  offered  two  boatmen  a  dollar  apiece  to 
catch  up  with  her.  He  was  of  lighter  complexion  than 
the  boatmen  he  hired,  and  when  the  captain  saw  them 
coming  so  rapidly,  he  thought  officers  were  pursuing 
his  vessel  in  search  of  the  runaway  slave  he  had  on 
board.  They  hoisted  sails,  but  the  boat  gained  upon 
them,  and  the  indefatigable  Peter  sprang  on  board. 

The  captain  at  once  recognized  him.  Peter  asked 
him  to  go  below,  to  speak  about  a  bad  bill  he  had  given 
him.  When  he  told  his  errand,  the  captain  replied, 
"  Why,  the  woman's  here  already ;  and  I've  put  her 
where  you  or  the  devil  would  have  a  tough  job  to  find 
her." 

"  But  it  is  another  woman  I  want  to  bring,"  said 
Peter.  "  She  is  in  great  distress,  too,  and  you  shall 
be  paid  any  thing  within  reason,  if  you'll  stop  and  take 
her." 


Preparations  for  Efcape.  233 

"  What's  her  name  ?  "  inquired  the  captain. 

"  Linda,"  he  replied. 

"  That's  the  name  of  the  woman  already  here," 
rejoined  the  captain.  "  By  George !  I  believe  you 
mean  to  betray  me." 

"  0 !  "  exclaimed  Peter,  "  God  knows  I  wouldn't 
harm  a  hair  of  your  head.  I  am  too  grateful  to  you. 
But  there  really  is  another  woman  in  great  danger. 
Do  have  the  humanity  to  stop  and  take  her ! " 

After  a  while  they  came  to  an  understanding.  Fanny, 
not  dreaming  I  was  any  where  about  in  that  region, 
had  assumed  my  name,  though  she  called  herself  John- 
so*n.  "  Linda  is  a  common  name,"  said  Peter,  "  and 
the  woman  I  want  to  bring  is  Linda  Brent." 

The  captain  agreed  to  wait  at  a  certain  place  till 
evening,  being  handsomely  paid  for  his  detention. 

Of  course,  the  day  was  an  anxious  one  for  us  all. 
But  we  concluded  that  if  Jenny  had  seen  me,  she 
would  be  too  wise  to  let  her  mistress  know  of  it ;  and 
that  she  probably  would  not  get  a  chance  to  see  Dr. 
Flint's  family  till  evening,  for  I  knew  very  well  what 
were  the  rules  in  that  household.  I  afterwards  be 
lieved  that  she  did  not  see  me ;  for  nothing  ever  came 
of  it,  and  she  was  one  of  those  base  characters  that 
wo'uld  have  jumped  to  betray  a  suffering  fellow  being 
for  the  sake  of  thirty  pieces  of  silver. 

I  made  all  my  arrangements  to  go  on  board  as  soon 
as  it  was  dusk.  The  intervening  time  I  resolved  to 
spend  with  my  son.  I  had  not  spoken  to  him  for  seven 
yjjars,  though  I  had  been  under  the  same  roof,  and 
seen  him  every  day,  when  I  was  well  enough  to  sit  at 
the  loophole.  I  did  not  dare  to  venture  beyond  the 

20* 


234      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

storeroom ;  so  they  brought  him  there,  and  locked  us 
up  together,  in  a  place  concealed  from  the  piazza  door. 
It  was  an  agitating  interview  for  both  of  us.  After  we 
had  talked  and  wept  together  for  a  little  while,  he  said, 
"  Mother,  I'm  glad  you're  going  away.  I  wish  I  could 
go  with  you.  I  knew  you  was  here  ;  and  I  have  been 
so  afraid  they  would  come  and  catch  you ! " 

I  was  greatly  surprised,  and  asked  him  how  he  had 
found  it  out. 

He  replied,  "  I  was  standing  under  the  eaves,  one 
day,  before  Ellen  went  away,  and  I  heard  somebody 
cough  up  over  the  wood  shed.  I  don't  know  what 
made  me  think  it  was  you,  but  I  did  think  so.  •  I 
missed  Ellen,  the  night  before  she  went  away;  and 
grandmother  brought  her  back  into  the  room  in  the 
night ;  and  "I  thought  maybe  she'd  been  to  see  you,  be 
fore  she  went,  for  I  heard  grandmother  whisper  to  her, 
1  Now  go  to  sleep  ;  and  remember  never  to  tell.'  " 

I  asked  him  if  he  ever  mentioned  his  suspicions  to 
his  sister.  He  said  he  never  did ;  but  after  he  heard 
the  cough,  if  he  saw  her  playing  with  other  children 
on  that  side  of  the  house,  he  always  tried  to  coax  her 
round  to  the  other  side,  for  fear  they  would  hear  me 
cough,  too.  He  said  he  had  kept  a  close  lookout  for 
Dr.  Flint,  and  if  he  saw  him  speak  to  a  constable,  or 
a  patrol,  he  always  told  grandmother.  I  now  recol 
lected  that  I  had  seen  him  manifest  uneasiness,  when 
people  were  on  that  side  of  the  house,  and  I  had  at 
the  time  been  puzzled  to  conjecture  a  motive  for  his 
actions.  Such  prudence  may  seem  extraordinary  in  a 
boy  of  twelve  years,  but  slaves,  being  surrounded  by 
mysteries,  deceptions,  and  dangers,  early  learn  to  be 


Preparations  for  Efcape.  235 

suspicious  and  watchful,  and  prematurely  cautious  and 
cunning.  He  had  never  asked  a  question  of  grand 
mother,  or  uncle  Phillip,  and  I  had  often  heard  him 
chime  in  with  other  children,  when  they  spoke  of  my 
being  at  the  north. 

I  told  him  I  was  now  really  going  to  the  Free  States, 
and  if  he  was  a  good,  honest  boy,  and  a  loving  child  to 
his  dear  old  grandmother,  the  Lord  would  bless  him, 
and  bring  him  to  me,  and  we  and  Ellen  would  live 
together.  He  began  to  tell  me  that  grandmother  had 
not  eaten  any  thing  all  day.  While  he  was  speaking, 
the  door  was  unlocked,  and  she  came  in  with  a  small 
bag  of  money,  which  she  wanted  me  to  take.  I  begged 
her  to  keep  a  part  of  it,  at  least,  to  pay  for  Benny's 
being  sent  to  the  north ;  but  she  insisted,  while  her 
tears  were  falling  fast,  that  I  should  take  the  whole. 
"  You  may  be  sick  among  strangers,"  she  said,  "  and 
they  would  send  you  to  the  poorhouse  to  die."  Ah, 
that  good  grandmother ! 

For  the  last  time  I  went  up  to  my  nook.  Its  deso 
late  appearance  no  longer  chilled  me,  for  the  light  of 
hope  had  risen  in  my  soul.  Yet,  even  with  the  blessed 
prospect  of  freedom  before  me,  I  felt  very  sad  at  leav 
ing  forever  that  old  homestead,  where  I  had  been  shel 
tered  so  long  by  the  dear  old  grandmother ;  where  I 
had  dreamed  my  first  young  dream  of  love ;  and  where, 
after  that  had  faded  away,  my  children  came  to  twine 
themselves  so  closely  round  my  desolate  heart.  As 
the  hour  approached  for  me  to  leave,  I  again  descended 
to  the  storeroom.  My  grandmother  and  Benny  were 
there.''  She  took  me  by  tbc  hand,  and  said,  "  Linda, 
let  us  pray."  We  knell  down  together,  with  my  child 


236      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

pressed  to  my  heart,  and  my  other  arm  round  the  faith 
ful,  loving  old  friend  I  was  about  to  leave  forever. 
On  no  other  occasion  has  it  ever  been  my  lot  to  listen 
to  so  fervent  a  supplication  for  mercy  and  protection. 
It  thrilled  through  my  heart,  and  inspired  me  with  trust 
in  God. 

Peter  was  waiting  for  me  in  the  street.  I  was  soon 
by  his  side,  faint  in  body,  but  strong  of  purpose.  I 
did  not  look  back  upon  the  old  place,  though  I  felt 
that  I  should  never  see  it  again. 


Northward  Bound.  237 


XXX. 

NORTHWARD    BOUND. 

I  NEVER  could  tell  how  we  reached  the  wharf.  My 
brain  was  all  of  a  whirl,  and  my  limbs  tottered  under 
me.  At  an  appointed  place  we  met  my  uncle  Phillip, 
who  had  started  before  us  on  a  different  route,  that  he 
might  reach  the  wharf  first,  and  give  us  timely  warn 
ing  if  there  was  any  danger.  A  row-boat  was  in  readi 
ness.  As  I  was  about  to  step  in,  I  felt  something  pull 
me  gently,  and  turning  round  I  saw  Benny,  looking 
pale  and  anxious.  He  whispered  in  my  ear,  "  I've  been 
peeping  into  the  doctor's  window,  and  he's  at  home. 
Good  by,  mother.  Don't  cry  ;  I'll  come."  He  has 
tened  away.  I  clasped  the  hand  of  my  good  uncle,  to 
whom  I  owed  so.  much,  and  of  Peter,  the  brave,  gener 
ous  friend  who  had  volunteered  to  run  such  terrible 
risks  to  secure  my  safety.  To  this  day  I  remember 
how  his  bright  face  beamed  with  joy,  when  he  told  me 
he  had  discovered  a  safe  method  for  me  to  escape.  Yet 
that  intelligent,  enterprising,  noble-hearted  man  was  a 
chattel !  liable,  by  the  laws  of  a  country  that  calls 
itself  civilized,  to  be  sold  with  horses  and  pigs !  "We 
parted  in  silence.  Our  hearts  were  all  too  full  for 
words  ! 

Swiftly  the  boat  glided  over  the  water.  After  a 
while,  one  of  tile  sailors  said,  "  Don't  be  down-hearted, 
madam.  We  will  take  you  safely  to  your  husband,  in 
."  At  first  I  could  not  imagine  what  he  meant ; 


238     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

but  I  had  presence  of  mind  to  think  that  it  probably 
referred  to  something  the  captain  had  told  him ;  so  I 
thanked  him,  and  said  I  hoped  we  should  have  pleasant 
weather. 

When  I  entered  the  vessel  the  captain  came  forward 
to  meet  me.  He  was  an  elderly  man,  with  a  pleasant 
countenance.  He  showed  me  to  a  little  box  of  a  cabin, 
where  sat  my  friend  Fanny.  She  started  as  if  she  had 
seen  a  spectre.  She  gazed  on  me  in  utter  astonishment, 
and  exclaimed,  "  Linda,  can  this  be  you  ?  or  is  it  your 
ghost?"  When  we  were  locked  in  each  other's  arms, 
my  overwrought  feelings  could  no  longer  be  restrained. 
My  sobs  reached  the  ears  of  the  captain,  who  came  and 
very  kindly  reminded  us,  that  for  his  safety,  as  well  as 
our  own,  it  would  be  prudent  for  iis  not  to  attract  any 
attention.  He  said  that  when  there  was  a  sail  in  sight 
he  wished  us  to  keep  below  ;  but  at  other  times,  he  had 
no  objection  to  our  being  on  deck.  He  assured  us  that 
he  would  keep  a  good  lookout,  and  if  we  acted  pru 
dently,  he  thought  we  should  be  in  no  danger.  He 
had  represented  us  as  women  going  to  meet  our  hus 
bands  in .  We  thanked  him,  and  promised  to 

observe  carefully  all  the  directions  he  gave  us. 

Fanny  and  I  now  talked  by  ourselves,  low  and  qui 
etly,  in  our  little  cabin.  She  told  me  of  the  sufferings 
she  had  gone  through  in  making  her  escape,  and  of  her 
terrors  while  she  was  concealed  in  her  mother's  house. 
Above  all,  she  dwelt  on  the  agony  of  separation  from 
all  her  children  on  that  dreadful  auction  day.  She 
could  scarcely  credit  me,  when  I  told  her  of  the  place 
where  I  had  passed  nearly  seven  years:  "  We  have  the 
same  sorrows,"  said  I.  "No,"  replied  she,  "you  are 


Northward  Bound.  239 

going  to  see  your  children  soon,  and  there  is  no  hope 
that  I  shall  ever  even  hear  from  mine." 

The  vessel  was  soon  under  way,  but  we  made  slow 
progress.  The  wind  was  against  us.  I  should  not 
have  cared  for  this,  if  we  had  been  out  of  sight  of  the 
town  ;  but  until  there  were  miles  of  water  between  us 
and  our  enemies,  we  were  filled  with  constant  appre 
hensions  that  the  constables  would  come  on  board. 
Neither  could  I  feel  quite  at  ease  with  the  captain  and 
his  men.  I  was  an  entire  stranger  to  that  class  of  peo 
ple,  and  I  had  heard  that  sailors  were  rough,  and  some 
times  cruel.  We  were  so  completely  in  their  power, 
that  if  they  were  bad  men,  our  situation  would  be 
dreadful.  Now  that  the  captain  was  paid  for  our  pas 
sage,  might  he  not  be  tempted  to  make  more  money  by 
giving  us  up  to  those  who  claimed  us  as  property  ?  I 
was  naturally  of  a  confiding  disposition,  but  slavery 
had  made  me  suspicious  of  every  body.  Fanny  did  not 
share  my  distrust  of  the  captain  or  his  men.  She  said 
she  was  afraid  at  first,  hut  she  had  been  on  board  three 
days  while  the  vessel  lay  in  the  dock,  and  nobody  had 
betrayed  her,  or  treated  her  otherwise  than  kindly. 

The  captain  soon  came  to  advise  us  to  go  on  deck 
for  fresh  air.  His  friendly  and  respectful  manner, 
combined  with  Fanny's  testimony,  reassured  me,  and 
we  went  with  him.  He  placed  us  in  a  comfortable  seat, 
and  occasionally  entered  into  conversation.  He  told  us 
he  was  a  Southerner  by  birth,  and  had  spent  the  greater 
part  of  his  life  in  the  Slave  States,  and  that  he  had  re 
cently  lost  a  brother  who  traded  in  slaves.  "  But," 
said  he,  "  it  is  a  pitiable  and  degrading  business,  and  I 
always  felt  ashamed  to  acknowledge  my  brother  in  con- 


240      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

nection  with  it."  As  we  passed  Snaky  Swamp,  he 
pointed  to  it,  and  said,  "  There  is  a  slave  territory  that 
defies  all  the  laws."  I  thought  of  the  terrible  days  I 
had  spent  there,  and  though  it  was  not  called  Dismal 
Swamp,  it  made  me  feel  very  dismal  as  I  looked  at  it. 

I  shall  never  forget  that  night.  The  balmy  air  of 
spring  was  so  refreshing !  And  how  shall  I  describe 
my  sensations  when  we  were  fairly  sailing  on  Chesa 
peake  Bay  ?  0,  the  beautiful  sunshine  !  the  exhilarat 
ing  breeze  !  and  I  could  enjoy  them  without  fear  or 
restraint.  I  had  never  realized  what  grand  things  air 
and  sunlight  are  till  I  had  been  deprived  of  thenuK 

Ten  days  after  we  left  land  we  were  approaching 
Philadelphia.  The  captain  said  we  should  arrive  there 
in  the  night,  hut  he  thought  we  had  better  wait  till 
morning,  and  go  on  shore  in  broad  daylight,  as  the  best 
way  to  avoid  suspicion. 

I  replied,  "  You  know  best.  But  will  you  stay  on 
board  and  protect  us  ?  " 

He  saw  that  I  was  suspicious,  and  he  said  he  was 
sorry,  now  that  he  had  brought  us  to  the  end  of  our 
voyage,  to  find  I  had  so  little  confidence  in  him.  Ah, 
if  he  had  ever  been  a  slave  he  would  have  known  how 
difficult  it  was  to  trust  a  white  man.  He  assured  us 
that  we  might  sleep  through  the  night  without  fear ; 
that  he  would  take  care  we  were  not  left  unprotected. 
,Be  it  said  to  the  honor  of  this  captain,  Southerner  as 
he  was,  that  if  Fanny  and  I  had  been  white  ladies,  and 
our  passage  lawfully  engaged,  he  could  not  have  treated 
us  more  respectfully.  My  intelligent  friend,  Peter,  had 
rightly  estimated  the  character  of  the  man  to  whose 
honor  he  had  intrusted  us. 


Northward  Bound.  241 

The  next  morning  I  was  on  deck  as  soon  as  the  day 
dawned.  I  called  Fanny  to  see  the  sun  rise,  for  the 
first  time  in  our  lives,  on  free  soil ;  for  such  I  then  be 
lieved  it  to  be.  We  watched  the  reddening  sky,  and 
saw  the  great  orb  come  up  slowly  out  of  the  water,  as 
it  seemed.  Soon  the  waves  began  to  sparkle,  and 
every  thing  caught  the  beautiful  glow.  Before  us  lay 
the  city  of  strangers.  "We  looked  at  each  other,  and 
the  eyes  of  both  were  moistened  with  tears.  We  had 
escaped  from  slavery,  and  we  supposed  ourselves  to  be 
safe  from  the  hunters.  But  we  were  alone  in  the  world, 
and  we  had  left  dear  ties  behind  us ;  ties  cruelly  sun 
dered  by  the  demon  Slavery. 

21 


242      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


XXXI. 

INCIDENTS  IN  PHILADELPHIA. 

I  HAD  heard  that  the  poor  slave  had  many  friends  at 
the  north.  I  trusted  we  should  find  some  of  them. 
Meantime,  we  would  take  it  for  granted  that  all  were 
friends,  till  they  proved  to  the  contrary.  I  sought  out 
the  kind  captain,  thanked  him  for  his  attentions,  and 
told  him  I  should  never  cease  to  be  grateful  for  the 
service  he  had  rendered  us.  I  gave  him  a  message  to 
the  friends  I  had  left  at  home,  and  he  promised  to 
deliver  it.  We  were  placed  in  a  row-boat,  and  in  about 
fifteen  minutes  were  landed  on  a  wood  wharf  in  Phila 
delphia.  As  I  stood  looking  round,  the  friendly  cap 
tain  touched  me  on  the  shoulder,  and  said,  "  There  is 
a  respectable-looking  colored  man  behind  you.  I  will 
speak  to  him  about  the  New  York  trains,  and  tell  him 
you  wish  to  go  directly  on."  I  thanked  him,  and  asked 
him  to  direct  me  to  some  shops  where  I  could  buy 
gloves  and  veils.  He  did  so,  and  said  he  would  talk 
with  the  colored  man  till  I  returned.  I  made  what 
haste  I  could.  Constant  exercise  on  board  the  vessel, 
and  frequent  rubbing  with  salt  water,  had  nearly  re 
stored  the  use  of  my  limbs.  The  noise  of  the  great 
city  confused  me,  but  I  found  the  shops,  and  bought 
some  double  veils  and  gloves  for  Fanny  and  myself. 
The  shopman  told  me  they  were  so  many  levies.  I 
had  never  heard  the  word  before,  but  I  did  not  tell 
him  so.  I  thought  if  he  knew  I  was  a  stranger  he 


Incidents  in  Philadelphia.  243 

might  ask  inc  where  I  came  from.  I  gave  him  a  gold 
piece,  and  when  he  returned  the  change,  I  counted  it, 
and  found  out  how  much  a  levy  was.  I  made  my  way 
back  to  the  wharf,  where  the  captain  introduced  me  to 
the  colored  imtn,  as  the  Rev.  Jeremiah  Durham,  min 
ister  of  Bethel  church.  He  took  me  by  the  hand,  as 
if  I  had  been  an  old  friend.  He  told  us  we  were  too 
late  for  the  morning  cars  to  New  York,  and  must  wait 
until  the  evening,  or  the  next  morning.  He  invited 
me  to  go  home  with  him,  assuring  me  that  his  wife 
would  give  me  a  cordial  welcome ;  and  for  my  friend  he 
would  provide  a  home  with  one  of  his  neighbors.  I 
thanked  him  for  so  much  kindness  to  strangers,  and 
told  him  if  I  must  be  detained,  I  should  like  to  hunt 
up  some  people  who  formerly  went  from  our  part  of 
the  country.  Mr.  Durham  insisted  that  I  should  dine 
with  him,  and  then  he  would  assist  me  in  finding  my 
friends.  The  sailors  came  to  bid  us  good  by.  I  shook 
their  hardy  hands,  with  tears  in  my  eyes.  They  had 
all  been  kind  to  us,  and  they  had  rendered  us  a  greater 
service  than  they  could  possibly  conceive  of. 

I  had  never  seen  so  large  a  city,  or  been  in  contact 
with  so  many  people  in  the  streets.  It  seemed  as  if 
those  who  passed  looked  at  us  with  an  expression  of 
curiosity.  My  face  was  so  blistered  and  peeled,  by 
sitting  on  deck,  in  wind  and  sunshine,  that  I  thought 
they  could  not  easily  decide  to  what  nation  I  belonged. 

Mrs.  Durham  met  me  with  a  kindly  welcome,  with 
out  asking  any  questions.  I  was  tired,  and  her  friendly 
manner  was  a  sweet  refreshment.  God  bless  her !  I 
was  sure  that  she  had  comforted  other  weary  hearts, 
before  I  received  her  sympathy.  She  was  surrounded 


i/l/l      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

by  her  husband  and  children,  in  a  home  made  sacred 
by  protecting  laws.  I  thought  of  my  own  children, 
and  sighed. 

After  dinner  Mr.  Durham  went  with  me  in  quest  of 
the  friends  I  had  spoken  of.  They  went  from  my  na 
tive  town,  and  I  anticipated  much  pleasure  in  looking 
011  familiar  faces.  They  were  not  at  home,*  and  we 
retraced  our  steps  through  streets  delightfully  clean. 
On  the  way,  Mr.  Durham  observed  that  I  had  spoken 
to  him  of  a  daughter  I  expected  to  meet ;  that  he  was 
surprised,  for  I  looked  so  young  he  had  taken  me  for 
a  single  woman.  He  was  approaching  a  subject  on 
which  I  was  extremely  sensitive.  He  would  ask  about 
iny  husband  next,  I  thought,  and  if  I  answered  him 
truly,  what  would  he  think  of  me  ?  I  told  him  I  had 
two  children,  one  in  New  York  the  other  at  the  south. 
He  asked  some  further  questions,  and  I  frankly  told 
him  some  of  the  most  important  evonts  of  my  life.  It 
was  painful  for  me  to  do  it ;  but  I  would  not  deceive 
him.  If  he  was  desirous  of  being  my  friend,  I  thought 
he  ought  to  know  how  far  I  was  worthy  of  it.  "  Ex 
cuse  me,  if  I  have  tried  your  feelings,"  said  he.  "  I 
did  not  question  you  from  idle  curiosity.  I  wanted  to 
understand  your  situation,  in  order  to  know  whether 
I  could  be  of  any  service  to  you,  or  your  little  girl. 
Your  straight-forward  answers  do  you  credit;  but 
don't  answer  every  body  so  openly.  It  might  give 
some  heartless  people  a  pretext  for  treating  you  with 
contempt." 

That  word  contempt  burned  me  like  coals  of  fire.  I 
replied,  "  God  alone  knows  how  I  have  suffered ;  and 
He,  I  trust,  will  forgive  me.  If  I  am  permitted  to 


Incidents  in  Philadelphia.  245" 

have  my  children,  I  intend  to  be  a  good  mother,  and 
to  live  in  such  a  manner  that  people  cannot  treat  me 
with  contempt." 

"  I  respect  your  sentiments,"  said  he.  "  Place  your 
trust  in  God,  and  be  governed  by  good  principles,  and 
you  will  not  fail  to  find  friends." 

When  we  reached  home,  I  went  to  my  room,  glad  to 
shut  out  the  world  for  a  while.  The  words  he  had 
spoken  made  an  indelible  impression  upon  me.  They 
brought  up  great  shadows  from  the  mournful  past.  In 
the  midst  of  my  meditations  I  was  startled  by  a  knock 
at  the  door.  Mrs.  Durham  entered,  her  face  all  beam 
ing  with  kindness,  to  say  that  there  was  an  anti-slavery 
friend  down  stairs,  who  would  like  to  see  me.  I  over 
came  my  dread  of  encountering  strangers,  and  went 
with  her.  Many  questions  were  asked  concerning  my 
experiences,  and  my  escape  from  slavery ;  but  I  ob 
served  how  careful  they  all  were  not  to  say  any  thing 
that  might  wound  my  feelings.  How  gratifying  this 
was,  can  be  fully  understood  only  by  those  who  have 
been  accustomed  to  be  treated  as  if  they  were  not  in 
cluded  within  the  pale  of  human  beings.  The  anti- 
slavery  friend  had  come  to  inquire  into  my  plans,  and 
to  offer  assistance,  if  needed.  Fanny  was  comfortably 
established,  for  the  present,  with  a  friend  of  Mr.  Dur 
ham.  The  Anti-Slavery  Society  agreed  to  pay  her  ex 
penses  to  New  York.  The  same  was  offered  to  me, 
but  I  declined  to  accept  it;  telling  them  that  my  grand 
mother  had  given  me  sufficient  to  pay  my  expenses  to 
the  end  of  my  journey.  We  were  urged  to  remain  in 
Philadelphia  a  few  days,  until  some  suitable  escort 
could  be  found  for  us.  1  gladly  accepted  the  proposi- 
21* 


246      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

tion,  for  I  had  a  dread  of  meeting  slaveholders,  and 
some  dread  also  of  railroads.  I  had  never  entered  a 
railroad  car  in  my  life,  and  it  seemed  to  me  quite  an 
important  event. 

That  night  I  sought  my  pillow  with  feelings  I  had 
never  carried  to  it  before.  I  verily  believed  myself  to 
be  a  free  woman.  I  was  wakeful  for  a  long  time,  and 
I  had  no  sooner  fallen  asleep,  than  I  was  roused  by 
fire-bells.  I  jumped  up,  and  hurried  on  my  clothes. 
Where  I  came  from,  every  body  hastened  to  dress 
themselves  on  such  occasions.  The  white  people 
thought  a  great  fire  might  be  used  as  a  good  oppor 
tunity  for  insurrection,  and  that  it  was  best  to  be  in 
readiness ;  and  the  colored  people  were  ordered  out  to 
labor  in  extinguishing  the  flames.  There  was  but  one 
engine  in  our  town,  and  colored  women  and  children 
were  often  required  to  drag  it  to  the  river's  edge,  and 
fill  it.  Mrs.  Durham's  daughter  slept  in  the  same 
room  with  ine,  and  seeing  that  she  slept  through  all  the 
din,  I  thought  it  was  my  duty  to  wake  her.  "  What's 
the  matter  ?  "  said  she,  rubbing  her  eyes. 

"  They're  screaming  fire  in  the  streets,  and  the  bells 
are  ringing,"  I  replied. 

"  What  of  that  ?  "  said  she,  drowsily.  "  We  are 
used  to  it.  We  never  get  up,  without  the  fire  is  very 
near.  What  good  would  it  do  ?  " 

I  was  quite  surprised  that  it  was  not  necessary  for 
us  to  go  and  help  fill  the  engine.  I  was  an  ignorant 
child,  just  beginning  to  learn  how  things  went  on  in 
great  cities. 

At  daylight,  I  heard  women  crying  fresh  fish,  ber 
ries,  radishes,  and  various  other  things.  All  this  was 


Incidents  in  Philadelphia.  247 

new  to  me.  I  dressed  myself  at  an  early  hour,  and 
sat  at  the  window  to  watch  that  unknown  tide  of  life. 
Philadelphia  seemed  to  me  a  wonderfully  great  place. 
At  the  breakfast  table,  my  idea  of  going  out  to  drag 
the  engine  was  laughed  over,  and  I  joined  in  the  mirth. 

I  went  to  see  Fanny,  and  found  her  so  well  con 
tented  among  her  new  friends  that  she  was  in  no  haste 
to  leave.  I  was  also  very  happy  with  my  kind  hostess. 
She  had  had  advantages  for  education,  and  was  vastly 
my  superior.  Every  day,  almost  every  hour,  I  was 
adding  to  my  little  stock  of  knowledge.  She  took  me 
out  to  see  the  city  as  much  as  she  deemed  prudent. 
One  day  she  took  me  to  an  artist's  room,  and  showed 
me  the  portraits  of  some  of  her  children.  I  had  never 
seen  any  paintings  of  colored  people  before,  and  they 
seemed  to  me  beautiful. 

At  the  end  of  five  days,  one  of  Mrs.  Durham's  friends 
offered  to  accompany  us  to  New  York  the  following 
morning.  As  I  held  the  hand  of  my  good  hostess  in 
a  parting  clasp,  I  longed  to  know  whether  her  husband 
had  repeated  to  her  what  I  had  told  him.  I  supposed 
he  had,  but  she  never  made  any  allusion  to  it.  I  pre 
sume  it  was  the  delicate  silence  of  womanly  sympathy. 

"When  Mr.  Durham  handed  us  our  tickets,  he  said, 
"  I  am  afraid  you  will  have  a  disagreeable  ride  ;  but  I 
could  not  procure  tickets  for  the  first  class  cars." 

Supposing  I  had  not  given  him  money  enough,  I 
offered  more.  "  0,  no,"  said  he,  "  they  could  not  be 
had  for  any  money.  They  don't  allow  colored  people 
to  go  in  the  first-class  cars." 

This  was  the  first  chill  to  my  enthusiasm  about  the 
Free  States.  Colored  people  were  allowed  to  ride  in  a 


248      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl.     • 

filthy  box,  behind  white  people,  at  the  south,  but  there 
they  were  not  required  to  pay  for  the  privilege.     It 
made  me  sad  to  find  how  the  north  aped  the  customs 
f  slavery. 

We  were  stowed  away  in  a  large,  rough  car,  with 
windows  on  each  side,  too  high  for  us  to  look  out  with 
out  standing  up.  It  was  crowded  with  people,  appar 
ently  of  all  nations.  There  were  plenty  of  beds  and 
cradles,  containing  screaming  and  kicking  babies. 
Every  other  man  had  a  cigar  or  pipe  in  his  mouth, 
and  jugs  of  whiskey  were  handed  round  freely.  The 
fumes  of  the  whiskey  and  the  dense  tobacco  smoke 
were  sickening  to  my  senses,  and  my  mind  was  equally 
nauseated  by  the  coarse  jokes  and  ribald  songs  around 
me.  It  was  a  very  disagreeable  ride.  Since  that  time 
there  has  been  some  improvement  in  these  matters. 


The  Meeting  of  Mother  and  Daughter.    249 


XXXII. 

THE  MEETING  OF  MOTHER  AND  DAUGHTER. 

WHEN  we  arrived  in  New  York,  I  was  half  crazed 
by  the  crowd  of  coachmen  calling  out,  "  Carriage, 
ma'am  ? "  We  bargained  with  one  to  take  us  to 
Sullivan  Street  for  twelve  shillings.  A  burly  Irishman 
stepped  up  and  said,  "  I'll  tak'  ye  for  sax  shillings." 
The  reduction  of  half  the  price  was  an  object  to  us, 
and  we  asked  if  he  could  take  us  right  away.  "  Troth 
an  I  will,  ladies,"  he  replied.  I  noticed  that  the  hack- 
men  smiled  at  each  other,  and  I  inquired  whether  his 
conveyance  was  decent.  "  Yes,  it's  dacent  it  is,  marra. 
Devil  a  bit  would  I  be  after  takin'  ladies  in  a  cab  that 
was  not  dacent."  We  gave  him  our  checks.  He  went 
for  the  baggage,  and  soon  reappeared,  saying,  "  This 
way,  if  you  plase,  ladies."  We  followed,  and  found 
our  trunks  on  a  truck,  and  we  were  invited  to  take 
our  seats  on  them.  We  told  him  that  was  not  what  we 
bargained  for,  and  he  must  take  the  trunks  off.  He 
swore  they  should  not  be  touched  till  we  had  paid  him 
six  shillings.  In  our  situation  it  was  not  prudent  to 
attract  attention,  and  I  was  about  to  pay  him  what  he 
required,  when  a  man  near  by  shook  his  head  for  me 
not  to  do  it.  After  a  great  ado  we  got  rid  of  the 
Irishman,  and  had  our  trunks  fastened  on  a  hack. 
We  had  been  recommended  to  a  boarding-house  in 
Sullivan  Street,  and  thither  we  drove.  There  Fanny 
and  I  separated.  The  Anti-Slavery  Society  provided  a 


250      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

home  for  her,  and  I  afterwards  heard  of  her  in  pros 
perous  circumstances.  I  sent  for  an  old  friend  from 
my  part  of  the  country,  who  had  for  some  time  been 
doing  business  in  New  York.  He  came  immediately. 
I  told  him  I  wanted  to  go  to  my  daughter,  and  asked 
him  to  aid  me  in  procuring  an  interview. 

I  cautioned  him  not  to  let  it  be  known  to  the  family 
that  I  had  just  arrived  from  the  south,  because  they 
supposed  I  had  been  at  the  north  seven  years.  He 
told  me  there  was  a  colored  woman  in  Brooklyn  who 
came  from  the  same  town  I  did,  and  I  had  better  go 
to  her  house,  and  have  my  daughter  meet  me  there. 
I  accepted  the  proposition  thankfully,  and  he  agreed 
to  escort  me  to  Brooklyn.  "We  crossed  Fulton  ferry, 
went  up  Myrtle  Avenue,  and  stopped  at  the  house  he 
designated.  I  was  just  about  to  enter,  when  two  girls 
passed.  My  friend  called  my  attention  to  them.  I 
turned,  and  recognized  in  the  eldest,  Sarah,  the 
daughter  of  a  woman  who  used  to  live  with  my  grand 
mother,  but  who  had  left  the  south  years  ago.  Sur 
prised  and  rejoiced  at  this  unexpected  meeting,  I 
threw  my  arms  round  her,  and  inquired  concerning 
her  mother. 

"  You  take  no  notice  of  the  other  girl,"  said  my 
friend.  I  turned,  and  there  stood  my  Ellen !  I  pressed 
her  to  my  heart,  then  held  her  away  from  me  to  take 
a  look  at  her.  She  had  changed  a  good  deal  in  the 
two  years  since  I  parted  from  her.  Signs  of  neglect 
could  be  discerned  by  eyes  less  observing  than  a 
mother's.  My  friend  invited  us  all  to  go  into  the 
house  ;  but  Ellen  said  she  had  been  sent  of  an  errand, 
which  she  would  do  as  quickly  as  possible,  and  go 


The  Meeting  of  Mother  and  Daughter.     251 

homo  and  ask  Mrs.  Hobbs  to  lot  her  come  and 
see  me.  It  was  agreed  that  I  should  send  for  her  the 
next  day.  Her  companion,  Sarah,  hastened  to  tell  her 
mother  of  iny  arrival.  When  I  entered  the  house,  I 
found  the  mistress  of  it  absent,  and  I  waited  for  her 
return.  Before  I  saw  her,  I  heard  her  saying,  "  Where 
is  Linda  Brent?  I  used  to  know  her  father  and 
mother."  Soon  Sarah  came  with  her  mother.  So 
there  was  quite  a  company  of  us,  all  from  my  grand 
mother's  neighborhood.  These  friends  gathered  round 
me  and  questioned  me  eagerly.  They  laughed,  they 
cried,  and  they  shouted.  They  thanked  God  that  I 
had  got  away  from  my  persecutors  and  was  safe  on 
Long  Island.  It  was  a  day  of  great  excitement. 
How  different  from  the  silent  days  I  had  passed  in 
my  dreary  den ! 

The  next  morning  was  Sunday.  My  first  waking 
thoughts  were  occupied  with  the  note  I  was  to  send  to 
Mrs.  Hobbs,  the  lady  with  whom  Ellen  lived.  That  I 
had  recently  come  into  that  vicinity  was  evident; 
otherwise  I  should  have  sooner  inquired  for  my 
daughter.  It  would  not  do  to  let  them  know  I  had 
just  arrived  from  the  south,  for  that  would  involve  the 
suspicion  of  my  having  been  harbored  there,  and 
might  bring  trouble,  if  not  ruin,  on  several  people. 

I  like  a  straightforward  course,  and  am  always  re 
luctant  to  resort  to  subterfuges.  So  far  as  my  ways 
have  been  crooked,  I  charge  them  all  upon  slavery. 
It  was  that  system  of  violence  and  wrong  which  now 
left  me  no  alternative  but  to  enact  a  falsehood.  I 
began  my  note  by  stating  that  I  had  recently  arrived 
from  Canada,  and  was  very  desirous  to  have  my 


252      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

daughter  come  to  see  me.  She  came  and  brought  a 
message  from  Mrs.  Hobbs,  inviting  me  to  her  house, 
and  assuring  me  that  I  need  not  have  any  fears.  The 
conversation  I  had  with  my  child  did  not  leave  my  mind 
at  ease.  When  I  asked  if  she  was  well  treated,  she 
answered  yes;  but  there  was  no  heartiness  in  the 
tone,  and  it  seemed  to  me  that  she  said  it  from  an 
unwillingness  to  have  me  troubled  on  her  account. 
Before  she  left  me,  she  asked  very  earnestly, "  Mother, 
when  will  you  take  me  to  live  with  you  ? "  It  made 
me  sad  to  think  that  I  could  not  give  her  a  home  till 
I  went  to  work  and  earned  the  means ;  and  that 
might  take  me  a  long  time.  When  she  was  placed 
with  Mrs.  Hobbs,  the  agreement  was  that  she  should 
be  sent  to  school.  She  had  been  there  two  years, 
and  was  now  nine  years  old,  and  she  scarcely  knew 
her  letters.  There  was  no  excuse  for  this,  for  there 
were  good  public  schools  in  Brooklyn,  to  which  she 
could  have  been  sent  without  expense. 

She  staid  with  me  till  dark,  and  I  went  home  with 
her.  I  was  received  in  a  friendly  manner  by  the 
family,  and  all  agreed  in  saying  that  Ellen  was  a 
useful,  good  girl.  Mrs.  Hobbs  looked  me  coolly  in  the 
face,  and  said,  "  I  suppose  you  know  that  my  cousin, 
Mr.  Sands,  has  given  her  to  my  eldest  daughter.  She 
will  make  a  nice  waiting-maid  for  her  when  she  grows 
up."  I  did  not  answer  a  word.  How  could  she,  who 
knew  by  experience  the  strength  of  a  mother's  love, 
and  who  was  perfectly  aware  of  the  relation  Mr.  Sands 
bore  to  my  children,  —  how  could  she  look  me  in  the 
face,  while  she  thrust  such  a  dagger  into  my  heart  ? 

I  was  no  longer  surprised  that  they  had  kept  her  in 
such  a  state  of  ignorance.  Mr.  Hobbs  had  formerly 


The  Meeting  of  Mother  and  Daughter.     253 

been  wealthy,  but  he  had  failed,  and  afterwards  ob 
tained  a  subordinate  situation  in  the  Custom  House. 
Perhaps  they  expected  to  return  to  the  south  some  day ; 
and  Ellen's  knowledge  was  quite  sufficient  for  a  slave's 
condition.  I  was  impatient  to  go  to  work  and  earn 
money,  that  I  might  change  the  uncertain  position  of 
my  children.  Mr.  .Sands  had  not  kept  his  promise  to 
emancipate  them.  I  had  also  been  deceived  about 
Ellen.  What  security  had  I  with  regard  to  Benjamin  ? 
I  felt  that  I  had  none. 

I  returned  to  my  friend's  house  in  an  uneasy  state 
of  mind.  In  order  to  protect  my  children,  it  was 
necessary  that  I  should  own  myself.  I  called  myself 
free,  and  sometimes  felt  so ;  but  I  knew  I  was  insecure. 
I  sat  down  that  night  and  wrote  a  civil  letter  to  Dr, 
Flint,  asking  him  to  state  the  lowest  terms  on  which  he 
would  sell  me ;  and  as  I  belonged  by  law  to  his  daughter, 
I  wrote  to  her  also,  making  a  similar  request. 

Since  my  arrival  at  the  north  I  had  not  been  un 
mindful  of  my  dear  brother  William.  I  had  made 
diligent  inquiries  for  him,  and  having  heard  of  him 
in  Boston,  I  went  thither.  When  I  arrived  there,  I 
found  he  had  gone  to  New  Bedford.  I  wrote  to  that 
place,  and  was  informed  he  had  gone  on  a  whaling 
voyage,  and  would  not  return  for  some  months.  I 
went  back  to  New  York  to  get  employment  near  Ellen. 
I  received  an  answer  from  Dr.  Flint,  which  gave  me 
no  encouragement.  He  advised  me  to  return  and 
submit  myself  to  my  rightful  owners,  and  then  any 
request  I  might  make  would  be  granted.  I  lent  this 
letter  to  a  friend,  who  lost  it ;  otherwise  I  would  pre 
sent  a  copy  to  my  readers. 


254      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


XXXIII. 

A   HOME    FOUND. 

MY  greatest  anxiety  now  was  to  obtain  employment. 
My  health  was  greatly  improved,  though  my  limbs  con 
tinued  to  trouble  me  with  swelling  whenever  I  walked 
much.  The  greatest  difficulty  in  my  way  was,  that 
those  who  employed  strangers  required  a  recommenda 
tion  ;  and  in  my  peculiar  position,  I  could,  of  course, 
obtain  no  certificates  from  the  families  I  had  so  faith 
fully  served. 

One  day  an  acquaintance  told  me  of  a  lady  who 
wanted  a  nurse  for  her  babe,  and  I  immediately  ap 
plied  for  the  situation.  The  lady  told  me  she  preferred 
to  have  one  who  had  been  a  mother,  and  accustomed 
to  the  care  of  infants.  I  told  her  I  had  nursed  two 
babes  of  my  own.  She  asked  me  many  questions,  but, 
to  my  great  relief,  did  not  require  a  recommendation 
from  my  former  employers.  She  told  me  she  was  an 
English  woman,  and  that  was  a  pleasant  circumstance 
to  me,  because  I  had  heard  they  had  less  prejudice 
against  color  than  Americans  entertained.  It  was 
agreed  that  we  should  try  each  other  for  a  week.  The 
trial  proved  satisfactory  to  both  parties,  and  I  was  en 
gaged  for  a  month. 

The  heavenly  Father  had  been  most  merciful  to  me  in 
leading  me  to  this  place.  Mrs.  Bruce  was  a  kind  and 
gentle  lady,  and  proved  a  true  and  sympathizing  friend. 
Before  the  stipulated  month  expired,  the  necessity  of 


A  Home  Found.  255 

passing  up  and  down  stairs  frequently,  caused  my  limbs 
to  swell  so  painfully,  that  I  became  unable  to  perform 
my  duties.  Many  ladies  woiild  have  thoughtlessly  dis 
charged  me  ;  but  Mrs.  Bruce  made  arrangements  to 
save  me  steps,  and  employed  a  physician  to  attend  upon 
me.  I  had  not  yet  told  her  that  I  was  a  fugitive  slave. 
She  noticed  that  I  was  often  sad,  and  kindly  inquired 
the  cause.  I  spoke  of  being  separated  from  my  chil 
dren,  and  from  relatives  who  were  dear  to  me ;  but  I 
did  not  mention  the  constant  feeling  of  insecurity  which 
oppressed  my  spirits.  I  longed  for  some  one  to  confide 
in  ;  but  I  had  been  so  deceived  by  white  people,  that  I 
had  lost  all  confidence  in  them.  If  they  spoke  kind 
words  to  me,  I  thought  it  was  for  some  selfisn  purpose. 
I  had  entered  this  family  with  the  distrustful  feelings 
I  had  brought  with  me  out  of  slavery;  but  ere  six 
months  had  passed,  I  found  that  the  gentle  deportment 
•of  Mrs.  Bruce  and  the  smiles  of  her  lovely  babe  were 
thawing  my  chilled  heart.  My  narrow  mind  also  began 
to  expand  under  the  influences  of  her  intelligent  con 
versation,  and  the  opportunities  for  reading,  which  were 
gladly  allowed  me  whenever  I  had  leisure  from  my  duties. 
I  gradually  became  more  energetic  and  more  cheerful. 
The  old  feeling  of  insecurity,  especially  with  regard 
to  my  children,  often  threw  its  dark  shadow  across  my 
sunshine.  Mrs.  Bruce  offered  me  a  home  for  Ellen  ; 
but  pleasant  as  it  would  have  been,  I  did  not  dare  to 
accept  it,  for  fear  of  offending  the  Hobbs  family.  Their 
knowledge  of  my  precarious  situation  placed  me  in 
their  power  ;  and  I  felt  that  it  was  important  for  me  to 
keep  on  the  right  side  of  them,  till,  by  dint  of  labor 
and  economy,  I  could  make  a  home  for  my  children. 


256      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

I  was  far  from  feeling  satisfied  with  Ellen's  situation. 
She  was  not  well  cared  for.  She  sometimes  came  to 
New  York  to  visit  me ;  but  she  generally  brought  a 
request  from  Mrs.  Hobbs  that  I  would  buy  her  a  pair 
of  'shoes,  or  some  article  of  clothing.  This  was  accom 
panied  by  a  promise  of  payment  when  Mr.  Hobbs's 
salary  at  the  Custom  House  became  due  ;  but  some  how 
or  other  the  pay-day  never  came.  Thus  many  dollars 
of  my  earnings  were  expended  to  keep  my  child  com 
fortably  clothed.  That,  however,  was  a  slight  trouble, 
compared  with  the  fear  that  their  pecuniary  embarrass 
ments  might  induce  them  to  sell  my  precious  young 
daughter.  I  knew  they  were  in  constant  communication 
with  Southerners,  and  had  frequent  opportunities  to  do 
it.  I  have  stated  that  when  Dr.  Flint  put  Ellen  in  jail,  at 
two  years  old,  she  had  an  inflammation  of  the  eyes,  oc 
casioned  by  measles.  This  disease  still  troubled  her  ; 
and  kind  Mrs.  Bruce  proposed  that  she  should  come  to 
New  York  for  a  while,  to  be  under  the  care  of  Dr. 
Elliott,  a  well  known  oculist.  It  did  not  occur  to  me 
that  there  was  any  thing  improper  in  a  mother's  making 
such  a  request ;  but  Mrs.  Hobbs  was  very  angry,  and 
refused  to  let  her  go.  Situated  as  I  was,  it  was  not 
politic  to  insist  upon  it.  I  made  no  complaint,  but'  I 
longed  to  be  entirely  free  to  act  a  mother's  part  towards 
my  children.  The  next  time  I  went  over  to  Brooklyn, 
Mrs.  Hobbs,  as  if  to  apologize  for  her  anger,  told  me 
she  had  employed  her  own  physician  to  attend  to  Ellen's 
eyes,  and  that  she  had  refused  my  request  because  she 
did  not  consider  it  safe  to  trust  her  in  New  York.  I 
accepted  the  explanation  in  silence  ;  but  she  had  told 
ine  that  my  child  belonged  to  her  daughter,  and  I  sus- 


A  Home  Found.  257 

pected  that  her  real  motive  was  a  fear  of  my  conveying 
her  property  away  from  her.  Perhaps  I  did  her  in 
justice  ;  but  my  knowledge  of  Southerners  made  it 
difficult  for  me  to  feel  otherwise. 

Sweet  and  bitter  were  mixed  in  the  cup  of  my  life,  and 
I  was  thankful  that  it  had  ceased  to  be  entirely  bitter. 
I  loved  Mrs.  Bruce's  babe.  When  it  laughed  and  crowed 
in  my  face,  and  twined  its  little  tender  arms  confid 
ingly  about  my  neck,  it  made  me  think  of  the  time 
when  Benny  and  Ellen  were  babies,  and  my  wounded 
heart  was  soothed.  One  bright  morning,  as  I  stood  at 
the  window,  tossing  baby  in  my  arms,  my  attention  was 
attracted  by  a  young  man  in  sailor's  dress,  who  was 
closely  observing  every  house  as  he  passed.  I  looked 
at  him  earnestly.  Could  it  be  my  brother  William  ? 
It  must  be  he  —  and  yet,  how  changed  !  I  placed  the 
baby  safely,  flew  down  stairs,  opened  the  front  door, 
beckoned  to  the  sailor,  and  in  less  than  a  minute  I  was 
clasped  in  my  brother's  arms.  How  much  we  had  to 
tell  each  other  !  How  we  laughed,  and  how  we  cried, 
over  each  other's  adventures !  I  took  him  to  Brooklyn, 
and  again  saw  him  with  Ellen,  the  dear  child  whom  he 
had  loved  and  tended  so  carefully,  while  I  was  shut  up 
in  my  miserable  den.  He  staid  in  New  York  a  week. 
His  old  feelings  of  affection  for  me  and  Ellen  were  as 
lively  as  ever.  There  are  no  bonds  so  strong  as  those 
which  are  formed  by  suffering  together. 

22* 


258      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


XXXIV. 

THE  OLD   ENEMY  AGAIN. 

MY  young  mistress,  Miss  Eniily  Flint,  did  not  re 
turn  any  answer  to  my  letter  requesting  her  to  consent 
to  my  being  sold.  But  after  a  while,  I  received  a  reply, 
which  purported  to  be  written  by  her  yoimger  brother. 
In  order  rightly  to  enjoy  the  contents  of  this  letter,  the 
reader  must  bear  in  mind  that  the  Flint  family  sup 
posed  I  had  been  at  the  north  many  years.  They  had 
no  idea  that  I  knew  of  the  doctor's  three  excursions 
to  New  York  in  search  of  me ;  that  I  had  heard  his 
voice,  when  he  came  to  borrow  five  hundred  dollars 
for  that  purpose ;  and  that  I  had  seen  him  pass  on  his 
way  to  the  steamboat.  Neither  were  they  aware  that 
all  the  particulars  of  aunt  Nancy's  death  and  burial 
were  conveyed  to  me  at  the  time  they  occurred.  I 
have  kept  the  letter,  of  which  I  herewith  subjoin  a 
copy :  — 

"  Your  letter  to  sister  was  received  a  few  days  ago. 
I  gather  from  it  that  you  are  desirous  of  returning  to 
your  native  place,  among  your  friends  and  relatives. 
We  were  all  gratified  with  the  contents  of  your  letter ; 
and  let  me  assure  you  that  if  any  members  of  the 
family  have  had  any  feeling  of  resentment  towards  you, 
they  feel  it  no  longer.  We  all  sympathize  with  you  in 
your  unfortunate  condition,  and  are  ready  to  do  all  in 
our  power  to  make  you  contented  and  happy.  It  is 
difficult  for  you  to  return  home  as  a  free  person.  If 


The  Old  Enemy  Again.  259 

you  were  purchased  by  your  grandmother,  it  is  doubt 
ful  whether  you  would  be  permitted  to  remain,  although 
it  would  be  lawful  for  you  to  do  so.  If  a  servant  should 
be  allowed'  to  purchase  herself,  after  absenting  herself 
so  long  from  her  owners,  and  return  free,  it  would 
have  an  injurious  effect.  From  your  letter,  I  think 
your  situation  must  be  hard  and  uncomfortable.  Come 
home.  You  have  it  in  your  power  to  be  reinstated  in 
our  affections.  We  would  receive  you  with  open  arms 
and  tears  of  joy.  You  need  not  apprehend  any  un 
kind  treatment,  as  we  have  not  put  ourselves  to  any 
trouble  or  expense  to  get  you.  Had  we  done  so, 
perhaps  we  should  feel  otherwise.  You  know  my  sis 
ter  was  always  attached  to  you,  and  that  you  were 
never  treated  as  a  slave.  You  were  never  put  to  hard 
work,  nor  exposed  to  field  labor.  On  the  contrary,  you 
were  taken  into  the  house,  and  treated  as  one  of  us, 
and  almost  as  free  ;  and  we,  at  least,  felt  that  you  were 
above  disgracing  yourself  by  running  away.  Believing 
you  may  be  induced  to  come  home  voluntarily  has  in 
duced  me  to  write  for  my  sister.  The  family  will  be 
rejoiced  to  see  you ;  and  your  poor  old  grandmother 
expressed  a  great  desire  to  have  you  come,  when  she 
heard  your  letter  read.  In  her  old  age  she  needs  the 
consolation  of  having  her  children  round  her.  Doubt 
less  you  have  heard  of  the  death  of  your  aunt.  She 
was  a  faithful  servant,  and  a  faithful  member  of  the 
Episcopal  church.  In  her  Christian  life  she  taught  us 
how  to  live  —  and,  0,  too  high  the  price  .of  knowl 
edge,  she  taught  us  how  to  die !  Could  you  have  seen 
us  round  her  death  bed,  with  her  mother,  all  mingling 
our  tears  in  ono  common  stream,  you  would  have 


260     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

thought  the  same  heartfelt  tie  existed  between  a  mas 
ter  and  his  servant,  as  between  a  mother  and  her  child. 
But  this  subject  is  too  painful  to  dwell  upon.  I  must 
bring  my  letter  to  a  close.  If  you  are  contented  to  stay 
away  from  your  old  grandmother,  your  child,  and  the 
friends  who  love  you,  stay  where  you  are.  We  shall 
never  trouble  ourselves  to  apprehend  you.  But  should 
you  prefer  to  come  home,  we  will  do  all  that  we  can  to 
make  you  happy.  If  you  do  not  wish  to  remain  in  the 
family,  I  know  that  father,  by  our  persuasion,  will  be 
induced  to  let  you  be  purchased  by  any  person  you 
may  choose  in  our  community.  You  will  please  an 
swer  this  -as  soon  as  possible,  and  let  us  know  your 
decision.  Sister  sends  much  love  to  you.  In  the 
mean  time  believe  me  your  sincere  friend  and  well 
wisher." 

This  letter  was  signed  by  Emily's  brother,  who  was 
as  yet  a  mere  lad.  I  knew,  by  the  style,  that  it  was 
not  written  by  a  person  of  his  age,  and  though  the 
writing  was  disguised,  I  had  been  made  too  unhappy  by 
it,  in  former  years,  not  to  recognize  at  once  the  hand 
of  Dr.  Flint.  O,  the  hypocrisy  of  slaveholders  !  Did 
the  old  fox  suppose  I  was  goose  enough  to  go  into  such 
a  trap  ?  Verily,  he  relied  too  much  on  "  the  stupidity 
of  the  African  race."  I  did  not  return  the  family  of 
Flints  any  thanks  for  their  cordial  invitation  —  a  re- 
missness  for  which  I  was,  no  doubt,  charged  with  base 
ingratitude. 

Not  long  afterwards  I  received  a  letter  from  one  of 
my  friends  at  the  south,  informing  me  that  Dr.  Flint 
was  about  to  visit  the  north.  The  letter  had  been 
delayed,  and  I  supposed  he  might  be  already  on  the 


The  Old  Enemy  Again.  261 

way.  Mrs.  Bruce  did  not  know  I  was  a  fugitive.  I 
told  her  that  important  business  called  nie  to  Boston, 
where  my  brother  then  was,  and  asked  permission  to 
bring  a  friend  to  supply  my  place  as  nurse,  for  a  fort 
night.  I  started  on  my  journey  immediately  ;  and  as 
soon  as  I  arrived,  I  wrote  to  my  grandmother  that  if 
Benny  came,  he  must  be  sent  to  Boston.  I  knew  she 
was  only  waiting  for  a  good  chance  to  send  him  north, 
and,  fortunately,  she  had  the  legal  power  to  do  so,  with 
out  asking  leave  of  any  body.  She  was  a  free  woman  ; 
and  when  my  children  were  purchased,  Mr.  Sands  pre 
ferred  to  have  the  bill  of  sale  drawn  up  in  her  name. 
It  was  conjectured  that  he  advanced  the  money,  butjt 
was  not  known.  At  the  south,  a  gentleman  may  have 
a  shoal  of  colored  children  without  any  disgrace  ;  but 
if  lie  is  known  to  purchase  them,  with  the  view  of  set 
ting  them  free,  the  example  is  thought  to  be  dangerous 
to  their  "  peculiar  institution,"  and  he  becomes 
popular. 

There  was  a  good  opportunity  to  send  Benny  in  a 
vessel  coming  directly  to  New  York.  He  was  put  on 
board  with  a  letter  to  a  friend,  who  was  requested  to 
see  him  off  to  Boston.  Early  one  morning,  there  was 
a  loud  rap  at  my  door,  and  in  rushed  Benjamin,  all 
out  of  breath.  "  0  mother !  "  he  exclaimed,  "  here 
I  am !  I  run  all  the  way;  and  I  come  all  alone.  How 
d'you  do  ?  " 

0  reader,  can  you  imagine  my  joy  ?  No,  you  can 
not,  unless  you  have  been  a  slave  mother.  Benjamin 
rattled  away  as  fast  as  his  tongue  could  go.  "  Mother, 
why  don't  you  bring  Ellen  here  ?  I  went  over  to 
Brooklyn  to  see  her,  and  she  felt  very  bad  when  I  bid 


262      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

her  good  by.  She  said,  '  0  Ben,  I  wish  I  was  going 
too.'  I  thought  she'd  know  ever  so  much ;  but  she 
don't  know  so  much  as  I  do ;  for  I  can  read,  and  she 
can't.  And,  mother,  I  lost  all  my  clothes  coming. 
What  can  I  do  to  get  some  more  ?  I  'spose  free  boys 
can  get  along  here  at  the  north  as  well  as  white  boys." 

I  did  not  like  to  tell  the  sanguine,  happy  little  fel 
low  how  much  he  was  mistaken.  I  took  him  to  a 
tailor,  and  procured  a  change  of  clothes.  The  rest 
of  the  day  was  spent  in  mutual  asking  and  answering 
of  questions,  with  the  wish  constantly  repeated  that 
the  good  old  grandmother  was  with  us,  and  frequent 
injunctions  from  Benny  to  write  to  her  immediately, 
and  be  sure  to  tell  her  every  thing  about  his  voyage, 
and  his  journey  to  Boston. 

Dr.  Flint  made  his  visit  to  New  York,  and  made 
every  exertion  to  call  upon  me,  and  invite  me  to  return 
with  him ;  but  not  being  able  to  ascertain  where  I  was, 
his  hospitable  intentions  were  frustrated,  and  the  affec 
tionate  family,  who  were  waiting  for  me  with  "  open 
arms,"  were  doomed  to  disappointment. 

As  soon  as  I  knew  he  was  safely  at  home,  I  placed 
Benjamin  in  the  care  of  my  brother  William,  and  re 
turned  to  Mrs.  Bruce.  There  I  remained  through  the 
winter  and  spring,  endeavoring  to  perform  my  duties 
faithfully,  and  finding  a  good  degree  of  happiness  in 
the  attractions  of  baby  Mary,  the  considerate  kindness 
of  her  excellent  mother,  and  occasional  interviews 
with  my  darling  daughter. 

But  when  summer  came,  the  old  feeling  of  inse 
curity  haunted  me.  It  was  necessary  for  me  to  take 
little  Mary  out  daily,  for  exercise  and  fresh  air,  and 


The  Old  Enemy  Again.  263 

the  city  was  swarming  with  Southerners,  some  of 
whom  might  recognize  me.  Hot  weather  brings  out 
snakes  and  slaveholders,  and  I  like  one  class  of  the 
venomous  creatures  as  little  as  I  do  the  other.  What 
a  comfort  it  is,  to  be  free  to  say  so ! 


264      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


XXXV. 

PREJUDICE    AGAINST    COLOR. 

IT  was  a  relief  to  my  mind  to  see  preparations  for 
leaving  the  city.  We  went  to  Albany  in  the  steamboat 
Knickerbocker.  When  the  gong  sounded  for  tea,  Mrs. 
Bruce  said,  "  Linda,  it  is  late,  and  you  and  baby  had 
better  come  to  the  table  with  me."  I  replied,  "  I  know 
it  is  time  baby  had  her  supper,  but  I  had  rather  not  go 
with  you,  if  you  please.  I  am  afraid  of  being  insulted." 
"  0  no,  not  if  you  are  with  me"  she  said.  I  saw  sev 
eral  white  nurses  go  with  their  ladies,  and  I  ventured 
to  do  the  same.  We  were  at  the  extreme  end  of  the 
table.  I  was  no  sooner  seated,  than  a  gruif  voice  said, 
"  Get  up  !  You  know  you  are  not  allowed  to  sit  here." 
I  looked  up,  and,  to  my  astonishment  and  indignation, 
saw  that  the  speaker  was  a  colored  man.  If  his  office 
required  him  to  enforce  the  by-laws  of  the  boat,  he 
might,  at  least,  have  done  it  politely.  I  replied,  "  I 
shall  not  get  up,  unless  the  captain  comes  and  takes 
me  up."  No  cup  of  tea  was  offered  me,  but  Mrs. 
Bruce  handed  me  hers  and  called  for  another.  I  looked 
to  see  whether  the  other  nurses  were  treated  in  a  simi 
lar  manner.  They  were  all  properly  waited  on. 

Next  morning,  when  we  stopped  at  Troy  for  break 
fast,  every  body  was  making  a  rush  for  the  table. 
Mrs.  Bruce  said,  "  Take  my  arm,  Linda,  and  we'll  go 
in  together."  The  landlord  heard  her,  and  said, 
"  Madam,  will  you  allow  your  nurse  and  baby  to  take 


Prejudice  Againft  Color.  265 

breakfast  with  my  family  ? "  I  knew  this  was  to  be 
attributed  to  my  complexion ;  but  he  spoke  courteously, 
and  therefore  I  did  not  mind  it. 

At  Saratoga  we  found  the  United  States  Hotel 
crowded,  and  Mr.  Bruce  took  one  of  the  cottages  be 
longing  to  the  hotel.  I  had  thought,  with  gladness,  of 
going  to  the  quiet  of  the  country,  where  I  should  meet 
few  people,  but  here  I  found  myself  in  the  midst  of 
a  swarm  of  Southerners.  I  looked  round  me  with  fear 
and  trembling,  dreading  to  see  some  one  who  would 
•ecognize  me.  I  was  rejoiced  to  find  that  we  were  to 
stay  but  a  short  time. 

"We  soon  returned  to  New  York,  to  make  arrange 
ments  for  spending  the  remainder  of  the  summer  at 
Rockaway .  While  the  laundress  was  putting  the  clothes 
in  order,  I  took  an  opportunity  to  go  over  to  Brooklyn  to 
see  Ellen.  I  met  her  going  to  a  grocery  store,  and  the 
first  words  she  said,  were,  "  0,  mother,  don't  go  to  Mrs. 
Hobbs's.  Her  brother,  Mr.  Tliorne,  has  come  from  the 
south,  and  may  be  he'll  tell  where  you  are."  I  ac 
cepted  the  warning.  I  told  her  I  was  going  away  with 
Mrs.  Bruce  the  next  day,  and  would  try  to  see  her 
when  I  came  back. 

Being  in  servitude  to  the  Anglo-Saxon  race,  I  was 
not  put  into  a  "  Jim  Crow  car,"  on  our  way  to  Rocka- 
way,  neither  was  I  invited  to  ride  through  the  streets 
on  the  top  of  trunks  in  a  truck ;  but  every  where  I 
found  the  same  manifestations  of  that  cruel  prejudice, 
which  so  discourages  the  feelings,  and  represses  the  en 
ergies  of  the  colored  people.  We  reached  Rcckaway 
before  dark,  and  put  up  at  the  Pavilion — a  large  hotel, 
beautifully  situated  by  the  sea-side  —  a  great  resort  of 

23 


266      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

the  fashionable  world.  Thirty  or  forty  nurses  were 
there,  of  a  great  variety  of  nations.  Some  of  the  ladies 
had  colored  waiting-maids  and  coachmen,  but  I  was 
the  only  nurse  tinged  with  the  blood  of  Africa.  When 
the  tea  bell  rang,  I  took  little  Mary  and  followed  the 
other  nurses.  Supper  was  served  in  a  long  hall.  A 
young  man,  who  had  the  ordering  of  things,  took  the 
circuit  of  the  table  two  or  three  times,  and  finally 
pointed  me  to  a  seat  at  the  lower  end  of  it.  As  there 
was  but  one  chair,  I  sat  down  and  took  the  child  in  my  I 
lap.  Whereupon  the  young  man  came  to  me  and  said, 
in  the  blandest  manner  possible,  "  Will  you  please  to 
seat  the  little  girl  in  the  chair,  and  stand  behind  it  and 
feed  her  ?  After  they  have  done,  you  will  be  shown  to 
the  kitchen,  where  you  will  have  a  good  supper." 

This  was  the  climax  !  I  found  it  hard  to  preserve 
my  self-control,  when  I  looked  round,  and  saw  women 
who  were  nurses,  as  I  was,  and  only  one  shade  lighter 
in  complexion,  eyeing  me  with  a  defiant  look,  as  if  my 
presence  were  a  contamination.  However,  I  said 
nothing.  I  quietly  took  the  child  in  my  arms,  went  to 
our  room,  and  refused  to  go  to  the  table  again.  Mr. 
Bruce  ordered  meals  to  be  sent  to  the  room  for  little 
Mary  and  I.  This  answered  for  a  few  days ;  but  the 
waiters  of  the  establishment  were  white,  and  they  soon 
began  to  complain,  saying  they  were  not  hired  to  wait 
on  negroes.  The  landlord  requested  Mr.  Bruce  to  send 
me  down  to  my  meals,  because  his  servants  rebelled 
against  bringing  them  up,  and  the  colored  servants  of 
other  boarders  were  dissatisfied  because  all  were  not 
treated  alike. 

My  answer  was  that  the  colored  servants  ought  to  be 


Prejudice  Againft  Color.  267 

dissatisfied  with  themselves,  for  not  having  too  much 
self-respect  to  submit  to  such  treatment ;  that  there  was 
no  difference  in  the  price  of  board  for  colored  and  white 
servants,  and  there  was  no  justification  for  difference 
of  treatment.  I  staid  a  month  after  this,  and  finding 
I  was  resolved  to  stand  up  for  my  rights,  they  concluded 
to  treat  me  well.  Let  every  colored  man  and  woman 
do  this,  and  eventually  we  shall  cease  to  be  trampled 
under  foot  by  our  oppressors. 


268      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


XXXVI. 

THE    HAIRBREADTH    ESCAPE. 

AFTER  we  returned  to  New  York,  I  took  the  earliest 
opportunity  to  go  and  see  Ellen.  I  asked  to  have  her 
called  down  stairs  ;  for  I  supposed  Mrs.  Hobbs's  south 
ern  brother  might  still  be  there,  and  I  was  desirous  to 
avoid  seeing  him,  if  possible.  But  Mrs.  Hobbs  came 
to  the  kitchen,  and  insisted  on  my  going  up  stairs. 
"  My  brother  wants  to  see  you,"  said  she,  "  and  he  is 
sorry  you  seem  to  shun  him.  He  knows  you  are  living 
in  New  York.  He  told  me  to  say  to  you  that  he  owes 
thanks  to  good  old  aunt  Martha  for  too  many  little 
acts  of  kindness  for  him  to  be  base  enough  to  betray 
her  grandchild." 

This  Mr.  Thome  had  become  poor  and  reckless  long 
before  he  left  the  south,  and  such  persons  had  much 
rather  go  to  one  of  the  faithful  old  slaves  to  borrow  a 
dollar,  or  get  a  good  dinner,  than  to  go  to  one  whom 
they  consider  an  equal.  It  was  such  acts  of  kindness 
as  these  for  which  he  professed  to  feel  grateful  to  my 
grandmother.  I  wished  he  had  kept  at  a  distance,  but 
as  he  was  here,  and  knew  where  I  was,  I  concluded 
there  was  nothing  to  be  gained  by  trying  to  avoid  him  ; 
on  the  contrary,  it  might  be  the  means  of  exciting  his 
ill  will.  I  followed  his  sister  up  stairs.  He  met  me 
in  a  very  friendly  manner,  congratulated  me  on  my 
escape  from  slavery,  and  hoped  I  had  a  good  place, 
where  I  felt  happy. 


The  Hairbreadth  Efcape.  269 

I  continued  to  visit  Ellen  as  often  as  I  could.  She, 
good  thoughtful. child,  never  forgot  my  hazardous  sit 
uation,  but  always  kept  a  vigilant  lookout  for  my  safety. 
She  never  made  any  complaint  about  her  own  incon 
veniences  and  troubles ;  but  a  mother's  observing  eye 
easily  perceived  that  she  was  not  happy.  On  the  oc 
casion  of  one  of  my  visits  I  found  her  unusually 
serious.  When  I  asked  her  what  was  the  matter,  she 
said  nothing  was  the  matter.  But  I  insisted  upon 
knowing  what  made  her  look  so  very  grave.  Finally, 
I  ascertained  that  she  felt  troubled  about  the  dissipa 
tion  that  was  continually  going  on  in  the  house.  Sho 
was  sent  to  the  store  very  often  for  rum  and  brandy, 
and  she  felt  ashamed  to  ask  for  it  so  often ;  and  Mr. 
Hobbs  and  Mr.  Thorne  drank  a  great  deal,  and  their 
hands  trembled  so  that  they  had  to  call  her  to  pour  out 
the  liquor  for  them.  "  But  for  all  that,"  said  she, "  Mr. 
Hobbs  is  good  to  me,  and  I  can't  help  liking  him.  I 
feel  sorry  for  him."  I  tried  to  comfort  her,  by  telling 
her  that  I  had  laid  up  a  hundred  dollars,  and  that 
before  long  I  hoped  to  be  able  to  give  her  and  Benja 
min  a  home,  and  send  them  to  school.  She  was  always 
desirous  not  to  add  to  my  troubles  more  than  she  could 
help,  and  I  did  not  discover  till  years  afterwards  that 
Mr.  Thome's  intemperance  was  not  the  only  annoy 
ance  she  suffered  from  him.  Though  he  professed  too 
much  gratitude  to  my  grandmother  to  injure  any  of 
her  descendants,  he  had  poured  vile  language  into  the 
ears  of  her  innocent  great-grandchild. 

I  usually  went  to  Brooklyn  to  spend  Sunday  after 
noon.  One  Sunday,  I  found  Ellen  anxiously  waiting 
for  me  near  the  house.  "  0,  mother,"  said  she,  "  I've 

23* 


270     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

been  waiting  for  you  this  long  time.  I'm  afraid  Mr. 
Thorne  has  written  to  tell  Dr.  Flint  where  you  are. 
Make  haste  and  come  in.  Mrs.  Hobbswill  tell  you  all 
about  it !  " 

The  story  was  soon  told.  While  the  children  were 
playing  in  the  grape-vine  arbor,  the  day  before,  Mr. 
Thorne  came  out  with  a  letter  in  his  hand,  which  he 
tore  up  and  scattered  about.  Ellen  was  sweeping  the 
yard  at  the  time,  and  having  her  mind  full  of  suspi 
cions  of  him,  she  picked  up  the  pieces  and  carried  them 
to  the  children,  saying,  "  I  wonder  who  Mr.  Thorne  has 
been  writing  to." 

"  I'm  sure  I  don't  know,  and  don't  care,"  replied  the 
oldest  of  the  children ;  "  and  I  don't  see  how  it  con 
cerns  you." 

"  But  it  does  concern  me,"  replied  Ellen  ;  "  for  I'm 
afraid  he's  been  writing  to  the  south  about  my  mother." 

They  laughed  at  her,  and  called  her  a  silly  thing, 
but  good-naturedly  put  the  fragments  of  writing  to 
gether,  in  order  to  read  them  to  her.  They  were  no 
sooner  arranged,  than  the  little  girl  exclaimed,  "  I  de 
clare,  Ellen,  I  believe  you  are  right." 

The  contents  of  Mr.  Thome's  letter,  as  nearly  as  I 
can  remember,  were  as  follows :  "  I  have  seen  your 
slave,  Linda,  and  conversed  with  her.  She  can  be 
taken  very  easily,  if  you  manage  prudently.  There 
are  enough  of  us  here  to  swear  to  her  identity  as  your 
property,  I  am  a  patriot,  a  lover  of  my  country,  and 
I  do  this  as  an  act  of  justice  to  the  laws."  He  con 
cluded  by  informing  the  doctor  of  the  street  and  num 
ber  where  I  lived.  The  children  carried  the  pieces  to 
Mrs.  Hobbs,  who  immediately  went  to  her  brother's 


The  Hairbreadth  Efcape.  271 

room  for  an  explanation.  He  was  not  to  be  found. 
The  servants  said  they  saw  him  go  out  with  a  letter  in 
his  hand,  and  they  supposed  he  had  gone  to  the  post 
office.  The  natural  inference  was,  that  he  had  sent 
to  Dr.  Flint  a  copy  of  those  fragments.  When  he 
returned,  his  sister  accused  him  of  it,  and  he  did  not 
deny  the  charge.  He  went  immediately  to  his  room, 
and  the  next  morning  he  was  missing.  He  had  gone 
over  to  New  York,  before  any  of  the  family  were  astir. 

It  was  evident  that  I  had  no  time  to  lose  ;  and  I 
hastened  back  to  the  city  with  a  heavy  heart.  Again 
I  was  to  be  torn  from  a  comfortable  home,  and  all  my 
plans  for  the  welfare  of  my  children  were  to  be  frus 
trated  by  that  demon  Slavery  !  I  now  regretted  that 
I  never  told  Mrs.  Bruce  my  story.  I  had  not  con 
cealed  it  merely  on  account  of  being  a  fugitive  ;  that 
would  have  made  her  anxious,  but  it  would  have 
excited  sympathy  in  her  kind  heart.  I  valued  her 
good  opinion,  and  I  was  afraid  of  losing  it,  if  I  told 
her  all  the  particulars  of  my  sad  story.  But  now  I 
felt  that  it  was  necessary  for  her  to  know  how  I  was 
situated.  I  had  once  left  her  abruptly,  without  ex 
plaining  the  reason,  and  it  would  not  be  proper  to  do 
it  again.  I  went  home  resolved  to  tell  her  in  the 
morning.  But  the  sadness  of  my  face  attracted  her 
attention,  and,  in  answer  to  her  kind  inquiries,  I  poured 
out  my  full  heart  to  her,  before  bed  time.  She  listened 
with  true  womanly  sympathy,  and  told  me  she  would  do 
all  she  could  to  protect  me.  How  my  heart  blessed  her  ! 

Early  the  next  morning,  Judge  Vanderpool  and 
Lawyer  Hopper  were  consulted.  They  said  I  had  bet 
ter  leave  the  city  at  once,  as  the  risk  would  be  great 


272      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

if  the  case  came  to  trial.  Mrs.  Bruce  took  me  in  a 
carriage  to  the  house  of  one  of  her  friends,  where  she 
assured  me  I  should  be  safe  until  my  brother  could 
arrive,  which  would  be  in  a  few  days.  In  the  interval 
my  thoughts  were  much  occupied  with  Ellen.  She 
was  mine  by  birth,  and  she  was  also  mine  by  Southern 
law,  since  my  grandmother  held  the  bill  of  sale  that 
made  her  so.  I  did  not  feel  that  she  was  safe  imless 
I  had  her  with  me.  Mrs.  Hobbs,  who  felt  badly  about 
her  brother's  treachery,  yielded  to  my  entreaties,  on 
condition  that  she  should  return  in  ten  days.  I  avoided 
making  any  promise.  She  came  to  me  clad  in  very 
thin  garments,  all  outgrown,  and  with  a  school  satchel 
on  her  arm,  containing  a  few  articles.  It  was  late  in 
October,  and  I  knew  the  child  must  suffer ;  and  not 
daring  to  go  out  in  the  streets  to  purchase  any  thing, 
I  took  off  my  own  flannel  skirt  and  converted  it  into 
one  for  her.  Kind  Mrs.  Bruce  came  to  bid  me  good 
by,  and  when  she  saw  that  I  had  taken  off  my  clothing 
for  my  child,  the  tears  came  to  her  eyes.  She  said, 
"  Wait  for  me,  Linda,"  and  went  out.  She  soon  re 
turned  with  a  nice  warm  shawl  and  hood  for  Ellen. 
Truly,  of  such  souls  as  hers  are  the  kingdom  of  heaven. 

My  brother  reached  New  York  on  Wednesday.  Law 
yer  Hopper  advised  us  to  go  to  Boston  by  the  Stoning- 
ton  route,  as  there  was  less  Southern  travel  in  that 
direction.  Mrs.  Bruce  directed  her  servants  to  tell  all 
inquirers  that  I  formerly  lived  there,  but  had  gone  from 
the  city. 

We  reached  the  steamboat  Rhode  Island  in  safety. 
That  boat  employed  colored  hands,  but  I  knew  that* 
colored  passengers  were  not  admitted  to  the  cabin.     1 


The  Hairbreadth  Efcape.  273 

was  very  desirous  for  the  seclusion  of  the  cabin,  not 
only  on  account  of  exposure  to  the  night  air,  but  also 
to  avoid  observation.  Lawyer  Hopper  was  waiting 
on  board  for  us.  He  spoke  to  the  stewardess,  and 
asked,  as  a  particular  favor,  that  she  would  treat  us 
well.  He  said  to  me,  "  Go  and  speak  to  the  captain 
yourself  by  and  by.  Take  your  little  girl  with  you, 
and  I  am  sure  that  he  will  not  let  her  sleep  on  deck." 
With  these  kind  words  and  a  shake  of  the  hand  he 
departed. 

The  boat  was  soon  on  her  way,  bearing  me  rapidly 
from  the  friendly  home  where  I  had  hoped  to  find 
security  and  rest.  My  brother  had  left  me  to  purchase 
the  tickets,  thinking  that  I  might  have  better  success 
than  he  would.  When  the  stewardess  came  to  me,  I 
paid  what  she  asked,  and  she  gave  me  three  tickets 
with  clipped  corners.  In  the  most  unsophisticated 
manner  I  said,  "  You  have  made  a  mistake  ;  I  asked 
you  for  cabin  tickets.  I  cannot  possibly  consent  to  sleep 
on  deck  with  my  little  daughter."  She  assured  me 
there  was  no  mistake.  She  said  on  some  of  the  routes 
colored  people  were  allowed  to  sleep  in  the  cabin,  but 
not  on  this  route,  which  was  much  travelled  by  the 
wealthy.  I  asked  her  to  show  me  to  the  captain's 
office,  and  she  said  she  would  after  tea.  When  the 
time  came,  I  took  Ellen  by  the  hand  and  went  to  the 
captain,  politely  requesting  him  to  change  our  tickets, 
as  we  should  be  very  uncomfortable  on  deck.  He  said 
it  was  contrary  to  their  custom,  but  he  would  see  that 
we  had  berths  below  ;  he  would  also  try  to  obtain  com 
fortable  seats  for  us  in  the  cars ;  of  that  he  was  not 
certain,  but  he  would  speak  to  the  conductor  about  it, 


274       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

when  the  boat  arrived.  I  thanked  him,  and  returned 
to  the  ladies'  cabin.  He  came  afterwards  and  told 
me  that  the  conductor  of  the  cars  was  on  board,  that 
he  had  spoken  to  him,  and  he  had  promised  to  take 
care  of  us.  I  was  very  much  surprised  at  receiving 
so  much  kindness.  I  don't  know  whether  the  pleasing 
face  of  my  little  girl  had  won  his  heart,  or  whether  the 
stewardess  inferred  from  Lawyer  Hopper's  manner  that  1 
was  a  fugitive,  and  had  pleaded  with  him  in  my  behalf. 

When  the  boat  arrived  at  Stonington,  the  conductor 
kept  his  promise,  and  showed  us  to  seats  in  the  first 
car,  nearest  the  engine.  He  asked  us  to  take  seats 
next  the  door,  but  as  he  passed  through,  we  ventured 
to  move  on  toward  the  other  end  of  the  car.  No  in 
civility  was  offered  us,  and  we  reached  Boston  in  safety. 

The  day  after  my  arrival  was  one  of  the  happiest 
of  my  life.  I  felt  as  if  I  was  beyond  the  reach  of 
the  bloodhounds ;  and,  for  the  first  time  during 
many  years,  I  had  both  my  children  together  with  me. 
They  greatly  enjoyed  their  reunion,  and  laughed  and 
chatted  merrily.  I  watched  them  with  a  swelling 
heart.  Their  every  motion  delighted  me. 

I  could  not  feel  safe  in  New  York,  and  I  accepted 
the  offer  of  a  friend,  that  we  should  share  expenses 
and  keep  house  together.  I  represented  to  Mrs. 
Hobbs  that  Ellen  must  have  some  schooling,  and  must 
remain  with  me  for  that  purpose.  She  felt  ashamed 
of  being  unable  to  read  or  spell  at  her  age,  so  instead 
of  sending  her  to  school  with  Benny,  I  instructed  her 
myself  till  she  was  fitted  to  enter  an  intermediate  school. 
The  winter  passed  pleasantly,  while  I  was  busy  with 
my  needle,  and  my  children  with  their  books. 


A  Vifit  to  England.  275 


XXXVII. 

A  VISIT   TO   ENGLAND. 

IN  the  spring,  sad  news  came  to  me.  Mrs.  Bruce 
was  dead.  Never  again,  in  this  world,  should  I  see 
her  gentle  face,  or  hear  her  sympathizing  voice.  I  had 
lost  an  excellent  friend,  and  little  Mary  had  lost  a 
tender  mother.  Mr.  Bruce  wished  the  child  to  visit 
some  of  her  mother's  relatives  in  England,  and  he  was 
desirous  that  I  should  take  charge  of  her.  The  little 
motherless  one  was  accustomed  to  me,  and  attached  to 
me,  and  I  thought  she  would  be  happier  in  my  care 
than  in  that  of  a  stranger.  I  could  also  earn  more 
in  this  way  than  I  could  by  my  needle.  So  I  put 
Benny  to  a  trade,  and  left  Ellen  to  remain  in  the  house 
with  my  friend  and  go  to  school. 

We  sailed  from  New  York,  and  arrived  in  Liverpool 
after  a  pleasant  voyage  of  twelve  days.  We  proceeded 
directly  to  London,  and  took  lodgings  at  the  Adelaide 
Hotel.  The  supper  seemed  to  me  less  luxurious  than 
those  I  had  seen  in  American  hotels ;  but  my  situation 
was  indescribably  more  pleasant.  For  the  first  time 
in  my  life  I  was  in  a  place  where  I  was  treated  accord 
ing  to  my  deportment,  without  reference  to  my  com 
plexion.  I  felt  as  if  a  great  millstone  had  been  lifted 
from  my  breast.  Ensconced  in  a  pleasant  room,  with 
my  dear  little  charge,  I  laid  my  head  on  my  pillow,  for 
the  first  time,  with  the  delightful  consciousness  of 
pure,  unadulterated  freedom. 


2j6      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

As  I  had  constant  care  of  the  child,  I  had  little  op 
portunity  to  see  the  wonders  of  that  great  city ;  but  I 
watched  the  tide  of  life  that  flowed  through  the  streets, 
and  found  it  a  strange  contrast  to  the  stagnation  in  our 
Southern  towns.  Mr.  Bruce  took  his  little  daughter 
to  spend  some  days  with  friends  in  Oxford  Crescent, 
and  of  course  it  was  necessary  for  me  to  accompany 
her.  I  had  heard  much  of  the  systematic  method  of 
English  education,  and  I  was  very  desirous  that  my 
dear  Mary  should  steer  straight  in  the  midst  of  so 
much  propriety.  I  closely  observed  her  little  play 
mates  and  their  nurses,  being  ready  to  take  any  lessons 
in  the  science  of  good  management.  The  children  were 
more  rosy  than  American  children,  but  I  did  not  see 
that  they  differed  materially  in  other  respects.  They 
were  like  all  children  —  sometimes  docile  and  some 
times  wayward. 

We  next  went  to  Steventon,  in  Berkshire.  It  was  a 
small  town,  said  to  be  the  poorest  in  the  county.  I  saw 
men  working  in  the  fields  for  six  shillings,  and  seven 
shillings,  a  week,  and  women  for  sixpence,  and  seven- 
pence,  a  day,  out  of  which  they  boarded  themselves. 
Of  course  they  lived  in  the  most  primitive  manner  ;  it 
could  not  be  otherwise,  where  a  woman's  wages  for  an 
entire  day  were  not  sufficient  to  buy  a  pound  of  meat. 
They  paid  very  low  rents,  and  their  clothes  were  made 
of  the  cheapest  fabrics,  though  much  better  than  could 
have  been  procured  in  the  United  States  for  the  same 
money.  I  had  heard  much  about  the  oppression  of  the 
poor  in  Europe.  The  people  I  saw  around  me  were, 
many  of  them,  among  the  poorest  poor.  But  when  1 
visited  them  in  their  little  thatched  cottages,  I  felt  that 


A  Vifit  to  England.  277 

the  condition  of  even  the  meanest  and  most  ignorant 
among  them  was  vastly  superior  to  the  condition  of  the 
most  favored  slaves  in  America.  They  labored  hard  ; 
but  they  were  not  ordered  out  to  toil  while  the  stars 
were  in  the  sky,  and  driven  and  slashed  by  an  over 
seer,  through  heat  and  cold,  till  the  stars  shone  out 
again.  Their  homes  were  very  humble ;  but  they  were 
protected  by  law.  No  insolent  patrols  could  come,  in 
the  dead  of  night,  and  flog  them  at  their  pleasure. 
The  father,  when  he  closed  his  cottage  door,  felt  safe 
with  his  family  around  him.  No  master  or  overseer 
could  come  and  take  from  him  his  wife,  or  his  daugh 
ter.  They  must  separate  to  earn  their  living ;  but  the 
parents  knew  where  their  children  were  going,  and 
could  communicate  with  them  by  letters.  The  rela 
tions  of  husband  and  wife,  parent  and  child,  were  too 
sacred  for  the  richest  noble  in  the  land  to  violate  with 
impunity.  Much  was  being  done  to  enlighten  these 
poor  people.  Schools  were  established  among  them, 
and  benevolent  societies  were  active  in  efforts  tcf  amel 
iorate  their  condition.  There  was  no  law  forbidding 
them  to  learn  to  read  and  write ;  and  if  they  helped 
each  other  in  spelling  out  the  Bible,  they  were  in  no 
danger  of  thirty-nine  lashes,  as  was  the  case  with  my 
self  and  poor,  pious,  old  uncle  Fred.  I  repeat  that  the 
most  ignorant  and  the  most  destitute  of  these  peasants 
was  a  thousand  fold  better  off  than  the  most  pampered 
American  slave. 

I  do  not  deny  that  the  poor  are  oppressed  in  Europe. 
I  am  not  disposed  to  paint  their  condition  so  rose- 
colored  as  the  Hon.  Miss  Murray  paints  the  condition 
of  the  slaves  in  the  United  States.  A  small  portion 

24 


278      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

of  my  experience  would  enable  her  to  read  her  own 
pages  with  anointed  eyes.  If  she  were  to  lay  aside  her 
title,  and,  instead  of  visiting  among  the  fashionable, 
become  domesticated,  as  a  poor  governess,  on  some 
plantation  in  Louisiana  or  Alabama,  she  would  see 
and  hear  things  that  would  make  her  tell  quite  a  dif 
ferent  story. 

My  visit  to  England  is  a  memorable  event  in  my  life, 
from  the  fact  of  my  having  there  received  strong  re 
ligious  impressions.  The  contemptuous  manner  in 
which  the  communion  had  been  administered  to  colored 
people,  in  my  native  place ;  the  church  membership 
of  Dr.  Flint,  and  others  like  him ;  and  the  buying  and 
selling  of  slaves,  by  professed  ministers  of  the  gospel, 
had  given  me  a  prejudice  against  the  Episcopal  church. 
The  whole  service  seemed  to  me  a  mockery  and  a  sham. 
But  my  home  in  Steventon  was  in  the  family  of  a  cler 
gyman,  who  was  a  true  disciple  of  Jesus.  The  beauty 
of  his  daily  life  inspired  me  with  faith  in  the  genuine 
ness  of  Christian  professions.  Grace  entered  my  heart, 
and  I  knelt  at  the  communion  table,  I  trust,  in  true 
humility  of  soul. 

I  remained  abroad  ten  months,  which  was  much 
longer  than  I  had  anticipated.  During  all  that  time, 
I  never  saw  the  slightest  symptom  of  prejudice  against 
color.  Indeed,  I  entirely  forgot  it,  till  the  time  came 
for  us  to  return  to  America. 


Renewed  Invitations  to  go  South.         279 


XXXVIII.       ^ 

RENEWED  INVITATIONS  TO  GO  SOUTH. 

WE  had  a  tedious  winter  passage,  and  from  the 
distance  spectres  seemed  to  rise  up  on  the  shores  of 
the  United  States.  It  is  a  sad  feeling  to  be  afraid  of 
one's  native  country.  We  arrived  in  New  York  safely, 
and  I  hastened  to  Boston  to  look  after  my  children.  I 
found  Ellen  well,  and  improving  at  her  school ;  but 
Benny  was  not  there  to  welcome  me.  He  had  been 
left  at  a  good  place  to  learn  a  trade,  and  for  several 
months  every  thing  worked  well.  He  was  liked  by 
the  master,  and  was  a  favorite  with  his  follow-appren- 
ticcs  ;  but  one  day  they  accidentally  discovered  a  fact 
they  had  never  before  suspected — that  he  was  colored! 
This  at  once  transformed  him  into  a  different  being. 
Some  of  the  apprentices  were  Americans,  others 
American-born  Irish ;  and  it  was  offensive  to  their 
dignity  to  have  a  "  nigger "  among  them,  after  they 
had  been  told  that  he  was  a  "  nigger."  They  began 
by  treating  him  with  silent  scorn,  and  finding  that  he 
returned  the  same,  they  resorted  to  insults  and  abuse. 
He  was  too  spirited  a  boy  to  stand  that,  and  he  went 
off.  Being  desirous  to  do  something  to  support  him 
self,  and  having  no  one  to  advise  him,  he  shipped  for 
a  whaling  voyage.  When  I  received  these  tidings  I 
shed  many  tears,  and  bitterly  reproached  myself  for 
having  left  him  so  long.  But  I  had  done  it  for  the 
best,  and  now  all  I  could  do  was  to  pray  to  the 
heavenly  Father  to  guide  and  protect  him. 


280      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

Not  long  after  my  return,  I  received  the  following 
letter  from  Miss  Emily  Flint,  now  Mrs.  Dodge :  — 

"  In  this  you  will  recognize  the  hand  of  your  friend 
and  mistress.  Having  heard  that  you  had  gone  with 
a  family  to  Europe,  I  have  waited  to  hear  of  your 
return  to  write  to  you.  I  should  have  answered  the 
letter  you  wrote  to  me  long  since,  but  as  I  could  not 
then  act  independently  of  my  father,  I  knew  there 
could  he  nothing  done  satisfactory  to  you.  There 
were  persons  here  who  were  willing  to  buy  you  and 
run  the  risk  of  getting  you.  To  this  I  would  not  con 
sent.  I  have  always  been  attached  to  you,  and  would 
not  like  to  see  you  the  slave  of  another,  or  have  un 
kind  treatment.  I  am  married  now,  and  can  protect 
you.  My  husband  expects  to  move  to  Virginia  this 
spring,  where  we  think  of  settling.  I  am  very  anxious 
that  you  should  come  and  live  with  me.  If  you  are 
not  willing  to  come,  you  may  purchase  yourself;  but 
I  should  prefer  having  you  live  with  me.  If  you  come, 
you  may,  if  you  like,  spend  a  month  with  your  grand 
mother  and  friends,  then  come  to  me  in  Norfolk,  Vir 
ginia.  Think  this  over,  and  write  as  soon  as  possible, 
and  let  me  know  the  conclusion.  Hoping  that  your 
children  are  well,  I  remain  you  friend  and  mistress." 

Of  course  I  did  not  write  to  return  thanks  for  this 
cordial  invitation.  I  felt  insulted  to  be  thought  stupid 
enough  to  be  caught  by  such  professions. 

"  '  Come  up  into  my  parlor,'  said  the  spider  to  the  fly ; 
' '  Tis  the  prettiest  little  parlor  that  ever  you  did  spy.' " 


Renewed  Invitations  to  go  South.         281 

It  was  plain  that  Dr.  Flint's  family  were  apprised 
of  my  movements,  since  they  knew  of  my  voyage  to 
Europe.  I  expected  to  have  further  trouble  from 
them ;  but  having  eluded  them  thus  far,  I  hoped  to  be 
as  successful  in  future.  The  money  I  had  earned,  I 
was  desirous  to  devote  to  the  education  of  my  children, 
and  to  secure  a  home  for  them.  It  seemed  not  only 
hard,  but  unjust,  to  pay  for  myself.  I  could  not  possibly 
regard  myself  as  a  piece  of  property.  Moreover,  I  had 
worked  many  years  without  wages,  and  during  that 
time  had  been  obliged  to  depend  on  my  grandmother 
for  many  comforts  in  food  and  clothing.  My  children 
certainly  belonged  to  me ;  but  though  Dr.  Flint  had 
incurred  no  expense  for  their  support,  he  had  received 
a  large  sum  of  money  for  them.  I  knew  the  law 
would  decide  that  I  was  his  property,  and  would 
probably  still  give  his  daughter  a  claim  to  my  chil 
dren  ;  but  I  regarded  such  laws  as  the  regulations  of 
robbers,  who  had  no  rights  that  I  was  bound  to  respect. 

The  Fugitive  Slave  Law  had  not  then  passed.  The 
judges  of  Massachusetts  had  not  then  stooped  under 
chains  to  enter  her  courts  of  justice,  so  called.  I  knew 
my  old  master  was  rather  skittish  of  Massachusetts.  I 
relied  on  her  love  of  freedom,  and  felt  safe  on  her  soil. 
I  am  now  aware  that  I  honored  the  old  Commonwealth 
beyond  her  deserts. 

24* 


282      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 


XXXIX. 

THE    CONFESSION. 

FOR  two  years  my  daughter  and  I  supported  our 
selves  comfortably  in  Boston.  At  the  end  of  that 
time,  my  brother  William  offered  to  send  Ellen  to  a 
boarding  school.  It  required  a  great  effort  for  me  to 
consent  to  part  with  her,  for  I  had  few  near  ties,  and 
it  was  her  presence  that  made  my  two  liltle  rooms  seem 
home-like.  But  my  judgment  prevailed  over  my  self 
ish  feelings.  I  made  preparations  for  her  departure. 
During  the  two  years  we  had  lived  together  I  had 
often  resolved  to  tell  her  something  about  her  father ; 
but  I  had  never  been  able  to  muster  sufficient  courage. 
I  had  a  shrinking  dread  of  diminishing  my  child's 
love.  I  knew  she  must  have  curiosity  on  the  subject, 
but  she  had  never  asked  a  question.  She  was  always 
very  careful  not  to  say  any  thing  to  remind  me  of  my 
troubles.  Now  that  she  was  going  from  me,  I  thought 
if  I  should  die  before  she  returned,  she  might  hear 
my  story  from  some  one  who  did  not  understand  the 
palliating  circumstances  ;  and  that  if  she  were  entirely 
ignorant  on  the  subject,  her  sensitive  nature  might 
receive  a  rude  shock. 

When  we  retired  for  the  night,  she  said,  "  Mother, 
it  is  very  hard  to  leave  you  alone.  I  am  almost  sorry 
I  am  going,  though  I  do  want  to  improve  myself. 
But  you  will  write  to  me  often  ;  won't  you,  mother  ?  " 

I  did  not  throw  my  arms  round  her.     I  did  not  mi- 


The  Confeffion.  283 

swer  her.  But  in  a  calm,  solemn  way,  for  it  cost  me 
great  effort,  I  said, "  Listen  to  me,  Ellen  ;  I  have  some- 
tiling  to  tell  you  ! "  I  recounted  my  early  sufferings 
in  slavery,  and  told  her  how  nearly  they  had  crushed 
me.  I  began  to  tell  her  how  they  had  driven  me  into 
a  great  sin,  when  she  clasped  me  in  her  arms,  and  ex 
claimed,  "  0,  don't,  mother  !  Please  don't  tell  me  any 
more." 

I  said,  "  But,  my  child,  I  want  you  to  know  about 
your  father." 

"  I  know  all  about  it,  mother,"  she  replied;  "  I  am 
nothing  to  my  father,  and  he  is  nothing  to  me.  All 
my  love  is  for  you.  I  was  with  him  five  months  in 
Washington,  and  he  never  cared  for  me.  He  never 
spoke  to  me  as  he  did  to  his  little  Fanny.  I  knew  all 
the  time  he  was  my  father,  for  Fanny's  nurse  told  me 
so  ;  but  she  said  I  must  never  tell  any  body,  and  I 
never  did.  I  used  to  wish  he  would  take  me  in  his 
arms  and  kiss  me,  as  he  did  Fanny ;  or  that  he  would 
sometimes  smile  at  me,  as  he  did  at  her.  I  thought  if 
he  was  my  own  father,  he  ought  to  love  me.  I  was  a 
little  girl  then,  and  didn't  know  any  better.  But  now 
I  never  think  any  thing  about  my  father.  All.  my 
love  is  for  you."  She  hugged  me  closer  as  she  spoke, 
and  I  thanked  God  that  the  knowledge  I  had  so  much 
droadeJ  to  impart  had  not  diminished  the  affection  of 
my  child.  I  had  not  the  slightest  idea  she  knew  that 
portion  of  my  history.  If  I  had,  I  should  have  spoken 
to  her  long  before  ;  for  my  pent-up  feelings  had  often 
longed  to  pour  themselves  out  to  some  one  I  could 
trust.  But  I  loved  the  dear  girl  better  for  the  deli 
cacy  t«he  had  manifested  towards  her  unfortunate 
mother. 


284      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

The  next  morning,  she  and  her  uncle  started  on 
their  journey  to  the  village  in  New  York,  where  she 
was  to  be  placed  at  school.  It  seemed  as  if  all  the 
sunshine  had  gone  away.  My  little  room  was  dread 
fully  lonely.  I  was  thankful  when  a  message  came 
from  a  lady,  accustomed  to  employ  me,  requesting  me 
to  come  and  sew  in  her  family  for  several  weeks.  On 
my  return,  I  found  a  letter  from  brother  William.  He 
thought  of  opening  an  anti-slavery  reading  room  in 
Rochester,  and  combining  with  it  the  sale  of  some 
books  and  stationery  ;  and  he  wanted  me  to  unite  with 
him.  We  tried  it,  but  it  was  not  successful.  We 
found  warm  anti-slavery  friends  there,  but  the  feeling 
was  not  general  enough  to  support  such  an  establish 
ment.  I  passed  nearly  a  year  in  the  family  of  Isaac 
and  Amy  Post,  practical  believers  in  the  Christian  doc 
trine  of  human  brotherhood.  They  measured  a  man's 
worth  by  his  character,  not  by  his  complexion.  The 
memory  of  those  beloved  and  honored  friends  will 
remain  with  me  to  my  latest  hour. 


The  Fugitive  Slave  Law.  285 


XL. 

THE  FUGITIVE   SLAVE  LAW. 

MY  brother,  being  disappointed  in  his  project,  con 
cluded  to  go  to  California;  and  it  was  agreed  that 
Benjamin  should  go  with  him.  Ellen  liked  her  school, 
and  was  a  great  favorite  there.  They  did  not  know 
her  history,  and  she  did  not  tell  it,  because  she  had  no 
desire  to  make  capital  out  of  their  sympathy.  But 
when  it  was  accidentally  discovered  that  her  mother 
was  a  fugitive  slave,  every  method  was  used  to  increase 
her  advantages  and  diminish  her  expenses. 

I  was  alone  again.  It  was  necessary  for  me  to  be 
earning  money,  and  I  preferred  that  it  should  be  among 
those  who  knew  me.  On  my  return  from  Rochester, 
I  called  at  the  house  of  Mr.  Bruce,  to  see  Mary,  the 
darling  little  babe  that  had  thawed  my  heart,  when  it 
was  freezing  into  a  cheerless  distrust  of  all  my  fellow- 
beings.  She  was  growing  a  tall  girl  now,  but  I  loved 
her  always.  Mr.  Bruce  had  married  again,  and  it  was 
proposed  that  I  should  become  nurse  to  a  new  infant. 
I  had  but  one  hesitation,  and  that  was  my  feeling  of 
insecurity  in  New  York,  now  greatly  increased  by  the 
passage  of  the  Fugitive  Slave  Law.  However,  I  re 
solved  to  try  the  experiment.  I  was  again  fortunate 
in  my  employer.  The  new  Mrs.  Bruce  was  an  Ameri 
can,  brought  up  under  aristocratic  influences,  and  still 
living  in  the  midst  of  them  ;  but  if  she  had  any  prej 
udice  against  color,  I  was  never  made  aware  of  it; 


286      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

and  as  for  the  system  of  slavery,  she  had  a  most  hearty 
dislike  of  it.  No  sophistry  of  Southerners  could  blind 
her  to  its  enormity.  She  was  a  person  of  excellent 
principles  and  a  noble  heart.  To  me,  from  that  hour 
to  the  present,  she  has  been  a  true  and  sympathizing 
friend.  Blessings  be  with  her  and  hers ! 

About  the  time  that  I  reentered  the  Bruce  family, 
an  event  occurred  of  disastrous  import  to  the  colored 
people.  The  slave  Hamlin,  the  first  fugitive  that  came 
under  the  new  law,  was  given  up  by  the  bloodhounds 
of  the  north  to  the  bloodhounds  of  the  south.  It  was 
the  beginning  of  a  reign  of  terror  to  the  colored  popu 
lation.  The  great  city  rushed  on  in  its  whirl  of  ex 
citement,  taking  no  note  of  the  "  short  and  simple 
annals  of  the  poor."  But  while  fashionables  were 
listening  to  the  thrilling  voice  of  Jenny  Lind  in  Met 
ropolitan  Hall,  the  thrilling  voices  of  poor  hunted 
colored  people  went  up,  in  an  agony  of  supplication,  to 
the  Lord,  from  Zion's  church.  Many  families,  who  had 
lived  in  the  city  for  twenty  years,  fled  from  it  now. 
Many  a  poor  washerwoman,  who,  by  hard  labor,  had 
made  herself  a  comfortable  home,  was  obliged  to  sac 
rifice  her  furniture,  bid  a  hurried  farewell  to  friends, 
and  seek  her  fortune  among  strangers  in  Canada. 
Many  a  wife  discovered  a  secret  she  had  never  known 
before  —  that  her  husband  was  a  fugitive,  and  must 
leave  her  to  insure  his  own  safety.  Worse  still,  many 
a  husband  discovered  that  his  wife  had  fled  from  sla 
very  years  ago,  and  as  "  the  child  follows  the  condition 
of  its  mother,"  the  children  of  his  love  were  liable  to 
be  seized  and  carried  into  slavery.  Every  where,  in 
those  humble  homes,  there  was  consternation  and 


/he  Fugitive  Slave  Law.  287 

anguish.  But  what  cared  the  legislators  of  the  "  domi 
nant  race"  for  the  blood  they  were  crushing  out  of 
trampled  hearts  ? 

When  my  brother  William  spent  his  last  evening 
with  me,  before  he  went  to  California,  we  talked  nearly 
all  the  time  of  the  distress  brought  on  our  oppressed 
people  by  the  passage  of  this  iniquitous  law ;  and  never 
had  I  seen  him  manifest  such  bitterness  of  spirit, 
such  stern  hostility  to  our  oppressors.  He  was  him 
self  free  from  the  operation  of  the  law ;  for  he  did  not 
run  from  any  Slaveholding  State,  being  brought  into 
the  Free  States  by  his  master.  But  I  was  subject  to  it ; 
and  so  were  hundreds  of  intelligent  and  industrious 
people  all  around  us.  I  seldom  ventured  into  the 
streets ;  and  when  it  was  necessary  to  do  an  errand  for 
Mrs.  Bruce,  or  any  of  the  family.  I  went  as  much  as 
possible  through  back  streets  and  by-ways.  What  a 
disgrace  to  a  city  calling  itself  free,  that  inhabitants, 
guiltless  of  offence,  and  seeking  to  perform  their  duties 
conscientiously,  should  be  condemned  to  live  in  such 
incessant  fear,  and  have  nowhere  to  turn  for  protection  ! 
This  state  of  things,  of  course,  gave  rise  to  many  im 
promptu  vigilance  committees.  Every  colored  person, 
and  every  friend  of  their  persecuted  race,  kept  their 
eyes  wide  -open.  Every  evening  I  examined  the  news 
papers  carefully,  to  see  what  Southerners  had  put  up 
at  the  hotels.  I  did  this  for  my  own  sake,  thinking 
my  young  mistress  and  her  husband  might  be  among 
the  list ;  I  wished  also  to  give  information  to  others, 
if  necessary ;  for  if  many  were  "  running  to  and  fro," 
I  resolved  that  "  knowledge  should  be  increased." 

This  brings  up  one  of  my  Southern  reminiscences, 


288      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

which  I  will  here  briefly  relate.  I  was  somewhat  ac 
quainted  with  a  slave  named  Luke,  who  belonged  to  a 
wealthy  man  in  our  vicinity.  His  master  died,  leaving 
a  son  and  daughter  heirs  to  his  large  fortune.  In  the 
division  of  the  slaves,  Luke  was  included  in  the  son's 
portion.  This  young  man  became  a  prey  to  the  vices 
growing  out  of  the  "  patriarchal  institution,"  and  when 
he  went  to  the  north,  to  complete  his  education,  he 
carried  his  vices  with  him.  He  was  brought  home,  de 
prived  of  the  use  of  his  limbs,  by  excessive  dissipation. 
Luke  was  appointed  to  wait  upon  his  bed-ridden  mas 
ter,  whose  despotic  habits  were  greatly  increased  by 
exasperation  at  his  own  helplessness.  He  kept  a  cow 
hide  beside  him,  and,  for  the  most  trivial  occurrence, 
he  would  order  his  attendant  to  bare  his  back,  and 
kneel  beside  the  couch,  while  he  whipped  him  till  his 
strength  was  exhausted.  Some  days  he  was  not  al 
lowed  to  wear  any  thing  but  his  shirt,  in  order  to  be 
in  readiness  to  be  flogged.  A  day  seldom  passed  with 
out  his  receiving  more  or  less  blows.  If  the  slightest 
resistance  was  offered,  the  town  constable  was  sent  for 
to  execute  the  punishment,  and  Luke  learned  from 
experience  how  much  more  the  constable's  strong  arm 
was  to  be  dreaded  than  the  comparatively  feeble  one 
of  his  master.  The  arm  of  his  tyrant  grew  weaker, 
and  was  finally  palsied ;  and  then  the  constable's  ser 
vices  were  in  constant  requisition.  The  fact  that  he 
was  entirely  dependent  on  Luke's  care,  and  was  obliged 
to  be  tended  like  an  infant,  instead  of  inspiring  any 
gratitude  or  compassion  towards  his  poor  slave,  seemed 
only  to  increase  his  irritability  and  cruelty.  As  he 
lay  there  on  his  bed,  a  mere  degraded  wreck  of  man- 


The  Fugitive  Slave  Law.  289 

hood,  he  took  into  his  head  the  strangest  freaks  of  des 
potism  ;  and  if  Luke  hesitated  to  submit  to  his  orders, 
the  constable  was  immediately  sent  for.  Some  of  these 
freaks  were  of  a  nature  too  filthy  to  be  repeated. 
When  I  fled  from  the  house  of  bondage,  I  left  poor 
Luke  still  chained  to  the  bedside  of  this  cruel  and  dis 
gusting  wretch. 

One  day,  when  I  had  been  requested  to  do  an  errand 
for  Mrs.  Bruce,  I  was  hurrying  through  back  streets, 
as  usual,  when  I  saw  a  young  man  approaching,  whose 
face  was  familiar  to  me.  As  he  came  nearer,  I  recog 
nized  Luke.  I  always  rejoiced  to  see  or  hear  of  any 
one  who  had  escaped  from  the  black  pit ;  but,  remem 
bering  this  poor  fellow's  extreme  hardships,  I  was 
peculiarly  glad  to  see  him  on  Northern  soil,  though  I 
no  longer  called  it  free  soil.  I  well  remembered  what 
a  desolate  feeling  it  was  to  be  alone  among  strangers, 
and  I  went  up  to  him  and  greeted  him  cordially.  At 
first,  he  did  not  know  me  ;  but  when  I  mentioned  my 
name,  he  remembered  all  about  me.  I  told  him  of 
the  Fugitive  Slave  Law,  and  asked  him  if  he  did  not 
know  that  New  York  was  a  city  of  kidnappers. 

He  replied,  "  De  risk  ain't  so  bad  for  me,  as  'tis  fur 
you.  'Cause  I  runned  away  from  do  speculator,  and 
you  runned  away  from  de  massa.  Dem  speculators 
vont  spen  dar  money  to  come  here  fur  a  runaway,  if 
dey  ain't  sartin  sure  to  put  dar  hans  right  on  him.  An 
I  tell  you  I's  tuk  good  car  'bout  dat.  I  had  too  hard 
times  down  dar,  to  let  'em  ketch  dis  nigger." 

He  then  told  me  of  the  advice  he  had  received,  and 
the  plans  he  had  laid.  I  asked  if  he  had  money 
enough  to  take  him  to  Canada.  "  Tend  upon  it,  I 

25 


290      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

hab,"  he  replied.  "I  tuk  car  fur  dat.  I'd  bin  workin 
all  my  days  fur  dein  cussed  whites,  an  got  no  pay  but 
kicks  and  cuffs.  So  I  tought  dis  nigger  had  a  right  to 
money  nufif  to  bring  him  to  de  Free  States.  Massa 
Henry  he  lib  till  ebery  body  vish  him  dead ;  an  ven 
he  did  die,  I  knowed  de  debbil  would  hab  him,  an 
vouldn't  vant  him  to  bring  his  money  'long  too.  So 
I  tuk  some  of  his  bills,  and  put  'em  in  de  pocket  of 
his  ole  trousers.  An  ven  he  was  buried,  dis  nigger 
ask  fur  dem  ole  trousers,  an  dey  gub  'em  to  me." 
With  a  low,  chuckling  laugh,  he  added,  "  You  see  I 
didn't  steal  it ;  dey  gub  it  to  me.  I  tell  you,  I  had 
mighty  hard  time  to  keep  de  speculator  from  findiu 
it ;  but  he  didn't  git  it." 

This  is  a  fair  specimen  of  how  the  moral  sense  is 
educated  by  slavery.  When  a  man  has  his  wages 
stolen  from  him,  year  after  year,  and  the  laws  sanction 
and  enforce  the  theft,  how  can  he  be  expected  to  have 
more  regard  to  honesty  than  has  the  man  who  robs 
him?  I  have  become  somewhat  enlightened,  but  I 
confess  that  I  agree  with  poor,  ignorant,  much-abused 
Luke,  in  thinking  he  had  a  right  to  that  money,  as  a 
portion  of  his  unpaid  wages.  He  went  to  Canada  forth 
with,  and  I  have  not  since  heard  from  him. 

All  that  winter  I  lived  in  a  state  of  anxiety.  When 
I  took  the  children  out  to  breathe  the  air,  I  closely 
observed  the  countenances  of  all  I  met.  I  dreaded 
the  approach  of  summer,  when  snakes  and  slavehold 
ers  make  their  appearance.  I  was,  in  fact,  a  slave  in 
New  York,  as  subject  to  slave  laws  as  I  had  been  in  a 
Slave  State.  Strange  incongruity  in  a  State  called  free ! 

Spring  returned,  and  I  received  warning  from  the 


The  Fugitive  Slave  Law.  291 

south  that  Dr.  Flint  knew  of  my  return  to  my  old 
place,  and  was  making  preparations  to  have  me  caught. 
I  learned  afterwards  that  my  dress,  and  that  of  Mrs. 
Bruce's  children,  had  been  described  to  him  by  some 
of  the  Northern  tools,  which  slaveholders  employ  for 
their  base  purposes,  and  then  indulge  in  sneers  at  their 
cupidity  and  mean  servility. 

I  immediately  informed  Mrs.  Bruce  of  my  danger, 
and  she  took  prompt  measures  for  my  safety.  My 
place  as  nurse  could  not  be  supplied  immediately,  and 
this  generous,  sympathizing  lady  proposed  that  I  should 
carry  her  baby  away.  It  was  a  comfort  to  me  to  have 
the  child  with  me;  for  the  heart  is  reluctant  to  be 
torn  away  from  every  object  it  loves.  But  how  few 
mothers  would  have  consented  to  have  one  of  their 
own  babes  become  a  fugitive,  for  the  sake  of  a  poor, 
hunted  nurse,  on  whom  the  legislators  of  the  country 
had  let  loose  the  bloodhounds !  When  I  spoke  of  the 
sacrifice  she  was  making,  in  depriving  herself  of  her 
dear  baby,  she  replied,  "  It  is  better  for  you  to  have 
baby  with  you,  Linda ;  for  if  they  get  on  your  track, 
they  will  be  obliged  to  bring  the  child  to  me  ;  and  then, 
if  there  is  a  possibility  of  saving  you,  you  shall  be 
saved." 

This  lady  had  a  very  wealthy  relative,  a  benevolent 
gentleman  in  many  respects,  but  aristocratic  and  pro- 
slavery,  lie  remonstrated  with  her  for  harboring  a 
fugitive  slave ;  told  her  she  was  violating  the  laws  of 
her  country ;  and  asked  her  if  she  was  aware  of  the 
penalty.  She  replied,  "  I  am  very  well  aware  of  it. 
It  is  imprisonment  and  one  thousand  dollars  fine. 
Shame  on  my  country  that  it  is  so !  I  am  ready  to 


2Q2       Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

incur  the  penalty.  I  will  go  to  the  state's  prison, 
rather  than  have  any  poor  victim  torn  from  my  house, 
to  be  carried  back  to  slavery." 

The  noble  heart !  The  brave  heart !  The  tears  are 
in  my  eyes  while  I  write  of  her.  May  the  God  of  the 
helpless  reward  her  for  her  sympathy  with  my  perse 
cuted  people ! 

I  was  sent  into  New  England,  \?here  I  was  sheltered 
by  the  wife  of  a  senator,  whom  I  shall  always  hold  in 
grateful  remembrance.  This  honorable  gentleman 
would  not  have  voted  for  the  Fugitive  Slave  Law,  as 
did  the  senator  in  "  Uncle  Tom's  Cabin ; "  on  the 
contrary,  he  was  strongly  opposed  to  it ;  but  he  was 
enough  under  its  influence  to  be  afraid  of  having  me 
remain  in  his  house  many  hours.  So  I  was  sent  into 
the  country,  where  I  remained  a  month  with  the  baby. 
When  it  was  supposed  that  Dr.  Flint's  emissaries  had 
lost  track  of  me,  and  given  up  the  pursuit  for  the 
present,  I  returned  to  New  York. 


Free  at  Laft.  293 


XLI. 
FREE  AT   LAST. 

MRS.  BRUCE,  and  every  member  of  her  family,  were 
exceedingly  kind  to  me.  I  was  thankful  for  the  bless 
ings  of  my  lot,  yet  I  could  not  always  wear  a  cheerful 
countenance.  I  was  doing  harm  to  no  one ;  on  the 
contrary,  I  was  doing  all  the  good  I  could  in  my 
small  way ;  yet  I  could  never  go  out  to  breathe  God's 
free  air  without  trepidation  at  my  heart.  This  seemed 
hard ;  and  I  could  not  think  it  was  a  right  state  of 
things  in  any  civilized  country. 

From  time  to  time  I  received  news  from  my  good 
old  grandmother.  She  could  not  write ;  but  she  em 
ployed  others  to  write  for  her.  The  following  is  an 
extract  from  one  of  her  last  letters :  — 

"  Dear  Daughter :  I  cannot  hope  to  see  you  again  on 
earth ;  but  I  pray  to  God  to  unite  us  above,  where 
pain  will  no  more  rack  this  feeble  body  of  mine ; 
where  sorrow  and  parting  from  my  children  will  be  no 
more.  God  has  promised  these  things  if  we  are  faith 
ful  unto  the  end.  My  age  and  feeble  health  deprive 
me  of  going  to  church  now  ;  but  God  is  with  me  here 
at  home.  Thank  your  brother  for  his  kindness.  Give 
much  love  to  him,  and  tell  him  to  remember  the 
Creator  in  the  days  of  his  youth,  and  strive  to  meet 
me  in  the  Father's  kingdom.  Love  to  Ellen  and  Ben 
jamin.  Don't  neglect  him.  Tell  him  for  ine,  to  be  a 
good  boy.  Slrive,  my  child,  to  train  them  for  God's 

25* 


294     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

children.  May  he  protect  and  provide  for  you,  is  the 
prayer  of  your  loving  old  mother." 

These  letters  both  cheered  and  saddened  me.  I  was 
always  glad  to  have  tidings  from  the  kind,  faithful  old 
friend  of  my  unhappy  youth;  but  her  messages  of 
love  made  my  heart  yearn  to  see  her  before  she  died, 
and  I  mourned  over  the  fact  that  it  was  impossible. 
Some  months  after  I  returned  from  my  flight  to  New 
England,  I  received  a  letter  from  her,  in  which  she 
wrote,  "  Dr.  Flint  is  dead.  He  has  left  a  distressed 
family.  Poor  old  man !  I  hope  he  made  his  peace 
with  God." 

I  remembered  how  he  had  defrauded  my  grand 
mother  of  the  hard  earnings  she  had  loaned ;  how  he 
had  tried  to  cheat  her  out  of  the  freedom  her  mistress 
had  promised  her,  and  how  he  had  persecuted  her  chil 
dren  ;  and  I  thought  to  myself  that  she  was  a  better 
Christian  than  I  was,  if  she  could  entirely  forgive  him. 
I  cannot  say,  with  truth,  that  the  news  of  my  old 
master's  death  softened  my  feelings  towards  him. 
There  are  wrongs  which  even  the  grave  does  not  bury. 
The  man  was  odious  to  me  while  he  lived,  and  his 
memory  is  odious  now. 

His  departure  from  this  world  did  not  diminish  my 
danger.  He  had  threatened  my  grandmother  that  his 
heirs  should  hold  me  in  slavery  after  he  was  gone; 
that  I  never  should  be  free  so  long  as  a  child  of  his 
survived.  As  for  Mrs.  Flint,  I  had  seen  her  in  deeper 
afflictions  than  I  supposed  the  loss  of  her  husband 
would  be,  for  she  had  buried  several  children ;  yet  I 
never  saw  any  signs  of  softening  in  her  heart.  The 
doctor  had  died  in  embarrassed  circumstances,  and  had 


Free  at  Laft.  295 

little  to  will  to  his  heirs,  except  such  property  as  he 
was  unable  to  grasp.  I  was  well  aware  what  I  had  to 
expect  from  the  family  of  Flints ;  and  my  fears  were 
confirmed  by  a  letter  from  the  south,  warning  me  to 
be  on  my  guard,  because  Mrs.  Flint  openly  declared 
that  her  daughter  could  not  afford  to  lose  so  valuable 
a  slave  as  I  was. 

I  kept  close  watch  of  the  newspapers  for  arrivals ;  but 
one  Saturday  night,  being  much  occupied,  I  forgot  to 
examine  the  Evening  Express  as  usual.  I  went  down 
into  the  parlor  for  it,  early  in  the  morning,  and  found 
the  boy  about  to  kindle  a  fire  with  it.  I  took  it  from 
him  and  examined  the  list  of  arrivals.  Eeader,  if  you 
have  never  been  a  slave,  you  cannot  imagine  the  acute 
sensation  of  suffering  at  my  heart,  when  I  read  the 
names  of  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Dodge,  at  a  hotel  in  Courtland 
Street.  It  was  a  third-rate  hotel,  and  that  circum 
stance  convinced  me  of  the  truth  of  what  I  had  heard, 
that  they  were  short  of  funds  and  had  need  of  my 
value,  as  they  valued  me ;  and  that  was  by  dollars  and 
cents.  I  hastened  with  the  paper  to  Mrs.  Bruce.  Her 
heart  and  hand  were  always  open  to  every  one  in  dis 
tress,  and  she  always  warmly  sympathized  with  mine. 
It  was  impossible  to  tell  how  near  the  enemy  was.  He 
might  have  passed  and  repassed  the  house  while  we 
were  sleeping.  He  might  at  that  moment  be  waiting 
to  pounce  upon  me  if  I  ventured  out  of  doors.  I  had 
never  seen  the  husband  of  my  young  mistress,  and 
therefore  I  could  not  distinguish  him  from  any  other 
stranger.  A  carriage  was  hastily  ordered ;  and,  closely 
veiled,  I  followed  Mrs.  Bruce,  taking  the  baby  again 
with  me  into  exile.  After  various  turnings  and  cross- 


296      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

ings,  and  returnings,  the  carriage  stopped  at  the  house 
of  one  of  Mrs.  Bruce's  friends,  where  I  was  kindly 
received.  Mrs.  Bruce  returned  immediately,  to  in 
struct  the  domestics  what  to  say  if  any  one  came  to 
inquire  for  me. 

It  was  lucky  for  me  that  the  evening  paper  was  not 
burned  up  before  I  had  a  chance  to  examine  the  list 
of  arrivals.  It  was  not  long  after  Mrs.  Bruce's  return 
to  her  house,  before  several  people  came  to  inquire  for 
me.  One  inquired  for  me,  another  asked  for  my 
daughter  Ellen,  and  another  said  he  had  a  letter  from 
my  grandmother,  which  he  was  requested  to  deliver  in 
person. 

They  were  told,  "  She  has  lived  here,  but  she  has 
left." 

"  How  long  ago  ? " 

"  I  don't  know,  sir." 

"  Do  you  know  where  she  went  ?  " 

"  I  do  not,  sir."  And  the  door  was  closed. 
f  This  Mr.  Dodge,  who  claimed  me  as  his  property, 
was  originally  a  Yankee  pedler  in  the  south ;  then  he 
became  a  merchant,  and  finally  a  slaveholder.  He 
managed  to  get  introduced  into  what  was  called  the 
first  society,  and  married  Miss  Emily  Flint.  A  quarrel 
arose  between  him  and  her  brother,  and  the  brother 
cowhided  him.  This  led  to  a  family  feud,  and  he  pro 
posed  to  remove  to  Virginia.  Dr.  Flint  left  him  no 
property,  and  his  own  means  had  become  circum 
scribed,  while  a  wife  and  children  depended  upon  him 
for  support.  Under  these  circumstances,  it  was  very 
natural  that  he  should  make  an  effort  to  put  me  into 
liis  pocket. 


Free  at  Laft.  297 

I  had  a  colored  friend,  a  man  from  my  native  place, 
in  whom  I  had  the  most  implicit  confidence.  I  sent 
for  him,  and  told  him  that  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Dodge  had 
arrived  in  New  York.  I  proposed  that  he  should  call 
upon  them  to  make  inquiries  about  his  friends  at  the 
south,  with  whom  Dr.  Flint's  family  were  well  ac 
quainted.  He  thought  there  was  no  impropriety  in  his 
doing  so,  and  he  consented.  He  went  to  the  hotel, 
and  knocked  at  the  door  of  Mr.  Dodge's  room,  which 
was  opened  by  the  gentleman  himself,  who  gruffly  in 
quired,  "  What  brought  you  here  ?  How  came  you  to 
know  I  was  in  the  city  ?  " 

"  Your  arrival  was  published  in  the  evening  papers, 
sir ;  and  I  called  to  ask  Mrs.  Dodge  about  my  friends 
at  home.  I  didn't  suppose  it  would  give  any  offence." 

"  Where's  that  negro  girl,  that  belongs  to  my  wife  ? " 

"  What  girl,  sir  ?  " 

"  You  know  well  enough.  I  mean  Linda,  that  ran 
away  from  Dr.  Flint's  plantation,  some  years  ago.  I 
dare  say  you've  seen  her,  and  know  where  she  is." 

"  Yes,  sir,  I've  seen  her,  and  know  where  she  is. 
She  is  out  of  your  reach,  sir." 

"  Tell  me  where  she  is,  or  bring  her  to  me, -and  I 
will  give  her  a  chance  to  buy  her  freedom." 

"  I  don't  think  it  would  be  of  any  use,  sir.  I  have 
heard  her  say  she  would  go  to  the  ends  of  the  earth, 
rather  than  pay  any  man  or  woman  for  her  freedom, 
because  she  thinks  she  has  a  right  to  it.  Besides,  she 
couldn't  do  it,  if  she  would,  for  she  has  spent  her 
earnings  to  educate  her  children." 

This  made  Mr.  Dodge  very  angry,  and  some  high 
words  passed  between  them.  My  friend  was  afraid  to 


298      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

come  where  I  was ;  but  in  the  course  of  the  day  I 
received  a  note  from  him.  I  supposed  they  had  not 
come  from  the  south,  in  the  winter,  for  a  pleasure 
excursion ;  and  now  the  nature  of  their  business  was 
very  plain. 

Mrs.  Bruce  came  to  me  and  entreated  me  to  leave 
the  city  the  next  morning.  She  said  her  house  was 
watched,  and  it  was  possible  that  some  clew  to  me  might 
be  obtained.  I  refused  to  take  her  advice.  She  pleaded 
with  an  earnest  tenderness,  that  ought  to  have  moved 
me ;  but  I  was  in  a  bitter,  disheartened  mood.  Lwas. 
weary_of  flying  from  pillar  to  post.  I  had  been  chased 
during  half  my  life,  and  it  seemed  as  if  the  chase  was 
never  to  end.  There  I  sat,  in  that  great  city,  guiltless 
of  crime,  yet  not  daring  to  worship  God  in  any  of  the 
churches.  I  heard  the  bells  ringing  for  afternoon  ser 
vice,  and,  with  contemptuous  sarcasm,  I  said,  "  Will 
the  preachers  take  for  their  text,  '  Proclaim  liberty  to 
the  captive,  and  the  opening  of  prison  doors  to  them 
that  are  bound '  ?  or  will  they  preach  from  the  text, 
'  Do  unto  others  as  ye  would  they  should  do  unto  you '  ? " 
Oppressed  Poles  .and  Hungarians  could  find  a  safe 
refuge  in  that  city  ;  John  Mitchell  was  free  to  proclaim 
in  the  City  Hall  his  desire  for  "  a  plantation  well  stocked 
with  slaves  ;"  but  there  I  sat,  an  oppressed  American, 
not  daring  to  show  my  face.  God  forgive  the  black  and 
bitter  thoughts  I  indulged  on  that  Sabbath  day  !  The 
Scripture  says,  "  Oppression  makes  even  a  wise  man 
mad  ; "  and  I  was  not  wise. 

I  had  been  told  that  Mr.  Dodge  said  his  wife  had  never 
signed  away  her  right  to  my  children,  and  if  he  could 
not  get  me,  he  would  take  them.  This  it  was,  more 


Free  at  Laft.  299 

than  any  thing  else,  that  roused  such  a  tempest  in  my 
soul.  Benjamin  was  with  his  uncle  William  in  Cali 
fornia,  but  my  innocent  young  daughter  had  come  to 
spend  a  vacation  with  me.  I  thought  of  what  I  had 
suffered  in  slavery  at  her  age,  and  my  heart  was  like  a 
tiger's  when  a  hunter  tries  to  seize  her  young. 

Dear  Mrs.  Bruce  !  I  seem  to  see  the  expression  of 
her  face,  as  she  turned  away  discouraged  by  my  obsti 
nate  mood.  Finding  her  expostulations  unavailing,  she 
sent  Ellen  to  entreat  me.  When  ten  o'clock  in  the 
evening  arrived  and  Ellen  had  not  returned,  this  watch 
ful  and  unwearied  friend  became  anxious.  She  came 
to  us  in  a  carriage,  bringing  a  well-filled  trunk  for  my 
journey  —  trusting  that  by  this  time  I  would  listen  to 
reason.  I  yielded  to  her,  as  I  ought  to  have  done 
before. 

The  next  day,  baby  and  I  set  out  in  a  heavy  snow 
storm,  bound  for  New  England  again.  I  received  let 
ters  from  the  City  of  Iniquity,  addressed  to  me  under 
an  assumed  name.  In  a  few  days  one  came  from  Mrs. 
Bruce,  informing  me  that  my  new  master  was  still 
searching  for  me,  and  that  she  intended  to  put  an  end 
to  this  persecution  by  buying  my  freedom.  I  felt  grate 
ful  for  the  kindness  that  prompted  this  offer,  but  the 
idea  was  not  so  pleasant  to  me  as  might  have  been 
expected.  The  more  my  mind  had  become  enlightened7\ 
the  more  difficult  it  was  for  me  to  consider  myself  an 
article  of  property ;  and  to  pay  money  to  those  who  ; 
had  so  grievously  oppressed  me  seemed  like  taking 
from  my  sufferings  the  glory  of  triumph.  I  wrote  to 
Mrs.  Bruce,  thanking  her,  but  saying  that  being  sold 
from  one  owner  to  another  seemed  too  much  like 


300      Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

slavery  ;  that  such  a  great  obligation  could  not  be 
easily  cancelled  ;  and  that  I  preferred  to  go  to  my 
brother  in  California. 

Without  my  knowledge,  Mrs.  Bruce  employed  a  gen 
tleman  in  New  York  to  enter  into  negotiations  with 
Mr.  Dodge.  He  proposed  to  pay  three  hundred  dollars 
down,  if  Mr.  Dodge  would  sell  me,  and  enter  into  obli 
gations  to  relinquish  all  claim  to  me  or  my  children 
forever  after.  He  who  called  himself  my  master  said 
he  scorned  so  small  an  offer  for  such  a  valuable  servant. 
The  gentleman  replied.  "  You  can  do  as  you  choose, 
sir.  If  you  reject  this  offer  you  will  never  get  any 
thing ;  for  the  woman  has  friends  who  will  convey  her 
and  her  children  out  of  the  country." 

Mr.  Dodge  concluded  that  "  half  a  loaf  was  better 
than  no  bread,"  and  he  agreed  to  the  proffered  terms. 
By  the  next  mail  I  received  this  brief  letter  from  Mrs. 
Bruce  :  "  I  am  rejoiced  to  tell  you  that  the  money  for 
your  freedom  has  been  paid  to  Mr.  Dodge.  Come 
home  to-morrow.  I  long  to  see  you  and  my  sweet 
babe." 

My  brain  reeled  as  I  read  these  lines.  A  gentleman 
near  me  said,  "  It's  true  ;  I  have  seen  the  bill  of  sale." 
"  The  bill  of  sale  !  "  Those  words  struck  me  like  a 
blow.  So  I  was  sold  at  last !  A  human  being  sold  in 
the  free  city  of  New  York !  The  bill  of  sale  is  on 
record,  and  future  generations  will  learn  from  it  that 
women  were  articles  of  traffic  in  New  York,  late  in  the 
nineteenth  century  of  the  Christian  religion.  It  may 
hereafter  prove  a  useful  document  to  antiquaries,  who 
are  seeking  to  measure  the  progress  of  civilization  in 
the  United  States.  I  well  know  the  value  of  that  bit 


Free  at  Laft.  301 

of  paper  ;  but  much  as  I  love  freedom,  I  do  not  like  to 
look  upon  it.  I  am  deeply  grateful  to  the  generous 
friend  who  procured  it,  but  I  despise  the  miscreant  who 
demanded  payment  for  what  never  rightfully  belonged 
to  him  or  his. 

I  had  objected  to  having  my  freedom  bought,  yet  I 
must  confess  that  when  it  was  done  I  felt  as  if  a  heavy 
load  had  been  lifted  from  my  weary  shoulders.  When 
I  rode  home  in  the  cars  I  was  no  longer  afraid  to  unveil 
my  face  and  look  at  people  as  they  passed.  I  should 
have  been  glad  to  have  met  Daniel  Dodge  himself;  to 
have  had  him  seen  me  and  known  me,  that  he  might 
have  mourned  over  the  untoward  circumstances  which 
compelled  him  to  sell  me  for  three  hundred  dollars. 

When  I  reached  home,  the  arms  of  my  benefactress 
were  thrown  round  me,  and  our  tears  mingled.  As 
soon  as  she  could  speak,  she  said,  "  0  Linda,  I'm  so 
glad  it's  all  over  !  You  wrote  to  me  as  if  you  thought 
you  were  going  to  be  transferred  from  one  owner  to 
another.  But  I  did  not  buy  you  for  your  services.  I 
should  have  done  just  the  same,  if  you  had  been  going 
to  sail  for  California  to-morrow.  I  should,  at  least, 
have  the  satisfaction  of  knowing  that  you  left  me  a 
free  woman." 

My  heart  was  exceedingly  full.  I  remembered  how 
my  poor  father  had  tried  to  buy  me,  when  I  was  a  small 
child,  and  how  he  had  been  disappointed.  I  hoped  his 
spirit  was  rejoicing  over  me  now.  I  remembered  how 
my  good  old  grandmother  had  laid  up  her  earnings  to 
purchase  me  in  later  years,  and  how  often  her  plans 
had  been  frustrated.  How  that  faithful,  loving  old 
heart  would  leap  for  joy,  if  she  could  look  on  me  and 

26 


302     Incidents  in  the  Life  of  a  Slave  Girl. 

my  children  now  that  we  were  free  !  My  relatives  had 
been  foiled  in  all  their  efforts,  but  God  had  raised  me 
up  a  friend  among  strangers,  who  had  bestowed  on  me 
the  precious,  long-desired  boon.  Friend  !  It  is  a  com 
mon  word,  often  lightly  used.  Like  other  good  and 
beautiful  things,  it  may  be  tarnished  by  careless  hand 
ling  ;  but  when  I  speak  of  Mrs.  Bruce  as  my  friend, 
the  word  is  sacred. 

My  grandmother  lived  to  rejoice  in  my  freedom  ;  but 
not  long  after,  a  letter  came  with  a  black  seal.  She 
had  gone  "  where  the  wicked  cease  from  troubling,  and 
the  weary  are  at  rest." 

Time  passed  on,  and  a  paper  came  to  me  from  the 
south,  containing  an  obituary  notice  of  ray  uncle 
Phillip.  It  was  the  only  case  I  ever  knew  of  such  an 
honor  conferred  upon  a  colored  person.  It  was  written 
by  one  of  his  friends,  and  contained  these  words : 
"  Now  that  death  has  laid  him  low,  they  call  him  a  good 
man  and  a  useful  citizen  ;  but  what  are  eulogies  to 
the  black  man,  when  the  world  has  faded  from  his 
vision  ?  It  does  not  require  man's  praise  to  obtain  rest 
in  God's  kingdom."  So  they  called  a  colored  man  a 
citizen  !  Strange  words  to  be  uttered  in  that  region  ! 

Reader,  my  story  ends  with  freedom ;  not  in  the 
usual  way,  with  marriage.  I  and  my  children  are  now 
free  !  We  are  as  free  from  the  power  of  slaveholders 
as  are  the  white  people  of  the  north ;  and  though  that, 
according  to  my  ideas,  is  not  saying  a  great  deal,  it  is 
a  vast  improvement  in  my  condition.  The  dream  of 
my  life  is  not  yet  realized.  I  do  not  sit  with  my  chil 
dren  in  a  home  of  my  own.  I  still  long  for  a  hearth 
stone  of  my  own,  however  humble.  I  wish  it  for  my 


Free  at  Laft.  303 

children's  sake  far  more  than  for  my  own.  But  God 
so  orders  circumstances  as  to  keep  me  with  my  friend 
Mrs.  Bruce.  Love,  duty,  gratitude,  also  bind  me  to 
her  side.  It  is  a  privilege  to  serve  her  who  pities  my 
oppressed  people,  and  who  has  bestowed  the  inestima 
ble  boon  of  freedom  on  me  and  my  children. 

It  has  been  painful  to  me,  in  many  ways,  to  recall 
the  dreary  years  I  passed  in  bondage.  I  would  gladly 
forget  them  if  I  could.  Yet  the  retrospection  is  not 
altogether  without  solace ;  for  with  those  gloomy  recol 
lections  come  tender  memories  of  my  good  old  grand 
mother,  like  light,  fleecy  clouds  floating  over  a  dark 
and  troubled  sea. 


APPENDIX. 


THE  following  statement  is  from  Amy  Post,  a  member  of  the 
Society  of  Friends  in  the  State  of  New  York,  well  known  and 
highly  respected  by  friends  of  the  poor  and  the  oppressed.  As  has 
been  already  stated,  in  the  preceding  pages,  the  author  of  this 
volume  spent  some  time  under  her  hospitable  roof.  L.  M.  c. 

"  The  author  of  this  book  is  my  highly-esteemed  friend.  If  its 
readers  knew  her  as  I  know  her,  they  could  not  fail  to  be  deeply 
interested  in  her  story.  She  was  a  beloved  inmate  of  our  family 
nearly  the  whole  of  the  year  1849.  She  was  introduced  to  us  by 
her  affectionate  and  conscientious  brother,  who  had  previously 
related  to  us  some  of  the  almost  incredible  events  in  his  sister's 
life.  I  immediately  became  much  interested  in  Linda  ;  for  her  ap 
pearance  was  prepossessing,  and  her  deportment  indicated  remark 
able  delicacy  of  feeling  and  purity  of  thought. 

"  As  we  became  acquainted,  she  related  to  me,  from  time  to  time 
some  of  the  incidents  in  her  bitter  experiences  as  a  slave-woman. 
Though  impelled  by  a  natural  craving  for  human  sympathy,  she 
passed  through  a  baptism  of  suffering,  even  in  recounting  her 
trials  to  me,  in  private  confidential  conversations.  The  burden  of 
these  memories  lay  heavily  upon  her  spirit  —  naturally  virtuous  and 
refined.  I  repeatedly  urged  her  to  consent  to  the  publication  of 
her  narrative ;  for  I  felt  that  it  would  arouse  people  to  a  more 
earnest  work  for  the  disinthralment  of  millions  still  remaining  in 
that  soul-crushing  condition,  which  was  so  unendurable  to  her. 
But  her  sensitive  spirit  shrank  from  publicity.  She  said,  'You 

(304) 


Appendix.  305 

know  a  woman  can  whisper  her  cruel  wrongs  in  the  ear  of  a  dear 
friend  much  easier  than  she  can  record  them  for  the  world  to  read.' 
Even  in  talking  with  me,  she  wept  so  much,  and  seemed  to  suffer  such 
mental  agony,  that  I  felt  her  story  was  too  sacred  to  be  drawn  from 
her  by  inquisitive  questions,  and  I  left  her  free  to  tell  as  much,  or 
as  little,  as  she  chose.  Still,  I  urged  upon  her  the  duty  of  pub 
lishing  her  experience,  for  the  sake  of  the  good  it  might  do ;  and, 
at  last,  she  undertook  the  task. 

"  Having  been  a  slave  so  large  a  portion  of  her  life,  she  is  un 
learned  ;  she  is  obliged  to  earn  her  living  by  her  own  labor,  and 
she  has  worked  untiringly  to  procure  education  for  her  children ; 
several  times  she  has  been  obliged  to  leave  her  employments,  in 
order  to  fly  from  the  man-hunters  and  woman-hunters  of  our  land ; 
but  she  pressed  through  all  these  obstacles  and  overcame  them. 
After  the  labors  of  the  day  were  over,  she  traced  secretly  and 
wearily,  by  the  midnight  lamp,  a  truthful  record  of  her  eventful  life. 

"  This  Empire  State  is  a  shabby  place  of  refuge  for  the  op 
pressed  ;  but  here,  through  anxiety,  turmoil,  and  despair,  the  free 
dom  of  Linda  and  her  children  was  finally  secured,  by  the  exertions 
of  a  generous  friend.  She  was  grateful  for  the  boon  ;  but  the  idea 
of  having  been  bought  was  always  galling  to  a  spirit  that  could 
never  acknowledge  itself  to  be  a  chattel.  She  wrote  to  us  thus, 
soon  after  the  event :  '  I  thank  you  for  your  kind  expressions  in 
regard  to  my  freedom ;  but  the  freedom  I  had  before  the  money 
was  paid  was  dearer  to  me.  God  gave  me  that  freedom ;  but  man 
put  God's  image  in  the  scales  with  the  paltry  sum  of  three  hundred 
dollars.  I  served  for  my  liberty  as  faithfully  as  Jacob  served  for 
Rachel.  At  the  end,  he  had  large  possessions ;  but  I  was  robbed 
of  my  victory  ;  I  was  obliged  to  resign  my  crown,  to  rid  myself  of 
a  tyrant.' 

"  Her  story,  as  written  by  herself,  cannot  fail  to  interest  the 
reader.  It  is  a  sad  illustration  of  the  condition  of  this  country, 
which  boasts  of  its  civilization,  \vhile  it  sanctions  laws  and  customs 
which  make  the  experiences  of  the  present  more  strange  than  any 
fictions  of  the  past. 

AMY  POST. 

"  ROCHESTER,  N.  Y.,  Oct.  30th,  1859." 

26* 


306  Appendix. 

The  following  testimonial  is  from  a  man  who  is  now  a  highly 
respectable  colored  citizen  of  Boston.  L.  M.  c. 

"  This  narrative  contains  some  incidents  so  extraordinary,  that, 
doubtless,  many  persons,  under  whose  eyes  it  may  chance  to  fall, 
will  be  ready  to  believe  that  it  is  colored  highly,  to  serve  a  special 
purpose.  But,  however  it  may  be  regarded  by  the  incredulous,  I 
know  that  it  is  full  of  living  truths.  I  have  been  well  acquainted 
with  the  author  from  my  boyhood.  The  circumstances  recounted 
in  her  history  are  perfectly  familiar  to  me.  I  knew  of  her  treat 
ment  from  her  master ;  of  the  imprisonment  of  her  children ;  of 
their  sale  and  redemption ;  of  her  seven  years'  concealment ;  and 
of  her  subsequent  escape  to  the  North.  I  am  now  a  resident  of 
Boston,  and  am  a  living  witness  to  the  truth  of  this  interesting 

narrative. 

GEORGE  W.  LOWTHEK." 


]__ 


THE  T,TT?P.AFTr 


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